Chapter 11 – Diggle's POV

Oliver's guilt

Call to Thea

Bonding with Felicity

Diggle had been in Afghanistan twice and faced so many intense situations throughout his life in and out of battle field. Hell, he was married to a secret agent and was managing a private security firm for years. But nothing could have prepared him to face the shock of finding Oliver Queen sleeping with Felicity Smoak, his head on her chest and her arms around his torso.

It was nearly six in the morning and Diggle knew that Oliver should be awake by now. He came home late last night and he wanted to know who would go to the hospital today and wait with Sara until Donna comes home and gets some rest.

Diggle thought that Oliver would prefer that he asked from Oliver before asking Felicity to go to the hospital. That's why he told Raisa to prepare a quick breakfast and opened Oliver's door just knocking once, calling him.

"Oliver, I know you are awake already. I told Raisa to make a…" And Diggle was stopped by the scene in front of him.

Oliver was already waking up by Diggle's voice and if he wasn't shocked by the unexpected vision, it would have been hilarious to see Oliver confused over the state he woke up to.

Oliver looked at Diggle blinking away the sleep and slowly turned his head to see the bundle of blond hair on his arms. Oliver looked stunned by the vision and he tried to extricate himself from Felicity's hold. Which managed to wake up a very sleepy Felicity who hummed in a low murmur and snuggled back to him.

Diggle noticed the first moment when Oliver came to his full senses. His eyes widened and breath stuck. Oliver again looked at Felicity and then looked at Diggle. Oliver was lost.

"Felicity…" After a second, Oliver called her again trying to release himself from her arms.

"Let me sleep…" Felicity mumbled sleepily and turned her head deep into his chest.

Oliver moved out of her body as if he was struck by electric shock, stumbling and throwing his comfort away, which finally managed to wake up Felicity.

Then it was Felicity's turn to look confused. She got to her senses faster than Oliver and stumbled out of Oliver's bed quickly as if she was sleeping in a bed of snakes.

Diggle slowly took in the scene in front of him.

There was Oliver who was only in his boxer shorts and looking at Felicity with a shocked expression. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, forgetting his clutches.

There was Felicity who was in her pajama bottoms and a tank top, with a very messy bed hair, staring at Oliver with a look of surprise mixed with fear.

And there was he, Diggle standing at the door of the room, very shocked and slightly amused by the situation.

It was Oliver who broke the stunning silence.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed, Felicity?"

Felicity blinked and took a step back.

"What?"

Oliver was getting angrier by the second.

"I asked you, what the hell are you doing in my bed?" Oliver growled. He looked like a hurt animal, which was defending himself.

Felicity shook her head as if she was clearing her head and looked at both Diggle and Oliver.

"You had a nightmare last night. You were screaming and moaning. I couldn't sleep and then I …"

"Then you came in and slept by my side?" Oliver thrashed at her,

"No…" Felicity took another step back and hit on Oliver's bedside lamp.

Oliver was glaring at her.

"I tried to wake you up and you didn't wake. You were shaking and whimpering. So I sat down on the bed and tried to cover you with the comforter which had fallen down from the bed. And you suddenly grabbed me and kept your head on my lap and then…"

Felicity's voice died at the end and she banded her arms around herself.

"You had no right to come into my room, let alone wake me up." Oliver's words were interrupted by Felicity's angry voice.

"Are you saying that I should have left you to your nightmare and stuff my head into my pillow and sleep?"

"Yes." Oliver shouted at her.

Felicity looked shocked at his outburst.

"You were screaming, Oliver." She exclaimed.

"So what?" he shouted back at her.

Felicity was speechless. Diggle had never seen Felicity speechless. She always had things to say. She always had an opinion. Yet, now she was wordlessly staring at Oliver.

After a moment of silence Felicity started with a voice which clearly showed her pain.

