On the Wings of an Angel

by mygoldeneyedangel

Sequel to Fearless. AH Bella helped Edward conquer his inner monster. Now that they've graduated from Forks High School, what does the world hold for them? Have they truly conquered all of the monsters?

12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the characters.

A/N: This chapter ran away from me a little bit. It didn't follow the outline I had made at all, but I think I like how it turned out. Enjoy! :o)

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Chapter Eleven

I glared at RJ and felt a rage like I had never felt before crash over me. Never had I had this intense desire to drive my fists into another human being. Not even Mike Newton, who pushed me over and over again brought me this close to the edge of violence.

But Mike Newton had targeted me. This was completely different. No one hurt my girl.

I felt my hands clenching into fists as red began to blur the edges of my vision. I felt Bella's hands on my shoulders, but I couldn't tell if she was trying to hold me back or push me forward.

"What the hell did you think were you doing?" I asked again, through my teeth. I took a step forward. RJ's hands remained raised, his eyes wide.

"I don't know, man," he said. "I would never hurt Bella, never force her."

"But you did." I barely recognized my own voice as I took another step towards him.

"She's the best friend I've ever had," RJ said, his voice ringing with desperation, as if he realized that friendship had just crashed down around him.

I lifted my fist, anger still pumping through me and I pictured ramming it into his face, over and over again. RJ didn't move, didn't do anything to defend himself. And in my mind, my face turned into James and I saw myself cowering, my small hands raised to protect my face.

"Shit," I whispered as I lowered my fist.

"Edward, RJ!" I looked over my shoulder and saw Matt, looking harried, running towards us. "What's going on?"

"I kissed Bella," RJ said, defiance in his tone. I looked up at him sharply.

Bella's arms wrapped around my waist and I felt her cheek pressing against my back. I rested my hands on her forearms. "Against her wishes," I added.

Matt shook his head and looked at RJ. "How much?"

RJ looked at the sky. "Are you my mother?"

"No," Matt said. "Your mom is a drunk and in jail. How much?" he repeated. When RJ stayed quiet, Matt flung his arms out. "Damn it RJ. You know you aren't supposed to drink! I thought after the last time you would have learned your lesson. I'm telling Mom and Dad this time, just so you know. We'll see if they are so loving and supportive when they learn that their precious foster child is following in the path of his mother."

RJ rolled his eyes. "I'm eighteen now, it doesn't matter. Besides, why would they believe you?'

"I'm their son," Matt said forcefully.

A laugh sputtered out of RJ. "Like that really matters. You know Dad considers me more of a son than you. He's been prepping me for years to take over his business."

Matt was silent, his lips moving as if he wanted to say something back, but no words came. Finally his shoulders slumped in defeat. "You know you can't handle alcohol," he finally said quietly. "I only came to this party to make sure you stayed out of trouble."

I stared at Matt as if I'd never seen him before. There was so much more to my roommate than I had realized. I thought back to earlier that evening, when I had first mentioned the party to him. I remembered his reaction, the face that he had made when I mentioned that RJ was going. It wasn't necessarily disgust for RJ, but more for that fact that he needed to go to the party to be the watch dog. I felt a sudden rush of sympathy for Matt.

I felt Bella move around me, sliding until she was standing in front of me, her arms still around my waist. "Are you okay?" I whispered into her ear. Though I had no intention of ever letting RJ near Bella again, my anger had dissipated as I listened to the two men argue.

"Bella?" RJ said, his voice now quiet and repentant. She turned, but when I started to lower my arms, she held fast, keeping my arms locked around her. "I didn't mean anything. Like Matt said, I can't hold alcohol--,"

"Then you shouldn't drink," I said, my voice harsh.

"—but I guess I just care about you," he continued as if he hadn't heard me. "And it was so quiet and nice out here. I thought maybe, just maybe you wouldn't mind."

"RJ, I have a boyfriend," Bella said softly, but her tone was firm. "A boyfriend I love with everything I am. I don't want anyone else. I don't want to kiss anyone else. Ever."

RJ nodded. "I know. Of course I know, but he hasn't been around so I thought…" He shrugged his shoulders as his head went down in defeat.

"He has my heart no matter where he is," Bella answered. I smiled at her words and wished we were alone so I could kiss her.

"Can we still be friends?" RJ asked. He looked up and I saw his eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

I stiffened, but before I could say anything, Bella answered. "I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean, I guess you would still want to hang out as a group, but I don't think we can be good friends, at least not right now."

