This is Me

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee, never will. Kora is the only one who is mine.

A/N: Enjoy Review or PM me if you wish. This chapter is a bit longer than usual, so apparently this can be produced on a massively long and boring car fun, well onto the story! I hope this makes waiting a week worth it. I will be updating as per usual now. I am so very happy to be home. -Medieval Wizard

Chapter Twelve: Pain and Proposals

I think Kurt, Blaine, and I walked around in a haze for a few days at school even after we had a few days to relax after our return to Lima. I was in even less than perfect shape. I had turned my ankle going up icy porch steps and was even less mobile than other days. You wouldn't have known it was still winter at that point, but I felt like I was missing out on the fun. This was proven within a few days of our return to school after break.

I was late in coming back from my locker, because Azimio was blocking the entrance to the elevator, so I was trapped. When I came over to everyone it was clear that they were giggling madly over Mercedes, and I pulled Kurt aside.

"Did I miss out on Summer Nights? I know spontaneity would have been ruined, but still. I hate being even more of a gimp than usual."

"It's okay, Kora, it's just as we all suspected, so you didn't miss much. Just concentrate on keeping both feet under you from now until Regionals. We have to win it this year. Come on, let's get to class."

I was cranky in Glee. My left ankle was giving me fits, and there was this marriage talk in the air; I was really happy for Mr. Shue. He and Ms. Pillsbury were adorable together, but honestly. I didn't get it. Why I felt the need to voice this opinion to everyone, but sadly, I put my foot in my mouth for all to see.

"Why do you need to marry her, Mr. Shue, and why does it need to be elaborate? She's clearly smitten with you."

"Wow, even I get it, Thumbalina," Puck said. "It's a sappy sign of love."

I put my head in my hands and tried to shrink into my chair as much as possible. "Carry on," I whispered. "Sorry Mr. Shue."

He walked over to me and patted my shoulder. "It's all right, Kora. You do bring up a good point. Not everyone has the same idea about romance and love. I want your help, but there is no pressure at all guys." He squeezed my shoulder, and went back to th

Everyone was so mushy and excited, and they just looked at me like I had swallowed a fly. I was apparently the only one in the whole club that I didn't have any need for love; even among the womanizers, so I was feeling a little out of place.

"Mr. Shuester, may I have the floor for a minute?" I asked. He nodded. "Okay, kids. I'm not getting on a soap box, because it's silly, but I don't like looks some of you are giving me. Kurt, Blaine, Santana, and Brittany got your respect, and I ain't begging for it, but I think this song may help explain a few things."

"I tried to be perfect

But nothing was worth it

I don't believe it makes me real

I thought it'd be easy

But no one believes me

I meant all the things I said

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

This place is so empty

My thoughts are so tempting

I don't know how it got so bad

Sometimes it's so crazy

That nothing can save me

But it's the only thing that I have

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect

It just wasn't worth it

Nothing could ever be so wrong

It's hard to believe me

It never gets easy

I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own."

I bowed and took my seat. "There you have it folks. Take it as you will, just don't ask me about romance, because I don't get it, Kay?" I brought my knees up under my chin, and wrapped my arms around them. I grimaced as a sharp pain radiated through my ankle. I almost fell off of my chair. "That didn't feel good pardon me, everyone."

I limped out of the choir room, and called my dad. My leg was hurting far too badly for me to stand any long, and even though me dad was out of town I was hoping that he could help me out. He answered on the first ring. "Hey, Dad, do you think that Dr. Greene can get me in today?"

"Probably, Baby. I'll give him a call, but I'm out of town." he said.

"I'm sure I can manage to get in as long as I have your go ahead. I don't think it can wait."

"Okay, kid. I'll call you back as soon as I can."

"Thanks, Dad. I love you. Have a good trip."

I closed my phone and leaned against the lockers in the hallway. Kurt, Blaine, and Finn followed me out into the hallway. "Kora, are you all right?" Finn asked.

"Not, really, Finn. I did a number on my ankle. I'm waiting for a call back from my dad about my orthopedist. Go back to Glee, I'll just wait out here."

"Okay, if you're sure," Finn said. He walked back into the choir room, but Kurt and Blaine stayed with me.

"He is never sure what to do in these situations," Kurt said. " Do you want Blaine and me to come with? I know Sean is out of town."

"Thank you, Kurt. You are amazing." I got a text -Kora, go in asap. He'll see you. -Dad- I picked up my back pack. "Dr. Greene can get me in. You can just drop me off, and I'll call when I am through."

"I'm only agreeing, because Blaine has to get home, but I'll join you once he is on his way," Kurt said. "You don't need to be alone."

