DISCLAIMER:: does not belong to me

A/N:: i survived! okay, so here's chapter 12 as promised. i know it's late in the day, but i had to work all day and then go to the store with my little boy, who was just taught by his aunt (not from my side might i add) to say the word bitch. so here i'm pushing my 21 month old around target greatland while he says "hello bitch" to every cart that passes. oh joy, what a day! anyways, read and enjoy... and i promise ALL questions will be answered. be patient guys, despite popular belief, my motivation is not to torture you.

-/-

"You cannot be bothering her!"

Jane brushed her teeth as Maura was returning Kyle's call.

"I'm well aware of the consequences of my actions."

Jane rinsed her mouth out with mouthwash and spit it into the sink, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She leaned in the doorway connecting the bathroom to the bedroom. Maura was pacing in her lingerie, looking angrier than she had in the shower.

"I will deal with it when I get back to San Francisco. I wasn't taking your calls for a reason!"

There was a long pause and then Jane heard shouting coming from the phone.

Maura's eyes widened. "It's none of your business if I'm fucking her!" Maura ended the call and tossed the phone across the bed.

She sat down on the bed. "He makes me so angry sometimes with all his pushing. Sometimes it's as if he thinks he owns me."

"Is he jealous?"

Maura nodded. "I'm certain he is, but that's not really why he's been calling. I'm free to do whatever I wish; he's just upset that I am not choosing the path he would. But this isn't about him… it's about me. I did this for me. I came back to Boston for me."

Jane frowned. Where had she heard that before?

-/-

TWO YEARS AGO

"I got a job offer today." Jane looked up from the TV to see Maura looking tired, leaning in the doorway.

Jane frowned. "But you already have a job."

Maura took a deep breath. "I, um, think it would be best if I left Boston."

"I've been talking about a vacation all week, but you keep shooting me down. You've changed your mind?"

Maura shook her head. "I'm not talking about vacation Jane. I got offered a job in San Francisco, and I've decided to take it."

Jane nodded. It had been just over a month since Maura had refused her proposal. She'd been on edge ever since then and Jane knew that staying in Boston bothered her. She just hadn't been aware of how much. But she'd do anything for the ME, even if it meant leaving Boston. "Okay, I'll see if Cavanaugh will call and put in a good word for me. Ma will have a fit, but I'll talk her down and…"

"I'm going alone Jane."

Jane felt her lungs constrict and the slow steady plunge of dread take her heart in its hands and rip it apart. She tried desperately to hold herself together, but failed miserably.

Maura walked over to the couch and crouched in front of Jane. She took her hands. "Please, don't look like that."

Jane tried to breathe, but couldn't manage anything more than a shaky excuse for a breath. "Like what?"

"Like I'm breaking your heart."

"Good. I look like I feel."

Maura frowned. "I love you Jane."

At that Jane withdrew her hands. "How can you say that? You don't get to come in here and tell me you're going to leave me and then give some bullshit excuse about doing this because you love me."

"Jane, please, I don't…"

"You don't want Maur? Please, don't give me some line about not wanting to hurt me. You should of thought of that before deciding to move across the country!" Jane stood up abruptly, nearly knocking Maura over.

Maura stood and looked away. "You don't understand."

Jane grabbed her chin and turned her gaze back. "Then please… explain it to me!"

Maura searched her eyes and Jane did the same. There was something there In Maura's eyes, just below the surface.

Maura sighed. "This isn't just about you Jane! I am doing this for me!"

"You're doing this because you're a coward!"

She saw the anger wipe away all other emotions from Maura's face. "I'm doing this because I can't be with you anymore!"

Jane understood the implications of her statement perfectly, that Jane was the problem here. It knocked all fight from her body. She'd seen the change in Maura the past few weeks. Something had been eating away at her… maybe it really was the desire to move on and she really just had been afraid to hurt Jane… until now.

"I think it would be better if we just cut all ties Jane."

"Is that what you want?" Jane felt her voice crack.

"Yes."

That one word was so definite that Jane had no doubts that it was the truth.

"I need to go pack. I leave first thing in the morning."

Jane didn't object, just watched her go. She felt numb. She heard drawers opening and closing and the rustling of clothes. And then, if she listened really hard, she could almost hear the faint sound of Maura's tears.

-/-

"Jane?" Maura watched the detctive as she stared off blankly, completely lost in thought. "Jane!"

Jane finally focused on the ME. "Did you mean it?" Jane was still leaning in the doorway.

"That it's none of his business if I'm fucking you? Yes, I did."

Again Jane was struck by the differences between the woman Maura had once been and the woman she was now. "No, what you said the night you left."

Maura's face became instantly tired, exhaustion taking over as if some invisible floodgates had opened. "Which part?"

"I asked you if leaving was what you wanted to do… if you truly wanted to cut all ties with me. You said yes… did you mean it?"

"Yes." Maura frowned. "And no. It wasn't what I wanted… but it was what I needed."

"Was it really that bad, being here with me?"

Maura was at her side in an instant, her arms circling around the detective. "I love being here with you. I told you then, and I'll tell you now; I didn't leave because I didn't want to be with you. I left because I couldn't be with you, because it's better for you to be without me."

"But…"

Jane's cell rang again. This time it was Korsak. Jane debated whether to ignore the call, but Maura snatched the phone from her hand and answered.

"Jane Rizzoli's phone, Maura Isles speaking. Oh hey Vince." Maura listened for several moments a huge grin spreading across her face. "Wonderful. I'll tell Jane and we'll meet you at headquarters." She hung up the phone.

"What's up?"

"The boys caught a break in the case. The mailman who runs the route for the vacant house down in New York just caught the man who receives mail there."

"Are they holding him?"

Maura nodded. "There's something else."

"What?"

Maura beamed. "He had fresh blood on his clothes."