Anthropomorphosis

"Oi," Hisagi said gruffly, raising his fingers into a V-shape in the air. "Two more."

Unbeknownst to him, Captain Hisagi Shuuhei was occupying a bar down the street from the one his fellow Shinigami was currently disrupting. He wasn't having quite as pleasant an evening as Yumichika was, however; surrounded by obnoxious college students, it had taken him fifteen minutes to get his first pint of beer. And after waiting around for an additional ten for his second round, he figured that getting two of the dark drinks at a time would be the way to go.

A pair of girls were looking at him, but he could care less. In the outfit that Yumichika had picked out for him – a button-up black shirt and dark grey slacks – he wasn't surprised to find that the eyes of some silly college students had managed to drift over to him. As flattered as he normally would have been, he was on a mission now that needed his full concentration. He was trying to wash away his boring afternoon.

Back at the Urahara shop, it had felt as though his teammates were each holding plans of their own, and therefore negating his role as their leader. Which was something he didn't entirely mind. The men on this team were all friends of his – with Ulquiorra fitting into a slightly more "neutral acquaintance" category; so shouting orders at them hadn't exactly been Hisagi's plan anyway. Regardless, they'd still had a mission to accomplish, personal goals or not.

Yet the trio of Soul Society's elite had pretty much shrugged off their duties to pursue more personal matters. While Kurosaki was more than likely questioning his Shinigami father about possible Arrancar activity, Hisagi had a suspicion that Ichigo would end up making a bit of a family reunion out of the evening. The fact that the orange-haired captain's reiatsu had stayed in one spot for most of the night only served to further support this belief.

Ulquiorra had vanished before Hisagi had even been able to ask him to do anything. The Arrancar had completely masked his spiritual energy throughout the entire afternoon; Hisagi wouldn't have been able to sense Ulquiorra Schiffer if he'd wanted to. Although, he had a sneaking suspicion that the green-eyed lieutenant had gone to visit an old acquaintance of his. If this was true, Hisagi had absolutely no desire to interfere with that situation.

And he held even less of a need to know Yumichika's whereabouts. He had learned a long time ago to ignore the eleventh division's lieutenant whenever they were in the real world together. The last time he'd been in Karakura with the effeminate Shinigami, a good portion of the mission's budget was spent on bailing them out of jail. If Ayasegawa wanted to once more end up behind bars, Shuuhei wasn't going with him.

Again.

All of this only served to force Hisagi into being acting on his own. Solo missions weren't exactly a foreign concept to him; most of his missions had been covert ones that Captain-commander Unohana had sent him on alone. In fact, he rather enjoyed working alone – it meant that he never had to worry. He never had to worry about cleaning up someone else's mess, and he never had to worry if a partner was fully capable in his own tasks.

That said, Hisagi could have used a little bit of back-up this afternoon.

It's not that he couldn't talk to the Sado family without any help, but when one considered all the trouble that Soul Society had brought upon Sado Yasutora and his wife, Tatsuki, having a more familiar face at his side could have made things a tad smoother. The two feisty humans had obviously been on the defensive with Hisagi the entire conversation, each Hollow-related question being met with a short Hollow-related answer. The same had gone for the Asano and Kojima households. Ichigo's former companions had answered all of Hisagi's questions, but they hadn't seemed happy about it.

Shuuhei couldn't exactly blame them.

The man behind the bar counter finally walked over to Hisagi and handed him the two pints of the beer he'd ordered five minutes earlier. Hisagi immediately allowed half of one glass to vanish down his throat, the smooth drink hitting his stomach with cool pleasure. The last time he'd been in Karakura town, Yumichika and Ikkaku had convinced him to try this black drink. And ever since, he'd been craving another of the Irish stouts. For some reason, once he'd drink one, he couldn't seem to stop.

Hmm, he thought to himself as he finished the second half of the glass in one swallow, the alcohol already beginning to take effect in the mugginess of the bar, maybe it's not completely Yumi's fault we ended up in jail.

"I like your tattoos," a slurred voice came up alongside him, snapping Hisagi out of his thoughts. He looked over to his right to see that one of the two girls had approached him and slid a chair next to him. "Especially the numbers on your cheek."