I saw something flash in RJ's eyes, but before I could figure out what it was, it was gone. He nodded. "That makes sense."

"Bella," I said now. "I think we should go."

"I think so too," she said. "We should find Sam and Kevin first."

"We should leave too," Matt said. He turned, obviously expecting RJ to follow. He did and as he trailed behind Matt my eyes narrowed. Not once did he stumble or even waver.

For someone who wasn't supposed to hold his alcohol, he sure was steady on his feet.

"Edward?" Bella said from beside me. "Come on."

We went inside and found Samantha and Kevin making out while they moved to the beat of the music. "At least they are having a good night," Bella said as she watched.

"Yeah. Honey, I'm so sorry."

"Not yet. Let's get out of here first," Bella said, looking up at me.

I nodded and she stepped forward, bravely interrupting Kevin and Sam. I watched as she said a few words. They both nodded and looked over at me. I waved and then Bella was back in my arms. We walked out the front porch and headed back to the dorms.

We walked in silence for the first block and then I could take no more.

"I'm sorry," I repeated

"Edward," she said at the exact same time. She shook her head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I told you to trust me and you did. You didn't know what he was going to do."

"I shouldn't have left you alone with him."

She shook her head sadly. "You did exactly what I wanted."

"When I first--," I stopped and coughed roughly. "When I first walked back outside and saw him kissing you, I thought," I stopped and looked over her shoulder. "I thought you were kissing him back."

"Edward," Bella whispered. "I would never do that to you."

"When I saw you were fighting against him, I almost lost it. I wanted to punch him over and over again."

"I would have helped you," Bella said, a small smile touching her lips.

"But I couldn't." I looked back at her. "Does that make me less of a man?"

Soft laughter shook her shoulders. "No sweetheart, not at all. I know why. Besides, you shoved him away and held me. But there is something else you can do for me."

"Anything," I whispered.

"Kiss me," she said so softly I almost couldn't hear her. "Kiss me and make me forget the feel of him, the taste, the awful--,"

I cut her words off as my lips touched hers. I kissed her deeply, trying to erase even the memory of that unwanted kiss.

Her hands burrowed into my hair, holding tightly as she pressed into me. Her mouth moved against mine, hot and caressing.

Eventually, she dragged her lips away and buried her face in my neck. Her hands did not release their hold in my hair. I held her gently, the soft breeze whispering through her hair. After a while, she loosened her hold, her hands slipping until they held my waist loosely, her cheek leaned against my chest. She sighed and I felt the heat of her breath through the cotton of my shirt. "Are you okay?" I asked her quietly.

"Hmm hmm," she breathed again. "I would never give this up. Your arms, they just feel so right. The safest place in the world is right here."

I smiled and kissed her hair. "You're my safe place too," I murmured.

"I suppose we should keep walking, if we want to make it to the dorms anytime in the near future," Bella sighed again and moved away. I let my hands trail down her arms and then laced my fingers through hers. We walked silently through night, reaching the campus quickly. When we arrived at the dorms, I dropped Bella back at her room. Not surprising, Samantha had yet to return. "I'm glad she's having a good night," Bella said.

"Yeah, she and Kevin seemed to be getting along well," I commented.

Bella nodded, then tilted her head at me. "It's kind of crazy, and I know it doesn't go along with her reaction earlier, but I almost think that Samantha was hoping Ryan would break up with her. I think she's been fighting her attraction to Kevin for a long time."

"I agree," I said. "You could just tell, the way the two of them migrated towards each other all the time. Plus long distance relationships are tough."

Bella smiled at me and touched my cheek. "We could do it, I'd do anything to be yours." A frown touched her face. "Honey, do you feel okay?"

"Yeah," I smiled at her. "Just tired, why?"

"You feel kind of warm." She turned her hand and touched my forehead with the outside of her hand. "Really warm, actually."

"It's probably just from walking and then sun and stuff. I'm fine."

Bella didn't look assured and she kissed me quickly. "I want you to do something for me, Edward," she said softly.

I rolled my eyes. "Babe, you know I'd do anything for you."

She nodded. "I want you to go upstairs, change and go to bed. Don't do anything else. No reading, no studying, no practicing on your keyboard. Nothing. And then, I'm going to come get your tomorrow morning and you will still be in bed, do you understand?"

