((I hope I didn't scare you with the chapter title! So, with Ben's stupidity pending, I found some of the other material I was going to use over the course of writing this fic. I know sometimes it seems like I just throw stuff down on the page (that's usually how my process works) BUT where Ben and Normay are now isn't always where they were going to be. Have a look at what almost was. It's in reasonable chronological order but none of it is connected. I think all of it is from later in the story. Let me know what you think! And the next ACTUAL chapter will be up in a few minutes! :D))

"Today is the end of the Republic! The end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder! At this very moment, in a system far from here the New Republic LIES to the GALAXY while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome Resistance. This fierce machine which you have built, upon which we stand, will bring an end to the Senate! To their cherished fleet! All remaining systems will bow to the First Order! And will remember this… as the last day of the Republic!"

She stood behind him like the rest of the unarmoured staff. Uniform pristine, hair back, posture and make up perfect (it had to be with the events of the night previous). The words washed over her as she stared ahead at nothing. She knew what was going to happen. There was nothing she could do. If she tried to leave now, he'd spot her and drag her back.

She tried to talk to Ren but it was the one thing they disagreed on; this weapon, this genocide. The Hosnian System, the New Republic was first; a test. An example to the rest of the galaxy of what would happen if they didn't comply, if they refused to be enslaved. Normay didn't realize just how disturbing thousands of Stormtroopers saluting at once could be.

The answer is unbelievably so. There was silence. No cheers, no roars of support which, in a way, was worse. The female's head was held high and her eyes were closed as the first shot was fired. A light snail-trail of a tear slowly ambled its way down her cheek from under her shut lids. Millions, maybe billions of lives wiped out in just seconds. She had to do something.

The cell opened and a dark figure entered. The pilot watched from the corner, the blood from the mild wound at the side of his head having dried significantly. It was no secret Poe had survived a probing from Kylo Ren. He'd spoken in hushed tones with General Organa about him.

"So you're Kylo Ren." The pilot growled with derision from the corner. Ren approached him and crouched down so they were face to face. Well, behind the helmet.

"And you are?" There was something of a satisfied chuckle from the injured pilot even though he was positively terrified and Ren could feel it.

"Doesn't matter who I am." The pilot replied, smiling so Ren could see the blood on his teeth. "You won't get anything out of me." Upon closer inspection, he was quite young, maybe twenty two or twenty three, pale with icy blue eyes and dark hair.

"Funny. The other pilot said the same." He was referring to Poe. "And I cracked him like an egg."

"Kill me if you want." The pilot hissed back. He was brave, Ren would give him that. "You're gonna do it anyway. But I'm tellin' you sweet fuck all."

"We'll see." Ren's hand rose to the pilot's head and started to comb through memories. He saw a base, ships, droids, people. That was all. No clue to a location. It seemed he'd had a certain amount of mind protective training.

He was about to start a more painful process of literally tearing out the information he sought but another memory called to him. Something less recent, less than a year old.

He saw green. Plush and plentiful. A ship was waiting. A child's voice, a little boy's, echoed through it.

"Don't go! Please don't go!"

"I'll be back soon, Von, I promise." The tender voice of a female. He focused more; he couldn't make her out. It was like looking into a murky pond. He could see but he couldn't. The pilot's mind seemed to have had some resistance training but it was sloppy. "You'll be good, won't you? I promise I'll be back as soon as I can." She turned her attention to him: the pilot.

"Brom, I swear to fuck, if I come back and you're tangled up in somethin' illegal, I'll fuckin' crease you!" As she pulled him into a hug, he saw her face. The same face he had just left sleeping, that silver ponytail so soft that he could stroke it forever. Her voice was desperate, heartbroken.

"Please, mind yourself. And them. Be careful." Ren jolted himself back and Brom went in the opposite direction, back against the wall.

"Get what you were lookin' for?!" Brom seethed and now Ren could see it. How had he not recognized it before? The mannerisms, the temper, the accent, the subtle facial features. It was Normay's brother. Ren didn't answer. He turned on his heel and exited the cell. #

"Well?!" Hux barked impatiently as soon as he saw his colleague.