Please don't, he thought as he sipped from his drink, call me 'Sexy Cheeks'. The girl was cute, but she wasn't thatcute. No one was cute enough to get away with calling him that stupid nickname. Hisagi hadn't even known that the two numbers meant anything lewd when he'd gotten them; he was just paying homage to his former idol. But once Abarai had made a mentioning of the tattoo's double meaning, he'd never been able to live it down within his circle of friends. He'd already had to fight hard to get his division to refrain from calling him "Captain Sexy Cheeks."

He sometimes wondered if Muguruma Kensei had dealt with this bullshit, too.

"Thanks," Hisagi said casually, turning to face her.

"What do they mean?" she asked as her face drooped forward, a bit too close for comfort. Hisagi leaned back slightly, his brow furrowing at the intoxicated teenager's sloppy movements.

"Not much," he replied shortly, turning away from her to once more face the bar, "just some numbers for an old hero of mine."

"Really?" the girl asked with a chuckle, causing Hisagi to cringe. "Because my friend and I were thinking about how those numbers could mean all sorts of fun thin—"

"Holy shit!"

By some gracious act of God, the bartender yelled loudly and cut the girl off before she could finish her ridiculous statement. Hisagi whipped his eyes up only to see that the man in front of him was pointing out the window at the head of the bar. The Shinigami didn't even get his line of sight to the glass pane before he felt Yumichika's reiatsu surge forward at him through the air. Across the plaza that sat in front of the small pub, a grey plume of smoke was rising up from between a set of buildings.

Hisagi leapt up from his seat quickly, ready to dart out of the tavern. He stopped suddenly and turned back to the bar, picking up his second beer and pouring it all down his throat before whipping around and bolting out the door. He smiled slightly as he heard the bartender yelling for him to come back; Shuuhei was happy he was walking out on the bad service. It was a small bit of justice that would have even made Tousen proud.

Hisagi burst out into the humid night, his shoes clicking on the pavement as he rushed across the cement courtyard. He searched through his pants pocket before pulling out the small gikongan dispenser, reaching up and popping the small green pill into his mouth as he sprinted. His soul burst out from his gigai,his captain's haorifluttering as he looked back over his shoulder at the fake body.

"Go find somewhere safe!" he yelled out as he ran, the artificial soul nodding and dashing off in another direction.

Hisagi quickly leapt into the air and onto a nearby rooftop. He darted along from building to building, running away from the battle behind him; he knew that Yumichika probably wouldn't need any interference with his fight. And if he did need help, he certainly wouldn't ask for it. If push came to shove, the lieutenant could always resort to his bankai.

A whistled catcall rang out in the otherwise silent night air.

He stopped suddenly, his sandals planting forcefully into the rooftop below his feet. He spun around to see and young Arrancar with greenish-flaxen hair and a horned ivory helmet. She wasn't wearing much, her skinny body covered by a thin vest and a skimpy set of briefs. Her legs were covered by a pair of tall white boots and her arms were wrapped in gloves that stretched up to her elbow. Hisagi couldn't see a zanpakuto was strapped to her little form, making her look even more vulnerable than her young appearance already did. She whistled again, her hands resting on her hips matter-of-factly.

"Well," she said, her voice rather mature in comparison to her young physique, "aren't I just lucky? My Shinigami is a captain… and he's a cute one, too!"

"Hisagi Shuuhei," he replied with a roll of his eyes, ignoring her silly comments as he pulled his zanpakuto from its scabbard, "Captain of the ninth division."

"Hey!" she hollered, her brow furrowing deeply. "You don't even blush when I tell you that I think you're a hottie? What's wrong with you?"

"I try to refrain from flirting with my enemies," Hisagi said calmly, trying to force down the unwanted smirk that he felt rising to his lips.

"That just makes you boring, you know," she groaned, wrinkling her nose slightly. "I'm sure if you really tried, you could flirt back."

"You should be careful with what you wish for," he replied in sarcasm, "the last Arrancar to tell me I was cute ended up getting herself cut in half by my blade."

"Jeez, you're a tough cookie," the little Arrancar girl sighed, bringing her hand up to rest on her forehead. "Oh well. Since you're so set on getting this thing started…" Her hand slid up from her face to her helmet as a crimson flame began to flicker up from her broken horn. Her pale fingers wrapped themselves around the flare, the fire turning into a solid handle against her touch. With a swift movement, she yanked her arm forward and pulled a large scimitar out from her mask.