I laughed softly. "Yes Mom."

"I'm serious. Tomorrow is Saturday, we are going to take a day completely off."

"I have baseball practice tomorrow," I said, biting my lip at her frown.

"Can't you miss it?"

"Bella…"

"I know, I know you can't." She touched my forehead once again and I saw the worry flooding into her eyes. "Okay, we'll deal with that tomorrow. Right now, you need to go to bed." She held my shoulders, turned me to face the stair case and gave me a slight push in that direction. "Bed Edward, I'm serious."

"Bella, I'm fine," I said, turning back to her.

"Bed!" she said firmly, pointing her finger in the direction of the stairs.

"Okay, okay," I said holding my hands up. I walked towards the stairs and put my hand on the rail.

"And Edward?"

I turned to face her.

"I love you."

I smiled. "Love you too sweetheart." She kissed her fingers and blew to send the kiss in my direction. "Good night, love." I continued up the stairs and made my way to my room. I was a bit relieved to find it empty. I didn't feel like dealing with Matt right now. I grabbed my toiletries and pajamas and went to the bathroom.

Honestly, I didn't have any problem following Bella's orders. I was dead tired and wanted nothing more than to lay on my bed and sleep. As I brushed my teeth, I was hit by a wave of dizziness. I held on to the sink with both hands and squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for it to pass. When it finally did, I opened my eyes and looked at myself in the mirror. A faint sheen of sweat shone on my forehead. I finished brushing my teeth and then threw some cool water on my face.

I changed quickly and went back to my room. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

The night was filled with strange images marching through my unconscious. RJ stood off to the side watching Bella as she cowered in front of him. I was held captive by James, who wielded knives and whips and kept me locked in a corner, unable to save my love from harm. I could only watch helplessly as RJ approached her, his hands tangling in her hair as he forced his lips against hers. And through it all, I could hear a strange, high pitched laughter.

My eyes flew open and I blinked several times against the bright sunlight that was pouring into the room. Squinting through my eye lashes, I saw Bella sitting at my desk, her feet propped up on the hard surface. In her hands, she held a book. She turned to me as I reached up to rub my eye. "Good morning honey," she said smiling as she put the book down on my desk. The book flopped down, its much loved spine offering no support.

Wuthering Heights, of course. I knew it was the copy I had bought her on our first date.

"Good morning," I said as I sat up. A wave of dizziness hit and again I closed my eyes to fight it off.

"How are you feeling this morning?" she asked, worry evident in her voice. "I really hadn't expected you to still be sleeping when I came in this morning. It's not like you."

I looked at the clock and saw it was just past nine in the morning. I don't think I have ever slept that late. I stretched my hands over my head, trying to loosen the aches I felt in my back and shoulders. "I guess my body needed sleep." I pulled back the covers and slid out of bed. "Have you eaten breakfast?" I asked.

Bella shook her head and watched me silently.

I went to my closet to get clothes for the day. I grabbed jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. Then I turned to Bella. "I'll be right back, okay?"

She nodded, again staying silent. But I felt her eyes on me as I quietly made my way out of the room. I meant to shower as quickly as I could, but the heat of the water felt so good as it streamed over my sore muscles that I stood in the hot spray longer than I intended. When I finally pulled myself out of the shower, I finished getting dressed quickly, trying to ignore the slight pounding I felt behind my eyes.

I finger-combed my hair and then hurried out of the bathroom, knowing that Bella was probably hungry. When I made it back to my room, I found her reading again, this time on my neatly made bed. She put the book down as I walked in. I put away my things and then went to envelope her in a hug. She gasped. "Honey, you are so hot."

"Why thank you," I said laughing softly. I kissed her forehead gently. "Come on." I tugged on her hand and led her out of the room.

Matt slept on, dead to the world.

"That's not what I meant," Bella said when we were out in the hallway. "You feel hot."

I shrugged. "I took a hot shower. Don't worry, Bella love, I'm fine. I was just tired and now that I've slept and taken a shower, I feel refreshed. Just get me some caffeine and I'll be good as new."

Bella frowned but allowed me to lead her down the stairs. I wasn't lying to her, precisely. I just didn't have time to be sick and I didn't want her to worry. A headache wasn't going to kill me, anyway.

"What time did Samantha come back?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure," Bella answered. "I fell asleep pretty fast. But she was there when I woke up this morning. She left before I did, saying she was going to go have breakfast with Kevin. She said she'd meet me at the field."

