Chapter 12

The atmosphere within the tower was very melancholy. After weeks of medication and procedures in hopes of becoming pregnant, Starfire had had four embryos implanted into her uterus. All had hoped at least one would attach and the pregnancy would commence. On this day the couple was given the go ahead in taking a pregnancy test. They took a store bought test and had Cyborg do a blood test; both came back negative. Starfire proceeded to lock herself in her bedroom to cry while Nightwing went up to the roof to clear his head.

"This isn't uncommon," Cyborg assured him. "It may take a few tries before it takes."

"I know," Nightwing sighed. "I told myself there was a strong possibility of this happening. We had prepared ourselves. At least, we thought we had. Everything was going so well I think we got our hopes up despite knowing better. We just… we just want this so badly."

"We know you do, dude," said Beast Boy, patting his back. "And it'll happen. Sooner or later it's gonna happen. You two are gonna be parents."

"Yeah, I know that," said Nightwing. "Just didn't think it'd take this long. We wanted all of you to be around when we had the baby but I don't think that's possible now."

"Ah, so that's why you guys started trying just before we all got back together," said Beast Boy with realization. "I was wondering why you would try to start a family when we're supposed to be working as a team again."

"You guys are the closest people in our lives," said Nightwing. "We wanted the three of you to be here."

"Hey, there's no reason we don't have to be," said Cyborg. "You make the call and I'll fly over here ASAP to be here with you guys."

"Same goes for me," Beast Boy agreed. "And hopefully Raven."

Nightwing sighed and shook his head, trying to physically remove the negativity from his brain. "I don't want to think about this anymore. Do you guys wanna play basketball? I need to do something to get my mind off of all this baby crap."

"Sounds good to me," said Beast Boy, running over to get the ball that lay at the base of the hoop. "But are you sure you should be up here when Kori's so upset?"

"Yeah she just needs some time alone," said Nightwing. "She'll be fine in a bit. I'll take her out tonight to make her feel better. She needs to get her mind on something different for a change. I feel like this is all we've been focusing on for the last few months."

"Well I'm not gonna argue with you," said Cyborg. "We're all sick of it, too."

"Not that it's your fault," said Beast Boy. "We know you'd keep this hush hush if you could. Kori's the one shouting it from the rooftop every morning, noon, and night."

"Well what're you gonna do?" Nightwing shrugged. "That's how she is. And I love her for it."

"Aw, you love her," Beast Boy smirked in a teasing manner.

"Shut up," said Nightwing, sending the ball flying at his face.

"I wouldn't go teasing about love if I were you," Cyborg chuckled. "How're things going between you and Rave?"

"Hey, that's my name for her," Beast Boy clarified. "And we're doing amazing, if you must know."

"Have you talked about what you're gonna do down the road?" asked Nightwing.

"Not really. We're kinda figuring it out as we go," said Beast Boy. "And it's not like we're disbanding next month or anything. We've still got seven months left."

"That sounds like a long time but it'll be over before you know it," said Cyborg. "And if you're still together you'll have to decide how to continue your relationship when you both want to live very different lives."

"She likes her life in the temple and you like to live on the road," said Nightwing. "That's not an easy fix."

"Okay guys, enough," Beast Boy said, growing agitated. "I told you that we'd handle this on our own and we will."

"We're not chaperoning we're just giving you advice," said Cyborg.

"Yeah, we want you guys to stay together," said Nightwing. "You're good for one another. As weird as that is."

"Never thought I'd see the day but I guess Hell had to freeze over eventually, huh?" Cyborg chuckled.

"Shut up," said Beast Boy, though he couldn't help smiling.

"But, while we're on the subject, has she been doing alright?" asked Nightwing. "She's seemed a little… cranky lately."

"You noticed that too?" said Cyborg. "I was thinking the same thing. I just didn't wanna say anything."

"Dudes, I haven't the slightest idea what that's about," Beast Boy shrugged. "Ever since she 'retired' she's been all weird. I don't know if it's cuz she's bored or she feels guilty about staying home or what."

"Kori said she tried to talk to her and she got snapped at," said Nightwing. "And yesterday when we were in the kitchen together she got mad at me because I reached for a cup above her head. Her eyes went red and she actually growled at me."

"Which is weird cuz she won't leave me alone," said Beast Boy. "All she wants to do is be close to me. She never says it but whenever we're together she wants to hold my hand or hug me or something. Hell, I haven't slept in my own bed in the last month."

"TMI, man," said Cyborg.

"No I mean we actually just sleep," Beast Boy explained. "Sometimes we fool around but for the most part we're just sleeping."

"And that was her idea?" asked Nightwing.

