A/N: Oh my God, It took me so long to update! I'm sooo sorry! I had a MASSIVE writer's block, it took forever to finish this. Fortunately, I have a great Beta who knows how to help a writer in need and gave me a solid push in the right direction. So you should thank Lilandriel. Like, now. Go do that, best by reviewing her own story.

And, of course, enjoy the chapter ;)

***

CALM BEFORE THE STORM

It wasn't any different than the first time. The body felt awkward, like a suit that didn't quite fit, too big for him. As Nicholas touched his chest, he saw big, knobbly hands and felt uneasy. Glancing at the monitor in front of him, he saw Telford looking somewhere to the side with confusion written all over his face. He scowled and the man did the same. Telford was on Destiny again, in his body at that. At least Young would have as bad a day as him, dealing with that son of a bitch. God knows there's enough animosity between them, for whatever reason. Let them have their fun, then. As a bonus, the thought of Telford suffering through the nasty headache he'd had since morning, made him smile maliciously. He decided to stay in this body as long as possible, even if he was only to sit on a bench in a park.

Just then he realized something. There was no pain. He had to laugh at how good it felt. A soldier that was standing in the doorway, politely waiting for him to make a request for today's activities, looked at him strangely but said nothing. Nicholas savored the feeling of relief that washed over him as he shook his head and didn't feel like there were nails layering the inside of his skull, pressing into his brain. His temples didn't throb, the muscles of his arms were knot-free and his back didn't protest as he stretched. Oh, this felt so good!

***

TJ didn't want Rush to know that she was monitoring the body switch so she had to wait for him to shift to Earth before coming into the chamber. When she entered the stones room, as they all called it, the person in Rush's body was sitting on the stool half bent, groaning, hand pressed firmly against his forehead.

"What the fuck?!" He managed to growl, going red in the face, which was twisted with a mixture of anger and confusion. This only confirmed what both she and Colonel Young suspected – it was Telford that Rush had switched bodies with, probably intent on meddling some more. She felt grim satisfaction seeing his pained expression, even thought it was Rush's body.

"Calm down," she said, coming closer. "It's normal, there's nothing I can do." She knew she sounded harsh but she tried her best to be gentle while peeling the man's palm from his head and looking him in the face.

"Damn." Was all he muttered, before he slowly stood, rubbing at the small of his back for a second. "Where's Young?" he asked and she promptly volunteered to take him to the Colonel's quarters. As they were walking down the corridor, TJ kept glancing at the man occupying Rush's body – this was a perfect opportunity for her to estimate the actual state of Doctor's physical condition. Telford seemed weary, muddled, as if he had trouble focusing his mind.

"How's the head?" She asked, trying to sound casual.

"Hurts like a bitch. Everything is woozy, it's making me dizzy. Doesn't this guy wear glasses or something? I can't see a damn thing!"

"Uh, yeah," she muttered, pointing her finger at his chest, "right vest pocket." Only after a moment, when she noticed Telford giving her a sideways glance, did she realize how it must've looked for him – her knowing this little detail, not even having to think about it. She decided not to say anything else but the harm has been already done.

***

"Where would you like to go, sir?" the soldier asked politely and as they left the room.

"I need to talk to General O'Neill. It's urgent," he said and the soldier made a troubled face.

"He is very busy at the moment, I'll see what I can do…" he began, but Nicholas interrupted him rudely:

"I just said it's very important, I wouldn't interrupt him otherwise. Tell him it's about the neural-interface device." Apparently the soldier, like most of the military force in the SGC, knew about General's encounter with the Ancient knowledge depository because his face grew serious and he nodded sharply, spinning on his heel and leaving Nicholas alone. Not more than five minutes later, he came back and announced that General O'Neill was waiting for him.

As he entered the office, the older man nodded his head in greeting and they shook hands. They weren't exactly friends but both respected the other. O'Neill knew him to be an honest, no-nonsense guy who didn't beat around the bush – the kind he liked to work with the most. Rush in turn knew the General to be much smarter than he let on, sharp and very straightforward. And he was one of the few army officers Nicholas knew who didn't have an ego size of a small building.

"Doctor Rush," O'Neill said and nodded his head politely. "What brings you here? The visit is kinda… unexpected?"

"I presume you were informed about the neural interface being used onboard the Destiny?" Nicholas asked, not wanting to waste time on small talk. O'Neill's pleasant expression turned into a more serious one, and he nodded once. "Yeah, we thought you were done with it. By the way, that was pretty stupid thing to be doing."