I nodded. "I hope they aren't moving too fast," I commented. For a girl who had just broken up from a two year relationship, it seemed a bit quick to already be dating.

But Bella shook her head. "Like you said last night, this has been building for a while."

"True." We walked into the cafeteria and I headed to the omelet station. While I waited for my eggs, Bella went off to make a waffle. After we had our food, we found a table away from the crowd. I took a sip of my coffee and sighed as the hot liquid made its way down my throat. I hoped the caffeine would hit my brain and turn down the intensity of the headache that was building.

"I was thinking," Bella said, covering my hand with hers. She pierced a piece of waffle with her free hand. "That we could spend the day together, just the two of us. I don't really feel like being around anyone, not after what happened last night."

"I like that idea." I ate a bite of omelet and tried to think of my next words. "I, um, have a chemistry project that I need to work on."

"Edward," Bella sighed, rubbing my hand with her thumb.

I swallowed. "It's just we also have the presentation for our humanities class and we are going to work on that tomorrow. And I'm meeting with my group from music to go over our parts for ensemble tomorrow evening. This project is due on Monday--,"

"Edward," Bella said again, cutting off my words. "Honey, have you ever noticed that you ramble when you get nervous?"

I nodded, poking my eggs with my fork. I watched the cheese ooze out of the omelet. "I want to spend time with you Bella, I swear to you. It's just there is so much that needs to be done. All the time," I finished softly.

Her hand never stopped moving along mine but she didn't say anything until I looked up at her. When I met her brown eyes, she finally spoke. "I know." She closed her eyes. "I know. Just…," she paused and opened her eyes. "Just let me help you, let me take care of you."

"Okay."

"Then I think you should skip practice today."

I smiled slightly. "Sweetie, you know I can't. We aren't allowed to just miss practice."

"Even if you are sick?"

"Sure," I shrugged my shoulders. "But I'm not sick enough to miss."

"So you admit you are sick."

"Just a headache."

Bella rolled her eyes as she stood up, her empty plate in her hands. "You are impossible."

I joined her and grabbed my own plate. "But you still love me."

She laughed and pushed on my shoulder. "You know I do."

We dumped our plates and then I put my arm around her shoulders. "How about we go find a place in the sun to sit and soak in some vitamin D while we wait for practice to start."

"Sounds perfect," Bella answered.

We spend a perfect hour lying in the grass, walking the clouds march along in the sky. Bella decided one of the clouds looked like a rabbit, so we spent our time trying to find the shapes in the clouds. Laughter ensued and it felt so good to just lie with Bella in my arms and laugh. We had been at school for almost two months, but it felt like years since I had felt so free.

Unfortunately, time doesn't stop, no matter how badly you wish it would and the hour past quickly, as time tends to when you aren't paying attention. I stood up and pulled Bella up next to me.

"How long is practice today?" Bella asked as we headed off in the direction of the field.

"Two hours," I said. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Don't be ridiculous, I love watching you play. You are one sexy ball player."

I had to say goodbye to Bella when we reached the locker room. I stood watching her for a few seconds as she ran up the bleachers and went to take her a seat next to Samantha. From where I stood, I could almost hear Samantha's cry of delight when she saw Bella. The girls embraced and then I watched Sam's hands fly as she launched into a story that I'm sure involved Kevin.

Smiling, I walked into the locker room and went to my locker. For a brief minute I sat and gave into the pain. I pressed a hand to my forehead, trying to press down on the pounding. My skin felt clammy and I tried to tell myself it was only because of the heat from the sun. I took a deep breath and stood up to get dressed.

"Hey man," Kevin said from behind me. I yanked my shirt down quickly and turned towards him.

"Hi Kev," I answered. I tucked my red practice jersey into the white baseball pants, then sat down to pull on my red socks and cleats. "Have fun last night?"

"Hell yes," he answered as he pulled off his own shirt. "Sammy is an amazing girl."

I eyed him as took out his clean practice jersey.

"Don't look at me like that!" he laughed. "We just talked and danced."

"And kissed."

"Well yes, but nothing else, I promise you that. This morning she told me about Ryan. I think, more than anything she just needs a friend right now. She has to sort out some stuff."

"Makes sense." I grabbed my mitt and Kevin and I headed out to the field.

"I heard that there was a bit of a ruckus last night," Kevin said as we walked onto the field. "I ran into RJ this morning."

