Disclaimer: Mashima-sensei owns Fairy Tail!
Warnings: Language, Shounen-ai, Potential OOC-ness
Jellal didn't know what he was expecting when he walked through his front door, but it definitely wasn't this. Every inch of his body froze as his heart started to pound painfully in his chest; his eyes lingering on every shard of glass, ceramic and wood that littered the entrance way. His hands immediately turned clammy as fear rushed through his veins and faint memories that he had recently started recollecting flashed across his mind's eye. He would never tell Erza, but he could remember more of what he did during the time he was using than she thought he did. If she truly knew half of the things he did, he was sure that she would leave him in a heartbeat.
No matter how much she tried to hide it, he was able to see the fear and pain that lingered in her eyes. Even though she has said that she had forgiven him for his past transgressions, he was certain that she still held him responsible for what happened to Simon, Sho, Milliana, and Wally. After all if he didn't get in that car that night, Simon would still be alive and the others wouldn't have had to leave Magnolia. As he looked at the mess around him, some part of him couldn't help but think that they had come back to finish what they had failed to accomplish all that time ago.
He shook that thought process straight out of his head; he couldn't afford to think that way. Anyways, Lyon mentioned that Lucy had shown up at Gray's house that morning, so that could only mean that something happened for her to leave here and head over there. He gulped before sliding off his shoes and making his way through the main hallway. He slowly pulled his jacket off his body and draped it over the crook of his elbow.
"Erza?" He called out, "Love, are you here?"
His mouth all but dropped open as he entered their once clean kitchen and saw the table in more than fifty pieces and some of the appliances scattered like a jigsaw puzzle all over the tiled floor. He frowned darkly and followed the trail of destruction into the bedroom where he found his red head huddled against the wall with her red hair covering her face like a masquerading curtain.
"Erza?" He repeated solemnly, "Are you okay?"
The ex-council president gazed up at him,
"Perfect, just perfect."
Jellal flinched at the dead tone in her voice and leaned down towards her. He ran the back of his hand across her cheekbone soothingly and she tilted her face into the warmth that his hand had provided. He sighed sadly and glared up at the ceiling; if he ever saw Lucy again, he was going to show her why she should've stayed in Edolas. She was ruining Gray's life, Natsu's life and now she has done something to Erza; she was going to pay.
"What happened?" He whispered, "What did Lucy say to you?"
Erza sighed before resting her head on her knee caps,
"She tried to convince me that everything that she did to Gray and Natsu was for their own good; even went as far as to say that I would've done the same thing if the situation had been different."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but she simply frowned and gave him a look that clearly told him to drop it. He really didn't like seeing her this way; it was like a knife had been plunged into his chest and twisted grotesquely into his heart. Just yesterday, she was smiling and happy and now it seemed like a distant memory. Of course he would never say that he wished Natsu never came back home; if anything it made the red head happier having the ex-delinquent back in her life.
"So," Erza tore him out of his thoughts; her lips curling into a faint smirk, "Did you really get called in or did you feed me to the wolves on purpose?"
Jellal paled,
"I know I shouldn't have left you alone, but you can fend for yourself. Plus, I wanted to go to Gray's house to warn him about Lucy being here…then I got a call on the way there."
"Really?" She raised her eyebrow curiously, "What happened?"
He felt his eye twitch faintly as a small amount of guilt ravaged his system; he really needed to learn to watch what he said around her. Erza had a particular ability to tell if someone was lying, especially if that someone was him. Many would say that Jellal was a very accomplished liar which would be derived from his innate intuitive sense that he exploited via his present job or from when he was a teenager and was still using. In either case, Erza was onto him the moment he tried to lie; it was like she was a walking talking polygraph.
"Just an issue at the Trimens' café…"
Erza sighed in exasperation,
"What did Natsu do this time?"
Jellal chuckled somewhat nervously and rubbed the back of his head. Erza huffed and pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead; he hoped that Natsu wouldn't turn up any time soon…he may have finished med school, but the kid wasn't too bright when it came to his health and wellbeing.
"Nothing too major," He admitted softly, "He just had a run in with Loke."
Her eyes widened and a hysteric laugh escaped her lips,
"Loke's back in Magnolia now too? Since when did this turn into a stupid soap opera; honestly this is just getting ridiculous!"