"I'm sorry, if I contaminated your bed or something, okay. I just couldn't sleep when someone next door was screaming in pain. I tried to help you in any way I could. I'm sorry, Oliver. I didn't want to sleep beside you. I thought that I could wait until you were out of the nightmare and then walk away. I just fall asleep before that. And I'm really sorry for that."

Felicity's voice was trembling. She bit her bottom lip and looked down at her feet.

Diggle felt Oliver's anger slipping away and he realized that Oliver was holding to his anger tightly so he can hide his pain. Oliver loved Felicity. There must have been so many times Oliver imagined having Felicity in his bed, in his arms. But not like this, in his worst moment, at his most vulnerable place, this was a nightmare for Oliver. Diggle realized.

"You shouldn't have come to my room at all, Felicity. What if I had hurt you in my sleep?" Oliver's voice was now calmed. He was trying his best to not sound hurt.

Felicity looked worse. She clutched the hem of her top tightly and blinked her eyes. She was trying desperately to not cry, Diggle was sure.

"You wouldn't ever hurt me. I know that." She said in a barely detectable voice.

Oliver's face coiled in pain. Diggle could practically hear what Oliver was thinking.

'If you knew how much I have hurt you, Felicity.'

"Felicity…" Oliver started.

"I was going to leave the room once I get here and get Diggle to wake you up, but then you…"

"I don't want to hear anything anymore, Felicity. I have to go to the hospital, to Sara." Oliver interrupted her.

Felicity flinched as if he slapped her.

Oliver didn't show if he saw that and took his clutches and limped out of the room to the bathroom.

Felicity waited until he left and slumped onto the bed again and put her head into her hands.

"Felicity…" Diggle started.

Felicity lifted her head and looked at him. Her eyes were blazing with tears. Her face paled.

"He called my name, John." She said.

Diggle flinched.

Her lips trembled.

"I was going to leave the room and he just called my name. He said 'Felicity, please' and I couldn't leave."

Two drops of tear ran through her face towards her chin.

Felicity wiped them off with her hands and stood up from the bed. Diggle gazed at her trying to figure out what to say. He wanted so much to see both of them at peace. They were both hurting. And neither deserved what they were going through.

"Would you like to go to the hospital?" He finally asked her.

Felicity shook her head.

"No, John, Oliver is going to see his girlfriend. I don't want to intrude on them. He… he would want to be alone with her. He wouldn't want me there."

Diggle wanted so much to tell her that Sara was not Oliver's girlfriend. That Sara was not the woman Oliver loved. But that was Oliver's choice. Diggle knew that Oliver's reasons were not fair but nevertheless they were reasons.

Felicity gave him a wary smile. "I better go now, John. Oliver will come out and get angry with me again. I don't want to make my host resentful at me again. See you at the dinner, then."

And she left.

Diggle sighed and sat on the couch in the room, waiting for Oliver to come out.

Diggle felt sorry for both of them. They were both good people.

Oliver was in love with Felicity and was already hurt from her rejection before that awful accident. After the accident, his situation became worse. Now he was suffering from guilt and terrible nightmares came as a reward. The constant reminder of Felicity's fate because of him was slowly killing Oliver. Yet, he still loved her.

Felicity was a pure soul. Diggle didn't know why she rejected Oliver before, but he knew that she was not a bad person. And she was attracted to Oliver too. She was somehow convinced that Oliver was not the person for her. And now, she was seeing Oliver at his most vulnerable state and she was falling for him. Yes, Felicity Smoak was falling for Oliver Queen. Diggle could clearly see that.

Felicity didn't remember anything from her past and Oliver was suffering because he remembered everything from their past. And they loved each other stubbornly.

But the million dollar question was, whether they can put aside what was in their past and move on with their new found feelings.

The bathroom door opened and Oliver came out.

"I'll wait with Sara until Donna takes a rest here, Diggs. You can drop me at the hospital and bring Donna home." Oliver said.

"Oliver…"

"Dig, I don't want to talk about what happened in here before. We should focus on Sara now. Leave the rest behind us, please." Oliver said.

