Guys, we are so close. We are ALMOST DONE. I can hardly believe it. I genuinely, truly, can hardly believe how close this story is to over and just how much support you all have shown me throughout it. Thank you all so much
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New Jazz Age
Chapter Twelve: The Closer Curse
North's eyes snap open with an unrelenting sense of panic. Not to his alarm clock. Not to the sunlight peering through the blinds of his room.
It's all to the sound of a small chatter, barely comprehensible from his bedroom, and the scraping and sizzling that follows it.
He wakes up to the most horrifying realization of all – that someone in this house of theirs is attempting to cook unsupervised. Or worse yet, with each other while he's been busy sawing logs upstairs.
Filling with concern, North finds a t-shirt in his nearest dresser drawer and immediately pulls it over his head as he begins padding across the carpet and toward the stairs.
As he comes down the stairs, North tries to erase the alarm he feels toward the scenario – after all, it's more than a little disconcerting that a grown man would feel complete terror at the prospect of other adults cooking his breakfast for him. But he's lived with his boyfriend and girlfriend long enough that it's not exactly an outlandish fear either.
Once he reaches the hallway and can smell eggs and possibly bacon as well as better make out the voices of the rest of the household, North somewhat regrets waking up at all. Not just because of the unnecessary panic, but because he can't imagine a worst conversation to come in on.
"The voting is not even because Theo is not contributing to the rent of this house," Carolina says, though her tone belies her amusement.
"It's even because Theo gets as much say as any other Church in this house. It's the new rule, I just made it," York answers. "And I think the fact that Theo has very thoughtfully been looking into the qualifications of an emotional support dog, we should reward his forward thinking."
"Yeah," Theo says, with the sort of bravado that North has yet to see come from him in any circumstances outside of their walls.
"Who in this house needs emotional support?" Carolina asks dryly.
"You've got to be kidding," York all but coughs into a mug of coffee.
North stops at the door and looks back and forth across the kitchen. "I sleep in one morning and we're suddenly letting York near caffeine."
"We're trying out a reward system," Carolina says without hesitation. "Speaking of which, I almost came to wake you up, but I figured that would be cruel of me since you haven't slept in to my knowledge in… never?"
Suspicious of this kindness, North tilts his head at her and looks to York for a translation.
Lowering his cup, York gives a half smirk. "She is ecstatic to be first one up because she is ecstatic any time she is first at something." He narrowly avoids Carolina's elbow with a gentle ease and the both of them share easy, mirrored smirks at each other.
Theo doesn't move between them, fixing a fourth plate that seems to be for North without even asking if it needs to be done.
Not really thinking twice about doing so, North curls his fingers around the outside of the door frame and leans in toward the kitchen. Not quite entering, not quite taking the step forward.
"We're still arguing about the dog conundrum and awaiting a vote," York elaborates. His eye focuses in on North in that way that makes it clear he can't back down now. "What's the final say? Theo's on my side."
"Wholeheartedly," Theo nods.
"And I still say it's ridiculous right now," Carolina says in turn.
North's nose twitches. "I think we know what I'm going to vote here," North says with complete dedication to ignoring the groans of discontent that comes from York and Theo as a result. He refocuses on Carolina. "Plans for this Saturday?" he asks.
Carolina opens her mouth to answer, but Theo leaps in oblivious to his sister's attempt to answer.
"Caroline and I are going to go see Ellison and bring him real food so he'll stop complaining about the hospital food. It's not really real food he wants, it's fast food. Which we're not going to do because Caroline says that it'll make his blood pressure higher, but we'll bring him good stuff," Theo answers in quick succession, hardly taking a breath between sentences let alone words.
North can't help but feel his mouth tug in the corners at the explosion of noise that is the young kid. Still, he eyes Carolina for confirmation.
Still flustered with being interrupted but working quickly to hide it, Carolina crosses her arms and awkwardly nods. "What he said."
Shifting his eyes from the siblings to York, North quirks a brow. "And you're supposed to be getting your permit today."
"Supposed to be," York says, shifting to put his hands in his pants pockets and rock on the balls of his feet. "We'll see if I pass the eye exam first."
"You will," North says. "I'll take you to the court house." Before York can argue he puts up his hand and stops him. "I insist."
"Fine," York replies almost petulantly.
Looking back to Carolina and Theo, North crosses his arms. "And I'd like to drop the two of you off at the hospital on the way, too."