"Yeah it's all her," said Beast Boy. "Which I'm happy to do, trust me. But it's just weird that she's the clingy one in our relationship."

"That is weird," said Cyborg. "Have you talked to her about it?"

"Yeah, she just says that it makes her feel better to be near me for some reason," Beast Boy shrugged. "And she said that the rest of you just make her grumpy. I don't know. Maybe she's about to get her period or something."

"Jesus, you didn't say that to her did you?" asked Nightwing.

"Of course not! You think I'm stupid?" Beast Boy laughed. "I'm sure whatever it is will pass. And if it doesn't she'd be the first to know that something was wrong."

The realization had hit her suddenly and without warning. It was an epiphany of great shock and confusion that had leveled her sensibilities. And once she'd had this epiphany she proceeded to go into instant denial. She couldn't believe that she was in the situation she was in; she thought it impossible. But after hours of rational thinking and deep thought she realized she could ignore her condition no longer and decided to see if her worries were justified. And when they were confirmed she quickly sought out council.

She went to Cyborg's door and knocked. "Victor?" She heard a chair wheel back and then his heavy footsteps approach. The door opened and there he stood.

"Oh hey," he said, a bit surprised. "What's up? Or… did I do something wrong? In which case I'm really sorry and please don't hurt me."

She wasn't surprised that he was nervous about her seeking him out. Over the last few weeks, and especially the last few days, she'd noticed how hostile she'd become towards her towermates; all except for Beast Boy, whom she was still oddly clingy to. The thought of anyone other than him being around her made her incredibly cranky. She hadn't been sure why until now. "You didn't do anything wrong. I need to talk to you. Or, rather, I need your help."

"Okay, what's up?" he asked, obviously relieved.

"Well… um… can I come in? I don't want anyone else to hear," she said, playing with her fingers anxiously.

"Yeah, sure," he said, stepping aside so she could enter. "Is it about Gar? Are you two having problems?"

"No, it's not like that," she shook her head.

"Alright so what's up?" he asked, sitting down in the chair that sat before his large life support computer system that he was currently using to check his webpage.

She felt incredibly sick and did her best to suppress the feeling. No matter how much she wished she could handle this problem on or own and that it would go away she knew it wouldn't. There was no amount of praying and wishing that could take care of what she'd gotten herself into. She took a deep breath, licked her drying lips, and said, "I did something stupid."

He looked at her oddly. "Okay… what did you do?"

She held her arms close and avoided his gaze at all costs. "Something very very stupid."

"Yeah, you've established that. You did something really stupid. So what exactly did you do? Feed Gar a pork chop by accident?"

She shook her head, wishing it was something as trivial as a pork chop. She reached up and pinched her eyes, willing away tears. She took in a quick breath and pushed out, "I think I'm pregnant."

His smile quickly drained from his face and his one good eye went wide. "Pregnant?" he asked, hoping he'd misheard her.

She nodded, still looking away from his stare. "Pregnant."

"Okay, hold on. Why do you think you're pregnant?" he asked, grasping to some hope that she was overreacting. "You miss a period?"

"That and other things," she said uncomfortably. "I'm having symptoms attributed to both human and demon pregnancies. I'm fatigued, my body's changing, I'm craving red meat, I'm clinging to only Gar while being hostile to everyone else around me, and my body goes into panic mode when I'm about to put myself in danger. And… I sort of took one of Kori's pregnancy tests this morning. It came back positive."

"Christ," Cyborg breathed then groaned. "Yeah, that sounds like you're pregnant. Shit, Raven, how'd this happen? You guys were using protection, right?"

She turned away from him shamefully, to cover her tears. "I didn't think we needed to."

His jaw dropped. "Excuse me?!"

"You don't understand," she exclaimed turning back to him. "I shouldn't be able to get pregnant! Not by Gar, anyway. I'm a half-demon and female half-demons can only get pregnant by other demons. That's how the demonic bloodline is kept strong. So as long as I don't sleep with anyone with demon blood I can't get pregnant. But… But I am. And now I don't know what to think."

"So why are you telling me this? Isn't this something you should go over with Gar first?"

"I want to make sure before I say anything to him. I mean, I promised him that I couldn't get pregnant. He was so nervous about not using any protection and I swore that this wouldn't happen. So I need to be absolutely sure that I'm pregnant before I tell him."

He took a moment to think then stood up with a look of resolve. "Alright, let's go to the infirmary and do a blood test. Lucky for you it's full of baby equipment in preparation for Kori so we should be able to find out everything."

"Yes, I'm so lucky."