Nicholas didn't bother to comment on that. "There are… circumstances… That might lead me to using it again. That's why I came here. Colonel Young and I decided that since I needed to visit Earth anyway, I might as well fill you in on the situation." O'Neill's face clearly showed a healthy amount of doubt in lieu of the fact that the scientist was actually agreeing with Young about anything, but he finally urged him to continue with a quirk of his eyebrows. The next few minutes were spent with him describing their situation to the General, the older man listening intently. Nicholas told him about both alien races, the Supergate and their problems concerning the ship itself, omitting the magnitude of his own health issues.

"So let me get this straight." O'Neill said, folding his hands on top of his desk. "The only way for you to get to the Supergate and back to Earth is for you to use the chair for an undefined period of time?"

"Well, there is the possibility of getting to another galaxy but at the speed we're moving, maybe our grandchildren would be able to get there and besides, the repairs required are impossible to carry out without the ship's maintenance system running."

General O'Neill made a face that most people knowing him would interpret as contemplative. He then looked Nicholas in the eyes, ignoring his physical form and going straight to his soul.

"This is completely different from what you've done so far," he stated, not bothering with elaborating. He left that to Nicholas, like he always did. He made people explain things, present their own opinions, not sharing his own thoughts about the matter at hand. This made others think him less bright, a simple soldier; underestimating him so greatly it was laughable. For these, who knew what kind of intelligence was hidden under the gray hair, he was a strategic genius. Let your enemies make the first move. Also, now, he was right in his suspicions. O'Neill already knew what everyone around Rush had so far failed to consider. The only thing left was for Nicholas to confirm the unspoken truth.

"Yes," he said, folding his uncomfortably big hands in his lap. "This will require me to transfer my own self into Destiny's systems, after I prepare a virtual gateway to make it possible. All scenarios I come up with result in either my mind or body dieing."

"Hm," An unidentified shadow passed across the General's face as he rested his chin on folded hands. "That is uncharacteristically noble of you, Doctor Rush."

"Partially. Maybe." Nicholas smiled humorlessly, looking down at the wide desk in front of him. He couldn't miss the fact that it was meticulously neat. A military thing, he thought. Order ran in military veins. "At some point I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could do something else other than being an egoistic bastard. But then again, I know what Young has been telling you; how it's all my fault, that we got stuck on Destiny because of me. And I know that, despite everything I have done to save the crew, the ship, the knowledge, I'll be removed from the project the moment we come back. And it's pissing me off big time."

He went silent, in turn, waiting for O'Neill to say what shouldn't be said aloud. In his experience, when bargaining one should never say anything even remotely resembling a threat and this was what it would sound like right now. Nicholas honestly didn't like how this was going, but there was no other way for him to get what he wanted. Even if he died in the coming days, he would die knowing he could have exactly what he wanted. And boy, was it a prospect that might keep him fighting…

"I think you're dramatizing a bit, Doctor Rush," the General said, but despite his good natured voice, his face was deadly serious, telling Nicholas that the man knew exactly what was taking place here and was going along with it. They both needed to tread carefully now. "I'm pretty sure that the board would acknowledge your heroism if you were to survive the whole thing. It's a lot of lives that's at stake here, after all. Plus, I think Carter likes you far more than MacKay, and would be very happy to cooperate with you if you'd be willing to continue getting to the bottom of all the technical mumbo-jumbo as the project leader."

There was a tense moment of silence as they both looked the other in the eyes but then Nicholas felt a wave of relief wash over him and a brilliant smile split the face that was his but not his.

"Speaking of Colonel Carter," O'Neill said nonchalantly, "I heard she wanted to talk to you, she came planetside from the Hammond as soon as she heard you were visiting. So, why don't you go see her while I have someone prepare an agreement for you to sign. We wouldn't want you to risk your life based on empty promises."

"I'll do just that," Nicholas said and they shook hands. Something deeper than words passed between them as the scientist nodded his head in thanks and the General returned the gesture, showing his understanding. He was, after all, friends with the infamous Harry Maybourne and that made him more open minded about matters of 'scamming'.

The soldier that led him here was already waiting outside O'Neill's office. Without a word, he led Nicholas through the base, to a medium sized laboratory – one that Nicholas would have given his left hand to have onboard Destiny two months ago. Various monitors, chemical analyzing equipment and devices looking like something taken out of a B-class sci-fi movie were placed all over the room, creating a symphony of quiet sounds and hums. Amongst all that, in a white lab coat, was a blond woman leaning over something that might have once been a toaster or a radio. When she heard the door swish open, she looked in their direction and smiled brightly, her work momentarily forgotten.

"I assume it's you, Doctor Rush?" she asked, getting up and walking up to him. The soldier left as soon as he saw her move. "Wonderful to see you. How's your visit so far?"

