Chapter 11

Christmas at St. Mungo's

After managing to contact her parents, Hermione decided not to go skiing but instead travel with me and Jonathan to London. We left first thing Saturday morning. I thought it best not to apparate directly to Grimmauld Place. We went to the Leaky Cauldron first. From there we took Muggle transport. We arrived nearly an hour after we left, in the bitter cold and falling snow. I knew better than to ring the bell, so I simply let us in myself.

The hall was dark and silent, which was good considering the alternative, but it was cold too. So cold in fact, that we could see our breath upon exhaling. I sent our trunks up to our separate rooms with a wave of my wand. Then we made our way down the hall towards the kitchen. Sirius, Remus, Tonks, and Bill were all sitting around the table when we entered. Sirius jumped up to greet me. I hugged his neck but quickly turned my attention to Bill.

"How is he?"

"He's stable," Bill replied. "Mum's with him now, everyone else is upstairs."

"Is that code for 'go away so I can say how it really is?' If so, we're not leaving without the truth," Jonathan said as he indicated to himself and Hermione.

"Jonathan!" I reprimanded in a tired voice. Remus and Sirius just laughed.

"He's fine, really," Bill said. "He's Dad, you know. He's trying to laugh it off. It's just… there was something in the snake's venom that prevents the wounds from healing, so he has to take a blood-replenishing potion every hour. The healers are working on an antidote though."

"So he's really going to be all right?" Jonathan asked.

"Yes," Bill replied firmly.

Jonathan's shoulders relaxed considerably and he smiled, turning to me. "See, Mum, I told you there was nothing to worry about."

He fooled no one.

"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Hiding away upstairs somewhere. He's been sulking since they returned from St. Mungo's," Sirius said.

"Sulking? Why?" I asked.

Sirius shrugged. "He won't say."

I rolled my eyes at his response. "Really? And none of you have any idea why?"

"Don't worry, Professor Porter, I'll get to the bottom of it. Come on Jonathan," Hermione said as she pulled him along.

"Hey Dad," Jonathan managed to call a greeting and clap him on the shoulder before leaving.

Sirius laughed once he was out of earshot. "He worries just like you doesn't he?"

"Well he had to inherit something from me. He couldn't be a complete carbon-copy of his father."

"A what?"

"A… it's a Muggle phrase."

"What does it mean?" Bill asked.

"It just means a duplicate or an exact copy," Remus explained. "And he's not; he's a lot like you too," he added in my direction.

"Maybe, but he's more like you every day," I said. "We better hope, for everyone's sake, that he keeps your cool temper, this year especially."

Remus grimaced a bit. "Are things really that bad there?"

"Oh no. We skipped right over 'bad' at the welcoming feast and went straight to horrible. From there we quickly descended to horrendous. The downward slope is growing steeper every day. I'm pretty sure we're just a step away from straight up hell. And I tell you, I'd sure like to be the first in a long line to push her into that fiery furnace."

"What is she doing out there? The Ministry's been praising her in the Prophet, but they've all been grumbling about her," Tonks said, nodding her head up towards the ceiling which I took as her way of pointing to the kids up above.

"Ugh!" I groaned and took the vacant seat next to Sirius's. "So have you been keeping up with the Educational Decrees?"

"Yeah, a bit. They sound like a load or rubbish to me."

"They are, but they've given her unbelievable access to make us all walk around in a living nightmare. Now the premise, as a whole, of some sort of…for lack of a better word—quality control—in our educational standards is not a bad one, and not completely unheard of, especially in the Muggle world. However, the manner in which it is being executed, and in particular, the executioner is highly ridiculous."

"Executioner? You make it sound as though she's out for blood," Bill said.

"I really think she is, and she'd like mine in particular."

"But why? You're one of the best. You quickly became one of my favorite professors," Tonks said.

I smiled slightly. "Thanks."

"Wait…what?" Remus asked, nearly spitting out his drink as he looked between the two of us.

"Tonks was one of my first NEWT students when I started teaching," I explained, watching him carefully. It was evident that he didn't know about that. "I only had her the one year before she left, but she was pretty memorable."

Remus opened his mouth but no sound came out.

"We don't really talk about school much," Tonks said, as a way of explaining his apparent surprise.

No, I don't supposed they would. If I was potentially seeing someone thirteen years younger, or older, than I was, then I wouldn't want to talk about things that accentuated the age difference.

"So why is she after you?" Bill asked, bringing us back to the original topic.

I didn't answer immediately but my eyes flicked back to Remus. That one look was all he needed to know what had happened.