Upon arriving he took a blood sample and put it through the proper test to see if her hormones had changed. Raven went very quiet and seemed to go into deep thought while they waited. Cyborg wasn't sure what to tell her so he decided to use the time to download all of the information required for an obstetrician. He had been planning to do this once Starfire was pregnant, he always liked to be prepared, but figured this was as good a time as any to gain the needed knowledge. And just as it finished the results were available.

"This is it," he said, looking through the findings. "You ready?"

"No but I need to know," she sighed. "What's the call?"

"Well… I wish I could say Kori's test was defective but it wasn't. You're knocked up."

"Fuck." She folded over and grabbed her head. "What am I going to do? He's going to kill me."

"He's not gonna kill you. He's gonna have a lot of questions and, yeah, he's probably gonna be mad but he won't kill you. And you've got, what, eight months to prepare? Seven months?"

"Way less than that. Demonic pregnancies are quicker than that of humans. My mother gave birth to me in a quarter of the time it usually takes. So mine will be about half the time. Which I'm going to have to explain to Gar, since it's going to look like I conceived before we even started dating." She sighed and felt like crying again. "How did this happen? How the fuck did this happen? It's impossible. Humans can't impregnate a woman with demon blood. I've known this since I began puberty, it's a proven fact!"

"Well we are talking about Gar here."

"So? He's human. That's the point."

"True but he's also a shape shifter who has DNA that can transform into different species. And we've seen him change into creatures that aren't from this world. So if he's able to turn into alien organisms is it so farfetched to think that he could become something demonic? And that his DNA is able to change into something your body would see as acceptable genetic material? If you think about it, he's actually probably the only human in the universe that could get you pregnant."

None of this had ever occurred to her. "Dear Azar… Why hadn't I thought of that?" She felt like crying and she did in fact feel tears creep into the corner of her eyes. "I'm so stupid."

"Hey, come on," he reassured her, trying to touch her shoulder only to have her lean away and glare at him. He made sure to keep his distance. "There's no way you could've known that. You don't see him as a shape shifter, you see him as a human."

"Great, my acceptance of all people has landed me with a lifetime commitment."

He wanted to comfort her but wasn't sure how to do it without touching her. But he had to do something. "Would you like to do a sonogram to see your progress? We've got all of the equipment and I'll probably be able to pinpoint the time of conception."

"We might as well." She buried her eyes into her knees. "This can't be happening."

"Relax. Let's take a look and figure all of this out before you have another panic attack."

He unpacked and hooked up the equipment that had been meant for Starfire. Raven desperately wished she were able to reverse time and be more sensible, more logical. Of course Beast Boy's genetics could alter so that she could get pregnant by him. He was the one man she should have used protection with. And now she was carrying his child. What a fool she had been.

"Alright let's see what's going on in there," he said grabbing the sensor. "Lift your shirt and move your pants down a bit." She did as he asked and he squirted some jelly onto her lower abdomen before placing the sensor on it. It was already swollen with life. "Now that I can see your body it's pretty obvious you're pregnant. I can't believe none of us noticed sooner. Why didn't you notice sooner?"

"I told you, I thought this was impossible," she defended herself. "I thought I was just gaining weight. I haven't eaten pizza or processed food in years and I'm less active than I used to be. It was more plausible that I was getting fat than being pregnant. I feel stupid now for not acknowledging all of my symptoms sooner. I'm never going to forgive myself for this."

"Now don't go saying stuff like that," he said. "I don't think holding a grudge against yourself is the best way to bring a new life into the world." He moved the sensor a little bit then stopped. "Well… there it is."

She looked at the monitor and her breath caught in her throat. On the screen, amongst the various blobs, was the silhouette of a small being. Her porcelain fingers hit her lips as she stared in awe. "I'm really pregnant."

"No doubt about it."

"How far along does it look?"

"With these measurements I'd have to say about… wow, fourteen weeks. So, if you want to cut that in half, conception would be about seven weeks ago. So about two months."

She closed her eyes and breathed. "That sounds about right. Our first time was around two months ago." The moment she remembered that their courtship had only been slightly over three months was when she finally broke down and began to silently sob. "This can't be happening. We're not ready. I'm not ready. He's sure as hell not ready. We can't have a baby, we just… we can't."

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Well… you don't have to. I mean there are options available."

"No. I can't do that. I always swore that if I did become pregnant, whether it was a demon child or not, I wouldn't end its life before it began. My mother almost chose that path for me. I can't do it."

"Then you're going to have a baby, Raven. And at the rate you're going I'd say your baby's gonna have a gestation period of four and a half to five months. You're already almost halfway there."

"Fuck," she said through clenched teeth, protesting the reality of her situation. "That's too soon. I'm not ready for any of this." She wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself. "How am I going to tell Gar? And what about Dick and Kori? They'll never forgive me."

"Let's worry about one thing at a time. Want me to call him down here?"