"You don't have to do that, I'll drive us," Carolina says, ignoring the way the offer alone lights up Theo's face.
"Again, I insist," North presses. "It'll give you time to answer emails on the way. Win-win."
Carolina considers the new angle and nods mostly to herself. Which is more than enough for the confirmation North needs.
Stepping into the kitchen finally, North goes for his plate of breakfast, taking it graciously from Theo.
"You have any plans for Saturday?" Theo asks.
"I have some things in mind," North answers, a more genuine if not mysterious smile quirking on his lips.
For the first time that at least North can recall, his car is filled. Carolina in the passenger seat answering emails on her phone, York regaling nonsense stories to Theo in the back.
It's only once the Church siblings are dropped off at the hospital and York climbs over the center console to slip into the front seat Carolina has left unoccupied rather than get out and back in the car like an adult that things slip back into a sort of normal that North hasn't had in what feels like ages.
"Must we mess with the radio?" North asks as York does that very thing.
"It's my right as a passenger," York responds before finding what he deems an appropriate station and laying back against his seat. "Think I'll pass the vision test?"
"You've been living with one eye for over a year now, and I did the research to make sure you could," North says without missing a beat. "Just inform them you have monocular vision."
"Monocular? That's the word for it?" York feigns ignorance, still leaning further back into his seat. "And why'd I have to tell them anyway? Can't I just like… point at the sucker? It seems obvious at this point–"
"I know you're nervous, but it really makes me uncomfortable when you joke around about it," North admits, shutting down the punchline entirely.
He's not even certain why he said it, why he would bother to interrupt at all. He usually just lets the upset remain where it belongs, buried deep in his chest, ever tightening.
York looks his way and frowns. "But that means I have to find another way of keeping up conversations with you. And, my dude, that is easier said than done in your case sometimes."
"I know, I'm sorry," North sighs. "I just don't like remembering how we almost lost you." He looks York's way fully, letting his periphery stay concentrated on the road. "Without you… this whole life wouldn't have been possible. Living after the war wouldn't have been possible."
"It'd have been possible," York attempts to argue, though even his own voice delivers it flatly. Devoid of reality.
"No," North says a truthfully as he can, as painfully as he can. "Not for me."
York's not happy with the answer but he allows the silence to hang between them – what little silence there can be when the radio station is blasting.
He produces a driver's permit pamphlet from his jacket pocket and begins to mindlessly flip through it. It's a useless attempt at seeming like he isn't truly bothered by North's rhetoric, but North appreciates it all the same.
In the back of his mind, though, North knows he shouldn't appreciate it. Being left in his self-sustained solace isn't getting him anywhere. It never has.
The reason he's there today, driving his ridiculous boyfriend around after dropping off their girlfriend is because of the closeness he's finally allowed himself to have in his life. Because of the closeness that York and Carolina have all but drug out of him.
"I'm better now," North says. "I'm human again. Getting there." He concentrates heavily on the road ahead, keeping his vision from blurring. "It takes time… after they train you to stop feeling. So that you can do the job I did. To be as good at it as I was."
Not looking up from the pamphlet, York's brow furrows. "We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to, North. I get it. I really do."
"I don't want to talk about it either," North admits readily. "But you need to know… Both of you deserve to know that I'm… going to keep trying. To be… emotional and things. And not in the outbursty, knuckle breaking kind of way."
As they pull into a parking spot, York actually snorts. "Well, that's a positive," he jokes before looking up. A confused look crosses his face and then he glances to North again. "I… Here?"
"Yeah," North nods, putting the car in park and turning the key out of the ignition. "That a problem?"
York's mouth works itself for words that never quite make it out. Then his brows raise and he leans back a bit, looking toward the building ahead of them with a bit of wonder. "No, not at all," he says, stuffing the pamphlet into his jacket pocket again.
Making quick work of his seatbelt, York readies to leave the car, hand on the handle, then he looks a little worriedly toward North. "You're… Uh, you gotta do this with me, right? I mean… doing it by myself's going to cause all kinda anxiety and I've not quite seen that therapist yet so who knows how I'll handle the stress and–"
"Yes, I'll be there in just a minute, you'll barely be through the paperwork part before I'm backing you up," North reassures him, pulling his cellphone from the cup holder it had been resting in. "I just need to make a call first. It won't take more than a few minutes."
There's a suspicious arch of York's brow before he takes a heralding breath and exits the car on his own.
