Detention Date
Sasuke and Naruto are not known for being the closest and civil of friends. Constantly getting into heated arguments over the most trivial of matters, it's no surprise that the pair of them land themselves a detention. Kakashi-sensei takes control of the detention room so what will happen to the disputing pair when Kakashi is suddenly struck by a cunningly simple yet absolutely devious idea.
Ah, surprisingly, this is out sooner than I thought possible. Well, it's been great fun writing this. I was working with my little sister to get this done. I hope you like it. It was fun to write and I'm definitely happier with the result of this one. It may not be as good descriptively but- Actually, I'll let you decide for yourselves.
Disclaimers and whatever are stated in the first chapter 'Conspiracy'. Yeah, 'cause everyone reads those thoroughly. (Sarcasm) :)
Chapter Twelve - Love Squares?
Sasuke did recall that he had taken up the offer of joining Naruto and his friends for lunch but this wasn't quite what he had in mind. Shino and himself were sat on a bench listening to Kiba ranting on about some kind of crazy love triangle theory to Naruto who was really quite tired with hearing the crazy ideas. After all, most of them embarrassed him. But Shino and Sasuke's attention were caught by the two boys stood in front of them when they suddenly changed who it was about.
"Here, listen to this Naruto. I've come up with another one. So, Kakashi likes Shizune who likes Shino but he likes Kakashi."
At this point, the blond was blinking at the boy owlishly with his eyebrows raised so far that they threatened to merge with his hair. His thought process went along the lines of: The school nurse, that pervert and... err, Shino!
"What the hell, Kiba?" Shino blurted.
Kiba grinned at his usually quiet friend: "You know I'm kidding."
"I can't ever tell with you," Shino chuckled. He was interrupted by a noise that suspiciously sounded like Sasuke's sniggering. He turned to glare at said boy to find that he was indeed sniggering.
"No-no! I've got an even better one!" Kiba gasped as he realised something. "How about: Naruto likes Hinata who likes Sasuke who actually secretly likes Naruto?"
Naruto blurted a stream of nonsensical words before clapping his hands over his ears and yelling: "Kiba, I'm not listening. La-la-la-la-la!"
"Why am I in this one?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You know why," Kiba said suggestively with a wink which elicited sniggers from Shino. Immediately, Sasuke glared at Shino with his infamous Uchiha I-Am-About-To-Imminently-Kill-You Glare™. Shino shuddered and looked away. Noticing Shino's discomfort, Kiba patted the boy on the head.
"There there," Kiba said comfortingly, "the Duck's-ass won't hurt you."
"But he'll hurt you," Naruto grinned from ear to ear at Kiba. With an undignified squeak, Kiba's eyes widened to comic proportions and took cover behind Naruto.
"Restrain him please!" Kiba said to Naruto.
"But he's not my dog," Naruto said, genuinely confused. Sasuke smacked his palm to his face, words failing him. "Oh, well, if you're going to make up nonsense I think I have a right to as well." With a triumphant, yet oddly sinister, grin, Naruto held their attention for a moment before announcing. "How's this for a love triangle: Kiba likes Shino who likes Lee who likes Kiba?"
"He's got a girlfriend!" Kiba exclaimed.
Naruto's face lit up with glee. "Oh, so you don't mind Shino then?"
Both of the boys coughed and Kiba spluttered a load of nonsense, utterly and completely embarrassed by Naruto. Naruto simply raised an eyebrow and laughed.
"Sorry, I don't speak retarded dog."
"I do wonder about your mental state, Naruto," Shino said calmly, having recovered from his laughing fit.
Sasuke nodded in agreement before smirking: "Yeah, me too, seriously: Lee? Of all people-" His words were lost to fits of laughter at his friend's expense. Shino glared at Sasuke whilst Naruto just grinned unabashedly. Sasuke fell off the bench he was laughing so hard. Naruto laughed and helped his dark-haired friend up.
"Oh no, wait, there's also: Ino likes Sasuke who likes Shikamaru who likes Ino," Naruto grinned at Sasuke.
"Again, why me?" Sasuke said, through his laughter.
"Oh come on, you know you'd tap Shikamaru," Naruto grinned pervertedly.
"Who'd tap Shikamaru?" Sakura poked her head around Naruto as she approached the group with Lee in tow, their fingers interlaced. She had a grin on her face practically mirroring Naruto's.
Naruto laughed and jerked his thumb towards Sasuke.
"You are so dead, moron!" Sasuke growled and was about to lunge at Naruto before Shino placed a hand on his shoulder. He settled for rising to his feet and glaring at the blond.
"Is that true?" Sakura asked in stunned disbelief.
Sasuke's eye twitched as he fought down the urge to kill Naruto. He turned to Sakura, considerably calmer. Well, when you've gone from out and out sociopathic to just murderous it is a remarkable difference. "No, Sakura, it's just Naruto's typical idiocy showing," he calmly explained.
"Huh? Where?" Naruto's nose wrinkled and he looked about his person confusedly. With a roll of his eyes, Sasuke smacked the back of Naruto's head. "What the hell was that for, you bastard? That hurt."
"I don't think you need to be reminded how stupid you are," Sasuke smirked. Naruto pouted and shoved at Sasuke's arm.
Sakura giggled as she looked between them. Her inner self was enthusing: 'They so totally sound like a couple! That's so hot!'
