Sorry it's been so long, but I had no ideas and I probably won't update for a while after this because I have to write a couple of other things too. Lots of B&B in this. Sorry for the massive delay between chapters which is going to continue for a while, but I hope you can forgive me my amazing reviewers, favouriters, and story alerters. :D
Brennan made sure he was gone and then made a quick detour to the bathroom, worried far before she should. Four days was nothing. And she knew that she could get a false positive within the first two weeks, but she was suddenly, irrationally worried. She reached into her pocket and drew out the test, biting her lip and suddenly scared of what was going to happen. She recalled what Booth had said about Rebecca a few years ago:
'We were waiting for the stick to turn blue or not to turn blue and realized I wanted to marry her if the stick was blue or not.' Booth had shuffled a little then, reluctant to meet her eyes.
She closed her eyes as she washed her hands, letting the cool water rush over them, after a few minutes barely feeling it. After taking her time drying her hands and making sure they were completely dry, she could put it off no longer. She checked her watch. Fifteen minutes had passed since she'd done it, more time than was needed; the moment of truth. She looked, taking in a deep breath before leaning in closer to read the digital writing on it. She'd chosen the easy-read so there was no mistaking it, and also because they were more trusted. Her eyes filled with tears.
Pregnant
She bit her lip again, forcing herself to think rationally. It had only been four days, and she knew she could get a false positive during the first week or so. But she was sure. She closed her eyes again and thought it through one more time.
If I'm pregnant, she thought carefully, If I'm pregnant, I'll have to wait two weeks to do another test, and by that time I'll know for certain anyway. Taking a deep breath, she counted the days from her last period and estimated that by next week, she would know for certain if she was pregnant or not. If she was, she would have to tell Booth. She sighed and went about gathering the box, instructions and all evidence of the test apart from the stick itself and disposing of them carefully, where no one would find them. Then, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she hurried out of the bathroom, unable to catch every tear that fell. She reached her office and shut the door, locking it behind her and drawing the blinds. She was sleeping in the office tonight.
oOo
Booth stared out of the window, watching over the city. He wasn't tired; something was biting in the back of his mind, something he couldn't quite let go. Something Brennan had told him before.
'I saw him slip it into my drink but I drank it anyway.'
Surely the bartender must have seen something, heard something. Anything. They got a face, matching nothing in any database from anywhere. Unless… unless they had something wrong with the face. It was Caucasian, yes, it was male, yes, but had Angela tried every combination. He assumed so. But it was still there in the back of his mind, still there and niggling constantly. He reached for his cell and scrolled through his phone book, feeling a little bad about rousing her, but more than likely she was awake anyway.
'Booth, what the hell?' Came the disgruntled reply from the other end of the line.
'Angela I'm so sorry, but I need to know something.' There was a groan from the other end of the line. 'I'm sorry, it's important.'
'Could it have not waited until morning?' She sounded exhausted.
'I guess it could, but I need to ask something.'
'Ask away.' He imagined her on the other end of the phone, flopped back, trying not to fall asleep.
'When you did your face from the description the bartender gave us, did you try making his hair either blond or a darker brown?'
'I was going on what the bartender said and I gave a little for the light there, but I didn't think if he was drunk or a little drugged, or hell, even being paid to say that.'
'No, don't say that, please don't say that.'
'Sorry, tomorrow when I get back to the lab, I'll check and see with other hair colours and take a stab at the eye colour in correlation to skin and hair colour.'
'Okay, thanks Angela, so sorry for waking you.'
'No, no I'm okay. Goodnight Booth.' She hung up and Booth put his phone down on the table, still staring mundanely out of the window. He wanted to call Brennan, see if she was home, and see if she was feeling okay, and if not, why not. So he did. He dialled her number, laying back on the bed and waiting for her to pick up, counting the rings.
'Brennan.' She sounded exhausted, and as if she had been crying, her voice had a kind of husky tone to it.
'Bones hey, are you okay?' There was silence for a while, almost as if Brennan was figuring out how to answer that one.
