Author's Notes: Hello all! Thank you for tuning in to the newest chapter of Sweet Mother. I can't believe it took me this long to get back to this story. This is one of my favorite IZ fics to write in, along with "Bob's Excellent Adventure of Doom" and "Prisoners of Pride". This chapter managed to hit all the notes I wanted to hit, but it didn't really have a natural conclusion. I couldn't figure out where to end it, so I ended it on a sort-of cliffhanger. I would love to say the next chapter is coming out soon, but I don't know that. I have a big job coming up and might not be able to update anything for a few weeks. So, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope to write the next one soon. Thanks for reading and/or reviewing :)

Chapter 12

Rescue Mission of Recklessness!

Part III

Membrane, Jeem, and Gaz finally arrived at the Massive after 10 earth hours of traveling through the depths of space at speeds never before achieved by mankind. Membrane couldn't believe he was really staring at an alien warship, and whatever nervousness he felt before had now transformed into downright awe and terror.

"They're hailing us," Jeem informed him, "Remember Membrane, you must be poised and confident. Just pretend you're filming your TV show."

Membrane nodded quickly and then swiped the screen that indicated answering the hail. A stern green face with dark green eyes and a purple collar that hid the mouth was what stared back at Membrane. A small part in the back of Membrane's mind couldn't help but think this alien culture had the same fashion sense as him, but the bigger part of his mind worried about what these monsters were doing to his son. He couldn't afford to screw this up.

"Who dares approach the Massive?" The Irken asked Membrane snidely.

"I am Professor Membrane, emperor of the Terran Alliance," Membrane announced proudly.

Terran Alliance? Jeem mouthed incredulously.

"Never heard of you," The Irken replied derisively.

"I'm not surprised. We are very far away from your world," Membrane explained, "I have come because one of your soldiers has taken my heir. His name is Dib Whateveryourlastnameis, and he looks like a smaller version of myself. I wish to negotiate for my son's safe return to our home planet, earth."

"Earth?" The Irken exclaimed curiously, "Heh heh, good luck! The Tallest are planning to turn your mudball into paste, and you pig monkeys along with it. Serves you right for holding one of our most treasured artifacts in a prison for crazy people. Or at least, that's what I heard."

"No, no, that can't be right," Membrane denied, "There must be a mistake. My people have done nothing against your planet. Just let me come aboard, and we can straighten this whole thing out. I even brought snacks for your leaders as a token of peace."

"You really think we'll allow alien filth on board the flagship?" The Irken snorted, "What gives you the right?"

"He's 124 biggins tall," Jeem stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh..." The Irken seemed flustered by the new information, but Membrane had no clue what it meant. Biggins wasn't a form of measurement he was used to.

"Well?" Jeem demanded, "Are you going to keep our glorious emperor waiting? Do we have to take our snacks back to earth?"

"No no, no!" The Irken quickly shouted, "Just stay there, and I will ask the Tallest if they are receiving visitors."

"Mention that we have donuts," Jeem replied with a practiced smile.

The transmission was cut off without a reply, and Membrane and Jeem both sighed in relief in unison.

"That was intense," Membrane panted, "What if they won't see us?"

"They will," Jeem assured him, "I did some research on the known species to the Irken race. It appears that they keep the peace treaties they make with tall races. Hobo 13 and the Planet Jacker home world are both on friendly terms with the Irkens, and both species are close to human height. Humans are actually one of the tallest sapient species known to Irken kind."

"Do I have to stay here with you or do I go with Dad?" Gaz asked.

"Now daughter, negotiating with an alien race is far too dangerous for a little girl like yourself," Membrane chided, "I'm sorry, but I will have to go alone to save your brother."

"In that case you better leave snacks for the child," Jeem suggested, "Not to mention me. Do you know how often I have to eat to maintain this towering figure?"

Membrane raised an eyebrow, as he saw not a towering figure but a hunchbacked old woman scrunched up in a seat too small for her. If the situation wasn't so dire it would've been comical.

"Hey guys, what does that blinking red light mean?" Gaz asked as she pointed to the control panel.

