Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Rumiko Takahashi, not I. Some characters are from my imagination, but not many. Do not use this story without my permission.
Kalu, the vixen princess of the Jurassic planet on which our story takes place, was freaking out in a very royal way. The arrival of the Neptunian scout ship was only the first in what would be a never-ending stream of pain for her. She had the entire planet's security stepped up to maximum alert and for sentry patrols to take place in every region until the ship left. She had also confined herself to her room and placed every elite guard on duty outside to guard her.
"Is anyone here to see me yet?" Kalu asked a guard outside from over a two-way intercom. The guard leaned over and pressed a red button on his end to talk.
"No ma'am, nothing out of the ordinary" he noted. Some small dinosaurs ran through the hallway and around a corner, but that was it. "Just the usual stuff…"
"Good" Kalu said with relief from her safe house. "Just remember, if a girl in a kimono comes asking for me, send her away…or kill her! Yeah! Kill her!" the intercom crackled off and the guard turned snickering to his partner.
"Can you believe this nonsense?" he asked the other guard who was also laughing lightly.
"I know" he chuckled, "she's always like this when someone brings up Queen Oyuki". Both guards shared a good chuckle at their liege's expense while she cowered inside a fully insulated room.
"Curse you, Oyuki…" hissed the girl. All her painful childhood memories came back to her with a vengeance. The first time she had ever met that troublesome three in their middle-school phys-ed class.
"Okay!" Shouted the robotic squid/P.E. teacher to its students. "Today, we'll play tag to warm up! Since Miss Lum is an actual Oni, she'll be it first!" A young Lum stood in line between her friends Benten, Ran and Oyuki with a grimace. It was always the same with this class.
"B-b-but," Lum stuttered, "I'm always it first!"
"Well," her teacher chided amusingly, "you should've thought of that before you were born an Oni, eh?" he blew out a whistling sound from his digital mouth as everyone lined up across the field against Lum. She frowned and waited for the pain to start. Just as the teacher was ready to blow another whistled sound, a large metal pod crash landed on top of him.
"Woah!" Benten shouted. "What the heck is that?" The pod split open and hissed out a large stream of mist. The inner portion of the pod was lined with expensive looking velvet and cushions. Out from the pod stepped several archaicly armored guards, who each knelt down lower than the other to form a sort of staircase. Kalu, a young girl with hot-pink hair and a lovely lace apperal stepped down on the backs of her servants onto the fresh, artificial grass field.
"Hello, peasant people!" she shouted with a raised hand. "Be not alarmed! I am princess Kalu, come to attend you school as a fellow common learner of knowledge. Please do not mind my royal status and go about treating me as you would anyone else." She kept her eyes closed and her smile dainty, expecting a line to form or a clamor of intrigue to break out. Nothing but silence. She opened one eye and darted it around to see the bored and somewhat entertained expressions of the students around her.
"Okay" Benten started with a bazooka in hand. "New kids are it with Lum. Go to the other side of the field." Kalu blinked confusedly, but proceeded over anyway. She was now on Lum's team and stared down all the angry and psychotically eager faces that each seemed more lethal than the next. The green-haired girl beside her gave a sigh slumpe dher shoulders.
"Cheer up," Kalu said quietly, "for I am a master tactician! We can outwit those brutes if you just follow my orders, okay?" Lum just blinked curiously. The squid-bot-teacher struggled out from the rubble and blew a very weak whistle to signal the start. All at once, the front line of quadruped lizards and other bizarre aliens (plus Benten) went charging forward shouting. Lum jumped up and stayed up, out of the way, while she looked down at the new girl.
"Okay," Kalu started, unaware that she was now alone, "here's the--" she reached over for Lum's shoulder, which she couldn't find, hoping to throw her out in front and run away herself. Instead, Kalu was tackled ruthlessly by her peers while Lum watched from above.
"She never had a chance…" Lum said disappointedly.
"Princess Kalu!" a voice shouted over the intercom. Kalu snapped out of her painful dream world and answered.
"What is it? What's wrong?" She spat out. "WHO'S THERE!?"
"No one, ma'am" the guard responded, "We were just wondering if we could go on break, please." Kalu fidgeted and twitched slightly before answering.
"Sure, but keep an eye out." She rethought her latest orders to the troops and came up with an addendum to give them. "If anyone's wearing a tiger-stripe pattern I want them brought directly to me." The guards, of course, had departed upon hearing a 'yes', but she was still confident that they would do the job. She re-dialed some number on the touch pad beside the speaker and pressed a blue button.
Luko, the elegant knight in service to Princess Kalu, rode atop a moving tank that tore through the forest slowly. His wrist started to beep, a signal that his princess was in some great distress of some kind. He took his very finely dressed arm out with a white, operatic mask in hand. He placed the mask on his face, which covered all but his eyes and his mouth below his draping bangs, and pressed his wrist-communicator.
