Hi again J I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas Eve! And that you had lots and lots of wonderful gifts! And that you gave plenty of them, too.

Henriette, anyhow, was happy about her present ^^ It's nice to be appreciated for hard work.

I was surprised to see that actually a pretty number of people checked in on my story the 24th, and I'm really thankful :) Pity we don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Denmark. I know who I would be thanking ;)

Anyhow.

This is chapter 12, and the next chapter will be from Edward pov! YAY!

Well, without further to do: Enjoy this next chapter of Newborn!

PRACTICE

"Wait, wait, wait," I whispered. I felt devastated, though I didn't. This feeling of exhaustion was so strange as a vampire, because I felt as if I could go on forever, while I couldn't.

"Ready?" Kate asked.

I bit my lip and concentrated further, though it was hard. My hand was almost touching Tanya, and I could feel my shield crawling up around her. I breathed heavily, wanting to cover her entirely with the shield.

"Touch her hand," I gasped through gritted teeth.

She nodded and did as I ordered.

Tanya didn't respond.

Kate just stared at Tanya's hand with surprise, then a smile spread on both of their faces, and they turned to me.

"You did it!" Tanya shouted, and I suddenly found myself in her arms, laughing with her. The shield snapped back into place, but luckily Kate wasn't touching her anymore.

I was too exhausted to say anything. All I could comprehend was my victory.

"Well done, Bella!" Kate laughed as she hugged us both. "After all that training!"

"You didn't do anything!" Tanya exclaimed and tickled her.

"You couldn't have done this without me!" Kate responded.

"Easy," I laughed whispery.

"Should we go on while you know what you're doing? It's going so well," Tanya asked.

I straightened and looked at her with a nod. "Let's," I answered.

We took our positions again, and they both looked at me with expectantly and patient eyes.

I took several deep breathes before feeling for my shield. I tried to form it, just make it wave at the edges to get a grasp of it, and then I tried to expand.

It wasn't an actual physical pain. It was more like a constant itching in my brain. But I had my will, and that was what I relied on when I did this. Expanding something I couldn't really feel or understand or see was very hard. I knew I was getting better at feeling it, and in my brain I was starting to see it – because of the feeling. But I was still missing the understanding, and I wasn't getting any improvements on that one. I couldn't shape the shield easily or very good, it was raw and hard, before I understood, felt and saw. I had to have it all.

I breathed again and tried to send the shield in a very thin string toward Tanya. Unconsciously, my hand moved forward, too. I was trying not to; the closer I was, the easier it was.

I tried to bend the string around her, and then expand. It was too thick and filled with flaws. I gritted my teeth and tried to pull just a bit back.

My shield snapped right into place.

"No!" I cried.

"What?" Tanya asked worriedly.

"I lost it!" I whispered and hid my face.

Kate touched my arm. "Nope, it's still there." I growled at her.

"Maybe we should wait?" Tanya asked and rubbed my shoulder. She grasped my wrist with her other hand and forced it away from my face, so that she could touch my cheek. "Don't be embarrassed."

I moaned. "I'm never going to get it!"

"That's not true, Bella," Alice said from behind me, and I turned. She and Jasper moved toward us.

"Can you really see that?" I whispered.

"Things like this takes time. But you're working hard on it, and you're determined to learn it. Eventually, you will," she answered.

I looked down. "But not very quickly," I mumbled.

"What's the rush?" she asked and shrugged. "We have no need for your shield at the moment."

"You can always have use of a shield," I whispered, but it was so low, I wasn't even sure she could hear it. I turned to Tanya and Kate. "Let's do it again! We'll practice all night if that's what it takes!"

-

I didn't do any better, even though we worked till dawn. Tanya and I laid on the ground with our eyes closed. I felt like I would become one with the land and never move again. Plants would start to grow on me, and I would lay there forever, like a watching stone.

Kate wasn't really tired, though, and she went inside after poking a bit to us. I listened to what was going on inside the house. Emmett and Jasper were picking on each other – what a surprise – Irina, Rosalie, Carmen and Esme was talking about some designer, Eleazar and Carlisle about Carlisle's job.

And then there were two still voices that my mind screamed to hear. I could hear their footsteps so very lightly. Edward and Alice stood together in a corner of the room, not talking. I wanted to know what was going on between them, even if there wasn't going anything on.

Time passed. I could see the light paint shadows across my lids, and I figured it was light at noon.

That was when Edward suddenly came out of the house with angry steps and then slammed the door. I opened my eyes and sat up. Tanya did the same thing. He saw us, and his eyes passed from me to her and back again. My head shrugged down under my shoulders. Then he left for the forest.

"What was wrong with him?" I whispered breathlessly to Tanya.

"I don't know," she murmured back.

"He's just obsessed," Alice assured from the door. "Come on in. You've been laying there for hours, and Esme want to talk with you." She was looking at me, and we both got up and went inside. I gazed over my shoulder, but there was no trace for the beautiful creature that I would never understand.

Esme looked at me with a smile, and she reached for my hands. "Bella!" she said, and her smile was so motherly, I felt my heart shiver, even though it shouldn't. It didn't care, though. "I have to tell you, I am so happy that you came here! Who knows if we would have ever known of you if you had just come to Forks."