"Um...I'm not entirely familiar with this model of vehicle," Jeem admitted, "Though it is right next to the hailing signal. Maybe it's the coffee maker."

"No, that's the blue one next to the other blue one," Membrane replied, remembering the autopilot incident from earlier in their trip.

Gaz leaned in between the two adults and pressed the button, with both of her guardians screaming "No!", lest it be the airlock or something. It turned out to be the text message feature, and once again they breathed out in relief.

"It's written in some sort of alien language," Membrane commented as he stroked his chin.

"Thank you for that update, captain obvious," Jeem snarked, "Anyway, it says that the Tallest have agreed to our meeting and that we should park the spacecraft in the parking slot that is opening above our current location."

"You can read that?" Gaz asked skeptically.

"I'm the grandmother, I can do anything I want," Jeem boasted.

Membrane gave her a sideways glance, but directed the ship toward the parking area as instructed. That alien writing had seemed familiar to Membrane, and when his mother translated it he figured out why. That same type of script had been engraved on his Aunt Kloee's urn. Since his mother commissioned the urn it meant she did indeed read Irken, maybe even fluently. How long had she known about this hostile alien race? She did say she had lied to Membrane about the nonexistence of aliens. What was her connection to all this? Membrane was now suspicious, but that suspicion would have to be placed on the back burner as he focused on getting his son back.

When the ship was parked Jeem pushed the button to open the roof. Membrane stretched in relief, and his joints and back popped from being trapped in a hunched position for the better part of a day. The parking area alone was huge, with the entire room decked out in garish vermillion and fuchsia metal. Rows of spaceships lined the area, and there were little Irken soldiers and attendants scurrying about.

"You, human!" An Irken shouted as he pointed to Membrane, "You follow me. I have been instructed to present you to the Tallest. No funny business, earth meat!"

Membrane, normally a man with a commanding presence and never in want of the right thing to say, now merely nodded obediently as he stared at the short yet buff Irken soldier holding the devastating looking shock stick in his hand. Membrane followed the Irken without question, and as they left it became clear that none of the other Irkens had even noticed Jeem and Gaz's presence despite them both being in an open ship. He left them hoping they would be alright without him around to protect them.

When Membrane was finally out of sight the two females were left to sit in awkward silence for a few minutes, but then...

"Gazlene," Jeem addressed her granddaughter with fake sweetness, "Do you love your grandmother?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Gaz replied unenthusiastically.

Jeem's face dropped into an unimpressed scowl. Clearly that wasn't the response she was hoping for.

"Alright then, do you want to earn $20?" Jeem asked in a flatly annoyed tone of voice.

"Yes," Gaz replied more certainly.

"Good," Jeem replied as she fished a $20 bill out of her coat, "Because I need you to fetch something for me..."

The hallways of this ship went on forever, and Membrane must've taken four separate elevators. He was feeling completely lost, and wondered if he would even be able to find his way back to the ship he came here in. If he, a grown man of science was this scared, then how much more terrified must his poor delusional son be? Dib probably imagined all of these aliens as a colony of Bigfoots or something for all Membrane knew.

When the human and his Irken guard finally arrived where they were going, the Irken soldier that had guided him to the meeting room ran ahead of Membrane and bowed his head before two figures at a table; one sitting and one standing. Membrane figured these two must be the Tallest. He also saw a small alien creature standing next to another creature. It was only after adjusting his goggles that Membrane realized that other creature was Dib. Dib was restrained by cuffs on his wrists and shackles on his ankles. Membrane noted that Dib looked unharmed, and not even his clothes were ripped. Dib's black trench coat covered his blue and white striped pajamas, which somehow made Dib look even younger and frailer than normal.

"My Tallest, this is the leader of the planet that stole the PAK of Tallest Sweet," The Irken guide announced.

"I see," The red clad Tallest, the one sitting down, replied, "Send him in."

"Yeah, into the airlock," The purple clad Tallest muttered quietly as he crossed his arms in displeasure.