I bristled at his name. "Yeah," I said. "There was. I'd prefer for him not to hang around."

"He said he tried to kiss Bella." He threw the ball at me and I caught it.

"He did," I snapped the ball back to him and it landed in his hand with a loud pop.

Kevin smiled and shook his hand slightly. He hurled the ball back. "He's an idiot. Anyone with half a brain can see how devoted you and Bella are to each other. She adores you."

"Obviously RJ is lacking in the brain department." I shot the ball back.

"I told Sam about it and she is pissed off too. I think it'll be awhile before he is welcomed back into our group."

"If ever."

"If ever," Kevin agreed.

"Okay men," Coach called out. "Bring it in."

Kevin and I tossed our mitts and the ball to the side and ran to centerfield. There, our team made a circle and we worked our way through the normal stretching routine. I crossed my ankles and bent over to touch my toes. As I did, the pounding in my head seemed to intensify. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on our team captain calling out the numbers. When he hit ten, I stood up and fought off yet another wave of dizziness.

After the stretching, coach announced that this would be a conditioning practice. First up was a two mile run. "Follow me," Coach said and he turned to make his way out of the stadium. The team followed and he set a solid pace. Slower than I usually ran, but it did seem to push my teammates around me. My breathing stayed relaxed as those around me began to pant.

When we returned to the field, we lined up to run sprints from the infield to the fence. For these I let myself go and flew across the grass. As I reached the end of my last sprint, I felt my stomach begin to churn. I hit the end line and knew more of my teammates had taken off. The dizziness returned and I pressed a hand to forehead, trying to suppress the now almost blinding pain.

"Are you okay, man?" I heard Kevin ask from beside me.

"Yeah," I managed. "Just need some water, I think." I turned to head towards the dugout when my legs turned to jelly. I slid down to one knee.

"Hey," Kevin said and then I felt his arms around my shoulders. "What's going on Edward?"

I heard the clanging as racing feet sped across the aluminum bleachers. Only seconds later, I felt Bella's cool hands on my face. "Sit down, honey," she said.

"I'm fine," I tried to say.

"You are very far away from fine. Now sit." With that, I let her guide me until I was sitting in the grass. I put my face between my knees, embarrassment flooding through me as I realized the rest of my team had to be gathering around me. "God, baby you are burning," Bella whispered as she felt my cheeks and forehead. "We need to get you back to your room, you need to rest."

I knew she was right, I knew that pushing myself to finish practice was a bad idea. I was sick and I couldn't deny it any longer. "Okay," I said, defeated.

With Bella's help I stood. Once I was on my feet, I saw my coach in front of me, a grave look on his face. "I'm sorry," I said immediately and I tried to push away from Bella, prepared to stay.

"Edward," Coach said, shaking his head at me. "Don't worry about missing practice. Just focus on getting better."

As Bella led me back to the locker room and then back to the dorm, I felt as if I was walking through a very dense fog. My head pounded, my brain feeling as if it wanted to explode from my brain. One second I felt as if I was burning alive and then the next I was shivering with cold.

I know Bella talked to me as we walked. I know her grip around my waist never loosened. And I know I leaned on her more than I should have. I tried several times to straighten and walk under my own power, but each time I became aware of myself, I was leaning on her harder.

Finally, after what felt like hours upon hours of walking, we made it back to the dorm.

"Just up the stairs sweetheart," I heard Bella say soothingly into my ear.

I nodded and tried to focus on putting on foot in front of the other. I reached out for the rail, taking some of my weight off of her. At last, we stood on the third floor and only a few more steps took us to my room.

My room, thankfully, was empty. Bella led me to my bed and I collapsed on to it. I felt her hands on my feet as she took off my shoes and socks. I tried to sit up to help her, but as soon as I was sitting, the room began to spin in rapid circles around me. I felt Bella's hands on my shoulders, pressing me back down to the pillow.

My head hit the pillow and I couldn't fight off the exhaustion any longer. I plunged into the blessed darkness and let it take me.

"Hello Edward." I turned towards the voice that haunted my dreams and saw James standing next to me. "I've been waiting for my revenge for a very long time." He sneered and I frowned.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. "You are dead."

"Not really," James said. "I'm alive in you. You've kept my memory alive."

I closed my eyes and tried to picture him running out of the room, leaving forever.