"Hello" Luko said into his wrist. "Beautiful General Luko speaking."
"CUT THE BULL, LUKO! We both know you aren't beautiful!" Kalu screamed through her end. Luko chuckled and ran his hand over his hair to push back his bangs and smiled. "Listen! I need you and your minions to be on the look out for Oyuki's ships! A scouting vessel was spotted in orbit, and who knows when the actual armada will come!?"
"Calm down, my liege" the princely man said, waving his other hand. "The sky is becoming dark enough for us to see anything, and we've seen nothing at all but fireflies and shiny stars in the night's sky…"
"Well, keep looking!" Kalu ordered. "Oyuki is our greatest threat as a planet, but she has friends on the planet already. Look out for a girl wearing anything tiger-stripped and another girl wearing a chain, okay?" Luko bowed.
"As you wish, my liege" he elegantly responded. "And what shall we do with them once they are found?" he asked. Kalu placed a finger to her lip and thought for a moment.
"Bring them to me" she decided nefariously. "I will see to it that they get what's coming to them…" With her piece said, Kalu disconnected the frequency and laughed and obnoxiously nefarious laugh. Luko sighed as she hadn't actually disconnected the feed, so he did it for her.
"A tale of untold vengeance and anger…" he sighed as he sniffed a purple flower, "how very beautiful…"
Shutaro and Ataru, still naked, paced through the jungle brush. The light from the curiously egg-shaped moon gave them enough light to see by, and enough that Mendo didn't get scared. Ataru had fashioned himself a wrapping of assorted leaves and vines to cover himself, whereas Mendo had a pair of short pants that were carefully knit together with vines and such. Finally, after they had trounced their way through endless brush, they came upon a clearing with a clear pool of water.
"Finally!" Mendo shouted derisively. "Now we can drink and rest" Mendo walked over to the water for a drink, while Ataru was cautiously staying in the bushes. Mendo stopped halfway and turned back to Ataru. "Come on, Moroboshi! Water!" he said, pointing at the glistening pool. Ataru shrugged and Mendo waved him off to continue forward. Then Mendo's foot caught in something and he was air bound. Ataru stepped out of the bushes, amusingly watching Mendo swing back and forth from a nearby tree branch.
"There might be traps around," Ataru started explaining vainly, "as this is a populated planet. Even if it's just the one hot chick…" Ataru started drifting off into his happy place, dreaming of what this Kalu could possibly look like under that charming mask of hers. Mendo's rampant screams and whines of help went slithering through the air into deaf ears.
"Oh, Kalu!" The imaginary Moroboshi cooed as he swept up the hot-pink haired goddess in his arms and flew off into the horizon of his own mind.
"Oh, Ataru! You're so very manly, and such a gentleman!" the dream Kalu said dreamily. Ataru made a goofy inner smile and went to remove her mask. Then his world turned black and horrible. All the stars went dim and the colors turned to hideous goo. Under her mask was the face of…OF!!
A resounding crash in the distance shook Ataru from his dream world with a startled yelp. Not seconds later, a shockwave blasted through the trees and forced Ataru into a tumble out of the clearing. Mendo was blown through the air and into the tree he was bound to, then back to the ground as his tether broke.
"Now what?" Ataru whined. The sound of the blast, along with the wind, died down at length. Ataru glanced over at the warm glow of embers just beyond the tree line. "A meteorite, or something?" he questioned. Mendo moaned helplessly as he lay on the back of his neck. He sprung up and faced Ataru with anger.
"Moroboshi!" He shouted. His makeshift pants started to fall off and apart, so he quickly gathered them up and bundled them up in front of himself. "What have you done now?" Ataru sighed and glanced over with a cautious and angry face.
"How, how in every other world is this my fault?" Ataru asked.
"Nothing's not your fault," Mendo pointed out as he tied his bundle into a steady boxer-shaped bunch, "and you should have some form of cosmic insight as to just what wrong is happening at any given time." Ataru winced at his explanation.
"Well, I can't, so shut up!" he yelled back in retort. The heat became steadily more intense as the tree border started to catch fire. Mendo and Ataru took a moment longer to stare at the flames before starting off in the opposite direction. Before they got very far, they heard the rush of steam coming from the fallen object. Huge jets of foamy-goo poured out across all the trees, dousing the fire and evaporating instantly into steam.
"Perhaps," Mendo started hesitantly, "we should investigate…?" Ataru shook his head fervently, but Mendo furrowed his brow at the cowardice and drapped him along anyway.
"Oh, Come on!" Ataru whined. "Why do I have to go with you to look at some stupid space rock!? It's not my fault, and I don't have to deal with it if I choose not to!" As he continued to complain, Mendo dragged him through the singed brush toward a large, bulky looking box with a four-point star with an orbital ring painted on the side. "huh?" Ataru grunted as he turned to look at this mysterious 'space rock'. It was no rock, but a shuttle.