The blunette rolled his eyes as if to say 'tell me about it' before collapsing against the wall beside her and wrapped his arm around her. Erza leaned her head on his firm shoulder and closed her eyes in exhaustion; it wasn't even noon yet and she was ready to go to bed. Jellal trailed his fingers up her sides in a form of comfort while being wary of the ticklish places; he really didn't want to risk a concussion.
"Jellal," She whispered after minutes of silence, "Do…do you ever blame me for what happened to you?"
If he had had water in his mouth at that moment, he was positive that it would come spewing out faster than that of a geyser. His head snapped towards her incredulously; his eyes wide and disbelieving. He opened his mouth in an attempt to form some sort of coherent sentence only to learn that he was completely unable to. Erza was watching him with worried eyes as he struggled to answer her; he had never been more unprepared in his life and he, as a perfectionist, did not like being unprepared.
"N-No!" He sputtered, "Where would you get that idea?!"
Erza looked away from him and rubbed her biceps,
"She just said something that…"
Jellal halted her words by placing his hands on either side of her face; his thumbs running along her cheekbones as a couple tears escaped her lashes. That's the one thing that he hated the most; he hated to see Erza cry. Gray was the same way and often protected her during the time that he lost himself and was unable to do so. He regretted the fact that he was never properly able to thank him for it, but Gray insisted that the only thanks he needed was for the blunette to keep Erza happy so that she would never shed a tear over him again…
It looks like he failed.
"Erza," He started, "The way I was back then, there was nothing you could've done to save me; hell, I didn't even deserve the help that you tried to give me. You are the most important person in my life and I wouldn't have become the person I am without you're undying love and guilt-wrenching punishments."
An almost silent laugh escaped her at his last words,
"Sometimes I just wonder if I did enough for you; sometimes, I can't help but think that if I was there for you when he died, things might have been different."
Jellal pressed his lips to her temple,
"You probably don't want to hear this now Erza, but I know for a fact that even if you were emotionally stable enough to help me after what happened to Grandpa Rob, nothing would've stopped me from starting drugs."
"But…"
He placed his hand over her mouth and stared at her sternly. He gazed into her brown eyes resolutely for what seemed like hours before she finally nodded and gently peeled his hand from her face. Before placing his hand back at his side, she left a soft kiss on his palm. She tightened her grip on that hand and used her free one to caress the side of his face.
"Then you should now that I don't blame you either," She smiled softly, "For anything."
He honestly didn't know what he did to deserve her.
FTFTFTFT
Gray couldn't stop himself from glaring at the woman standing in his entrance way. It had been a little over ten years since she had even set foot inside his house and that was a time that he never wanted to remember. However, her mere presence was enough to bring every single emotion that destroyed him that day: pain, hatred, anger, sadness, and heartbreak. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as the memories of that fateful day bombarded his senses…
An eighteen year old Gray was lying on the couch with his legs pulled up to his chest. Ur's woolen blanket was pulled under his chin and his eyelids at half-mast as sleep continued to pull on his mind. He really hated missing school, but some days his blood sugar was just too low for his insulin to be useful. He burrowed his face into the pillow he managed to drag from his room and sighed loudly; once Natsu learned about this, the pinkette was sure to murder him. He always got so twitchy when he had a bad day.
And that was the exact reason why he couldn't tell Natsu about what the doctor said at his most recent appointment. He told Natsu and the others that everything was okay and all that, but that was in actuality a complete lie. His muscles tensed a sharp pain shot through his nerves; this wasn't something that he was looking forward to. He pushed everything out of his mind as sleep started to tug at his consciousness; he could feel himself slipping into oblivion when a sharp knock broke his sleepy shroud.
Due to the fact that whoever was at the door didn't come barging in with flames on his heels meant that he was saved from Natsu's laugh; similar to the fact that there were no screaming citizens alerting him to Erza's frightening arrival. Gray shakily pushed himself into a sitting position before slowly getting to his feet; wincing when his legs and feet protested. He practically stumbled towards the door and opened it; he was surprised to find Lucy standing before him with a folder of work tucked under her arm.
"Hi Gray!" She smiled, "We were worried when you didn't come to school today; Natsu almost ditched so he could hunt you down."
