I'm Sorry Chapter 12: Winner At A Losing Game, a dark angel fanfic

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I still do not own them :'(

AN: Sorry for the long lack of updates, as I've told a few of you I graduated and it's been hectic at my house. I'm so excited to start normal life again. This chapter has been re-written a few times and I'm not sure if I like the finished work, but I'm posting it because it's been almost a month. Sorry! The song in it is called Winner at a Losing Game by Rascal Flatts, download and listen to it, it's pretty good (kinda sad, but it's fitting). I love you all though for still sticking with and reading, probably one or two chapter after this. Please review!!

AN2: Thanks so much to the people that reviewed last chapter: ShadowWolfDagger, vintage.soul494, miss-sci-fi, MythStar Black Dragon, Chica De Los Ojos Café, 452max, ConstantReader77, timetowaste247, Dark Roswellian Angel, and akka. Thank you all!!

Chapter Twelve: Winner at a Losing Game

Alec had walked out of her life for good two months ago. He'd packed his bags, left a letter and left leaving Max a wreck and not knowing what to do with herself.

Sure, Mole had accepted the responsibility of SIC, but Max wasn't herself. She no longer bitched when things went wrong, she didn't smile or take pride in anything that happened, she was simply there. She'd become a hollowed shell that had become robotic.

Everyone had noticed this change but no one had the guts to confront her about it. Terminal City was running fine, why did they care?

The summer was just beginning and the rain had finally cleared for a week in Seattle when headquarters surprised Max with a present.

Max's feet were propped up on the corner of her desk and her eyes roamed the piece of paper in front of her at lightning quick speed. Then she noticed that Mole had come in without making a sound.

She looked up and spoke softly, "Did you need something?"

Mole, normally a rough guy, spoke softly to Max, "Yeah, I…uh….I mean…we…have something for you." After saying this he shoved a brown manila folder towards her.

Max frowned and started to open it. That's when she was shocked to see a roundtrip plane ticket and money to cover expenses.

"Mole, what is this?"

Mole looked down towards his feet and shrugged his shoulders, "We all thought with all the hard work you've been doing that you deserved a vacation."

Max went to start when Mole jumped in, "…and we are not taking no for an answer."

Max's usually somber face lit into a small smile before softly saying thank you.

Meanwhile…

Alec had decided he was almost ready to go back. Well, as ready as he'd ever be. His small apartment was bare now, he'd emptied it of the few possessions he'd taken with him when he'd left Terminal City.

He closed the door and decided to make a pit stop before going back to his real world.

Crash was the same as it had been a year ago. The place was still a beat up bar, but it was still frequented by many of the same regulars. Most recognized him from the television interviews and stared out of the corner of their eyes at him. He smirked at them and sat down at the edge of the bar.

Max decided she was going to have a beer with Cindy before she left for Hawaii. She figured she might as well spend some of the money because they had given her way too much.

When she walked in she immediately spotted Cindy sitting at their old table. Cindy looked different now, she wasn't wearing such an outrageous outfit and her hair was no longer curly. It was pin straight and she was wearing less make up. I guess that's what happens when you settle down. Max smirked slightly at her own thoughts. Ever since she'd been with Susan she'd settled down.

Cindy had spotted her right away as well, and she'd risen a hand and waved her girl towards the table. Cindy noted her appearance, it wasn't the greatest but it was better than the last time she'd seen her. The poor girl had locked herself in TC since Logan's funeral.

Cindy stood when Max reached the table and pulled her into a heartfelt hug.

After they pulled away Max smiled at her, "Thanks, I really needed that."

"Girl, you know Original Cindy is always there for her sister."

Max's faced brightened a little bit at this but slowly died as she sat at the table.

"So…Hawaii? What made you decide to go there?" Cindy finally asked.

"Well, it wasn't really much of my decision. The TC crew decided I needed some time off, and they wouldn't take no for an answer. So, apparently I'm off to Hawaii." Max said shrugging her shoulders.

Alec had been counting. He'd been hit on a total of 17 times and he'd gotten at least 30 looks from beautiful women. Sadly, they still didn't affect him. He'd see a brunette out of the corner of his eye and his head would whiplash to see if it was her. It never was though. So he'd turn back towards the bar and continue his drinking.

He'd been sitting there for a while when a familiar song had come on. It was an oldie, but he understood it perfectly.

Max laughed at Cindy's story and saw that the pitcher was empty and grabbed it by the handle. She heard a slow song come on and recognized it.

She stood at the bar and listened to the sad song.