We piled into the Navigator, and I could no longer put weight on my left foot, and I had left my cane at home because I had finally been doing so much better. Kurt and Blaine put arms around my shoulders and helped me inside and got me settled into the chair. Kurt walked over to the receptionist.

"Kora Rose is here to see Dr Greene. She can't put any weight on her left foot, so someone needs to assist her."

"Thank you, I'll make sure the nurse is aware. Is her father here?"

"Her father is out of town, but he's called in and given Dr. Greene permission to treat her. He won't be home until the day after tomorrow, and she needs to be seen today." I could see Kurt daring the receptionist to protest; she didn't.

Blaine gave me a hug. "Hope everything goes well."

"Thanks, Blaine. I hope so too."

Kurt pulled me into a hug. "I'll be seeing you soon. Call me if you need anything sooner, okay?"

"Of course," I said. "Thank you again for everything, Kurt. You both spoil me."

"Never, that's just what friends do," He said. "I'll see you soon."

He and Blaine hurried from the room, and I got a text. -Hey, Kora, is everything okay? Finn-

I smiled -No news yet, Finn. I'll keep you updated. How was the rest of the meeting?-

-Pretty good. Everyone is pretty impressed with how varied your selection is getting. From your audition people thought you would have an issue with contemporary.-

-Before New Directions, they would have been right, but my confidence is better now. Now I just like to see what I can do. It's really fun.-

-Keep it up. I know Mr. Shue is impressed.-

"Kora, we're ready for you." Nurse Connie said. She came over and helped me limp into the exam room. I sat in the chair. "So what brings you in? Didn't we just see you?"

I laughed. "Yes, and everything was going well until about two o'clock this afternoon. My ankle started throbbing, and after I sang in Glee, I tucked my feet up, and the pain got so bad I almost fell out of my chair. That's why I called my Dad to get me in. It's been centered around my Achilles Tendon and hamstring if that makes it easier. I leaned down and slipped my sandals off.

"I'll make note of it in your chart, Sweetheart," she said. "Hang tight, and Dr. Greene will be in very soon."

"Thank you, Nurse Connie," I said. I reached down to massage my ankle and winced at how tender that it was, especially where my existing surgery scar was. That didn't bode well in my experience. I should have listened and had it done two years ago; that would have been so much better than now. I probably didn't have much of a choice now.

Dr. Greene came into the room and flashed a bright smile my way. "Kora Anne Rose, what have you done now? Four visits in six months, I think that's a record."

"Actually, Dr. Greene, it hasn't even been six months. I am not doing it intentionally. We didn't get much snow in Vegas. I am also a Senior with a social life; and a pretty severe shopping addiction."

Dr. Greene laughed. "I see your point. Kora, but you aren't going to be doing well without surgery, but I suspected as much when your Dad called the office. We'll fit you in at four o'clock in the afternoon tomorrow, and since Sean is out of town will you settle for over night?" I must have paled. "You don't have to if you can find a way in. I just know that you don't drive. I'll be back in a few minutes with your copies of the paperwork."

"Thank you." I whispered. Dr. Greene left. I pulled out my phone. "Daddy. I need to go under. Apparently it can't wait. Tomorrow at four. Don't rush home. I'll be loopy until you come home anyway. Text me when you get this. Okay?" I closed the phone. I dialed one other number. "Kurt?"

"Kora?" Kurt chirped. "I'm in the waiting room."

"Oh good. Could you come back, please?" I sucked in a breathe. "Room four?"

"I'll be right there." We hung up the phone, and less than a minute later he was in the room and seated in the chair next to me. "You cracked. It's not good is it?"

"Nope. I have surgery scheduled for four o'clock tomorrow."

"Carole's working at four tomorrow. Me and Dad can come get you, and I'll stay with you until Sean get's home. I wouldn't mind a free day from school. I am not ditching you for New Directions. Carole just has a handle on this better than me."

I hugged him. "I know, and I meant what I said before that you spoil me. I could have stayed in patient. Though that idea was less than pleasant. I really dislike hospitals."

"I suspected as much, so that will not happen. Question is, are you going to school tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Just try not to eat in front of me. It will give me a chance to get my work."

"I'll give you a brace, Kora. Just be careful. Who will be bringing you in?"

"This is Kurt Hummel. He's my neighbor. His step mom Carole Hudson-Hummel works at the hospital. She'll bring me in, and Kurt said that he and his dad will pick me up."

