Chapter 12

Haley tip toed quietly through the apartment to avoid waking up her friends and sister. She had managed to get ready in a short twenty minutes without alerting any of the other occupants of the apartment and was hoping to keep it that way.

"Hales?" she heard Lily's disoriented voice call out as she tried to discretely walk past the den. "Where are you going this early on a Saturday?"

Haley took a step into the room in hopes that Lily would lower her voice at their closer proximity. "I just have something to take care of."

She watched Lily furrow her brow still confused and quickly continued speaking softly. "Do you want me to give you a ride home now or after I get back? I shouldn't be too long."

After contemplating for a minute, Lily rose from her laying position. Once standing she stretched dramatically and winced as her back cracked loudly. "Remind me why we all slept on the hard ground?"

"Brooke wanted it to feel like one of our high school slumber parties," Haley chuckled.

"Well it didn't do any favours to any part of my body," Lily whined as she followed Haley out of the apartment.

It was a quick drive to her childhood home. The entire way Lily had pestered her to confess what was so important that she had to be up so early to on a weekend. Haley tried her best to shrug off the questions and came up with a lie about something work related that she had to finish.

As Lily hopped out of the passenger seat Haley sighed under her breath. It didn't escape her that in the past week since her break up with Chris, she had told more lies than she had in her life. It was also beginning to get easier for her to think of them quickly and make those around her believe them. She was starting to scare herself, but she knew it was impossible to be honest with her friends and family without having them constantly worrying about her.

"Hey Lily?" she caught her sister's attention as she went to close the car door.

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favour and don't tell Mom or Dad about me and Nathan hooking up again."

Lily shrugged and nodded in compliance. "Sure, whatever," she responded and waved good bye before closing the door.

Walking into the busy cafe Haley surveyed each of the tables and found that Nathan had yet to arrive. She caught Deb's eye metres away and smiled at the older woman as she began moving towards her.

"Haley! What are you doing here so early?" Deb exclaimed when the younger woman met her at the back counter of the cafe.

Haley shrugged with a smile. "I'm meeting a friend for breakfast."

Deb nodded in understanding and gestured to one of the stools opposite her. "Have a seat. I haven't seen very much of you lately. How's everything going? Your mom told me about what happened with Chris," she spoke sympathetically and frowned. "I never did like him."

"You're one of many people who didn't," Haley laughed. When she was with Chris the only person that voiced their dislike of her boyfriend was Lily. Now that they weren't together anymore, it seemed as though everyday someone new was expressing how much they didn't like him and how wrong they thought her and Chris were for each other all along. "I'm doing alright with it. Just taking everything one day at a time, you know?"

"Yeah," she nodded and looked at her with a little more concern. "Lucas told me what happened the other night."

Haley wasn't really surprised that Deb knew about her and Lucas' encounter with Chris and Carrie. Lucas and his mom were incredibly close since his father abandoned Deb before he was born. Her best friend told his mom pretty much everything about his life as well as Haley's because she had pretty much been a permanent fixture in the Lee household early on. Between Lucas and her mother, Haley was sure Deb knew just about everything there was to know about what was going on in her life.

"It definitely sucked seeing them in our old apartment together," she admitted in defeat. This was the first time that she was really beginning to open up about how affected she was by everything that had been taking place lately. "Actually, the whole thing has sucked a lot. I don't really know how to move on with my life after he was such a big part of it for such a long time."

"Coming from someone who's experienced a major heartbreak like this; it's going to take time to heal. You can't expect it to happen overnight and you have to rely on the people who love and care about you right now more than ever. They'll be the ones that help you move on and get back into the dating ring."

"That's like the exact opposite of what I've been doing," Haley winced guiltily. She was more than aware of the fact that she was shutting out her loved ones, but as much as she didn't want to it still kept happening on its own.

Deb furrowed her brow in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I haven't really been leaning on anyone. I've taken to getting drunk to deal with it instead," she confessed, focussing her gaze on her chipped nail polish to avoid seeing the disappointed expression Deb was surely sporting now.

"Oh, Haley," she whispered softly. It pained her to hear how much her surrogate daughter was hurting.

Haley forced a bright smile on her face a second later. She sighed in relief when the bell above the door chimed and she turned around to see Nathan entering. At least she was escaping further questioning for now. "My friend's here now. I'll talk to you later, Deb."

"Isn't that the same guy you came with to have breakfast last week?" Deb asked before Haley had a chance to walk away.

"Yeah," Haley returned and immediately caught wind of the assumption Deb was making and widened her eyes. "No! We're just friends and he's been really good about helping me with everything."

Technically she was telling the truth. Her and Nathan really were just friends and had recently began utilizing that friendship for other things, but nothing romantic was going on."

Deb nodded sceptically but didn't stop her from greeting Nathan again. Haley wasted no time in walking over to him and flashed a sweet smile. "Hi."

"Hey," Nathan smirked at her. "So, is this like our designated spot now?"