North watches, a small smirk on his face, as York nearly clicks his heels with anxiety and excitement on his way into the tiny government ran building.
Once York's through the doors, North turns his eyes back down to his phone and instinctively calls the number he knows by heart.
Resting the phone against his ear, North listens for long ring after long ring – more than the average person would ever bother with. But he knows what to expect, especially when the phone finally clicks and he hears a groaning, groggy voice on the other end of the phone.
"Holy shit, why are you up this early on a Saturday?" North hears his sister's voice and smiles.
"You wouldn't be interested in the story even if I told you," North says honestly, tapping his free hand on the wheel and looking toward the door.
"It's really loud wherever you are," she continues. "Can barely fucking hear you. And I'm tired. Gonna hang up now–"
"Hold on just a few minutes longer," North urges over the sounds of his twin's groans. He sighs, knowing he has to really grab her attention to make this matter. "Sammy."
There's shuffling on the other end of the phone, the creaking of a mattress. "Sam. How many times do I have to tell you to call me Sam, Nolan–"
"I'm sorry," he interrupts. "Not for calling you Sammy. Brothers don't apologize for being annoying, but I'm sorry for… I'm sorry. You're right. You've been right the whole time. I… I came back different. I came back really fucked up."
They lapse into silence, and just below the ruckus outside, North can make out his sister's breathing.
For a moment it's the only sign that she's still there.
"Yeah, well, that doesn't take a genius," she remarks flatly.
"I'm getting help," he continues. "And… And I'd like to go home and see everyone again. Soon. Not too soon. But… eventually?"
He's not even sure what he's asking for anymore but South isn't immediately dismissive.
"Yeah, okay," she says surprisingly instead. "Mom and dad'll like that and all. You used to be the favorite and all – it's too weird having their full attention. I liked it divided. It was fair that way."
"Well, maybe we could split that attention even more now," he says. "I… want my families to meet."
There's a long pause.
South curses. "Did you knock someone up? I thought you were gay as Christmas, you fucker–"
"No!" North snaps back, but he can't help but have a laugh in his voice. "I mean, yes. Actually no. I'm… In a relationship. With two people. Only one of them is another man."
There is a near traumatizing pause on the other end of the phone again. This time North can't even make out his sister's breaths.
Then, to his rushing relief, she lets out a sigh. "Do you have to make everything more difficult?" she asks sincerely. "No one's going to care so long as you don't go crazy eyes and stare at a wall for three hours again. Alright? If you live with another man or some kind of nudist colony, everyone here'll be fine as long as you're just yourself again."
North squints some, the corners of his eyes crinkling with a smile of relief. "Would you want me to be in a nudist colony rather than a polygamous relationship?"
"I would never want you to subject other people to your bleachness, no," she replies without hesitation. "Give us a date when you're coming to visit, numbnuts, alright?"
"I will," he promises.
And he means it.
For a Saturday it already feels like a long day by the time he takes York home and heads into the hospital for himself.
North honestly hasn't spent too much time in the hospital rooms since Ellison has woken up, there are a lot of feelings that clinical settings unpack for him, and he's not really willing to face them for just anyone.
There's a different feeling in his chest as he approaches the room, though, and hears what sounds like a man's voice carrying far louder than the more familiar tones of Carolina and Theo.
Perhaps that is the familial Church loudness he's heard so much about.
"Okay I'm about sick of losing these games," he hears the same voice declare. "Someone hand me that tablet again. I need to read some magazines or something. Get away from this cheating."
"I'm not cheating, I won," Carolina replies, though by the time North is looking through the door she is handing her bed bound brother a tablet all the same. "I always win. I thought you would have been used to that by now."
"I'm used to you cheating. God, you haven't changed one bit since we were kids," Ellison snorts, accepting the tablet with his good arm. "Tell her she's a cheater, Theo."
"You can't win Go Fish every time unless you're cheating," Theo argues wisely, peering at Carolina skeptically.
"You can when everyone else is a loser," Carolina retorts.
On Carolina's face there is this soft, adoring smile that North has never really seen before. It's not the admiration or affection that he's watched her give himself or York in quiet distances. It's something a little less familiar – both to him and to her. Like she doesn't know how to further explore this swelling of pride she is getting from sitting between her two brothers.
It's a feeling that North can feel in his own bones – or felt, at least, before finally making that phone call to his sister.