"No one is to go in there until I return." Ren instructed with force as he started down the corridor. "He's useful." Whether or not Brom was useful, he didn't know. But Normay had to know her brother was on board.

Normay woke with an inexplicable sense of unease. The base was strangely quiet as she wandered along the corridors, something leading her to the bridge. When she got there, she leaned over the railings to find herself confronted with the sight of an unmasked Kylo Ren face to face with a man with grey hair.

"REN!" His face had been sober and cold before he heard her. And now that he had, it had softened and his gaze had shifted to the railings. The man he was with noticed it to.

"The hell?!" Han breathed, his eyesight hadn't improved with age but he'd know that silver flag of a ponytail anywhere. "Normay?" Ren's eyes traced briefly back to his father, confusion marring his features.

Normay didn't ask for an explanation. She made for the closest exit down onto the bridge, high heels pounding and hurting like no one's business but she ignored it just now. Carefully, she moved onto the platform where the familiar pair were waiting, seemingly dumbstruck, for her.

"Han…" She breathed, brushing past Ren and staring down the older man, bewildered. "What are you doing here?!"

"I could ask you the same damn thing!" He retorted gruffly, somewhat distracted from the seriousness of the situation by the girl he'd known since before she was born. "Wearing that?!" He was referring to the First Order uniform.

"Han, I-" "Do you know what your mom and dad would say if he saw you now?! Wearin' a damn First Order uniform?!"

"I did what I had to do, Han!" Normay barked back, having found herself again. The mention of her father had rattled her but she was still the no shit taker he'd pegged her for at four.

"I wasn't gonna let them fuckin' starve! And what are doin' here?!" Han wasn't blind but he could see the soft spot in his son for the silver haired female. They'd met on a First Order ship of all places.

"Remember I told you about Ben?!" He gestured sarcastically her and Ren. "Ben. Normay. Normay. Ben." Normay's body turned slowly to stare down the man in black behind her. The one she knew as Kylo Ren.

"What?!"

"May, I swear I was going to tell you."

"Fuckin' when, BEN?!" Han crossed his arms and listened. He'd predicated that too. Normay would be well able for Ben.

"Look, we can fight later or you can kiss and make up later….." Normay's face flashed in a blush. "But right now, we gotta get outta here. You." He pointed along to the other edge of the bridge where Chewie was waiting.

"Are coming with us. I'm ain't meeting Terry on the other side and tellin' him I left you here. So…." He cast his son a solemn but questioning look. "You comin' or stayin'?" Ben hesitated until Normay turned back to face him, the same question in her face.

"I'm not goin' without you. But I really don't wanna die here." How could he say no to that? Taking hold of her hand, Ben gave it a squeeze and though the light was slowly draining from the sky, Ben could feel it start to flood back into him. He'd have the added drama of Finn and Rey later but as long as he had Normay, he'd cope.

"Let's go."

"Good. Your mother would've kicked my ass if I came back without you."

"You shoulda' seen her, Leia." Han remembered saying, sitting down at his kitchen table and resting his head in his hands. "She was so pale…. So still…. I don't know what I'd do if somethin' like that happened to Ben…."

Kylo Ren had lain in the snow for some time. He ached all over, frost bite threatened to eat away at him each second if he was not moved soon. Barely alive, he felt himself being picked up and placed into the warmth of a ship.

He felt the bed underneath him, he heard the roar of the engines and then he realized he was safe. Safe and all as he was, his body temperature was dangerously low, on the cusp of hypothermia and his injuries made survival look doubtful.

Consciousness was not a priority. He did, however, get snippets of sound in between his blackouts. Two voices he knew only too well. One cruel and distinguished. The other rough and brash.

"Remember, doctor. He dies so do you."

"Well then maybe you should have abducted an actual medic, you fuckin' idiot!" As the days (?) progressed, Ren's consciousness was still fitful but he appeared to be stabilizing with the care he received from beyond the dark of his eyelids. She may not have been a medic but she did what she could out of love.

When his consciousness did return to him, however briefly, he always fought to open his eyes, to speak or even just to see her but none of his efforts prevailed. He'd hear things when he was semi awake, usually Normay.

"I swear to fuck, if you touch me there one more fuckin' time, I'll break every bone in your fuckin' hand." No context but concerning all the same.