"Thank you for meeting with me, my Tallest," Prof. Membrane greeted them formally, hoping to strike the right tone, "I know your time is valuable-"

"Get to the point," Red interrupted.

"Oh, um, of course," Membrane stammered; caught off guard and feeling unprepared, "I'm not asking for much. I just want my son and, um, heir, to be returned to earth. I brought a sample of some of the-"

"Dad!" Dib suddenly screamed, and Membrane felt his chances at making this an easy transaction slip away, "Dad, are those snacks from Grandmother?"

"Yes son, they are," Membrane replied with what little patience he had left.

"Don't eat them!" Dib warned his father, "I don't know how, I don't know why, but Grandmother is working with the Irkens, and she has been for years! I knew she didn't really wanna help me! Nobody helps me!"

"Permission to rip out his speech organs, my Tallest?" Zim, who was standing next to Dib, asked politely.

"Not now, Zim," Red growled.

"Yeah, this guy's got snacks," Purple added.

"Of course, try the samples and see if there's anything you like," Membrane offered, "Then perhaps we can work out a trade for my son."

"Don't do it, my Tallest!" Zim raved, "Earth food is disgusting poison! Wait, don't! Nooooo!"

Purple grabbed a package of salted caramel brownies and popped them in his mouth while ignoring Zim's warnings. Zim feared his precious leader would explode or something, but Purple instead started chewing and moaning in delight.

"Mmm, hey Red, you've gotta try this!" Purple insisted as he grabbed another package of the same brownies, "They taste like Grz'ta."

"No way, that's impossible," Red scoffed as he unwrapped the brownie, "There's no way these things-" He bit into the brownie, "-taste like...Grz'ta. Wow..."

"I know, right?" Purple replied excitedly, "It's even better than how our royal chefs make it. What else is in there?"

"Um...Cheese puffs, something Mother calls the Dominion Bar, Sweet Mother brand soda, and some fancy chocolates from the We're Better Than Poop Dawg collection," Membrane said as he pulled each item out of the silver suitcase, "Honestly I don't know what most of this stuff tastes like. My mother controls the company. I'm too busy being a scient- I mean, being ruler of earth!"

Dib buried his head in his cuffed hands; knowing his dad's overacting could blow this. He didn't even know how his dad got there, but he was secretly overjoyed that his father cared enough about him to try to save him. Dib actually didn't think his dad would even notice that he was gone, yet here he was staring down a race of alien monsters to rescue him.

"Mmm, I think I like this stuff called chocolate the best," Purple said to Red.

"I like this Dominion Bar thing. The surface is red, like my eyes," Red replied.

"I'm pretty sure that's just red velvet cake that dried out and got made into a candy bar," Dib pointed out.

"So, what do you want to trade in exchange for my son's safe return to me?" Membrane asked hopefully.

"Are you kidding?" Red scoffed, "We're not gonna trade with you. We're gonna kill you both and take over your planet."

"We might save the snack factory though," Purple remarked, "This stuff is amazing."

"What?" Membrane gasped, "But why? Dib is only a child, and I have done nothing to you!"

"Your people stole the PAK of our former Tallest," Red growled in soft-spoken fury, "Did you really think we would allow your species to get away with such an insult? Now that we have secured our planet's ancient artifact we will return her to the control brains where she belongs, and your people will burn under our lasers and be crushed under the feet of our robots. This isn't just conquest anymore, this is personal."

"Yeah, Dib! Now you stink people will fall under the mighty might of ZIM!" Zim proclaimed jubilantly.

"We're not actually trusting him with this, are we?" Purple whispered to Red.

Before Red could answer his fellow Tallest the doors on the other side of the room whooshed open, and a panicked servant ran into the room.

"My Tallest!" The small Irken screamed frantically, "The PAK of Tallest Sweet has been removed from its casing! It's gone!"

"Gone!?" Purple shouted indignantly, "Who had it last?"

"The glass was b-broken, my Tallest," The servant reported shakily, "It's b-been s-stolen!"

"Stolen? On our ship!?" Red raged as he bolted upright from his chair, "We have to find the culprit, now!"