'Hey Booth, I'm… I'm fine.' She sounded as though she had lied to him, and also that she'd just woken from a deep sleep.
'Are you sure?' She sat in her chair, head on her arm, the ache in her ribs intensifying as she moved slightly.
'Yeah I'm fine.' She lied quickly, leaning back, staring at the plain ceiling.
'You don't sound fine. Want me to come over and stay with you?'
'No. No, I'm okay.' She answered fast, way too fast and Booth suddenly knew something was wrong.
'Bones, what's happened?' There was a drawn out sob. Then silence on the other end of the line as she tried to piece together what was left of her mentality.
'Nothing's happened, at least, nothing of… importance.' She swallowed, still staring at the test on her desk, the one word burning into her mind.
Pregnant
It was like a curse. Like a mark on her. She bit back a sob as Booth spoke into the phone again.
'Brennan, what's happened?' She placed her hand flat on the desk.
'Nothing has happened Booth. Now, if you'll let me go back to sleep.'
'Oh I woke you! I'm sorry.'
'No, it's okay. I was awake anyway. I was just a little… irritated. There's a siren outside my window.' She lied again, well, not lied, bent the truth. There was a siren, just not outside the window of her home.
'Oh right, I could come and hug you…'
'No, I'll see you tomorrow at work. Goodnight Booth.'
'Goodnight Bones. Love you.'
'Love you too Booth.' She put the phone down and rested back against her chair, for a moment before standing up and heading to her sofa.
oOo
Which is where Booth found her in the morning, sat on her couch with a mug of coffee in one hand and a file in the other.
'Hey.' She looked up at his voice, her eyes still a little puffy and red from her tears a couple of hours before.
'Hey.' Her voice was still husky, but she smiled wanly.
'How are you feeling?' She bit back a retort, keeping the news to herself.
'I'm okay, why?'
'You seemed… tense when I called.' He told her, reaching down and rubbing her shoulders, hoping she would loosen up.
'I'm fine, really.' Too late she realized that she hadn't disposed of the test and it was stuffed hastily under a few papers, the writing still visible. She stoop up abruptly and swept it into her pocket, her fingers brushing the piece of crumpled paper that she'd placed in there the day before.
'I'm sorry, I'm just worried about… what happened to you has done to your mind, maybe you're just…'
'I hate psychology Booth.' She sat back down and pulled her keyboard to her, tapping in her password and bringing up a file.
'Is that…? Is that one of your books?' He asked her softly, once again behind her with the palm of his hand on her shoulder, skim-reading part of the book on the screen.
'Yes, now stop looking!' She swatted him away and closed the document again. 'I can't think Booth.' She whispered.
'What? What do you mean?' He asked her, rubbing her arm a little.
'I can't think, my mind just… seems to be returning, returning to everything that happened in that place, everything he did to me… but the worst thing is… I could feel her watching me.' Brennan let Booth put his arm around her and leaned into his warmth, taking comfort in the feel of him. She hadn't realized she was crying until her face felt wet, and raising a hand she wiped them away with the palm of it.
'Bones, you have to face up to this you know, tell me… what happened?'
'I hate psychology!' She tried to shout, but was fed up of crying, fed up of lying, and fed up of pushing him away. But somehow… he took it all and never left her side for a moment.
'I know, I know you do. But let me in.'
'I… I… I can't. Please, please just leave me alone.'
'No, not until you talk to me.'
'I'm scared.'
'Okay, I get that, but please. Tell me. I love you, I won't push you away.' He hugged her again and she stood, walking towards the couch and throwing herself into it, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging them tightly. He sat down beside her, barely touching her until she let him, not speaking until she spoke.
'Booth?'
'Yes?'
'I don't know if I can do this… I'm still scared.'
'They can't hurt you anymore, I won't let them.' He placed an arm around her shoulders and drew her to him.
'You can't promise that.'