"Name's Lilinette," she continued, spinning the curved blade around her hand as a large smile spread over her mouth, "Septíma Espada."

Hisagi briefly returned the smile before launching himself forward, the metal of his blade slicing through the night air before crashing into her blade. He swung his zanpakuto forward repeatedly, forcing her back further and further along the rooftop until her heels were dangerously close to the edge of the building. With a final swing, his sword raked into hers, sending Lilinette falling over the edge amidst a showing of sparks.

With a punching hum, the Espada reappeared behind him, swinging her curved blade down towards his head. He reached up blindly, blocking the strike as it attempted to slice through his skull. He spun quickly and swung his foot outwards, his sandal slamming into her ribs. Lilinette didn't even flinch at the attack. Instead, she calmly reached down and grabbed his ankle and twisted harshly inwards.

Where there should have been a snapping sound, there was only a ruffling of cloth as he twisted his leg in time with her wrist. He swiftly brought his opposite foot across, kicking his heel into her neck. She released her grip as she flew across the rooftop arena, landing solidly on her back. Hisagi appeared above her in a flash of shunpo,his zanpakuto shining in the waning moonlight as he sliced downwards with it. She thrust her own blade upward from her position on the ground, the broad curve of the scimitar halting his attack as she reinforced the block with her left hand.

Hisagi grimaced as he pushed down against her, each of their blades frozen in an overwhelming power-struggle. Lilinette on the other hand, smirked confidently up at the Shinigami, ignoring the pressure his blade was putting on her thin arms.

"You know," she said with only a hint of tension in her voice, "you look even hotter when you're angry."

"Shut up," he snapped back sardonically, his grimace turning upwards at the corners.

"Aww," she said with a fake pout as a small ball of red began to swirl in front of the vacant eyehole of her mask. "That's not very nice, Shuuhei."

His eyes widened as he leapt back swiftly, his face narrowly avoiding the massive cerothat erupted upwards and into the night sky. The two fighters simultaneously vanished, the Shinigami with a whisper and the Arrancar with a buzz, before both reappeared at opposite ends of the roof. They were beginning to breathe heavily, despite the self-assured looks that each of them wore on their faces.

"Not bad, Captain," Lilinette said through her breaths, her thin chest rising and falling in time with Hisagi's as she tauntingly complimented him. "You're pretty quick."

"So are you," he said, returning the sarcasm, "for a little kid."

"Kid?" Lilinette's teeth clenched together as an angry knot formed on her forehead. "Arrancar have no age, dammit! I'm older than most of the buildings in this shitty little town!"

Hisagi's eyes widened at his opponent's sudden outburst. He didn't really mean it as an insult— well, yeah, he did. But he had meant for the comment to fall into the groove of playful insults that the two combatants had been trading back and forth. He hadn't really expected much of a reaction out of the girl; after all she did look like a kid. This surely couldn't be the first time that she'd been called such. If it was going to elicit such a temper tantrum, he surely wasn't going to crack that joke again.

And considering that he wasn't planning on letting her leave this fight alive, it was going to be the last time she'd hear it.

"Fine," she said suddenly as she slammed her curved blade into the ground, glaring harshly as she spoke at Shinigami in front of her. "You think that I'm some little goddamned kid? Let me burn that idea right out of your fucking skull."

Lilinette reached down and grabbed the scimitar out of the hole it had created in the rooftop. She held it out horizontally, placing her left palm behind the curved blade. Her reiatsubegan to skyrocket as crimson light began to envelop her lithe body. Hisagi was slightly forced back from the wave of spiritual, his right foot stumbling back as his free hand came up to black his face from the heat that was radiating off of the Arrancar girl.

"Birth," she grimaced, all the playfulness now gone from her face. "Caudata!"

"Shit," Ichigo grunted as he leapt out from the alleyway, his back landing harshly on the sidewalk. An enormous body followed him out into the street almost immediately, the thick white tail lashing out at an incredible speed. Ichigo barely leapt out of the way as the ivory-covered creature demolished the street beneath him, its massive coils moving far quicker than the Shinigami had anticipated.

Ichigo slashed out with his zanpakuto, the cleaver-shaped blade sticking into the hardened flash of the massive body. He quickly pulled back, watching in irritation as the monster's wound began to close as a white liquid seeped out of the hole in its flesh, sealing the gash almost immediately.