Or: "What part of 'Fuck off. I'd rather live inside a dead tauntaun for the rest of my fuckin' life' don't you understand?"

Or: "You're being unreasonable, Normay."

"No. If I was being unreasonable, I'd have fuckin' scalped that ginger head of yours by now. Don't fuckin' test me, Hux." If she was more aggressive, it was because he drove her to it. Right?

Normay fended off the General on her own though she spent the vast majority of her time at Kylo Ren's side waiting for him to wake like a loyal friend would. Since Hux discovered her secret, he was insufferable.

She barely had an hour when he wasn't pestering her and her threats got more and more intense. When Ren finally did wake, he was set upon with the tightest hug he had probably ever received. If he hadn't been so sore, he would have returned it gladly.

"Ow! May, off! Off! Oww! OWW!"

"Sorry!" She whimpered, drawing back but leaning forward again after a few seconds, just to be close to him. "Jesus Christ, you scared me." The scar on his face didn't seem so prominent when his face was motionless but now that he was awake and speaking, it creased into his face in a way that he could probably feel.

"I've missed you so much." She told him quietly; silently grateful that he'd woken. For a while it looked like he wouldn't.

"I could hear you jumping down Hux's throat." He told her with approval but didn't get the usual triumph they both shared when one of them bested the General. Instead of anger flaring in her face as usual when his name was mentioned, it was something that looked like pain. "Something about living in a dead tauntaun for the rest of your life? What could he possibly have said to you?"

"It's complicated, I'll explain later. You should rest. If he hears us, he'll come in. I've only just gotten fuckin' rid of him." Ren lay back in the bed and gazed up at her. She did the same back down to him, adjusting her hand on the bed to cover his and give it a light squeeze. Something was niggling at him though. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"There's something different about you." Ren told her cryptically which made her cock her head to the side in what would have been an adorable fashion.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"You seem tired. Like something's draining you."

"You mean like Hux? Just bein' around him is a fuckin' trial."

"No, something else. Like something's literally draining you." Normay hesitated. Maybe this wasn't the best time to tell him but he seemed to have it (or something) figured out.

"Yeah, that might have somethin' to do with the fact that I'm pregnant, Ren."

Ren stared at her, his heart having frozen over almost like the rest of him.

"You're what?"

"I'm pregnant. It means-"

"I know what it means. How?"

"Well, when a man and a woman both have stressful jobs, sometimes they-"

"May. Who?"

"Fuckin' guess, Ren. Guess who fuckin' knocked me up."

"No..."

"That's what I said too but with a few more choice words thrown in." The pair lapsed into silence. It wasn't what he'd wanted to hear upon waking up, or ever, now that he thought about it.

Hux had said Normay belonged to him and this wouldn't be a reminder she'd soon forget. Kylo Ren moved his hand under her's. She was about to pull it away, sensing unease but he enveloped it in his instead.

"You get that this just kinda happened, right?" Normay broke the silence but spoke quietly. "It wasn't supposed to but it did. I was probably pregnant when I met you... I just... didn't realize it." Ren didn't respond as such. He simply looked down at her hand in his and gently stroked her paler skin with his thumb.

"Are you happy?" Normay considered the question but more importantly, she considered her answer and its implication.

"This was an accident." She answered carefully. "But... I love this little accident. Every day I can feel it gettin' bigger and stronger - I hate callin' it 'it' - And I just have this overwhelmin' urge to protect it. Obviously, if I could change some things I would. The timin' and the father are fairly shit, those things. I'll get by though. It'll be fine." Another silence.

"Does he know?" The silver haired female sighed and Ren immediately regretted asking the question.

"He knows. He caught on quicker than I thought he would. He's more observant than I realized. Look." Normay gently took her hand back and stood up. She took a few paces back so he could see her fully and he saw it. She was curvy anyway but now that curve on her stomach was more defined, solid.

"What did he say?" She'd sat down on the bed now beside him rather than on the chair.

"The tauntaun thing..." She replied, watching the door in case Hux came back. "He keeps askin' me to marry him. He said it would be better for us, for the baby, for his career... Not that I give a shit about him or his fuckin' career."

"You're not going to do it though?"

