A/N: Next chapter up. Not sure I like how I wrote this, or the following chapter but I felt I owed you all something. We are getting into the meat of Quinn's past and what she's been going through both in the present and past. Hope you enjoy it. Please review. Disclaimer: I do not own GLEE or any of its characters. GLEE belongs to its creators and FOX.
Chapter 12:
It was difficult photographing the soldiers as they performed their exercises. All day she had moved around the base. Her first stop was the common yard where troops marched and did daily routing workouts. After that it had been the obstacle course, and now she was at the shooting range and it was killing her. She never like guns, the violence they were used to cause, but what was worse than being around guns was that it was the special forces training today. The 2nd Unit of Colon's Rangers was home.
"You alright?" Santana asked next to her. Quinn nodded. Noah and Santana had been fabulous all day. They carried her equipment with no complaint and provided hilarious commentary to keep her mind off of Colon. When a poor young private tripped in the obstacle coarse Noah had said the man's flailing looked like Finn dancing.
"Yeah, lets just get this done and go home."
"Sure thing Cap." Quinn giggled at her old nickname. She hadn't been called Cap in a very long time.
By the end of the day Quinn's nerves were completely worn. The ringing of sniper shot after sniper shot never left her ears even after leaving the base. Each echo propelled her mind to Colon. Imagining him running, dodging a hail storm of bullets, of lying on the sandy desert floor his blood seeping into the hard ground turning the granules of sand into rubies.
As she pulled into her driveway she knew she was done that one more reminder of Colon and the hell he was likely going through would put her over the edge. Throw her back into the pit that only Colon had ever been able to retrieve her from.
"I need to lay down," she said to Santana and Noah. She didn't miss the worried glances they directed in each other's direction.
"Sure, I'll make dinner tonight. How about my famous fajitas?"
"Sounds great, I missed your fajitas." Quinn forced a smile.
Opening the door she headed upstairs only to be blocked by her two rambunctious sons. "Mama we went to the park." Evan jumped up and down.
"Up mama," demanded Sean his little arms raised towards her. Quinn squeezed her eyes shut. She loved her sons so much, but she couldn't do this right now. She couldn't be their happy fun mother at the moment. She needed to gather herself before she broke and then was useless to them.
"Mama?" Sean's little voice called her back.
"Honey, why don't you go see if Aunt Santana and Aunt Brittany will show you the ducks in the back pond?"
"Really?" Evan was excited, Quinn rarely let them walk to the pond, fearing they'd fall in and drown.
"Yes but stay next to them and don't go to close to the water's edge."
The two skipped their way to find Brittany and Santana while Quinn dragged herself upstairs flopping on her bed she pulled her legs to her chest in a fetal position, warding off all the bad memories and the horrifying mysterious unknown future. "Colon" she cried " I need you."
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Brit bit her lip as she peaked in Quinn's room to see her friend asleep curled into a ball on Colon's side of the bed. Her fear for her old friend growing with each passing minute, while at the pond Santana had informed her about the photo shoot. Brittany was furious her friend would put herself through something like that. Brit knew Quinn's triggers just as well as Quinn and Colon; high stress levels and uncontrollable situations, like crowds, being two of the worst and most common. Brit needed Quinn to relax, she just didn't know how, not in this situation. When Quinn began panicking in crowded malls all she had to do was take Quinn to the bathroom or outside and Quinn would calm. If a film was to violent she switched the channel. This Brit couldn't take Quinn somewhere else, she couldn't flip the station. No matter where Quinn went what she did, Colon would still be missing.
"She alright?" Santana glanced at the blonde from behind Brittany.
"I don't know, I …she hasn't been like this in years. I'm getting nervous."
Santana hugged her from behind and Brittany melted into her arms.
"It's Quinn she'll be fine. It's a lot to handle and it's only been a few days. Give her time."
Brittany shook her head, "you don't know what it was like back then. She broke San, so quickly. so badly, she…" Brittany paused it wasn't her place to tell everyone what had happened after high school but she needed San to understand how serious all of this could get. Colon was Quinn's rock. Quinn only felt strong when Colon was around. "She's not as strong as everyone thought. She breaks easily, she's just good at piecing the pieces back together." Brittany turned to Santana, "When a vase breaks you can glue al the shards together but it is never truly whole again. Less force is needed to shatter the vase again. Quinn is a broken vase. It took a large about of force to break it the first time but now the lightest touch can cause the loose bonds to break. If she doesn't improve by tomorrow I am going to have to call Andrew."
"Andrew?"
"Her therapist since college, he is so good with her, He understands her in ways I can't even, nor Colon. He'll help. Whenever she gets too bad, he comes and they talk and he knocks her out of the cocoon. Than Colon and I help her climb back to us."
Santana sagged against the wall, "Was it really that bad? I mean it seemed like nothing could keep Q down in high school. Sure she'd get mopey and there was that punk stage but we were all over the place than."
"It was like a tension wire or parachute cord. So much repeated force must go in before it snaps, its near impossible, but it will snap. Quinn just snapped, that extra weight that extra tug it was all that was needed. Her cord broke and she hurtled to the ground."
"I get it, will she ever tell us?" Santana sounded wounded and bitter but Brittany would address that later.
"Probably, soon maybe, but first we need to snap her out of her funk before it's too late."
Santana hopped up, "Sure but let her sleep, we'll wake her for dinner."
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Finn had never had Santana's fajitas before but they were awesome. Dinner had been a surprisingly pleasant affair. Everyone had feared Quinn's mood when she woke up from her nap. When she walked into the kitchen she instantly grabbed Sean under his arms and swung him around before blowing a raspberry on his tummy. The toddler had shrieked in laughter. The room instantly brightened and glowed when Even ran into join his mother in the horse play. Now they all rested in the den watching Little Mermaid, Sean's choice. It was relaxing and calm. Quinn seemed content with her two boys resting against her, her fingers running through their blonde locks slowly putting them to sleep.
By the end of the film it was 7 o'clock and time for bed. Finn and Puck decided to carry the passed out boys to bed to save Quinn some energy. Neither boy stirred on the journey upstairs or being laid to bed.
The doorbell rang while Finn was leaving Evan's room. When he entered the den he saw two military men sitting across from Quinn who was stone faced.
"We wanted to keep you informed of our efforts to relocate and rescue your husband," said the broad officer.
"What did you find?" Quinn's tone startled Finn. He hadn't heard her so detached, emotionless since her punk phase at the beginning of senior year.
"While we can't go into detail we can tell you that we found two of your husband's Ranger Team members dead."
Finn's heart sunk, two of Colon's teammates were dead. What did that mean for Colon?
"Colon?" Quinn stared ahead her eyes daring the soldiers to tell her.
"Missing still, we believe he has been taken prisoner, along with four others. It is likely the men who were killed during the ambush."
"Do you know who has him? Who they are?"
"Not at this time. But believe we are doing all we can to find you husband and the others."
"Who was killed?" Quinn said evenly her emotions indiscernible. The smaller solider the young one glanced at his superior who indicated to answer. "Private Jenkins and Corporal Winston."
Finn watched Quinn's eyes shut tight. She remained still a moment before standing, the soldiers joining her. "Thank you for informing me."
"If you need anything please contact us." The senior officer said politely.
"I will. Let me show you the door."
Quinn didn't even glance at Finn as she led the men out. Finn's intuition was right to follow because as soon as the men were gone Quinn collapsed. Only Finn's strong arms preventing her from slamming her head on the wood floor.
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