"Not going to work, boy. I'm already here, you can't force me out with your mind games." He began to walk in a circle around me and I turned with him, keeping him in front of me. "You haven't really changed, have you Edward? You've got everyone fooled that you have made this amazing recovery, that you survived me without any lasting damage."

"I know there is damage," I said softly. "Just like I know that you have no power over me anymore. I'm not a child anymore, you can't hurt me."

He laughed menacingly. "There are ways, things aren't always what they seem."

"What are you talking about?"

Suddenly, a brilliant flame burst out from behind him. The heat from the fire caused drops of sweat to gather on my forehead and I squinted to see him through the smoke. For the first time, I felt fear begin to build within me. I turned, staring through the smoke, trying to find him. A blurry figure appeared in front of me. "Mom?" I whispered.

"Hello, Edward." My mom took a step forward, her features becoming more distinct as she moved out of the smoke. Her gaze was intense as she looked at me. "You look good. Much better than you did when I was alive. You were such a skinny, ragged looking thing."

"The Cullens have taken good care of me." My words were soft, but strong.

She took another step forward and I wanted to step back, but the fire still burned behind me. Her hand lifted and struck me across the cheek, her hand ice cold compared the fire. "You don't deserve what they have given you. You failed at the one job that was given to you. I heard your father. He told you to protect me. And you failed," she hissed.

"I was a child," I said, louder this time. "Your child, Mom. You were supposed to protect me. Why didn't you leave James when he started hitting me? Why didn't you stop him from hurting me? How could you let it go on for so long?" All the questions I had asked myself throughout the past two years came pouring out of me.

Hysterical laughter filled the smoky air. "Edward," she sighed when the laughter faded. "I always thought you were smarter than this. Did you know," she tilted her head as she looked at me. "That your father was my entire world? I loved him more than anyone or anything on this planet."

I nodded. "He loved you too."

More laughter poured from her and I watched silently as she bent at the waist, the laughter almost knocking her over. "You have no idea," she finally got out. "I was his whole world, too. He adored me, treated me like a princess. I never expected someone like Edward Masen to love me, and then there he was." She sighed and I watched as she twisted her wedding ring around her finger. In some part of my mind I wondered how she had gotten it back. Alive, she hadn't worn it since James entered our world.

"I was happy," she continued. "And didn't need anything else in my life. I had my man and I didn't need anything else."

Slowly, I realized where this was going and the realization felt like a knife piercing through my stomach. "You didn't want me," I managed.

She shook her head. "Not really. But my Edward did, oh he was so excited when I told him that I was pregnant. He went on and on about it, telling everyone that his Lizzie was pregnant and how we were going to be the perfect family." She sighed loudly. "What was I supposed to do? When you were born, my Edward fell in love with you instantly. Suddenly, everything became about you and I was no longer his entire world."

I stared at my mother. I had never realized that her animosity for me went so deep. I had always thought her feelings changed after my dad died. But they hadn't changed, she had only allowed them to show. It was no wonder she never stopped James. "You thought I deserved it," I said finally. "Every time James hit me, you thought I deserved it."

My mom nodded. A smile that could only be described as evil spread over her face. "You don't honestly think I was that clumsy, do you?"

My breath got stuck in my throat as I thought of all the times she had fallen or knocked something over. All the countless beatings I had taken because of it.

"You are nothing but a waste of space," she said. "You wasted my last years with my Edward. And if you hadn't been there, we probably wouldn't have even been going to that damn barbeque anyway."

The lump in throat expanded, choking me as the smoke curled around her. I put my hands on my thighs. Her words continued to fall, crashing against me like a whip.

"You don't deserve what you have now. The parents, the siblings, the girl, the love. None of it. It doesn't matter how hard you push yourself to be perfect. Nothing you do can change what you are. No matter how hard you try to be perfect."

"You're wrong," I said, trying desperately to speak with confidence. I tried to focus my thoughts on Carlisle and Esme. On Bella, but their faces wouldn't come. "You're wrong," I shouted again.

"Things aren't always the way they seem." Her voice echoed throughout the smoke filled space and without warning, the flames burst even higher. I fell to my knees and tried to protect myself from the fierce heat.

I wanted out of this place, but I couldn't seem to make it disappear. I knew, in the back of my mind that I was dreaming and I started screaming at myself to wake up. "Please," I yelled. "Edward, wake up!"

"You won't, not just yet."

I looked up and saw RJ in front of me. "What are you doing here?"