With those words the Tallests followed the servant out of the room, and Zim followed his Tallest. That left Dib and Membrane alone in the large meeting room. Dib looked up at his father and blinked a couple times, Membrane shrugged, and then Membrane picked up his son and ran off with him like a running back with a football. No way were they missing this chance to escape.

A few minutes after they left the room there was a fugitive alert klaxon blaring all throughout the ship, and Membrane and Dib knew they would have a difficult time getting back to the hangar in one piece.

When Jeem and Gaz heard the intruder alert signal they both left the confines of the ship to see if Membrane and/or Dib had returned to them yet. The Irkens were swarming all over the hangar, and some of them noticed the pair of intruders in their midst.

"Hey, you! Freeze!" One of the soldiers ordered them.

"Stay back, I'm warning you!" Jeem shouted despite being helpless in a hover chair, "I have powerful connections!"

The Irkens were surrounding them and were about to overtaken them, and there was no sign of Membrane and Dib yet. Jeem and Gaz backed up against a spittle runner, and the mob of Irkens cornered them by gathering in a half circle.

"Cover your mouth!" Gaz ordered before throwing something, and Jeem quickly placed her sleeve over her face.

The Irkens looked down at the tiny black circular object the girl had thrown, and then smoke spewed out and quickly put the little green menaces to sleep.

"Sleeping gas?" Jeem asked, her words muffled with her sleeve, "Where did you get that stuff?"

Gaz just shrugged, and Jeem raised an eyebrow at the mysterious child.

"Never mind, let's just find a bigger ship," Jeem ordered, "No sense in four of us trying to get back home in Baby's First Spaceship over there." Jeem added as she jabbed her finger at their original mode of transportation.

Jeem then went inside while Gaz waited outside the ship to watch for her family. Dib and Membrane arrived a few minutes later; Membrane exhausted and Dib still being carried around due to the shackles slowing him down.

"Daughter! Where is your grandmother?" Membrane asked when he got close enough to her to do so.

"She's in this ship here," Gaz replied, "It's our new ride."

"Grandmother is here?" Dib asked worriedly, "But guys! She's working with the aliens! It's a trap! She's going to lure us to their evil space fortress! Let me go, Dad! I'm not going anywhere with that alien sympathizer!"

Dib's cries went ignored as Gaz and Membrane got into the spittle runner; Dib forced to come along. The doors closed, and Jeem looked back to make sure everyone was inside. Without so much as a greeting she pushed the ignition button and powered up to take off into the void of space.

"She's driving too?" Dib asked incredulously, "What part of 'traitor to the human race' don't you people understand!?"

"Holy bloop, what did they do to him?" Jeem asked, "He's screaming like a lunatic."

"I know what you are!" Dib shouted at his grandmother, "I know your secret! I know the truth about Sweet Mother!"

"You know about the illegal product tests done on koalas?" Jeem asked in shock.

"What? No!" Dib snapped, "I'm talking about your involvement with the Irken Empire! You work for them, I know it."

"I don't work for them," Jeem replied as if Dib were talking nonsense, "And you might want to calm down. It's going to take a few days to get back to earth in this ship. It's not as fast as the little one we left behind."

Dib growled and glared at Jeem as Prof. Membrane sat Dib down on his lap and began to use his pocket blowtorch to dissolve the chains connecting Dib's handcuffs and shackles. For the next few minutes no one said anything. It was as if they were afraid the slightest hint of a conversation would destroy the fragile peace in the cockpit. Soon though the hailing light came on and everyone froze and stared at it. No one wanted to answer it, yet a few seconds later Jeem set it to audio only and took the call.

"This is the Massive calling all spittle runners," The voice on the other end said, "We are in search of a group of fugitives, aliens from the planet earth. Everyone check in so we can make sure the search is thorough."

"Oh, um..." Jeem looked confused as she searched for the button that would send their location.

"What are you doing?" Membrane whispered, "Don't tell them where we are."

"We have to, so they don't follow us," Jeem whispered back.

