Disclaimer: I do not, and never will, (darn it!) own Criminal Minds
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Manny, Evan and Reid got their sleeping bags set up and ready for the night. Manny was babbling in his usual manner, his English becoming more heavily accented with Spanish as it did when he became excited. He seemed oblivious to the fact that neither Evan nor Spencer was contributing to the conversation.
Spencer seemed very on edge, Evan thought, almost like a house of cards, if you dared touch it, it might break apart completely. Evan was very worried. This was so unlike his brother. Maybe he was tired, Evan thought. Maybe if he gets some sleep, he'll be better in the morning.
The three got into their sleeping bags, Manny still babbled and Evan answered him when he had no choice. Spencer closed his eyes immediately and Evan could see by the movement of his chest, he slept. Good. Manny had finally quieted as well. Evan, though, did not sleep. He just lied there keeping his eyes on his sleeping brother.
A little while later Reid started to moan and whimper and then his body started to shake. "Not weak, not weak," he kept repeating, as his body shook and moved from side to side as if trying to get out of someone's grasp. "No Tobias, no, I don't want it. Please, I don't want it."
Evan got out of his sleeping bag, not knowing whether he should wake his brother or not. He knelt beside Spencer and softly stroked his hair which was soaked with perspiration. There were also beads of sweat on his forehead. The shaking and thrashing about eased up but he continued to moan and whimper. His face looked pained.
Who was Tobias, Evan wondered? Was he a voice in his brother's head? Was this the schizophrenia that he was so afraid of? Oh God no please. Evan remembered the times when he was so sick, he had prayed so hard and asked God to help him and He had hadn't He? He'd sent him Spencer. Evan continued to kneel like he'd been taught, bowed his head and closed his eyes but instead of putting his hands together, he continued to stroke Spencer's hair.
"Dear God, I haven't talked to You in a while like I should. I used to talk to You all the time when I was sick, You were probably sick of me always asking You to help make me better. But You did make me better; You sent me Spencer. So I gotta ask You again, not for me this time but for my brother. He's the greatest guy but I guess You know that. Please, please," Evan's voice cracked and tears started to meander down his cheeks, "Don't make him have schizophrenia. I love him so much. I need him." Evan whispered the last words in desperation. "Please help him. Amen."
Evan remembered when he was a little boy his mom used to sing him lullabies at night to soothe him to sleep. He didn't think Spencer cared for lullabies but he knew an old song that his mother sometimes played. She said it was a big hit when she was a kid. He cleared he throat and started to sing very softly.
The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows when.
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
So on we go
His welfare is my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another.
It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on our way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
When Evan finished singing he noticed that Spencer was no longer moaning, whimpering, shaking or thrashing about. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Evan considered bringing his sleeping bag over next to Spencer, but he thought it might disturb him. He didn't want to go back to his sleeping bag so Evan lied down uncovered on the hard floor of the tent beside Reid.
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Reid awoke to the loud chirping of birds, momentarily confused, until he realized where he was; in a tent on a camping trip with Evan. He looked up to see the object of his thoughts lying on the floor of the tent beside him. Why wasn't Evan in his sleeping bag? Had he heard some animal noises and been frightened? He should have brought his sleeping bag over. He must be uncomfortable sleeping on the hard tent floor with no cushioning between him and the ground, not to mention, cold. He touched the boy gently. "Hey Evan, hey buddy," he spoke softly. Evan opened his eyes looking at his older brother. "Hi, what are you doing over here? Did you have a scare in the night? You should have brought your sleeping bag over, you can't have been comfortable like that," he indicated the bare floor with his hand.
Evan sat up, looking intently at Spencer, studying his face for some sign of what he had seen in his brother yesterday. But this morning he saw nothing. Spencer looked as he always did. He looked his brother in the eye and said, "I was worried about you. Something was wrong with you yesterday and then last night you were making these noises and talking to somebody named Tobias. I was worried about it being the schizophrenia so I slept here to keep an eye on you."
Reid hung his head, the last thing he wanted was for Evan to worry and lose sleep over him. "It's not schizophrenia," he told his brother reassuringly.
"Then what is it?"
"It's the result of something that happened to me on a case. I'll tell you more about it when we get home. I was hoping not to have to tell you at all but I'd rather tell you than have you worry."
A look of total relief washed over Evan's face after Spencer told him there was a logical reason for what he had seen. He knew he could handle whatever it was; Spencer had no cause to worry about that, Evan thought. He touched his brother on the shoulder, "You're okay, really."
"Yes, I'm okay. As I said, I'll explain it back at home, just know, these things may happen from time to time until my issues are satisfactorily resolved."
They could hear their fellow campers beginning to stir outside the tent. "Well, should we wake up Manny and get a start on our day," Reid invited, smiling his radiant smile encouragingly at Evan. Evan smiled back and nodded, getting up and heading over to rouse Manny.
Some of the campers, it appeared had been up earlier. Lyle and a couple of the boys had gone down to the shore to fish and had been lucky enough to come back with some catfish and bass, which were now in a pan on the grate over the fire pit. At first Reid was concerned. The aroma of cooking fish was immediately nauseating to him now but being cooked out here the smell was not confined and was almost negated by all the natural smells around him. At least that's what he told himself when he had no reaction, although he refused to partake of the fish. Why tempt fate, he thought. He settled for some coffee and a couple of cereal bars they'd packed in their rations.
Lyle had planned another hike for the group and this time they all went. Reid tried hard to concentrate on the hike and what his companions were doing and not think about the sound of the leaves or the feeling of the earth beneath his feet. Lyle was naming the trees, most of which were predominantly ash. They were green ash Reid explained, "Fraximus pennsylvanica as opposed to white ash, Fraximus americana," when a large bird dove down from overhead.
"That's a red tailed hawk," Lyle supplied for the boys.
"Bateo jamaicenis," Reid said, giving the boys the bird's scientific name. "It's the most common and widespread hawk in North America. They use the raspy cry of this hawk in movies and television all over the world to represent an eagle or hawk. There must be a female around here somewhere because that diving is part of their mating ritual." All the boys except Evan's mouths opened in awe of all that Spencer knew about the subject. Evan simply smiled and heaved a sigh of relief. This was his brother.
Off in the distance there was the chirping of some brown thrashers. Lyle identified them for the boys who turned to look expectantly at Spencer. "Oh," he said, "Toxostoma rufum, part of the mockingbird family. They are able to call in up to three thousand distinct songs."
The hike continued with Lyle pointing out things of interest to the boys and Spencer giving some obscure fact about the object be it an animal, tree, plant or bird. Wayne Dressler whispered to Les Hollister, "Is there anything he doesn't know?"
Evan who was standing beside them at the time smiled and whispered to no one in particular, "Not much!"
On the return to camp Lyle said they needed more firewood and Evan jumped up saying he and Manny would go. Reid said he would go with them but Evan said he thought he and Manny could handle it. Lyle reminded them about laying a trail for themselves and to make sure they had their whistles in case they needed help. The boys said they understood and headed off to gather the wood. Manny made a left turn but Evan stayed him with a hand on his arm, "Spencer and I went that way yesterday, we probably picked a lot of the stuff from there. Let's go this way instead," he indicated an area off to the right. Manny was agreeable and the boys turned right and began to gather kindling.
Manny was picking up some fallen branches when he heard Evan call out quietly, "Manny come here, quick." Manny turned and ran to Evan, who was standing by a tree looking into a clearing. Expecting to see a baby deer, Manny gasped when he saw what Evan was looking at. Evan said, "Manny, run back to the camp and get Spencer."