The raven sweatdropped and fought back a flinch as he stepped to the side and let the blonde haired girl inside. He still didn't know how he felt about Lucy; despite them being friends since freshman year, he couldn't help but resent her somewhat. He knew that a big part of it had nothing to do with her as a person; it was more or less the fact that she was the one who held Natsu's love…something that he would never have.
"He didn't get beat up by Erza too badly did he?" He teased; a weak smile pulling at his lips.
"No," She laughed, "Luckily, the rest of us saved him this time."
He led her into the dining room and she threw the folder onto the table. Judging by the size of it, he didn't have too much homework to do tonight…another typical slacking day at Fairy Tail High. In the back of his mind, he found it odd that Lucy was the one who was dropping off his assignments; typically it was Natsu and if it wasn't him, then it was Lyon (that is of course if he was feeling generous enough). Their relationship may be on the mend right now, but they weren't picture perfect; not even close.
"How are you feeling Gray?"
The raven snapped out of his thoughts and raised an eyebrow at the blonde,
"What?"
"It's just…" She bit her lip, "I saw you a track practice yesterday."
Gray froze and his eyes widened; his hands immediately fisting against his sweatpants. He could feel his legs shaking under his weight and every now and again a dull pain would shoot up them. He tried to look normal as he pulled one of his dining chairs out from under the table and sat down; he was acutely aware of Lucy watching his every move like a hawk.
"Really?" He tried to smile.
"Your doctor's appointment a couple weeks ago," She looked him the eye, "It didn't go as smoothly as you said it did, did it?"
He knew that if he broke eye contact with her, she would have her answer without him even having to open his mouth; but he just couldn't do it. He shifted his gaze to the floor and frowned; tears poked at the corner of his eyes, but he wouldn't let himself cry.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Lucy sighed,
"You can't lie to me Gray; I saw what happened to you out on the track and you stayed at home today…you hate missing school."
"I had an off day," He hissed, "I have them every now and again; you know that."
The blonde tapped her foot impatiently and placed her hands on her hips; he didn't want to say it, but she looked exactly like Erza in that moment. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing and quite honestly, he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out.
"So you wouldn't freak out if I decided to call up Natsu right now and tell him about last night."
Gray paled,
"You wouldn't dare."
Lucy only smirked at him and pulled out her pink cellphone; her many key chains jingling as she typed in a number. He was about to call her bluff when he heard the ringing through the speaker; he even considered saying that she could be calling anyone when he heard Natsu's smooth voice. Without thinking, Gray dove out of the chair and grabbed onto her cell; not even looking where it landed when he threw it into the living room.
"What are you hiding Gray?" She demanded, "And why is it so important that Natsu doesn't know about it?"
Gray felt light headed from getting up too fast, but her words echoed through his head like a gong. He backed away from her and sat back down on the chair; it had miraculously not tipped over due to his actions. He buried his face in his palms and massaged his scalp rhythmically; so much for keeping it a secret.
"I'm sick, okay?" He muttered, "My diabetes evolved into something called diabetic neuropathy; basically, my diabetes is starting to fry my nerves."
Her mouth dropped open,
"Are you…are you going to…"
"No." He stated bluntly, "It's completely manageable, but it will consume most of my life."
Lucy grabbed onto the chair across from Gray and sat down in it herself. He could feel her eyes dissecting him as his world continued to crumble around him. His diabetes sure was a pain in his ass; it was responsible for a lot of the hardships in his life and now he was going to have to stop all his sports as not to damage his nerves even more.
"How are you going to tell the others?" She whispered.
Gray's eyes narrowed,
"What?"
She crossed her arms and stared at him evenly. He didn't know what it was, but he could tell something was off about her all of a sudden. It was like her entire aura had changed drastically; it was as if she was hiding something of her own.
"Gray, you won't be able to hide this from them for long; they're not stupid no matter how they act sometimes." She insisted, "What do you think Natsu is going to do once he finds out about this?"
The raven closed his eyes tiredly and massaged his temples,
"That's why he isn't going to find out Lucy; it'd ruin his life if he found out about this!"
"I know."
Gray's eyes slowly opened at her dark tone; his eyebrows furrowed at the change. Her brown eyes shone with determination and her mouth was set in a firm line. He was about to ask her what was wrong, only to have her talk before he had the chance.
"I know how he'd act Gray; everyone knows how he would act." She laughed, "I don't know he doesn't notice things like that; he is so oblivious sometimes that it's almost painful to watch."