"More pleasant than I expected," he answered and they shook hands. Carter led the scientist to a chair and pulled another across, sitting down herself. "I heard you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes, I heard about your grand success with the ship's database. I'm eager to know what you've discovered so far. I'm pretty sure Daniel will be pestering you about it soon as well," she added with a laugh and Nicholas had to smile. Her optimism was infectious, especially when he himself was in such a good mood.

Out of habit he reach to his vest pocket for the notebook that was his constant companion but realized he had neither the vest nor the notebook here with him so he decided that he'll just have to do without it. Instead, he asked Carter for some paper and a pencil and began explaining what they found so far.

For once, there was someone who seemed to perfectly understand what he was talking about. No moron-talk, only pure science. It felt beyond fantastic.

He had to admit that he had admired Lieutenant Colonel Carter since the first time he heard of her, not to mention the first time he was able to work with the woman on preparing the scientific background for the Icarus Project. Not only was she a genius, best in her field, she was also charming and witty. If only the people he worked with on Destiny were like that… they would probably be home by now. They were more than efficient together, going through what he'd memorized – he had no difficulties with passing on his in turn helped him immensely by clarifying some things that were not in his field of study. Nicholas had known from the beginning that she would be a big help but he had never imagined how much she could do to improve his plans. By explaining how some of the systems on Destiny might work – based on what he told her – she probably spared him hours of neural-interface exposure.

Before they knew it, the door swished open and the soldier from before entered, politely reminding Nicholas that he would have to be leaving in fifteen minutes. They'd spent nearly six hours here without realizing.

"There's one more thing," Rush said, his face hardening. Sam, sensing the shift of his mood, became serious as well. "There are some things I kept to myself and no one knows about them. There was no point in telling my scientists, but I think it will be of great use to you."

Sam nodded her head, waiting for Nicholas to collect his thoughts.

"There is a great possibility - certainty I daresay - that I will not live long enough to come back here and continue my work."

"I'm sure…" Carter began sympathetically, but he raised his hand to stop her.

"Please don't. I don't need that," he said sternly. "The cube that the S'hottoss gave me is a technological masterpiece. The aliens knew how limited my resources, not to mention my chances to gain trust onboard the Destiny, were and so provided the device with a genetic lock that is impossible to break with what we have onboard. However, given your knowledge of Ancient and Asgard technology, you should be able to find a way to tamper with it, you have far greater means to do so. If you can find someone foolish enough to use it, or perhaps some way to stabilize its function, I believe you could achieve much more than I ever wished for. My only requirement is that you are the one calling the shots."

Sam looked at him intently and Nicholas could see that she knew how important this was for him. This was probably the only form of last will he would make and they were both aware of that. She finally nodded her head and he smiled sadly.

"Thank you," he said, getting to his feet. Sam followed suit and soon they were standing together by the door to the laboratory. "Also, thank you for giving me a chance to work with such a talented scientist. It has been a real pleasure, every time, Lieutenant Colonel Carter."

He extended his hand and she shook it, her face sad and eyes shining with moisture. He suddenly felt flattered that this extraordinary person was feeling sorrow over him – something he knew was ridiculous, especially since he knew she was an emotional person in general.

"Likewise, Doctor Rush," she only said and they shared a quiet moment. As he moved to leave, he heard her speak: "Good luck."

He stopped in the doorway and cast her a melancholic smile. "Thank you," he said and left.

***

TJ had to admit that if Rush took any longer with returning to his body, he might come back to find it a bit damaged. Telford was royally pissing everybody off, herself included. She could see that Young was only stopping himself from hitting the man because someone was constantly accompanying them. In the beginning it was her but after what felt like days, Scott quietly offered to take the role. Since then she was only observing them from afar.

Telford seemed bone tired. And annoyed. Not only was the Doctor's illness getting to him, it was the body itself. The small things Rush was apparently used to, were driving the soldier crazy, like the smell of his shirt, something they were never able to get rid of – none of them, there was no efficient way to clean their clothes. The too long hair that was constantly falling into his eyes. The uneven glasses that were slipping off his nose. It was quite entertaining to watch, at least in the beginning.

There were other things she had noticed. Only now, when another man was occupying the body, did she see all the things she missed normally. Telford was carving the thin face into a stony frown which was a contrast to Rush's usual scowl. And to her astonishment, Tamara had to admit that the reserved, self-controlled scientist's face was much more expressive than she ever knew. There was a whole scale of frowns, half-smiles, smirks and faces that she couldn't come up with names for. Without the deep furrow on his forehead and the small tick in the corner of his mouth, Rush's face looked completely different. Empty.