'Hey, Bones, I'm me, of course I can.' She smiled.
oOo
Darkness, light, torches, pain, tired. Emotions and feeling raged through her battered body, the hot, heavy scent of blood present in the air. Her blood, and someone else's blood… someone who was almost certainly dead. She could feel the tackiness on her skin, smell the harsh ammonia smell of bleach and feel grit beneath her hands.
I'm going to die here, she thought. Then there was a noise, barely discernible except her senses were heightened due to the adrenaline. But the dull ache in her arm was overriding everything, the crack of her ribs playing over and over in her head. She could still remember how she got here.
Flashing light, pain all over, strong hands lifting her roughly from her prison and throwing her to the ground. She'd landed painfully, her elbow jamming up into her ribs and cracking one or two of them. And now she was hurting everywhere. There were footsteps behind her, and she desperately tried to move, gaining nothing more than an ache in her ribs and spreading blood on the floor.
'This the one?' A voice, gruff, deep. A man.
'Yes.' A cold, distant voice. A woman. Brennan tried to move.
'A feisty one then?' The man.
'Yes, that's what I like about her.' The woman again, humor in her voice as Brennan felt her shadow fall over her face. 'Get to work.' She felt her wrists being tied with some tight, prickly material, even as she tried to push it off. The man was stronger than her in her weakened state, and he quickly overpowered her, pushing her back onto the floor and pawing at her slacks. Still with no gag on, she did the most stupid thing she could.
'Get off of me or I'll kick your ass.' Which earned her a slap across the face, and, breathless, she was gagged with something cold and wet. She bit down and tasted the unmistakable salt of blood run into her mouth. She had to swallow, and by now tears were coursing down her cheeks.
'You can't like this.' In the pale light, she could see the leer on his face. He sliced the knife down and cut the front of her shirt open, revealing her bra and bruised skin of her chest. She closed her eyes and tried to block everything out.
Booth will kick his ass
Booth will kick his ass
Booth will kick his ass
Booth will kick his ass
She thought this as he abused her, raped her and hurt her until she slipped into unconsciousness.
oOo
'Jeez Bones, why didn't you tell me before?'
'I was scared you'd push me away. I'm damaged goods Booth.'
'No, you're not. You're my Bones.'
'I feel like damaged goods.'
'You aren't. You're mine.' He kissed her cheek and pulled her in to his embrace, waiting for her to relax into it.
'Thank you Booth.'
'Hey, it's nothing. I got Angela to run the face again, but with different hair and skin tones, just in case.'
'Thank you.' She stood up, brushed down her pants and turned to face him.
'I'm going to go home for a bit, just to… see if it jogs my memory you know?'
'I know, but haven't you been home all night?'
'Does it matter? I'm not even supposed to be here.'
'Fair enough. I'll come get you later okay?'
'Why?'
'I want to make sure you're okay.'
'Thank you.' She told him, genuinely touched. And then she was gone. She walked swiftly outside, keeping her head down until she reached her car, and then slipped inside, keying the ignition and pulling away. She cast one last glance at the Jeffersonian before leaving towards her apartment and placing both hands carefully on the steering wheel. They trembled. If she was a smoker, she supposed that right now she'd be taking a deep drag on a cigarette, hoping it would calm her nerves. But Temperance Brennan knew what smoking did to you, and was not at all anxious to try it. Her hands were still shaking.
'God damn it!' She rarely swore (although one of her most favorite phrases when she was angry with someone was "rat-bastard") but this time just seemed fitting. Right now she just wanted a drink, but she couldn't, wouldn't. She was reminded of a time when they'd solved a tough case and she was in the lab as Booth had come by, nursing a drink.
'Vodka?' Booth had asked, looking suddenly hopeful. She had laughed.
'No, water. But it's…' She held up the glass and shook it, the ice inside rattling slightly. 'On the rocks.'
And now she craved a drink. But for the sake of what might be, she wasn't. She wanted a kid, heck she even asked Booth to father a kid, and now she had her wish. And she was happy, she hoped he would be too.
But nothing was confirmed yet.
But even so, she was terrified.
So sorry for the wait, I hope the chapter was worth it. Tell me what you think (: reviewsies please :D