Captain Pip Bernadette.

Chapter 12

(A/N: Pip is fun and I think Ol' Big Red disserves a bit of a rest, don't you?)

-&-

Though Molly was not zee type to fall for colleagues or men fullstop, I seemed to 'ave kidded myself into thinking zat maybe, not today or tomorrow, she would show some sign of 'er affections for me. As I stepped down from zee terrace and into zee garden, I was filled with self-pity and doubt, but, as my slow walk of zee garden progressed, I became positive zat something might happen and zat I would 'ave to keep positive and bide my time.

I must 'ave been pacing zee garden for an hour or so, zee night air refreshing and enlightening in my hour of need. The crescent moon grinned down at me as clouds drifted across zee sky and zee spring breeze caught the tendrils of 'air zat has escaped my braid. Molly was an enigma in itself, she hated men—why? She was not at all talkative, nor was she zee type of person to smile or laugh freely—so her laughing at my jokes was out of zee question. But, zere was something about her zat intrigued me...

Was it her understanding of my work? Her coldness? Her love of danger? I knew zat I loved 'er eyes and 'er 'air. Her 'air was such a strange colour, but so beautiful and sleek and shiny. She was quite small and petit, fast and intelligent, easily annoyed—

I laughed as I thought about zee evening I broke her fingers in zee door, how she 'ad settled my worries about blood stains on my seats by smearing blood on my headrest, how she 'ad tackled me in zee kitchen quite recently when I was on zee phone to an ex-girlfriend. To counter my French shouting down zee phone, she had shouted back, in perfect French: "If you don't shut up, you loud bastard I'll rip off your nose and force-feed it to you!" and then proceeded to hang-up on Amelie and hold me down over zee kitchen counter. Which, as French grammar for zee English goes, was quite a hard sentence to create. But she 'ad said it with such affection, I thought sarcastically.

I loved zat she was a physical woman, call me a masochist, but I quite enjoyed zee thrill of her anger, she became incredibly passionate when she was angry, non? I paused on my pacing by zee fountain to see Molly sitting on zee bottom step, head in hands and elbows rested on 'er knees. A grin played on my lips as I stepped towards her, zee light from zee living room and kitchen above us casting a long shadow along zee ground; and it was only as I came within six feet of her zat I noticed zat zee light was caught in a droplet of water on 'er cheekbone. She 'id 'er crying well, she made no noise and, in fact, I wonder if she even knew she was crying.

"Molly?" I asked as I approached her, "Are you alright?" I asked, standing at the banisters, ready to leave her alone on her say-so.

"Yes, Captain, I'm just...I had a little bit of bad news, is all." She answered quietly, her voice usually quite quiet anyway making her voice sound more like it came from a mouse. We fell into silence, zee crickets in zee flowerbeds filling zee silence tunefully, zee sound of chatter from zee living room or kitchen drifting down to us through an open window or door. Zee silence was not unbearable, actually, it was quite nice—both of us needed to think, to accept some kind of bad news and zee silence was just what we needed.

I sat down on zee step with her, zee tear upon her cheekbone now gone, rolled away guiltily. Zee orange glow of zee lights seemed to make her blood-red hair look fiery and I noted how ethereal she looked bathed in zee golden glow; not at all like an angel, nor like a demon, more like a deliverer of punishment to zose zat were fool enough to sell their souls to Zee devil. Angel ou demon? She was neither, nor was she human—she was a puzzle.

We sat regarding the glorious garden which gardeners had taken hours to tend to, probably both noting how zee buds of zee flowers were slowly opening up, zee crescent moon bathing zee garden in a silvery glow. "Would you like to talk about it?" I asked after a few more moments. Molly didn't answer at first, but finally nodded.

"You probably understand my...anguish more than anyone else." she sighed pulling 'er 'air back into a long braid, much like my own which was wound around my neck in zee usual way- like my own scarf. "You've lost men in battles, haven't you?"

"Bien sur." I answered, "Any captain of a squad of armed forces should not call themselves 'Captain' until they have felt zee loss of men in battle."

"I worked in Ipswich for a while, I was blackmailed into...prostitution." I could 'ave choked on zee very air I breathed, Aaah, so zat was why she 'ated men so much? She had been forced to endure zee most disgusting of us... "I never actually...did anything, I would not stoop so low." She sneered in an instant, "But I became very close to some of my co-workers, most were illegal immigrants and they taught me a lot about their own lives and told me their hopes, dreams—why they had stooped to deal with such creatures. And after the pimp who was blackmailing me vanished I stayed to help them, to get them better jobs to get them more money so they could save up or send it back to their loved ones. Then I left and they were taken over by the very woman who was heading the kidnapping operations in Berkshire! They're all gone." She sighed, glaring at the sky hatefully, "It was a small blow when I heard Anya, a close colleague of mine, was killed and slaughtered but to hear that all of them: Anya, Anneliese, Anelie, Sozia, Jodzia, Emily, Rebekka, Violetta, Dita, Cerlina, Serafina...all of them, gone—and I could've saved them!"