"Goodness you have some really good neighbors. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. You can eat, just nothing after,say eight or nine in the morning. I'm not going to torture you, Kora. Not with that rap-sheet. You could probably tell some of the nurses what to do. Wear this tonight, and use your crutches. Oh cast colors, or do you want me to pick."

"I'll pick," I said. "Black lining with electric blue plaster or similar, but not dark blue or Navy. I have Regional Show Choir and Nationals to consider."

Dr. Greene shook his head. "Okay you two. Kora, you can walk on the brace, but use those crutches when you get home."

"Thanks, Dr. Greene," I said. Kurt took my hand, and we hobbled out to his car. "Now they can't change the costume colors, or else I'll look silly."

"Good call, Kora, because Rachel said we were going to look too much like vocal adrenalin."

"She would, but it's powder-blue with an electric edge to it. Not nearly as bright as the blue that the automatons wear."

Kurt squeezed my shoulders. "Thank you, Kora! Blaine and I were trying to explain this to her, but she has no eye for color."

"Clearly, but we have to get the money first. If we only had the money the Cheerios have." I settled into the car and got a text.

-Kora, are you sure. I can come down early. Though Burt said between him, Kurt, Carole, and Finn you are in good hands.-

-Affirmative, Dad. We're good. Number ten. I think I have got this handled. I think Burt was trying to make Finn feel like he was contributing.-

-Finn is sweet. He's just clueless. I love you, Baby. I'll come home if you need me.-

I chuckled. -Love you too, Daddy. See you soon.- I remembered I should update Finn.

-Finn, I have to have surgery tomorrow at four. I'll be out for a week. I'll be in tomorrow, but since you were curious I thought I would let you know what is going on.-

-That sucks big time, Kora. Are you and Kurt stopping by the house?-

I turned to Kurt. "Am I stopping by the house?" I couldn't help but giggle.

Kurt rolled his eyes and sighed. "I don't know about that, Kora. It is kind of out of the way..."

"We practically live at each others houses. Finn can be so weird." -Sorry, Finn. It's too far. I'm going to head home.-

-Ok. I'll go there then.-

I read Kurt the text and he made motions like he was going to bang his head on the steering wheel, bit he refrained from doing so. I couldn't blame him. Our porches were less than two hundred feet apart. It wasn't hard to traverse even with a bum foot.

"He must have something important, because he's insistent upon seeing you, even if he's being ridiculous."

"That was my thought, Kurt, but what could it be. He was home by the time I texted him. I don't remember doing much of note today, aside from being cranky and pushing Ace equality. Which frankly embarrassed me, because I should have kept my mouth shut. God me of all people should not push their agenda."

Kurt grabbed my hand as as we pulled into my driveway. Most of us realized it was atypical Kora today. I don't think you realized how much you pain was showing on your face. Speaking of which. House keys?"

I passed them over to Kurt, he jumped out of the car, went inside, and returned a few minutes later with my emergency over night bag, and my crutches. He opened the back door, slipped everything inside and got back into the driver's side. He smiled at me.

"No complaints. I was planning on kidnapping you tonight anyway. You just gave me an extra reason to do so."

"I'm not complaining at all. You know that I would rather not be alone at home. Plus, you all are so much more fun."

"You're not sleeping on the couch. We are going to exploit this guilt that Finn apparently feels. But there is a reason I am going to stay at your house. Your house has a better post surgery set up."

"Agreed,"I said. "It's not the best, but I have learned the tricks after three prior surgeries. That's why I am going to have a week off. At least I have crutches this time. Humiliating that is without them."

"What did you do?" Kurt asked pulling my crutches forward. "That would have been incredibly painful, I should think."

"I had to crawl anywhere, so I didn't leave the house much. Once I could stand I lost my balance a lot. That only made things that much more awkward, and apparently it was all because my mom thought it would only weaken me to have aides. Yeah, I'm a little bitter about that."

I opened my door, slung my bag on my back, and swung slowly over to the porch. Kurt followed behind me making sure I didn't fall. I made it inside without incident.

"Kora, I'm starting to appreciate the fact that I never had much contact with your mother. She wasn't very nice." Kurt set my bags down by the stairs. Are you hungry? I can see what there is to eat in this house. If I were you I would be eating constantly until nine o' clock."

"It won't do much. I won't starve it's a head game. I can't eat so now I am super hungry kind. The more I eat the worse anesthesia sucks, so I keep it light."

"Dang it. Blaine insisted we go to breakfast. Would you hate us?"

"You two are incredibly sweet. Of course we can go to breakfast. I think that would be really fun. I had never thought to do that before."

"Oh good. I thought you would shut us down."

"Can I come?" Finn asked coming up the stairs. "Please?"