"Lucy…"
"You love him don't you." She whispered, "You love Natsu more than you should."
Gray glared at her defensively,
"What the hell are you going on about?"
The blonde laughed again,
"Don't treat me like I'm stupid; you know exactly what I'm talking about! I'm not blind you know; I see the way you look at him and I see the way that he looks at you. It's just so sad that you don't notice it yourselves."
The raven blinked and couldn't stop his mouth from dropping open. There was no way that what she was saying was true. Natsu was not gay; Lisanna and Lucy were both evidence of that, but the blonde sitting in front of him seemed so positive. His heart pounded in his chest heavily as a faint hope started to course through him. He wanted to believe it, he really did, but couldn't risk it; he couldn't risk losing his best friend.
"I have a proposition for you." She interrupted his thoughts.
He scoffed; his frosty, deep blue eyes blazing,
"And what's that?"
Lucy thread her fingers together with a smile on her face,
"I won't tell Natsu or the others about the neuropathy if you break all ties with Natsu."
Gray slammed his hands on the table loudly,
"Are you fucking kidding me?! There's no way I can do that; Natsu and I have been best friends for years, he won't just let me walk away from him. There's absolutely no way I can walk away from him; I need him!"
The raven wasn't aware of the tears that started to fall down his cheeks until one splashed onto his polished table. He hastily wiped at his eyes; a failed effort to gather the remaining pieces of his pride. He looked at Lucy through his dark bangs when he felt a light pressure on the top of his head.
"If you truly love him," She whispered, "Set him free; you don't want to hold him back Gray. You of all people know that he's capable of so much more."
…
And that's why he had to let Natsu go.
"Gray," Lucy's voice brought him back to reality, "Are you going to let me in or not?"
The raven glared at her for a moment before stepping out of the doorway so that she could enter. When she far enough away from the door, he slammed it shut; she looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to move them from the entrance way, but remained rooted by the door. He folded his arms across his chest and stared down at her from behind the safety of his bangs.
"What are you doing here Lucy?"
The blonde laughed cheerfully,
"Funny, that's exactly what Erza said when I stopped by for a visit this morning."
Gray didn't respond, though he did find it odd that the first person that Lucy visited when she arrived to Magnolia was Erza of all people. His initial thought was that she would see Natsu first and then avoid Erza; mainly because the red head was essential Natsu's older sister and ex-girlfriends usually tried to stay away from them…after all, they could be scary. Erza, of course, was the most terrifying big sister anyone could possibly have.
"Listen," Gray began, "If that's all you came here to say, then maybe you should leave."
"No." She smiled, "Uh, I actually wanted to tell you about Natsu."
The raven rolled his eyes,
"Okay, here's the thing; I don't care that Natsu is back in Magnolia…I just want him to leave me and my sons alone."
Despite the nonchalance that his voice and body exhibited, a sharp pain shot through his chest. Normally he would associate it with his neuropathy, but this time he knew it was because he denied his love for Natsu. Even though the pinkette had hurt him, he would always love him; after all, it wasn't completely his fault.
"Sons?" She asked in confusion, "Since when do you have two sons; I thought you and Juvia only had Dallin."
Gray once again refused to answer; it wasn't any of her business any way. The raven reached for his doorknob so that he could escort his intruder out of the house when her exasperated sigh made him freeze. He turned his head enough to see her with her arms folded across her chest, but one of her arms was vertical allowing one of her hands to press against her forehead.
"I don't understand how he chose you over me."
He sputtered,
"Excuse me?"
She laughed at him darkly,
"Honestly, for someone who claims to love him and apparently still loves him, you act a little too much like a whore; don't you think?"
His fists clenched at his side as his fathomable anger reared its head. Every fibre in his being wanted him to punch the selfish little bitch in the face. She could say whatever she wanted about him; including any name that came to her pretty little blonde head, but as soon as she involved his sons it became a free for all.
"Funny you should say that," Gray smiled toothily, "Apparently whores have the innate ability to sense out other whores."
Lucy blinked at him owlishly for a moment before her face turned bright red with anger. He could tell that she wanted to say something; but there was no way in hell that he was going to give her the chance. He straightened himself so that he stood at his full height; making him a full head and a half taller than the petite girl. Though he had to commend her for not backing down; at least she had one thing going for her.