Goddammit, Ichigo thought as he watched the released Arrancar's massive, serpentine body slink out of the alley they'd been fighting in, I can't seem to hurt this guy!

The fracción Marqese Dresal had released his zanpakuto and transformed into some sort of gargantuan eel, his massive form easily eclipsing most of the buildings around him. Every time the Shinigami would cut him, Zangetsu's large blade could barely penetrate the hard flesh. And when it did, the lesions would immediately heal themselves.

The Arrancar came out of the passage entirely, the forward half of his grotesque body propped up by two small arms, and his tail taking up the entire street behind him as his giant mouth grinned at Ichigo.

"So, Kurosaki," the Hollow's voice boomed out from its large maw, "do you regret it yet? That you arrogantly refused to release your bankai against me?"

Ichigo growled slightly as he stared down his opponent. He had made that foolish boast earlier. When Marqese had initially released, the orange-headed Shinigami had confidently proclaimed that he wouldn't even need to go bankai to kill the giant beast. This, of course, had been before Ichigo had witnessed how insanely fast the Arrancar's massive coils could lash out through the air.

"Regret?" he replied with a snicker. "Not even a little bit, you big freak!"

Ichigo was actually rather upset with himself, but he wasn't about to show it. If sparring against Grimmjow Jaggerjaques for the past quarter-century had taught him anything, it was to never show any sign of doubt in one's own abilities. Or never to admit that you were wrong about something. Grimmjow was rather adept at that one.

"Well then," the large Arrancar groaned deeply, his voice almost as unctuous as his long body. "Allow me to force that regret upon you!"

Ichigo was once more on the retreat as the giant white eel slithered down the street towards him, his massive bulk threatening to crush the much smaller Shinigami. Ichigo leapt up into the air as the Arrancar's mouth crashed into the street, removing the chunk of asphalt that he'd been previously standing on. Ichigo spun as he ascended in the air, his body now facing the monster below him.

"Getsuga Tenshou!" he yelled as he swung his zanpakuto forward, a massive arc of blue light crashing forward and into the face of the released fracción. The attack blew the beast backwards, his head doubling over and crashing onto his own slithering backside. Ichigo landed upon a nearby building, his brow tightened in frustration as he watched the giant Hollow writhe around on the ground. Ichigo could see that the gash along his opponent's face began to close as liquid bone seeped out of the wound and solidify.

"Fuck it," Ichigo hissed to himself as the Arrancar below began to recover. "I guess there's no helping it." He stuck his large sword out in front of his chest, the tip pointing forward as his reiatsuflared. He didn't care about his arrogant promise to the Hollow on the street below; if he needed to go bankai, then he would go bankai, dammit. Going back on his word would be far less embarrassing than losing to a damn fracción.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Ichigo spun at the intruding voice, his eyes widening at the Shinigami that was standing behind him. His hair was still mostly black, a few strands of white sticking out along his temples that matched the haori that was slung over his shoulder. A long zanpakuto hung from his left hip while his right hand was tucked into his uniform in front of his stomach.

"Are you really going to use your bankai against this weak Arrancar," Kurosaki Isshin said with a smirk, "Ichigo?"

"Aren't you a little old to be out here?" Ichigo asked as he turned back to face the recovering Hollow, trying to hide his astonishment. He'd known for a while that his father had been a captain in the Gotei 13, but this was his first time actually seeing it. He had to admit – he was a little impressed.

"I'm not old enough to watch my good-for-nothing son embarrass himself," Isshin said with a smirk as Marqese Dresal's massive frame rose above their building, his serpentine head towering above them. "You shouldn't need to use more than your shikai for this piece of trash."

In a flash of movement almost too quick for Ichigo to even see, the massive eel's gaping jaws were split up the middle, the beast roaring out as its face was bifurcated. Once more the wounds began to heal on their own, but the two Kurosaki men jumped off the rooftop together and slashed out in unison. The white monster was soon falling to the ground in colossal chunks, each one disintegrating into thin air before they even hit the tarmac.

The two Shinigami landed noiselessly on the ground as the entire length of the ivory leviathan vanished.

"Don't worry, boy," the old doctor said with a smirk as he locked his sword into its sheath with an audible click, "I won't tell anyone that your daddy had to save you from the monster."

