Chapter 12

I leaned against Randy's door and collapsed to the floor sobbing my eyes out. A few minutes later the door opened and Randy was quickly by my side pulling me into his arms. "What happened?"

"He lied."

"He lied?"

"He is still with Kristen."

He kissed my forehead, "It'll be okay, come on, come inside. Pick up your stuff."

I grabbed my things and slowly got to my feet with his help and went through the doorway as he closed the door. He sat me on the edge of the bed and sat down next to me. He pulled me close to him and held me to him tightly. "How could he do this to me? How could he do this knowing how much I cared about him?"

"I'm sorry, Juls."

I looked up at him, "At least I didn't fuck him. Though you would never know it by me carrying my undergarments," I sad as I threw them on the floor. "Can we lie in bed? I just want you to hold me."

"Anything you want, dear." He said as we lay down and he pulled me close to him. I stopped crying feeling comfortable in his arms. I cared about Randy greatly but he wasn't what I wanted but at the same time he always protected me. He always made me feel safe. In his arms no one could touch or harm me. In a sense he made everything better but it wasn't going to last and I knew it. I could feel it in my bones. Something was wrong, something wasn't right.

I turned around and looked up at him. "What aren't you telling me?"

"We'll talk about it tomorrow," he said wiping my tears off my cheek.

"Please tell me now?" I saw sadness in his eyes. "Samantha?"

"We talked tonight," he said his eyes filling with tears.

"You're getting back together?" I inquired.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have said yes to going home if I had known that Ted would do this to you tonight," he said as a tear ran down his cheek.

"Don't you cry, Randy, you've been telling me all along that you two might reconcile. There was never any reason to doubt that Ted and I wouldn't be together. I'm not mad at you. You have always been honest with me. That is why I love you. That is why you are my best friend. I don't know where I would be without you. You've held my hand through so much."

"I do love you though," he said. "I know that you think you are in love with Ted but I know that you aren't. You care about him a lot. You've been too blind to see how I really felt about you. Part of me is so in love with you," he said as more tears fell, "it was so hard to let you go with him tonight and if I had known that this would happen than I never would of let you go."

"Randy, this was my choice not yours. I needed to do this to know where I belonged. Part of me will always belong with you. You have kept me safe and protected me through so much. I will forever be indebted to you. You truly are one of my best friends."

He pulled me close to him as he cried, "I'm sorry, Juls."

I said nothing as we both cried. "I love you," I whispered into his ear.

"I love you, too." He said without hesitation.

"Are you sure that is what you want to do? You can stay here with me." He said sadly.

"It is for the best that I go. We both know you and I can't lie next to each other and keep our hands to ourselves."

He smiled, "That is very true."

"I'll see you later today," I said as I smiled back, picking up my bag I walked from the room down the hall once again. I made my way around the corner to find the room I was looking for and knocked twice waiting for an answer.

The light turned on as the door opened. Cody blinked repeatedly at me, "Juls, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to share your bed tonight." I asked walking into the room.

"Wait, I thought you were with Ted tonight." He asked confused and scratching his head.

"Well, I was," I said quietly. "Ted lied."

"Ted what?"

I looked into his eyes, "he lied. He never left Kristen. He just wanted me too and thought he could keep her a secret."

He threw his arms around me, "oh my god, are you okay."

"I wasn't at first, but Randy calmed me down a bit."

"Did he tell you that him and Samantha are getting back together?" he asked.

"Yes, he did." I sighed. "It made me think about some things. Randy said a few things to me that actually made sense." I paused. "I don't think I am in love with Ted."

"Seriously?"

"When I went with Ted tonight all I thought about was you and Randy."

"You thought about me?"

I nodded, "If I loved Ted why was I thinking about the two of you? I care about Randy because he keeps me safe but with you it is different."

He sat down on the bed, "Different? Why would you think about me when you could think about Ted or Randy?"

"Don't you see, Codes? It's you."

"I always knew Ted would hurt you." He said.

"You were trying to tell me that the first night we got together, weren't you?" I asked.

"Yes, but I didn't want to come out and say it because I knew it would push you away."

"You are a very smart man, Mr. Rhodes. You were giving me another option without me even knowing it. You never treated me like I wasn't yours. You treated me like we were together."

"I know. I wanted you to see that if someone loved you, they would show you that they loved you." He said.

I sat next to him and smiled at him, "So, you do love me?"

"Ah, Juli, I am so in love with you. I even let it go that you were sleeping with Randy."

I looked at him shocked. "You knew?"

He laughed, "of course I did but I also knew that you responded to me differently than him."

"I don't know if I'm in love with you," I said.

He cupped my cheek in his hand. "I'm fine with baby steps," he said with a smile, "Just tell me that you will be mine."

I smiled back, "I wouldn't be anyone else's." I said as he kissed me softly on the lips.