It involved food. Finn wanted to come. There wasn't anything surprising about that at all. I looked over at Kurt. He shrugged; leaving the answer to me. "Sure, Finn, you can come with us."

"Thanks, Little Sister," He said. "Oh, when you have a minute I have something for you."

Finn had started calling me that after my mom has bailed on us, and I had been spending more and more time at their house. My dad soon followed suite. We joked that we should just connect both of our houses. I am not sure they were serious, but it was entirely possible in relation to our families.

"Sure, Finn, no problem. Kurt can I have pancakes?" I made it to the table, and sat in a chair.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Just pancakes? That's pedestrian, Kora."

"I didn't want to be an overbearing elitist. Make some sort of breakfast food involving chocolate, and I will be very happy."

"Okay, that gives me a few more options. Settle in."

I sat at the table and Finn came over and sat next to me. He slid a book of index cards to me. "After you left we all sat down and made this for you. Ignore the title, Puck thought it was clever."

*Romance Is: For Our Ace of Hearts*

"Puckerman, some days I wonder how he's still in one piece." I said. "As a comedian I do appreciate the effort."

"Still tacky," Kurt said.

"Agreed, but you're Rachel's Best Gay, The Most Unicorn of Them All, and a few others. It was only a matter of time. I call myself Ace, so it's cool. My issue is, I can't decide if it's an ironic pun or an oxymoron."

Kurt chuckled from the kitchen as he was whisking up batter. "Read them aloud, please?"

"Sure, Kurt," I said turning to the first card.

*Romance is waking up one morning and realizing that even though you failed the first time the most perfect person has been there all along. -Mr. Shuester*

"Of course. Do you think he's trying to justify his actions?" Kurt asked casually as he heated up the skillet.

"Of course," I said. "He's an adult, he was in a terrible relationship for half of his life. He probably has about as much knowledge as the sixteen-year-old boy who fell for his first wife."

*Romance is like rainbows. It's colorful, sweet, and really shiny.- Brittany S. Pierce*

"Sometimes Brittany makes the oddest sense," I said.

"She really does," Kurt said. He put a plate down in front of me. Now sit down and eat. That book will be there after you eat."

"Yes, Sir," I said picking up a fork. "Good evening, Carole!" I flashed her a bright smile.

Carole sat at the table across from me and took my hand in her's "Hi, Sweetie. Are you sure you don't want to wait for your dad. We're more than happy to help you, but surgery can be scary."

I nodded, "Thanks for the concern, Carole, but this is major surgery number ten for me. Dad and I don't really react to them at all. Almost too casual some feel. But it's the hand I've been dealt. So, I'm fine going under without my dad, but you have to be all right with it as well. I do not want to place you in a situation where you are uncomfortable."

"Oh, Honey we're all fine with it. I just had to make sure that you weren't just putting on an unneeded brave facade."

Kurt snorted, " Carole, this is Kora we are talking about. She would show it, if she was bothered by it. She's all right. Apparently, as long as staying overnight is not mentioned."

"No, no. I really hate that," I said. "I really would much rather recover at home and sleep the first two days away. I don't like pain meds. Anything stronger than Ibuprofen does not sit well with me anyway. Sleeping pills are easy to have on hand."

"I won't judge what works for you honey. After nine surgeries you would know what works for you. Kurt will run you home, and I'll drop you off before my shift. I'll have Dr. Greene page me when you're settled so the boys can pick you up. What's your favorite treat. Pay attention, Kurt."

"Carole, he all ready knows." I said. "It doesn't usually change."

Kurt nodded. "Kora is predictable. "Soft chocolate chip cookies, Chai Tea, Green Curry with shredded young mango salad, Thai Iced Tea, and Ling Ling's pot-stickers."

I gave him a high five. "Now, how many of those do you think that you can find here in Lima?" I asked with a smile.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out, Dear."

"That is something to look foreword to, Kurt, but I will most likely be boring or unpleasant company tomorrow evening, and most of the next day. So, I am really sorry about that."

"I'll manage, Kora. You have plenty of things that will provide a sufficient distraction. If I ignore you, you tend to give up. Can you teach that to Rachel. She desperately needs that skill."

"I'll see what I can do about that, Kurt, but I make no promises. Rachel can be quite stubborn. No one can convince her otherwise. Kind of glad I'm getting a break from her, for a bit."

"Me too, so thank you for that. It is always nice hanging with you, Kora cranky or no. Please don't change."

"I don't plan on it, Kurt. I just need to make it through tomorrow, and it will be good. Moving foreword is always a good thing."