"You don't know anything about my predicament," He hissed, "You'd be stupid if you thought that you did. Yes, I made a mistake with Juvia and every day I have to live with the fact that my drunk actions resulted in taking away her life. But, despite all that, I was able to find happiness because of Dallin; I can't imagine my life without his smile. As for my youngest son, you know nothing about the circumstance about his birth; I love his mother, but not in the way that she would deserve and she knew that.
"So you listen here Lucy Heartfilia, it's because of you that I made distance my friend after Natsu spent so long trying to save me from that darkness. It's because of you that I was left behind and it was because of you that I was caught in that tangled web of lies. There was so many times that I wanted to tell him the truth, but you were always in my ear telling me that I would ruin his life and he would resent me for it; that was the one thing I could never live with.
"I've been spending most of my time running and hiding from something that I didn't have to. Because guess what Lucy, I actually have to thank you for something. Whatever you did to Natsu to send him back here to Magnolia, I thank you for it… I thank you for freeing him and for helping him realize that he loves me."
Gray barely moved when a hand struck him across the cheek. He smirked at the shaking blonde who was standing in front of him. It felt like he was able to breathe for the first time in years; he wanted laugh, dance, sing and smile. Most of all, he actually wanted to find Natsu and give him another chance even if part of him wanted to do it just to get back at Lucy. However, he couldn't do that to Natsu; if he did, he wouldn't be better than the woman standing before him.
"You'll regret this Gray." She hissed as she made her way towards the door.
"No…" He whispered, "The only thing I regret is listening to you ten years ago."
He couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face as the door slammed shut.
TBC
Hey minna! Sorry for the late update again; I've been struggling with this story a bit lately and I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter. I don't think the confrontation between Lucy and Gray was any good, but I hope it satisfies you guys; there probably will be more of it in the future! I'm waiting on your lovely reviews! :)
-sktrgrl
PS. Okay the newest chapter of Fairy Tail had me in tears and anxiety the entire time! I honestly thought he was going to do Ice Shell (but he didn't so yay!) And then we find out that Silver who said he was Deliora was actually Silver all along… though a major WTF moment I'm curious as to see what Gray decides to do in the next chapter!
Answers to your reviews :)
Eleven of you lovely reviewers decided to grace me with your presence! :3 You guys are amazing! A huge thank you to the people who followed and favourited as well; you're just as awesome.
LindyLinn: Here's the conversation…I really hope it's alright; it was more of a flashback than anything tho so I'm sorry about that! :)
Luvscookie: Sorry! I had to end it there, but you got the confrontation this chapter! Too bad Natsu didn't show up, but he'll probably make his reappearance soon and with a special surprise. ;)
Mgluvsbl25: I just might make them into a couple, but I don't know yet; there was a pretty good response to it, so we'll have to see! :) I don't have Instagram sadly lol sorry!
DreamscomeTRUEEE: Yay! I'm so happy that you love their relationship! :) we should be getting into some fluff soon!
AsDarknessSpreads: Here's what happened…not a lot…sorry :( I'm happy you like Ultear in this story as well as the other characters! And Gray only has the one illness, it just takes a huge impact on the nervous, autonomic and peripheral systems of the body…it sure creates a lot of problems tho doesn't it lol
Guest: You're right he doesn't, but who knows… the odds might be in his favour now :)
Scarlet Huntress: You find this realistic? really? like, really really? Wow…that was my goal, but I wasn't sure if I was doing it properly lol! Thank you! Hopefully the confrontation between Lucy and Gray didn't disappoint you too much!
Yaoifornow: Lol, I love how you don't support LoLy and yet you still say you're for it as long as it breaks Lucy's horrid, b*tchy spirit! You're actually amazing and you make me smile like all the time! :P So happy that you like Ultear's (slightly condescending) nudging towards Natsu's feelings towards Gray.
Ren: Don't worry; here's the confrontation! And I'm so happy that you find the LoLy interesting!
Strife134: Lol I might not expand on that relationship; I don't know if it will go very far, but someone commented about it and it kinda ignited in my brain :P Here's a new chapter! Hope you enjoy it!
AUehara: I know right; so many twists and turns it hard to keep track of :( honestly it's the biggest flaw in this story…as long as you like it tho, I guess it's okay! Here's the confrontation for you; I think it kind of sucks, but well…we'll see! The only thing I can do is improve!