A few hours later, the rest of the team and I went out to practice and run drills. We were practicing our swordsmanship, which is my favorite exercise. If it had been an ordinary day, I would have been thrilled. But nothing about this day was ordinary.
All of the other rangers kept giving me really weird looks as I was running my drills with Mia. It made me feel really uncomfortable. I don't know what they were expecting from me; to break down and start screaming, or crying, or loudly declaring my love for Mike, but I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of knowing that anything was wrong.
And nothing was wrong. I didn't love Mike and he most certainly didn't love me… I think. I shuddered remembering the other rangers' words.
"We all know about his… feelings for her."
"Everyone but Emily."
I felt a strange surge of hope as I recalled their words. Could it be true? Could Mike really have feelings for me? I shook the thought away. Of course not! I thought to myself. What kind of ranger would be so stupid, reckless and senseless as to fall in love with one of his teammates? Mike would. I thought to myself.
But what would that mean for us? What would that mean for the team, especially in his present condition? Is that why he was so much more volatile around me than his other rangers these past few days? What if he couldn't handle being around me anymore and hurt himself? And if he did heal, how would we function as a couple? How could we survive in battle if we were too worried about the other in battle? How could we work as a team? How could I live with myself if something terrible happened to him because of me? If he got hurt…
"NO!" I shouted as I knocked Jayden powerfully to the ground. He went flying through the air and hit the ground with a deafening thud. He rolled over onto his side and moaned in pain. "Oh my God! Jayden!" I shouted. I raced over to him in a panic, my heart thud thud thuddering in my chest. Kevin and Antonio rushed to either side of him to help him up. "Jayden are you okay? I am so sorry! That was so stupid of me and I can't believe that I did that." I began to babble.
"Ah dios Mio, chica. That was one powerful hit that you had there. I didn't know that you had it in you. What were you thinking about?" Antonio shook his head in wonder.
"I – I don't know." I stuttered. I could feel my face burning up, liquid fire stinging at my eyes. "I – I wasn't thinking." I finally got out. "I wasn't thinking at all."
Their eyes were all on me, staring at me accusingly. I clenched my fist in anger. Why couldn't I do anything right? First I hurt Mike by letting him take that Nighlock's spell for me. Just like how I always let my partners take falls for me.
And now, because I was frustrated, just so frustrated and confused, I hurt Jayden, my leader, and one of my favorite people in the entire world. What was wrong with me? What came over me? I wasn't trying to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt anyone.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I knelt next to Jayden to see if he was okay. His bright blue eyes as tried to make contact with mine. I couldn't look at him. My eyes sank to the floor in embarrassment. I put my head down in shame.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. My voiced trembled. "I'm sorry." I repeated.
Jayden lifted my chin to him so that I was forced to meet his eyes. I had to look at him.
"It's not your fault Emily," he responded looking completely solemn. I couldn't do anything but nod to him. As I did, he removed his hand from my face. I sighed in a mixture of pain and relief. Something about Jayden touching me like that made me feel uncomfortable. In a strange sort of way, it hurt me. Yet at the same time, it was comforting.
"I – I have to go." I managed to get out. Then I ran back into the house as fast as I could.