"No, I just happen to love Deb and her food. Don't go thinking you're special because I come here with you, buddy. This is where I eat with everyone."

He chuckled softly and followed her as she led them to the same booth they sat in the last time they visited the quaint cafe. "So, what have you summoned me here for at such an early hour on one of our days off?"

"I have a proposition for you," Haley mirrored his previous smirk and it widened when Nathan raised his brows intrigued. He signalled for her to continue speaking but she held her tongue when she saw a waitress approaching their table.

The duo quickly ordered their meals and were once again left alone in their quiet corner. "So..?" Nathan started again.

Haley couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up. Nathan sure was eager to find out what she had to offer him. "Well, I had a girl's night last night and I got to thinking about what we've been doing lately. I just got out of a relationship and need someone to have meaningless hook ups with and you're always looking for girls. I figured why don't we both help each other out and do a friends with benefits type thing?"

Nathan thought over her suggestion for a moment before he began nodding slowly in agreement. "I like the way you think, James."

"I thought you would," Haley commented confidently. "So does that mean you wanna do this?"

"A girl is offering me no strings attached sex? Hell yes we're doing this!"

"Alright, well we need to establish some ground rules. First, no one from work can find out about this."

"Yeah, well that's kind of a given," Nathan joked. They both knew that if their arrangement ever got back to Andy then both their jobs would be in jeopardy. "We should probably try to tell as few people as possible to avoid that happening."

"I agree. Everything else is pretty obvious."

Nathan smiled at the blonde across from him. They hadn't even officially started their arrangement, but he already knew it was going to rock. He no longer had to settle for random, clingy bar sluts to satisfy his needs. Instead, he had a pretty and smart girl that he didn't need to feel bad for using. This could easily qualify as the best situation he had ever found himself in.

"We're here!" Haley called out as she stepped into her parent's house and closed the door behind Brooke.

The two girls were there for the weekly Sunday dinner at the James home. Haley had missed the last few dinners and had decided to show up early for this one to make up for it. As she was leaving, she saw that Brooke was still home and invited her too. Brooke was basically another addition to the family anyway.

"In the kitchen!" Lydia called out and both girls promptly followed the sound of the older woman's voice.

When they entered the room they saw that Lydia was already cooking. She turned around when she heard them behind her and smiled brightly. "It's so good to see the both of you! I feel like it's been a long time."

Haley hugged her mom and Brooke did the same before she went back to cooking. "So, what's been new with you girls? Lily told me about the girl's night you had on Friday that was nice of you to let her join."

"Nothing much is new, I've been working a lot after getting that promotion a couple weeks ago."

"Yeah, same. Business at the store is starting to pick up a bit."

Before any of the women had a chance to say anything more, they heard the sound of the front door swinging open and two people stumbling in. A few moments later Lily and a tall blonde boy entered the room. She smiled at the sight of her sister and Brooke and turned to her guest.

"Jason, you remember my sister Haley?" she asked and gestured to Haley from across the room. "And this is her best friend Brooke Davis," she then pointed to Brooke.

"Hi Haley, it's nice seeing you again. Nice to meet you Brooke," he smiled and waved politely.

Haley returned his smile civilly. After talking to her sister on Friday night about him, it was safe to say she was not Jason's number one fan. In fact, she was waiting patiently for her sister to realize she could do so much better than some athletic star playboy.

"Lily! You've been holding out! You never told me how cute your boyfriend was!" Brooke exclaimed in surprise. She knew Lily was a pretty girl, but her description of her boyfriend didn't do him justice. For a high school guy he was pretty good looking.

Lily blushed beet red and laughed uncomfortably. Haley rolled her eyes when Jason flashed a confident smirk at her friend. Did he not realize he was like seven years younger than them and standing next to his girlfriend?

Haley sat back as Lily and Jason took a seat at the table with her and Brooke. She figured it was best if she kept her mouth shut to avoid saying something that might get her in trouble. When the subject of relationships came up and everyone's knowing gaze was on her she shook her head and looked to Brooke to change the topic. Her break up with Chris was still a touchy subject and apparently one that her family couldn't stop talking about when she was around. She wasn't about to talk about now though, it would only serve to ruin her night. It had been brought up though, and that was enough to get her thinking about him.

About an hour passed and the family had finally sat down to eat. Haley had lost her appetite much earlier when her family wouldn't stop bringing up either Chris or her hookup with Nathan at their Christmas party. She hated that the most intimate details of her personal life were common knowledge amongst everyone. From across the table Lydia noticed that Haley only seemed to be pushing her food back and forth instead of ingesting it. She watched her daughter continue the action for another five minutes sporting a confused expression.

"Haley sweetie, why aren't you eating?" Lydia spoke up concern evident in her voice.

Haley shrugged and met her mother's gaze. "I'm just not really hungry."

The older woman frowned. "Have you eaten at all today?"