I smiled. "You probably would," I said, gritting my teeth. "People there gossip like old ladies."

We laughed together, and Alice joined us with her soprano.

Esme squeezed my hands. "Some time in the future, we'll be leaving for Forks again. We tend to stay out of the public on sunny days," she winked at me, "but that they let pass. I doubt, though, that they won't get even the slightest bit curious that we disappear like this."

"You haven't told anybody?" I asked.

She shrugged. "We did, but humans don't care. As you said, they gossip like old women." I smiled. "But I would like it very much –" as Alice scowled at her, she corrected, "we would like it very much, if you'd come to visit us. We want to know you better, and weeks aren't enough. We must spend a lot of time together."

I smiled. "I agree. I will definitely come." I peeked at Kate. "Once I get bored here."

"Oh, right. Your gift." Esme smiled. "You take all your time, Bella. You've got plenty."

"The self-conscious one is coming to visit in Forks?" Emmett asked as he suddenly appeared by my side. "Nice." He rested his arm on my head, and I tried to get free, but he was heavy.

"Wow, Emmett, you're quick," Rosalie snorted, and I saw her roll her eyes, before she smiled at me and winked. I winked back.

"How dare you take her away from us?" Irina asked teasingly. "I don't think we'll let you."

"Then come all of you," Rosalie laughed.

Tanya shook her head. "Maybe not just yet. That will be too noticeable. Forks might be small, and the Cullens might live outside town, but not as far from any town as us." She smiled then. "But you won't be free of us."

"I never hoped that," Esme assured and freed my hand to take hers. She looked at me. "What a welcome addition to our family you are, Bella."

As she left us to stand by Carlisle's side, I thought I heard a double meaning in her words, but I let it pass. No need to be paranoid.

-

"Wow, Bella, you're really getting better at this," Tanya complimented as she got off the ground where she'd been writhing for a second. "That stung less than the other one."

I sighed. "Let's just get this over with," I growled. Somewhere deep down, I knew it was my attitude that had something to do with my lack of approving. My gift couldn't be forced.

I concentrated, took a deep breath, and then expanded my shield, locking it inch my inch closer to Tanya. It was almost in contact with her. Forming around her skin. It was very bad shaped, clumsy, filled with flaws. I tried to cut it closer to the skin without losing it. I smiled as my shield formed a thin membrane around Tanya.

"Touch her," I breathed, and Kate nodded.

I watched with down pointing eyebrows as she touched Tanya. Tanya didn't react, but I wouldn't let the joy fill me completely as Kate touched Tanya several other places. I knew that I would snap if I moved.

As Kate touched Tanya's stomach on the side of her that was furthest away from me, Tanya gasped a little scream, and Kate moved her hand quickly.

"It wasn't so bad," Tanya whispered. "Not as the other one. It was just a little hole in your shield, I think."

"Holes aren't acceptable," I growled and loosened the shield so I could begin from the beginning again.

The session continued on and on, but there would always be a place that I didn't get, always a little hole that I couldn't see. Tanya said it was nothing, and that I shouldn't think about it, but how could I not? It was unbearable to look at her writhe in pain on the ground, knowing that it was my fault.

"Should I take over?" Irina asked Tanya as she poked her on the shoulder. Tanya looked irritated at her, but then she considered. She nodded.

A moan gave me away.

"Bella, don't –" Tanya began.

"Shut up and let Irina take your place," I cried. "It doesn't matter anyway."

As I laid there on the ground, with my hands hiding my face, I felt that strange, lost feeling again. It made my entire being ache.

"Don't be like that, Bella," Irina pleaded.

"Just take her place," I groaned and got up. "Let's begin."

Tanya left, but I didn't let myself notice her. I concentrated on protecting Irina. As my shield shaped around her, I felt her light up in my mind. I filled the shield with all of my energy, making it stronger than any I'd made before, cutting it thinner than ever.

As I did, I felt how Irina was suddenly safe, and I knew then that there were no holes.

I watched expectantly as Kate examined Irina, but Irina didn't fall to the ground. A gasp of laughter escaped my lips, but the shield only shivered ever so lightly. Then I knew that I would someday be able to do other things while maintaining the shield.

"Stop," I whispered to Kate, and she looked curiously at me. "Edward!" I called then. It was as if the entire world stood still, just waiting for his reaction. I heard his steady steps come closer, but I didn't dare to look.

"Yes?" he asked, and a shiver ran up my spine. My shield quivered more than before.

"Can you hear Irina?"

He waited a second before answering. "No."

I expanded the shield toward Kate and shaped it around her, too. "Can you hear Kate?"

Five seconds passed by. "No."

I sighed with relief and let the shield snap back again. I breathed in the air as a human that has just been underwater for a while.

I stood up and smiled at Irina and Kate. "I think that's enough for now." They nodded, and I turned to go back inside. As I passed Edward on the way, I felt his hand touch mine in one of the lightest of touches. My head snapped to the side to look at him as a lightning stroke from the place our hands met and up through my arm, but the moment was over quickly, and he was on his way to Irina and Kate. He didn't look at me, and I knew it must have been accidentally.

But I also somehow knew it wasn't.