"Okay. I'll meet you at the front door in ten minutes then." Diggle agreed and left the room.

…

Journey to the hospital was as silent as Diggle imagined it would be. Oliver was sulking in his own world. He was staring out of the window and Diggle kept his eyes on the road. When they reached the hospital, Oliver talked to the doctors and Donna informed Diggle that Sara was getting better again.

Oliver waited at the hospital with Sara and Diggle brought Donna back home.

In the evening when he was getting ready to go to the hospital and bring Oliver back, Oliver called him and told him that he would be staying the night in the hospital with Sara and that there was no need for Diggle to come to the hospital. Diggle didn't argue with Oliver knowing that it would be fruitless.

Oliver was stubborn to his last breath and he was definitely upset with himself for the way he behaved in the morning. And probably he is now guilt tripping himself, imagining the ways he could have acted without hurting Felicity more. Diggle knew by experience that it was better to leave Oliver to himself when he was in this mood. So he could process what happened and find a way to figure out things.

Felicity was present at the dinner as usual and didn't say anything when Diggle told her that Oliver is staying the night with Sara. She was uncharacteristically silent during the dinner and Donna was too tired to notice. But Diggle noticed. He knew that Felicity was hurting. She was showing her brave face to the world and Diggle was not fooled by that.

So, when Thea called him for her usual talk, Diggle told her what happened.

"Are you saying me that Ollie with his crutches and everything, stayed at the hospital, with Sara?" Thea asked.

"Yes, Thea. He said he wants to be with her. What could I say? At least Sara is getting better now. And being at her bedside alone, Oliver will have time to think things through." Diggle replied.

"No, Diggs, no… This is so bad. Oh my… What was Ollie thinking?" Thea was noticeably upset.

"What? Look Thea, Oliver is suffering too. You know him better than me. He is keeping all his worries inside himself and brooding." Diggle said.

"I'm not much concerned about that now Diggle. Ollie is strong. He can hold himself. But I'm concerned about Felicity." Thea stated.

"Why?" Diggle asked.

"Because, Felicity doesn't know that Ollie is staying at the hospital to brood. She'll think that Ollie loves Sara so much that he is worried that Felicity was getting closer to him, and he spent the night at the hospital, with his injured leg so he could stay away from Felicity. And worse, she will think that Oliver hates her so much that he rather stays at the bedside of his unconscious girlfriend. She must be so worried Diggle. If she is falling in love with Ollie as you say, she will be hurting like hell."

Diggle knew all these things before, but after Thea's words he felt the intensity of the situation.

"And Felicity is not completely healed either. Donna said me two days ago that Felicity is still suffering from nightmares every night. She is in a fragile condition. She doesn't remember the people she loved, the ones who loved her. All she has is us. So, the first person she felt close was Ollie and now he is completely avoiding her."

Thea was talking at hundred miles per minute.

"Thea, I'll talk to Felicity tomorrow morning, or better I'll talk to Oliver." Diggle started.

"No, Diggs. I'm coming there. I'll arrange our jet. Just give me three hours to arrange things here and I'll be there for afternoon tea tomorrow." Thea said.

"Your company?" Diggle asked.

"Things are settled down here. Isabel was put in her place again. Walter can manage things for a few days. I'll come there and talk to both of them. I made this mess by telling Felicity that Sara was Ollie's girlfriend. I'll clear it myself." Thea said.

After that they arranged her arrival here and talked about her club a bit.

Long after the call, when he was trying to sleep in his bed, Diggle remembered something Thea said.

She said that Donna had told her that Felicity was suffering from nightmares too. But last night she wasn't suffering from them. Instead Felicity was soothing Oliver out of his misery. And Felicity said that she fell asleep while calming him down. Obviously both Oliver and Felicity woke up after Diggle entered that room.

That means that both of them slept peacefully when they were in each other's arms.

"That's interesting…" Diggle said to himself and adjusted his pillow again.