"Mom, I'm fine," Haley sighed. She didn't have the energy to deal with her overbearing mother right now.

"I'm just saying, we all remember your tendencies when you're depressed," she said pointedly and Haley immediately knew where the conversation was headed and felt herself becoming defensive.

"I'm not depressed!" Haley defended loudly. "I love all you guys for caring, but I can take care of myself and I'd appreciate it if we could leave it at that."

"We're just worried about you, Pumpkin," Jimmy spoke up in a soothing tone. "We know you just broke up with Chris and you guys were together for a long time. None of us want to see you go back to how you were when your grandfather died."

There it was. She couldn't say she was surprised that someone brought it up, but it still hurt all the same. Her grandfather's death in sophomore year was an event that would always weigh heavily on her heart. Growing up she had been incredibly close with her grandpa Whitey and considered him to be one of the most important people in her life. When he died suddenly just after she turned sixteen, Haley had taken it the hardest of anyone. She shut down completely and wouldn't talk to anyone. It was after she had lost almost fifteen pounds in a month that her parents finally decided they needed to do something more than just letting Haley deal with her grief herself. They took her to their family doctor and he diagnosed the teenager with depression and acute anorexia.

Haley had been confused about being diagnosed with the eating disorder. She had always thought that people that suffered with anorexia forced themselves to throw up and didn't eat as a means to stay thin. That wasn't the case for her; she just didn't see the point in eating anymore. Food no longer had a taste and it required too much energy to eat.

After being put on anti depressants for a little while and attending grief counselling, Haley got back on track. She was more than aware that her friends and family were worried sick about her during this time in her life and had yet to forget what happened to her. It was something she tried as hard as she could to push to the back of her mind, but it was hard to do when every time something remotely bad happened to her everyone around her assumed she'd shut down again.

"Excuse me. I need some air," she said softly while standing from her chair. She walked quickly out of the room and the remaining occupants heard the sliding glass door to the deck open and close.

Brooke watched Lydia begin to rise from her chair to follow her daughter and Lily whisper something to Jason as she began to move as well. She put her hands up to stop their motions and offered a calming smile. "I got it," she said and exhaled in relief when her friend's mom and sister didn't object. They knew deep down that Brooke was probably more suited for the job this time anyway.

Brooke slowly slid open the patio door and walked onto the deck clutching two beers. The outside lights were off so she could only just make out Haley's form sitting atop the railing. She smiled nostalgically remembering all the times they had done that back in high school. Brooke quietly approached Haley and handed her one of the beers in her hand when she turned around slightly. Haley smiled in thanks timidly and went back to staring out at the expanse of her back yard. She felt Brooke gingerly hop up onto the railing beside her and swing her legs over so they were hanging off the deck like Haley's.

Haley twisted the cap off her beer and took a long swig. "Do you remember the last time we were out here like this?"

"Just the two of us? It was junior year after Lucas told me he was in love with Peyton and broke up with me. You sat here with me all night as I cried and we ate at least a gallon of ice cream and cookie dough," she remembered.

Haley nodded and let a soft smile grace her features. "We've spent a lot of time out here."

"We have," Brooke agreed and fell silent to let the night's noises fill the air surrounding them. "You wanna tell me what's going through your head?"

"I hate when they bring that time in my life up," she whispered sadly. "I understand that it was hard for them to see me so depressed and they worry about me now, but I'm the one that lived with the depression. Don't they realize that I'm never going to let myself become so depressed as to develop anorexia again? It was the worst few months of my life and I never want to go back to that feeling."

"They know you won't let yourself go there again, but it doesn't stop everyone that loves you from being scared that it could happen."

"I'm not some fragile child, Brooke! I don't need everyone tip-toeing around me and worrying that the next dramatic event in my life will send me on another downward spiral."

"You have to cut us some slack, Hales," Brooke defended with a sigh. She got where her friend was coming from, but it didn't change what happened in the past and the ever present possibility of it happening again. "We all care about you so much that when assholes like Chris take advantage of you and hurt you, we get scared that something might happen again. We know it probably won't but we're scared because we love you. Now, what do you say to going back inside and finishing dinner with our family?"

"You go ahead, I just want to sit out here for a while. I need a break from it all."

"In that case, I'll keep you company," Brooke replied and took a long sip from her beer. "We can reminisce about our high school days spent out here."

"Yeah," Haley agreed quietly. "Everything was so much easier back then."

"Sometimes. Adulthood isn't so bad though, and when it is we've got each other to lean on," she looked pointedly at her best friend, easily instilling the message that she was there for her. Brooke wrapped a comfortable arm around Haley's shoulders and pulled them closer together. "I love you, Hales."

"I love you too, Brooke," she replied truthfully. She couldn't ask for a better best friend and she was more than grateful for the support Brooke was providing her with. Without even really discussing her problems Haley felt a load off her shoulders and let herself relax in the company of her friend for the first time in what felt like forever.