I'd moved closer to her as she spoke to me, chest swelling with pride at being zee one she would confide in, "That is what hurts the most...That I failed them; that they are hurt and scared and I could've stopped it. No doubt they hate me...as I hate myself." her head was now bowed, a portion of her 'air falling free from zee braid as if conjured to shield her disgraced face from my eyes.

"Now, Molly, why would you hate yourself?" I asked, touching 'er shoulder lightly, shyly—worried she'd hate me and sprint off and never talk to me again.

"Because...I never, never, let myself get so close to people. I don't make friends, even the little boy—my little Jack—who I saved from those freaks, I didn't even allow myself to get attached to him—Lord, how I miss him now, though. I don't get close to people because those I do get close to end up dead, on a cold slab somewhere having their body being pieced back together like some macabre jigsaw puzzle! My mother: dead, ripped to pieces, raped and drained of all the life she had. Barnibus: beaten, tortured and now agoraphobic, Stephen and Frederick: in hiding, Alice: dead, and Craig ran off to find himself new life." Molly sighed, shaking her head. "All those close to me die: my babies, my friends, my family. They all die. I know I am death to all who grace me with their presence, so I keep my distance, stay cold, never get to know them well enough to like them because I know I will be faced with a loss at the end of it all. And I hate showing weakness, my weakness being sympathy, conscience, those human things I wish I did not possess, they only get you hurt and turn you bitter and twisted." She fell silent, 'er voice had raised to a shout and she glared up at the moon, revealing her visage, glistening with a second tear. Her body shook as zee anger faded and zee sorrow replaced it.

"If you did not feel 'zose human things' you would be a monster—do you want to be a monster?" I asked.

"Become a monster?" Molly asked; more as though she were toying with zee idea, "If it meant not feeling these emotions, loss and sorrow, then yes. I would become the world's most hated monster, a creature that laughs at the pain of others because I know i cannot feel it any longer. Such primitive feelings would be below me." I shook my head slowly, sighing.

"If you were a monster you would be below us, zese emotions are what makes us more superior to animals, zey are not 'primitive', they are...avant-garde! Without zese emotions you would be a monster, you would be free from pain, but you would also be without zee ability to love, to sympathise. And, as I have heard, you do sympathise and zat is what makes you beautiful, Molly, without love you would be an ugly and disgusting thing."

"I am hardly beautiful, Pip, if anything, I am plain. Beauty is superficial and superfluous, I could be as hideous as a hag and I wouldn't care, only those looking at me would." Molly chuckled darkly and we fell into silence again. Should I? I thought, I dared... I slung my arm around her shoulders, feeling how 'er body tensed with suspicion and mistrust at first and zen softened and moved closer to my side. She rested her 'ead against my chest, inhaling and exhaling slowly and calmly. It was a feeling I knew I would have to savour—it wouldn't happen again—and we sat in a comfortable embrace for what seemed like only minutes but must have been at least an hour, in complete silence we thought whatever we wanted, comfortable in each other's company.

"Pip?"

"Mmm?"

"Speak French to me." I frowned.

"Speak French? Why would you like me to do that?" I asked in French, angling my 'ead away so I could see zee smile spread across 'er lips, her nose creasing from zee full beam. "Because, my mother used to speak to me in French when I was upset, it is a beautiful language and it calms me- and you have a nice accent, are you from the south?" She asked, looking up at me, a lopsided smile replacing zee grin.

"Oui. I lived near to the border with my mother, father and three older brothers." I answered.

"What was your house like? Did you have a big garden? Are you a city-dweller?" I laughed in answer and zen articulated an answer, worried she may not understand some of what I said.

"We had a small cottage and converted stables and barn, the new barn and stables were more fitting for our animals, y'see? We had four acres of land to ourselves, some fields used for grazing cattle- which we slaughtered, prepared and sold ourselves- and two for our own devices, we had parties there, barbeques and picnics, summer was, no doubt, my favourite time of year." Molly moved closer to me, 'er nose creasing with a smile and her hair slowly falling back into her face. "But why do you want to know all this?"

"I don't, I simply like hearing you speak, speak more,"

"Err, well...Hmm. The sky is particularly beautiful tonight, wouldn't you agree? The stars are beautiful, they glisten marvelously..." I carried on with my twittering for a few more minutes until I paused and asked, "Why do you like me speaking French so much, other than it calms you? You smile more genuinely than I have ever seen when I speak French—why is this?"

"I can remember..." She paused and returned to speaking in English, "And yet I cannot. I know there are things I have forgotten, and when I hear French I know there is something...I remember it, but for the briefest second and then it's gone- I don't know what it is I'm remembering, sometimes I remember something that makes me smile other times I end up beating the French speaker into oblivion." She chuckled to herself darkly. "But, all things considering, I'm in quite an amiable mood this evening—you do not need to worry, Captain."