"Go ahead and tell them," Ichigo snorted as he walked alongside his father, his hand reaching out and giving the older man a small punch in the shoulder. "It's not like they'd ever believe you, anyway."

"You never interfere unless you have to," a voice as smooth as caramel called out to him from behind, "do you, Kisuke?"

Urahara turned slightly so that he could see Yoruichi out of the corner of his eyes. A small smile played on his lips briefly before he turned his face back to the night sky, his eyes closing slightly as he felt the battles erupting around town.

"Yoruichi," he said with a pleasant sigh, "how nice of you to grace us with your presence once more."

With a vibrantly youthful smile, Yoruichi slung her arms around his waist and planted a small kiss on his cheek before resting her chin on his shoulder.

"Don't act like that," she said teasingly into his ear, "you know I can't stay in one place for too long. Drives me up the walls."

"You should learn to tinker with things more often," he said with a grin as he reached down to the hands around his waistline, intertwining his pale fingers with her much darker ones. "It certainly keeps the boredom at bay."

"And is that what you're doing now? Tinkering?"

Urahara Kisuke smirked and turned around to look his old lover in the eye. He hadn't seen her in almost five years; he'd almost forgotten how stunningly beautiful she was. While prolonged absences like the ones she took would drive most men up the wall, he simply lived with it. Urahara Kisuke wasn't like most men. When Shihouin Yoruichi left the Shop, he would find more things to work on in his labs. That was just the way things worked between the two of them. He knew she would always come back to him, just as she knew he'd always be there when she returned.

"Like you said," he cooed softly at her, "I try not to stick my hands into things until I absolutely have to, despite how interesting things here have become."

"Then why don't you help them?"

"You should know better than anyone," he replied with a dark smile, "that sometimes it's just better to watch than to act."

Her golden eyes lit up slightly before she leaned in and kissed him, her mouth gently touching his, their lips pressing against each other as if they belonged that way. Her dark fingers reached up and knocked his hat off before running through his hay-colored hair. His right hand slid up her neck and gently cupped her face as he leaned into her slightly, deepening their kiss.

"But you do understand why I've come back, right?" she asked, pulling away slightly so that she could speak. "We can only sit back for a little bit longer, Kisuke."

"I know, Yoruichi," he said with a tired sigh as a wave of reiatsu rushed into the Urahara Shop, reminding them that their comrades were still fighting out above the town. "But I think we can enjoy what little bit of peace is left, don't you?"

"I think that if you're that intent on enjoying the peace" she said with a devious smirk, "then we should at least enjoy it inside."

Urahara Kisuke could only smile as she led him into their bedroom by his hand.

author's note

first thing's first: i had an homage or two in this chapter. the most obvious was calling hisagi out on his tattoos.enchantable,who is just fantastic, writes some wonderful fics about the vizards. within those fics, mashiro makes fun of kensei for having a "69" on his chest, and she calls him "captain sexy chest". i immediately (thought this was hilarious) wondered if hisagi went through the same shit, if not worse since they're on his face. i decided that yes, he does, and borrowedenchantable'sidea and called him "sexy cheeks." everyone go read her stories; they're wonderful.

the second homage was tomatsumama.she had a crazy little crackfic where everyone in seireitei had their own type of drink. she chose hisagi's drink of choice to be guinness, and i couldn't have agreed more. i never explicitly said it, but that's what he was drinking at the bar. she nailed it dead-on, so i figured i'd have him drinking it.

third homage was tosaigo no hajime.she (i think) wrote some wonderful oneshots with chad, and her last one involved him feeling bad for tatsuki. that's why i had them married in this chapter.

anyhoo, everyone go check out their fics, it'll be well worth your time.

alsoFANART! i got two new wonderful pieces of art for these stories last week. one was yumichika gaining his bankai (for 'anonymous' fromdelmarch), and the other was yumichika gettin down wtih rukia (for 'amore come dolore' fromf1ymordecai). eveyone go check them out! (jasotheartisan . deviantart . com)

lilinette is teh cute lulz.

isshinftmfw!

ulquiorra's fight soon.

sorry to everyone that wanted to see the vasto lorde back in HM. they're coming next time. (and sorrylibello,grimmsoi next chapter, i promise.)

see y'all next week, (don't forget toreview!)

jta!~

anthropomorphosis - UR