It took several tense seconds, but Jeem finally found the right button to ping back their location. She also told them they had nothing to report. After a few seconds the transmission was cut, and everyone relaxed when they realized they had gotten away with it.

"We can't make it obvious we're heading for earth," Jeem explained to the others, "So we'll have to circle around a few times. After that we should be fine though."

"Mother..." Membrane paused for several seconds before gathering the courage to say what he wanted to say, "Are you working with the Irkens?"

"Pfft, you believe stupid Dib?" Gaz scoffed.

"I read Aunt Kloee's urn, or at least what I could of it," Membrane told Jeem, "Mother, the language on that urn was Irken, wasn't it?"

Jeem didn't reply, and in fact didn't even look at him as she focused on flying the ship.

"Grandmother, did you ever believe in my cause?" Dib asked; sounding hurt now that the work of convincing his dad was over.

"Did I believe we should chase Zim off the planet? Yes," Jeem replied stonily, "Did I believe we actually stood a chance of winning? Not really."

"So you definitely are loyal to earth?" Dib asked for clarification.

"What is loyalty?" Jeem asked pessimistically.

"And why do you want this thing so badly?" Gaz asked as she pulled a very familiar silver and pink object out from under a console of the cockpit.

"What the-? That's the PAK!" Dib shouted accusingly, "You went back for the PAK after the Irkens went crazy over it!?"

"Don't be silly," Jeem replied with a dismissive wave, "I'm not fast enough or sneaky enough to retrieve a guarded item like that. I had Gazlene do it."

"You sent Gaz to steal from aliens!?" Membrane asked in outrage, "That's it, Mother! I've put up with a lot from you, but when we get back to earth I never want to see or speak to you again! You put my family in danger, and you provoked a potential war between the entire human race and a race of intelligent malevolent beings. You were always unfit to be a parent, and you are now unfit to be a grandparent. I'm getting a restraining order against you when we get back. Stay away from us!"

"Alright," Jeem replied without hesitation or emotion.

"Really? That's it?" Membrane asked in confusion and disappointment.

"Yeah, that's it," Jeem replied somberly, the weight finally setting in, "Some projects succeed, and some projects fail. The family project was a failure, that's all. I didn't produce an heir, and I will die unnoticed and unmourned. These things happen. At least you're learning how to be a good parent. You're not there yet, but you'll get there. You're everything I am, and you're also everything that makes the human race special. Just do me one favor Membrane..."

Jeem then set the ship to autopilot and hovered over to the family. She took the PAK from Gaz and handed it to Membrane.

"...Just take care of her," Jeem replied with more emotion in her voice than Membrane had ever heard before in his life, "She loved you, son. Don't let the control brains absorb her. Don't let everything she knows about earth fall into the hands of the Irken machine. Smash the urn if you want, but keep her memory alive."

"I don't understand," Membrane admitted, though he could tell this was a big deal to his mother.

"This PAK belonged to Kloee," Jeem explained, and Dib gasped since he understood the significance of what that actually meant, "Think of the PAK like a black box for a person. From the moment the PAK is installed everything that person experiences and learns in life is recorded. Every memory that Kloee ever had in her adult life is in this PAK. I don't want the Irkens to have it, and I'm asking you to take care of it. Do that for Kloee, and I will stay out of your life forever, just like you want. Alright?"

Membrane looked down at the half-egg shaped object in his hands. He didn't know what this meant yet. He had no experience with such things. He did know however that the Irkens believed they had a right to it. They said it belonged to one of their leaders, but his mother said it belonged to his aunt. Those couldn't both be true, could they?

"Grandmother?" Dib's voice sounded very small as he spoke, as if he was afraid to voice his thought, "Was...was Aunt Kloee...was she Tallest Sweet?"

"Yes," Jeem replied without hesitation.

"And...you were...Tallest Mother?" Dib ventured to guess.

"I'm surprised you know that title," Jeem commented offhandedly, "So they mentioned me? After all these years the Irken Empire remembers. Well then, I suppose the control brains still work as intended."