Another thing she had to wonder about was Everett's attitude toward Telford now. He seemed reserved, even hostile. Much like he was towards Rush before the rockslide accident. Tamara wasn't sure if it was Telford or Rush's body's fault but as they sat together, going over some possible scenarios of the alien encounter they were getting prepared for, Young was constantly sending the other man vicious glares and angry comments hinting at something she couldn't make out. Apparently Telford did but he seemed too tired and annoyed to play the Colonel's game. At the moment he was ignoring the man completely, looking intently at the notes they wrote down, one hand supporting his forehead.

"This is completely ridiculous!" Young was saying, pointing at something on the paper. "The maneuver is not being used for a reason! Destiny is too big… Telford, are you even listening to me?"

To everyone's surprise, the other man took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes with a familiar gesture.

"It's Rush," he said and Young's face lost its angry look, "I see you've been preparing for the battle?" Rush asked, glancing at the pile of notes before him. He raised his hand and absentmindedly scratched at the small patch of dressing he was still wearing on his temple, but soon relented. The wounds were healing, itching like hell.

"Yeah, and you've interrupted us." Young answered a bit tersely.

"What I heard didn't give me the impression that you were very productive, Colonel. And this is my body, I have full right to occupy it." As he said that, he raised his eyes to look at Young and, surprisingly, he was smirking.

"Whatever," Young murmured. "Since you're back, we could go through these strategies. If you're to operate the canons and manoeuvring the ship, you should know…"

"Tomorrow, Colonel," Rush answered calmly, not bothered by the angry glare Young sent his way after being interrupted. "I have had a pretty busy day and there are some notes I would like to make before I retire for the night. It's not like we're going anywhere, at least in the near future."

***

TJ didn't expect to meet Rush this evening, expecting him to go to sleep or – a more likely occurrence – back to work. So when she saw him sitting in the Mess Hall as she herself came to grab dinner with Jake, she was absolutely astonished. And pleased that for once he came here of his own accord. He was sitting alone, his back to the entrance. There were few others in the room due to late hour so he probably felt comfortable here, not bothered by curious looks.

"Go grab our food, I'll be right there, ok?" TJ said to Jake and he nodded his head. He knew that Tam had been ordered to keep an eye on the Doc so he didn't complain. As he went to collect their meals and chat a bit with a buddy he spotted, TJ walked across and sat down opposite Rush, uninvited.

He was hunched over his pad, pencil in one hand, uneaten spoon of gloop poised in the other. As she invaded his privacy, he looked up, scowling; the expression softened slightly when he saw her smiling face.

"So," she began, hesitated. He raised an eyebrow. "How did it go on Earth?"

"Peachy," he replied, and turned his attention back to the pad, not bothering to elaborate. She frowned. He always picked irritating times to be stubborn and withdrawn.

For something to do, she reached over and gently poked the raised hand. "Eat."

With a roll of his eyes he complied, grimacing at the taste. His attention soon shifted back to his notes but TJ gave him no chance to write anything.

"Spoon," and pointed at the bowl.

The glare he fixed her with was both amused and annoyed. "I'm not six."

"Then stop acting like it. Spoon." Insistent. The scowl returned.

"Lieutenant…"

"Please." It was enough to win his obedience. She was about to take her leave when Rush glanced at her and said quietly:

"I got what I wanted." At her confused expression he elaborated; "on Earth. I did what I had to do. Everything's sorted."

Everything's sorted… TJ knew what that meant. He had no loose ends, nothing left unfinished. She swallowed painfully, watched for a while in silence as he ate and wrote simultaneously. She couldn't bear the thought, reached across the table and laid her hand upon the one that wrote.

"Nicholas…" Her voice was soft, raw. It was hard to speak.

His gaze was infinitely gentle as he looked at her. Placing the spoon in the bowl, he reached across and gripped her proffered wrist tenderly, squeezed lightly.

"It's alright, Tamara." His voice was equally as quiet. This was not a moment for loud conversations.

They watched each other for a moment and it struck TJ how calm his eyes were. She didn't feel that it was all right but this gentleness he was radiating eased her raging emotions a bit. With trepidation she realized that there was something wrong with this picture. It should be her consoling him, not the other way around. It should be him panicking. Instead, he was doing the most uncharacteristic thing - comforting her in public. Was he really as reconciled to his fate as he seemed? If that was the case, she probably should just calm down and help him keep the good mood.

She gently extracted her hand from his and smiled bravely.

"I'd better be going, Jake is waiting with my food." He nodded his head and stood up himself, taking his now empty bowl with him to deposit it in washing area. Bidding her good night, he left the Mess Hall.

As TJ sat next to Jake, she noticed him casting her a keen look.

"Something wrong?" he asked and TJ couldn't miss the fake lightness of his voice.

"Nah, everything's cool," she with equally artificial cheerfulness. They spent the rest of the meal in silence.