"I never do, I find your beatings quite entertaining, I'd prefer if you'd call me Pip, Molly,"

"Masochistic bugger, and Pip it shall be." Molly chuckled again, a sad smile playing on 'er lips as she stood up and stretched, I stood also, standing nine or so inches taller zan 'er. She walked around to the fountain and sat down on the edge, dipping 'er fingers in the water absent-mindedly. I leant again zee wall nearest to her and watched her, she glanced up.

"I meant to apologise for my outbursts this past week or so."

"Non apology needed, Molly, I was in zee wrong...though your beating after my chat to Amelie on my phone was unnecessary." zee crescent moon reflected in the surface, a ghostly mimic of the lopsided grin Molly gave me.

"Oh, no, you deserved it then, Pip. You were bad-mouthing her." I frowned.

"Because she was trying to get me to go back to 'er. I 'ave no intention of staying with zat woman any longer—she is...intolerable!"

"Perhaps she is lonely?" I scoff in reply.

"Oh, no, she wants me back so she can get herself pregnant and blame it all on me! Make me pay maintenance and act zee useless father, I will not 'ave eet."

"You won't?"

"Of course not! If I want a child I will settle down and 'ave one, but at zis moment in time I do not feel inclined to 'ave one—my work would get in zee way. And," I chuckled softly, " 'oo would 'ave zis Cyclops?" I pointed to my eye-patch. Molly smiled briefly.

"You're being silly, Cap—Pip, your lack of a second eye would have nothing to do with a woman's disinterest."

"I bet to differ, Molly." I propped my foot on zee edge of zee fountain and leant forwards, my face inches from 'er's. "Amelie 'as not seen me since, and any uzzer woman seems compelled to run when zey see I 'ave been in zee wars." Molly raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"You are going for the wrong women, Anya was engaged to a man who lost four fingers from one hand during a civil war—he was very good at hitch-hiking though."

"Your point being?"

"You go for the women who hate imperfection, who spend enough time making themselves look perfect that being seen with a man who has but one single imperfection would make them rip out their own hair." She paused, "Emily, snobbish Emily, dated a man with a prosthetic limb...you have an eyepatch—so what? I have worse than you."

"I doubt that," I scoff.

"Well, I don't. Men are different you see. If I ever found the need to please one he would have to put up with a torso completely marred by scars, a body, so stressed and put to such lengths, that has not yet found its way to maturity. I have the body of a pre-adolescent, and am sick of it. I hate women who are vain, and yet I am not happy with my body, why can't I have the curves a woman has? You have it much better than me; I will most likely end up being the subject to a pedophile's fancies, not a normal man-"

"I don't know, I know men 'oo are intrigued by you." Molly frowned. Aah, but she knows which men do...I thought.

"But I am not intrigued by them." She whispered, zat stung. "But nor am I intrigued with any man...only when a man deserves my trust shall a man also deserve my affections." I nodded, my 'ead moving closer to 'ers, her breath caught in 'er throat and I dared, again I dared!

My lips brushed hers and she made no move to escape me, nor did she reciprocate my actions. I would not dare further than a simple kiss, but I lingered enough to taste her lips to caress her cheek, and zen pulled away. Molly did not seem at all fazed, she blinked, "I knew you wanted to do that." she whispered and with zat she stood up and left. I straightened up and followed 'er with my gaze as she made her way silently up zee stairs and into zee kitchen.

"Molly, where are you—?"

"Good night," I heard her answer quickly, as an unknown person cursed under her breath I realised it was Seras. I sighed, running my hand through my 'air and zen made my way to zee kitchen.

"Hey, did you see Molly..." Seras stopped in mid-sentence and then laughed, "Oh-ho! You...and she..." She jumped forwards, examining my face keenly, "I reckon you kissed her, am I right?" Without an answer she nodded to 'erself, "and she didn't slap y'? You were in luck, mate! Oh-ho! Wait until Grammy-"

"No, Seras, I am not in zee mood," I took Seras by both shoulders and moved 'er out of my way.

"Fine, I won't say a word..." she mumbled as I made my way back to my room, hands in pockets, braid swinging behind me.

"Did you have a good chat?" Alucard asked as I came to a corner, he leant against zee wall casually and flashed a smirk at me.

"Not now, Alucard."

"I knew it wouldn't end well."

"I think zat Molly would get razzer peeved is she realised zat you and Seras both knew about zis, can we just keep it quiet, I know she will not be happy with any rumours." Alucard still smirked at me.

"What did you do?" I tried to keep my face blank, my mind following suit, but somehow he seemed to know, he tutted under his breath, "I'm surprised you can still walk." Alucard laughed and pushed past me, "Have a good night's rest, Captain." he jibed, knowing full well zat I would find sleep practically impossible.

A/N: Teehee...sorry...wanted to just add that in...:P:P:P well, goodnight, I'm knackered and on such a hiiiiigh! (no drugs needed) maybe its sugar, eh? well. night night my possums! yack yack!

hug

XpoisonX