The small space box hissed violently and let out a stream of steam from its side and started to open up. The steam spread out through the trees and brush, eventually lessening to an ankle-deep mist on the ground. Ataru and Mendo both stood bewildered as a feminine, (VERY feminine ;D) figure stepped out from the craft. In the soft shadows of the night, her definite face was indiscernible, but both world-class perverts could tell a woman when they saw one's shadow.
"Welcome to the planet, Miss!" Mendo said as he ran forward with open arms. Ataru managed to get the upper hand by planting a solid foot on Mendo's face and jumping from there to the maiden in the shadows.
"Hiya, there! I'm" Before he could say his piece, the girl's palm smashed into his face and she reeled her arm backwards.
"EEEEEEEK!" she squeeled, "A MAAAN!!" With that, the excited girl threw Ataru hard into and through several trees before one final tree stopped him for good. The dainty woman stepped down from the metal slant door and jogged carefully over to the injured Mendo.
"Big Brother!" shouted a familiar voice. A huge chill ran down Mendo's spine, like a gun was pointed at him, and he leapt out of the way. Asuka plunged her arms into the ground and crushed the dirt and rocks into bits and pieces. She looked up to see her beloved Big Brother Mendo, quivering slightly and twitching at the brow. He smiled awkwardly and fearfully and raised a hand in greeting. Asuka sat down and tittered.
"Big Brother," she started, "what happened to your clothes?" Mendo looked down, then bashfully reached for a nearby shrub to cover himself with, yet again.
"Heh heh HA!" laughed a ruggedly nasal voice from the craft. Benten leaned against the space chunk with crossed arms. "Ain't you two still too young to move so fast with your relationship?" She joked. Mendo turned red in the face and started shaking. His embarrassment had just peaked greatly.
"SUTARO!!" Shouted a male's voice from the craft. Tobimaro burst out of the steam with a giant club in hand, ready to swing down at Mendo. "How dare you reveal yourself to my little sister!" Thankfully for Mendo, something caught his leg and he tripped in mid air to the ground. His mace followed onto his head before shirking back to compact size. Ryoko had a whip in hand and a hand on her sad face.
"Oh, Shutaro…" she lamented. Mendo knew what was about to follow and tried desperately to run off. "How dare you be so very lewd while you own sister is forced to watch! I shall deliver justice upon you, my dear brother!" With that, she threw her whip up in the air and snapped it forward.
Meanwhile, while Mendo was being mercilessly tormented, Ataru was stirring back into semi-consciousness. He crawled his way back to his feet and rubbed his sore head. He felt to dizzy to stand and leaned against a tree, which splintered and fell over from the combined force of his impact and weight.
"You sure are durable," a female voice said. Ataru shook off his concussed feeling and perked himself up with an angry look. "I was pretty sure that would've killed you!" Ataru growled, but smiled.
"Well, you know me…the ever-living cockroach, Moroboshi." He turned around and met her upside-down eyes that swirled like little galaxies.
"Yup!" Lum exclaimed. "I married the toughest perv in the universe!" Ataru smiled angrily at her accusation and stepped back with crossed arms.
"Not the whole universe!" he complained as Lum flew back to her feet in front of him with her dainty smile. "Maybe just the galaxy…" he looked off in the distance thoughtfully as she came up and gave him a tight hug.
"I hope you didn't worry to much" she said with her mouth in his chest.
"I'm no worrier" Ataru replied as he placed his hands on her shoulders and drew her carefully away. She looked up at him with moist eyes at his confidently goofy smile. "That's your job, right?" Lum giggled and nodded. They stared at each other for a moment until an explosion grabbed both their attentions.
"Moroboshi!" Mendo screamed while desperately covering himself and running forward. Lum turned around and shielded her eyes, as did Ataru. "Quit standing there and help me! Tell them our suits got-Hurk!" Mendo's neck was caught by his sister's whip and he was being forcefully tugged back into the singed, steaming thicket to his sister's sobs and Tobimaro's rampant cursing.
"Say, Darling," Lum began. Ataru gulped. "What did happen to your suits?" she asked. Ataru rubbed the back of his leg and his neck while chuckling nervously. Lum squinted and decided it best not to learn the answer. "Nevermind, we'll get them later."
"Right!" Ataru replied. He turned to her at length and smiled. "So, Oyuki must be here too, right?" Lum blinked. "And ahead of schedule, eh? She msut've been really eager to see me again!" Lum sighed and put a hand to her forehead. This would be a long night…
"Hey, Sakura?" Tsubame said between his heavy panting. Sakura was leaning against a tree trying to catch her breath, while Tsubame was resting on the ground. "Are we done running yet?" Sakura wanted to say something, but no intelligible words came out of her mouth, Just breathy gasps and mumbling. She sat down as well, then fell on her back and closed her eyes. Tsubame followed suit and fell asleep beside her while the moon shone out from the sky like a silver sun on the couple.