The flames surrounding me seemed to die down a bit and I breathed a sigh of relief.

RJ shrugged. "Things aren't always what they seem."

"What does that mean?" I yelled, frustrated beyond anything I had felt before. "Everyone keeps saying that! Why?"

He shrugged again. "I guess because it's true."

"Who are you?" I asked, looking at him carefully.

"You'll have to ask me."

"I am asking you."

RJ crossed his arms in front of him. "No, I mean you'll have to ask the real me. I can't tell you anything."

"Well that's helpful."

He smiled. "Not really, I know. But you'll find out, all in due time." The flames around us died off even more and I felt a cool breeze move around me. "But for now, it's time for you to wake up."

He disappeared and I blinked.

When I opened my eyes, it was dark in my room. I turned my head and saw the faint outline of a large bowl sitting on my desk. The digital clock told me it was just after three in the morning. I sighed and shifted on my bed. When I did, I became aware of another person on the bed with me. My eyes searched the darkness and then I smiled when I saw Bella curled up in a ball at the foot of my bed.

Her eyes popped open and she shot up. "Edward?" she whispered. She crawled up the bed until she could put her hands on my face. "Oh honey," she cried softly.

"Bella?" I croaked and I winced at how dry my throat felt. Immediately she reached for a glass of water and I drank greedily.

"How do you feel?" she asked tenderly, her hand stroking through my hair.

"Okay," I managed to say softly.

"I was so worried," her words choked up her throat and she coughed to clear it. I saw tears sparkling in her eyes. It was then that I noticed just how tired and run down she looked. Her hair fell around her shoulders, the normal curls limp and dull. Bruiselike shadows marked her eyes and were so obvious I could see then in the dark. "The doctor just said it was exhaustion and you needed to sleep your way through it, but I was so scared."

"A doctor came here?"

Bella nodded, her hand never stopping its caressing motion. "When you fever spiked, I called the school doctor and he came to look at you. He also talked to your coach and music professor, so don't worry about that."

I frowned. "Why would I? It's Saturday. Well, almost Sunday, but still."

Bella shook her head. "It's actually almost Tuesday."

"Tuesday?" I had been asleep for nearly three days?

"Yeah, the doctor said it was exhaustion. Edward," she waited until I was looking at her and I saw the tears once again shining in her eyes. "You ran yourself down. Baby, you can't do that. You have to sleep, to take care of yourself."

I pulled Bella down until I could hold her against me. I buried my face in her shoulder. I could her chest jerking as she cried. "Don't cry, Bella love, please don't cry."

Her hands dug into her shoulders. "I love you so much," she whispered. "I couldn't bear to see you so sick."

"I love you too." A lump grew in my throat as I realized what I had just put her through. I ran my hand slowly up and down her back. "I'll take better care of myself, I promise."

"Listen to me," she backed away and put her hands on my cheeks, staring into my eyes. "You are an incredible person. You are talented, caring and loyal. And," her tears overflowed again. "You are driven to make other people happy. Why are you on the baseball team?" she asked out of nowhere.

"Because Carlisle and Emmett--,"

"Why are you double majoring in music and biology?"

"Because Esme and Carlisle--,"

"Why," she asked, interrupting me yet again. "Do you start your homework so late on some nights?"

"Because you--,"

"Don't you see sweetheart?"

I frowned again. "I know what you are saying, but you don't understand why. Carlisle and Esme gave me a second chance at life, I can't throw it away. I have to do everything I can to make them proud."

"Oh honey," Bella whispered. "Carlisle and Esme would be proud of you no matter what you do. They don't expect you to run yourself ragged like this. Baby, you don't have to be perfect."

With that one word, the nightmare came crashing back. I pulled Bella back to me and held on for all I was worth.

"What's wrong?" her frantic voice was muffled against my neck. "You're shaking, Edward, what's wrong?" Her arms came around my shoulders, holding me tight. "Please tell me," she cried softly.

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A/N: Once again I have to thank you SO SO SO much for all the reviews. I know I have been TERRIBLE at getting back to you guys and I promise I will do better. I appreciate each and every review and do in fact squeal when a new one pops up. Your positive words mean so much to me.

Both Fearless AND The Other Side of Fearless (which I have NOT forgotten about) are nominated for the Twilight Indie Awards. I never expected that and am super excited! Voting starts July 8 and goes through July 12.

Thank you again for reading and don't forget to review!