Chapter Eleven: Partisans
Lorrik Velash's Journal: Day Two, Entry One.
I've decided to take up a journal. Something in which to document my thoughts. Why? I'm not entirely sure. Curiously enough, I've never kept one before, and now that I actually have someone I know will listen to me, I still feel the need to make audio logs.
I had a hard time figuring out which dating system I was going to go by. The Galactic Standard and Korriban's cycle have a tendency to get out of sync. Since this is a personal endeavor, I figured I would adopt a new system based on the first day of study under Lord Syrosk. This might complicate matters when the transition from acolyte to apprentice occurs, but who knows? I might not even have this journal by then.
It amuses me that I still think it is a given that I'll achieve apprenticeship. After today's show, I don't think I garnered any favors with Lord Syrosk. But there's this funny feeling inside. Today I was bluntly faced with my inadequacies. It took a lot out of me. But Jresh, he reignited something. Something I thought I had lost long ago. A drive.
Before, I was content with study, but never found myself thinking more than a week forward aside from the occasional drifting thoughts that popped up when daydreaming. But now, not only do I have a goal beyond getting off this rock, I have a friend. A friend who dreams of the impossible.
I can only assume Jresh knows the fullness of what the Sith'ari is supposed to be. I mean… it is HIS language. Beyond the notions of a perfect being, there is legend of its actions. To destroy the Sith, all in order to make it stronger. A curious notion. Especially in a time of war. Patriotism is certainly an odd thing for the Empire. At least, amongst the Force users. I suppose you promise someone enough reward and they can look past that whole 'seize power at any opportunity' thing that seems all the rage.
The Sith, the Empire, has provided me much throughout my life, and not everything good. I often imagine how my life might have differed if I had stayed a slave. Not knowing the potential that rested within me. Or if I had been 'liberated' by the Republic. Would I chasten myself amongst the Jedi? Would I drift amongst the lower realms of some ecumenopolis, garbed in rags? My life under the Sith has been brutal, but I can't argue with some of the results. But I cannot in good conscience say they cannot be improved.
A great many confusing things dominate the realm of politics. I have studied, in passing, the circumstances of the Great War, as well as the characteristics of the two main participants. The more knowledge I manage to procure in regards to the war, the more I find myself surprised. The Galactic Republic should have easily been able to defeat its invaders through various actions not taken.
Incompetence amongst its policy makers. Indecision amongst its defenders. Seeing so mighty an Order unable to defend itself gives great cause for support in the Empire's methods. Corruption spread amongst the weak-willed and covetous politicians. And the 'incorruptible' Knights of the Republic found themselves unable to protect their realm.
So here I am, faced with these facts. The Republic is flawed and weak. The Empire is flawed, but ultimately strong. If the Republic manages to win the war, my life will be in danger. If the Empire wins the war, my life will still be in danger. I've come to terms with this lifestyle.
In the end, how these events affect me matters little. I shall come to adapt to whatever comes my way. What is more important, is how I will affect these events. What are Lord Syrosk's intentions regarding the conflict? Will we have a part to play in this war's continuation or conclusion? How long will the war go on? Our training is far from complete, perhaps the war will be over before we can even get off Korriban. No one here is certain whether the war will last one year or one hundred.
Perhaps the war should continue. Makes it easier to rise through the ranks when your superiors die on the battlefield every so often. Might even open up a few seats on the Dark Council. Now that's something I wouldn't mind having. That's practically the only moment in which you start having the capability to change the way this Empire works.
Is that what I'd have to get to in order to achieve my goal? A spot on the Dark Council? I'd say even that is optimistic. If we're going to reformat the Sith, we need to go straight to the top. The Emperor himself. You know, only after say this all aloud do I truly realize the ridiculousness of what Jresh and I have set for ourselves. Then again that was probably his intention. Insurmountable goal. Never stop trying.
But how could you live knowing that you will devote your entire life to something you know you cannot obtain? Maybe he doesn't know he cannot attain it. Or maybe he actually can. No. It'd be impossible. There's not even such a thing as a Sith'ari. It's just a meaningless title for powerful warriors to bicker over. But still, Jresh possesses a genuine ingenuity. Who am I to say he can't accomplish what he has set out to do so long as he tries? A sane person. That's who I am.
Maybe that's the problem. This galaxy isn't meant for the sane. Become a fool, and a fool's errand is just another errand. If the task is impossible for him, then I shall render aid. I promised him support. Mostly just as sentiment. But what if?
In the very minor library of secrets I have procured, I have witnessed a vast array of capabilities with the Force. Maybe that is it? That is what will allow us to attain our goals. After all, it says it right there, 'The Force shall free me'. And what is it I desire if not freedom? Knowledge. Yes. Definitely knowledge.
I will learn the secrets of the Force. Beyond what any sect or order could possibly teach me. I will share this knowledge with Jresh. I will forge him into something greater than this Academy or Syrosk could ever muster. I am content with study. It is the root of anything I could possibly consider power for myself. But Jresh, he's got ambition. And honestly, I want to see where it takes him.
It'll be entertaining none the less.