"Well then boys," Sakura's grin took on a wholly new sinister level, "if it's love triangles you're on about then I'll tell you what I just came up with. It's more of a love square though. So, Naruto likes Sasuke who likes Kiba who likes Shino who likes Naruto."
"Why me!" a chorus of four voices sounded.
"Jinx touch wood!" Naruto shouted and touched the bench as he pointed at Shino, Sasuke and Kiba. He then punched the air victoriously.
"Dammit," Kiba groaned. "And I had a winning streak too."
"What the hell?" Sasuke and Shino asked in sync. They looked to each other before shaking their heads. Naruto rubbed the back of his neck as he smiled at the others.
"But why us four? It's- But- We're not-" Kiba's words failed him as he became a stuttering wreck. None of the others were surprised when the boy crumpled up into a pile on the floor. Shino sighed and stood up to pull the melodramatic heap of limbs back up into a Kiba-shape.
"It's hot?" Sakura ventured.
From the three glares directed back at her, she could safely deduce that neither Naruto, Sasuke or Shino agreed. Kiba was still overcoming the embarrassment.
"I, uh, guess you can't see it," she laughed nervously.
"You boys possess the spirit of youth!" Lee blurted with stars in his eyes, "We should go on a camping trip! It will be most youthful!"
"That's a bit out of the blue," Naruto said bemusedly.
"Fine then, if you're taking the guys I'm going to have a girly sleepover!" Sakura shouted back at her boyfriend.
"That is most youthful of you , Sakura!"
Sakura deflated with an exasperated groan. She placed her hand on her boyfriend's shoulder and explained kindly: "Lee, darling, that is supposed to be an act of defiance."
"Defiance is youthful!" Lee chirped - albeit rather loudly.
"You know, there is no arguing with you is there?" Sakura giggled. As Lee was about to answer, she placed her hand over his mouth. "It was rhetorical!"
It turned out that Kiba and Naruto whole-heartedly wanted to go camping as well which meant that Shino also agreed to come. When they turned to ask Sasuke if he was joining them, Sasuke gave in seeing as he didn't have anything better to do that weekend. They organised with each other who was bringing what. Kiba had a six man tent they could use and Sasuke knew that they had a really good camping cooker somewhere in the basement.
Towards the end of the day, Itachi sat at the table in the kitchen with a freshly brewed cup of Earl Grey and the newspaper. His dark eyes drank in the words of the newspaper in the well-lit kitchen. The scent of the tea was heady and Itachi inhaled the scent with a contented sigh. Earl Grey was a favourite of his for it's strong aromatic scent and the slight citrus taste.
As he was about to take a sip of his eagerly awaited cup of tea, the front door clicked open. An ashen and clearly shaken Sasuke lumbered in through the door. He'd always known that as Uchiha's the two of them resembled the Undead but at that moment Sasuke truly did look like a blood-starved vampire.
"Sasuke, are you alright?" Itachi asked him, concernedly.
Sasuke didn't seem to notice his brother and proceeded to hang his bag up and disappeared into his bedroom to change out of his uniform. When he returned downstairs, he finally took notice of his older brother's concerned expression.
"Apparently, I'm going camping this weekend," Sasuke murmured.
"My little brother has friends!" Itachi said a little too excitedly and hugged his brother tightly.
"Thanks," Sasuke said dryly.
"This is just such a shock. You're not coming down with a fever are you?" Itachi held his hand to Sasuke's forehead, noting there was nothing wrong with the boy's body temperature.
"I'm perfectly fine. It's just… one of them is a little… energetic."
"Oh, so that's how it is," Itachi chuckled knowingly. "Kisame's still… energetic, even now. I know what you mean."
Sasuke smirked and shook his head amusedly. "Yeah, but I don't think Kisame has a patch on this guy. He's more of a friend's friend but he's the one that came up with the idea completely out of the blue."
"So when are you going?"
"Friday night until Sunday morning," Sasuke replied. "We'll be going to a site that allows open fires."
"Don't go going crazy then," Itachi chuckled. "Uchihas and fire is a match made in heaven but not everyone is inclined to agree. Take it easy."
"Yeah, don't worry so much, big brother," Sasuke smirked.
"How are you getting there?"
"I'll be picked up," Sasuke replied. Itachi nodded and sipped his tea.
"That's good, you may as well start your packing now since you've only got two days in which to do it. I'll call you down when tea is ready, yeah?"
Sasuke nodded and quickly made his way upstairs to pack. Looking on in amusement, Itachi listened to Sasuke's retreating footsteps. Though Sasuke didn't outwardly show it, Itachi could tell that Sasuke was actually looking forward to it, despite the energetic friend.
Yeah, crazy love triangle theories. We've all got friends that come up with them. Though, I didn't think that Kiba counted on them backfiring like that. Haha! Just a hint, pay attention to the very few Sasuke reactions. ^_^ Just a hint, yeah.
Much love to my inspiration: my sister's best friend - I'll call her Lucy. Yeah, Lucy is awesome sauce. Her triangle theories... yeah, a little crazy but all that niceness... well you've got to have SOME quirk, yeah? My sister was watching as I typed this and she looked all hopeful when I typed 'much love to my inspiration...' and yeah, she deflated considerably. I've already credited her involvement, which she doesn't realise - ahahaha! But now she does. I sound like a schitzo don't I? Ehehehe, review plz?