"Yes. Purely to smother him on the wedding night." She raised an eyebrow at him with a taint of amusement and a one sided smirk. "I'm not marryin' that prick, Ren. I thought you knew me better than that."

"I have sustained serious injuries. My judgement might be a bit off." He commented in a playfully dry manner, picking her hand back up and closing his eyes.

"I know. Jesus Christ, I'm amazed you're fuckin' alive. Blaster to the side? Various saber burns? Borderline hypothermia? What the fuck, Ren, seriously."

"I couldn't leave you on your own, could I?" She had to laugh at his confidence.

"You're some smooth bastard. Defyin' death just for me." He responded by pressing a kiss to her hand and settled down against the bed, still holding her hand in his. "He won't let you rest for very long." The playfulness had seeped out of her voice now which led him to opening one eye to look at her. "He's been waitin' for you to wake so you can go to Snoke."

"Have you considered it?"

"You haven't given me time to stop fuckin' considerin' it, have you?" He'd cornered her down the corridor from Ren's room while he prepared to visit his master.

"So you have an answer?"

"Fuck, Hux. I've been giving you answers since you first popped the fuckin' question! It's not the one you want and it's not fuckin' changin'!" Normay went to walk back to her room but found her wrist enclosed by the General's powerful hand.

"I swear to fuck..."

"I don't think you understand just how serious-"

"Oh I get it!" Normay spat with venom, not bothering to embarrass herself by struggling. He was stronger than her and she knew it.

"You don't like that someone's tellin' you you can't fuckin' have somethin'!" She wasn't wrong. He yanked her closer towards him by her wrist and held her fast as his cold blue eyes stared into the grey of hers.

"If I have to drag you back to Arkanis-"

"Oh OF COURSE you live on fuckin' Arkanis!" Normay exclaimed with a frustrated roll of her eyes, it would make sense that he would choose to set up his home where the Imperial troops were trained. It proved he had nothing else in his life.

"Fucks sake, it doesn't get much fuckin' sadder than that! And for the record, draggin' me anywhere ain't a good fuckin' trait in an engaged couple! Just in case you didn't fuckin' know!" His free hand went to her blossoming bump and her own free hand lashed out.

"I told you not to fuckin' touch me there!"

"You need to start thinking about doing what's right!"

"If I was concerned with doin' what was right, I'd have smothered you in your fuckin' sleep months ago! Or just not even looked at you in the fuckin' first place!"

"You have a duty to the First Order!" Whatever about Arkanis, that made her laugh. Cold, vicious and condescending with a smirk to match. Right into his pallid face.

"The First Order? Are you for fuckin' real? I have no allegiance to the First Order and I certainly don't have any to you. And in case you missed it? Your own fuckin' base crumbled from under you." She watched with satisfaction as the realization crept into his eyes and his grip on her wrist loosened somewhat so she snatched it back.

"The First fuckin' Order is gone. You are no longer my General. I have no duty of any sort of care to you anymore. So fuck the First Order. Fuck you and fuck your shitty proposals!"

When his mother entered, his vision slowly dragged to her and held but didn't offer an explanation. Normay stirred at the opening of the door and went to pull away but Ben kept her close. Leia didn't know what she wanted to say. She didn't know how to take his sudden appearance and this woman concerned her on another maternal level.

"So…. You came home." The General spoke first as Normay slowly woke up.

"I did."

"Why?"

"Isn't that what you wanted? When you sent him?" Leia felt bile rise in her throat. How dare he?

"You ok?" He asked his companion quietly as she woke fully, temporarily ignoring his mother.

"I'm fine…." Normay glanced and found they weren't alone. Slowly pulling herself out of Ben's arms, he reluctantly let her go and looked back to the General.

"I want to speak to you, Ben." It was somewhat steely with an edge of seclusion to the woman on the bed beside her son.

"Anything you say to me can be said in front of her. You found the General?"

"We did." Leia answered, drawing herself up to her full height. It didn't make sense. Why would he hand over his colleague? "He has woken up though not worse for wear. He keeps punching the wall of his cell." Ben looked sideways at Normay with a small smirk though Leia had no idea why. "What did you do to him?"

"Crowbar to the back of the head."

"I see…."