Carolina's eyes lift from her family and their game to the door and her smile changes to something far more familiar as she looks at North and waves him in. "You've been gone all day. Where's York?"
"The house," North replies. "He's exuberant at the moment. Bouncing off walls and whatnot. So I figured I'd let him get dinner settled while I came to pick up you two."
"Sounds like a plan, and some good news," Carolina says, looking to Theo and smirking. "We've got some, too."
"Ellison's going to be in out-patient in a week! If he doesn't yell at more nurses and takes his medicine!" Theo announces excitedly.
"Right, like I said, nothing conclusive," Ellison deadpans. He then turns familiar green eyes onto North and squints some. "You're not the usual guy who hangs around my sister like a lost puppy."
"No," North admits. "I'm the other one."
"Right, you just snog her while you think I'm unconscious or dying," Ellison jokes.
"Ellison," Carolina snaps in a warning tone.
"What? I'm just saying, he's not been around much when I'm awake to evaluate him is all," Ellison remarks, with a shrug even as North walks further into the hospital room and makes his way to the side of the bed. "Yikes, you're a goddamn tree. No wonder Theo likes you – he can probably climb you like a jungle gym."
North smiles blandly back. "You can ask me about the weather up here, too," he says dryly.
"Nah, I'll change it up some. Come up with new material, just wait and see," Ellison says. "Seriously, though, I feel like I don't know you much."
"I get that a lot," North replies before offering out his hand. "But I'm trying to change that up some, too. I'm Nolan Dakota, everyone calls me North. Happy to be a part of your family, Ellison. I've been hearing great things about you lately."
"You've probably not been talking that much with my family then," Ellison says in the sort of self-depreciating tone that puts North in mind of York. He accepts North's hand though. "By the way, your guys' stupid army names are a little ridiculous."
"I think they'll suit us until we grow out of them," North acknowledges. "But you can call us by whatever you want once you move in with us."
North doesn't miss the way Carolina's eyebrows raise in surprise that he, of all people, brings up the idea.
"You guys aren't going to mind a freeloader with bipolar disorder?" Ellison asks bluntly, an untrusting glint in his look.
"Ellison," Carolina tries to snap but North just squeezes Ellison's hand.
"Everyone deserves help and a family – whether by chance or by blood, right?" North asks. "I have to get these two home, so rest easy, Ellison."
"Thanks," Ellison says, almost softly, leaning back in his pillows. There's a sort of peace over him that North hasn't seen before. "I… yeah, no. Just thanks. Thanks covers it for now."
Carolina is pleased but baffled as she grabs their coats and hands Theo's his. They kiss and say their goodbyes to their brother before heading toward the door. Then she looks at North, almost confused.
"What?" he asks with a small laugh.
"It's not like you to reach out to… well, anyone," she says.
"Maybe the times are changing, and who says a house can ever be too full," North jokes as they walk out of the room.
"A landlord," she says without hesitation.
"About that, York said he was going to call ours and let them know about the changes," North reports.
"That's nice of him," Carolina hums, suspicion beginning to grow in her voice.
A knowing smirk stays on North's face. "Something like that," he chuckles in return, helping the situation not at all.
The barking gives it away before the door even opens.
"You have got to be joking," Carolina says, completely aghast as she turns and stares at North.
He doesn't even have time to shrug before Theo bursts between them and throws the door open to meet York bear hugging the giant, fluffy mess he and North had picked out at the shelter – graying around the ears and nose with one eye and a snaggletooth.
It is the ugliest, slobberiest dog they could have picked earlier that morning. North's almost certain they'll regret it.
"Hold on boy, heel!" York chuckles with absolutely no success before they're both on the floor and the dog scrambles to tackle Theo and cover him with sniffs and affection.
Carolina is still staring at North.
"I cast my vote," he finally says with a shrug. "I think some responsibility will be good for the two of them anyway."
Carolina shakes her head and looks with North as York and Theo roll on the floor with the giant, old, previously unadoptable dog as it barks and shakes its tail so much it puts its hind legs off course as it circles around them.
"York better get that business of his up and running if we want to keep that thing fed," is all Carolina says before she walks forward to inspect their new mutt for herself.
Content, North smiles as he walks into their house and shuts the door behind him.
This isn't the sort of thing he used to picture when he imagined a family life, but honestly he can't think of a single thing he would want different at the moment.
For the first time in years, North takes the steps to bring himself closer to others for real.