Baby, look here at me
Have you ever seen me this way

I've been fumblin' for words
Through the tears and the hurt and the pain

I'm gonna lay it all out
On the line tonight

And I think that it's time
To tell this uphill fight goodbye

Have ever had to love someone
That just don't feel the same
Tryin' to make somebody care for you
The way I do
Is like tryin' to catch the rain
And if love is really forever
I'm a winner at a losin' game

Max reached for the pitcher and grabbed it, thanking the bartender and tipping him generously, it was after all not her money.

She walked down the bar towards her table when she accidently brushed against someone.

I know that baby, you tried
To find me somewhere inside of you

But you know you can't lie
Girl, you can't hide the truth

Sometimes two hearts
Just can't dance to the same beat
So I'll pack up my things
And I'll take what remains of me

When Alec had turned around to see who had brushed up against him he'd dropped his scotch on the counter and shattered the glass. He stared into the same brown eyes that had been haunting him forever.

I know that I'll never be the man that you need or love
Yeah, baby it's killin' me to stand here and see
I'm not what you've been dreamin' of

Max had barely been able to hold the pitcher when she realized who she had bumped into. She hadn't been able to mutter the words she had meant to say.

Oh, oh, if love is really forever
I'm a winner at a losin' game
Ooo, I'm tired of losing
Oh, oh, oh-

The song ended and Max regained use of her mouth. Clearing her throat quietly she finally spoke, "I'm sorry."

Alec just continued staring before he realized that she'd said something. "It's okay."

The tension in the air was rough and awkward and Max hated awkward. "So, how have you been?" She said attempting at a neutral conversation.

"I've been good I guess. And yourself?"

"I've been fine." She responded briskly. "I better get back to Cindy, she's waiting for me." She said turning to walk away, cursing under her breath at how stupid she was.

"Wait," Alec said before he could stop himself. Reminder to self, get a filter to place between brain and mouth. He thought angrily. "I'm sorry I left."

Max turned around slowly, "It's okay. It was my fault anyways."

Alec stared at her and spoke slowly, "I was thinking of coming back to TC, do you think you could use any help?"

"I don't know, you'll have to take it up with Mole. He's in charge right now."

Alec's face became muddled confusion, "What?"

"I'm leaving this afternoon." For two weeks. She said silently to herself.

Alec stood up and walked closer to her, "What, you are just abandoning TC? How could you? They need you."

Max's lips turned into a small smile, "I'm not leaving for good. I'm going on vacation. They wouldn't take no for an answer. I'm coming back in a few weeks."

Alec's face began to turn red with embarrassment. "Oh."

Max chuckled softly before she remembered their current situation.

That's how Cindy found them a minute later. Standing there staring at their own feet and trying to think of something smart to say to the other.

"Alec! How've you been I've missed you!" Cindy said pulling Alec into an unexpected hug.

Alec smiled back at her before retorting, "I've been around."

Cindy smiled and pulled back standing by Max's side. "I was wondering where you got off to."

"Yeah, I ran into Alec. Sorry, I hope the beer isn't warm." Max said holding it up higher.

Cindy laughed silently, oh man is this awkward. "I'm sure it's fine. Alec, why don't you join us?" Cindy asked, and before Max could responded to cut him off he'd answered.

"I don't know." He replied hesitantly.

Cindy grabbed his arm and dragged him back to the table with Max in tow, "I'm not taking no for an answer."

When she sat down she grinned wickedly.

Max was the first one to speak, "I'm sorry for what I did to you Alec. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Alec looked up a bit surprised at her soft tone, "Yeah, well it happened. Big deal."

Max sighed in frustration, "God, you are so bull-headed. I try to apologize to you and you come back with 'Big deal'?"

"Look Max, I'm not going to pretend that it didn't happen and I'm not going to forget it. But, there's nothing I can do about it."

Max's hands splayed over the table in anger, "Are you that stupid?"

Now it was Alec's time to get angry, "Am I that stupid? As I seem to recall, you are the one that pushed a real person away to love a dead one."

Max's eyes clouded over, and Cindy was long forgotten, "I needed space. I killed a man for god's sakes. What'd you expect, for me to come running into your arms like nothing had happen?"

"No, but I didn't expect you to push me out of your life. I thought we'd become friends at least. But I was obviously mistaken.

Max calmed down and stared at her hands, "I didn't mean to push you away."

"Well you did. You made it clear that he was more important."

"That's not what I intended. I just needed to sort through everything and figure out what was real."

"What are you talking about?" Alec asked in confusion.

"Alec, I know this is coming too late, but I love you."