"You said something, didn't you?" he said with a sigh.

I looked away and leaned back in my chair. "It wouldn't have mattered much if I didn't say something; she already had her opinion of me. You could see it in her eyes. You know, Hermione actually thought you'd be proud of my little speech…"

"You gave a speech!"

"…I told her he was sorely mistaken. Looks like I was right."

"Kate…"

"Oh bugger, Remus! I tried, you know; I did. But when she started insinuating that I was some sort of slapper…"

"What!" Sirius exclaimed, sitting up and leaning across the table.

"…I couldn't just sit there quietly and take it. And, you know, you weren't the sole focus of my rant. I tried to specifically turn it away from you. But she kept pushing it back to you, like she knew. Like she knew my weakness, she knew how to get to me."

"Hang on," Sirius said. "Go back to where she called you a slapper. You? Of all people?"

"She didn't say it out right, but she insinuated as much."

"How?" Remus asked, almost sounding worried at what the answer might be.

"Oh? Do you not recall either? Apparently, you and I had quite the illicit affair a few years ago. It's the talk of the school. From the way she worded it, you'd think she'd have witnesses to our 'transgressions.'"

Neither Remus nor Tonks said anything, but it was clear they were both troubled by this accusation. I focused my attention on Tonks for a moment, who was studying the side of Remus' face, and I was sure I saw hurt in her eyes. I felt I had to try and relieve some of that pain for her.

"Mind you, it was only a kiss," I explained. She looked my way. "Just a kiss that never should have happened."

"Do you regret it then?" Remus asked after a pause. Tonks looked back at him.

I hesitated. I wasn't sure how to respond or what to make of his inquisition. Finally I decided I had to answer truthfully.

"No, I don't. I do regret all the circumstances surrounding it, but the actual kiss… I think it pretty much summed everything we ever were… or ever could have been."

"So what happened?" Bill asked after a slight, somewhat awkward, pause. "With Umbridge I mean? How did the inspection go?"

I tore my eyes away from Remus to look at Bill. "I'm on probation."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm still there, obviously. I'm still teaching, but I have regular inspections now. My high OWLS and NEWTS are the only thing saving me. She's biding her time and building her case until she has enough substantial support to sack me…or until she gets sacked. I pray it's the latter, but… I just…" I choked on the sudden constriction of my throat.

Fortunately at that moment the kitchen door opened and Molly walked in. I jumped up to hug her neck, glad for a reason to push aside my own troubles and focus on hers.

XXX

After a quick exchange, I ordered Molly to sit and attempt to relax while I fussed over dinner. She, of course, protested and insisted on helping…until I threatened physical restraints. I made soup, because there's nothing more comforting on a cold winter's day than a hot bowl of soup. And that night at dinner, Remus remained strangely silent.

Really he remained strangely silent the whole time I was there…at least towards me. He was fine with Jonathan, quite talkative even. He was a little less talkative with Tonks, who, I noticed, came around almost every day. I tried to push aside all thoughts of what may have been going on between them, because really it was none of my business if they were shagging or not…despite how much it may have hurt.

Jonathan and I visited Arthur one day by ourselves, but on Christmas Day we all went. Mundungus had "borrowed" a car from a friend together. While the kids were piling in, Remus leaned towards me and asked, "Do you still get car sick?" It was the first time he had talked to me without provocation since I'd arrived.

"I don't know," I replied. "I haven't been in one since."

The smile he gave me made my stomach drop.

The answer was yes. Fortunately, it was only a short trip so it didn't get too bad. But I pushed to be the first out and I leaned against the old brick building as the cold air blew around me.

As we were making our way down the magically-enhanced corridor, I gave an involuntary shudder.

"Are you all right, Ms. Porter?" Ginny asked.

"Yes. I'm just not overly fond of this place," I replied. I caught Remus' eye and I knew he understand why. Ginny, thankfully, chose not to question it.

We exchanged gifts around Arthur's bed. I laughed gleefully as I opened mine. It was a nice bottle of wine, complete with ear-muffs.

"What are the ear-muffs for, Dad?"

"It's an adult thing, Ronald; never you mind," I replied. "Thank you, Arthur. I'm sure it will come in great use."

"Molly tells me you're having a bit of a rough go at it this year."

"Did she now?" My eyes flashed up to meet Molly's for a moment. "Well, I'm ashamed of you, Arthur. It's Christmas Day; we do not discuss evil hags on Christmas."

"Katherine!" Molly scolded but the kids laughed.

"Molly!" I mimicked. "See, I can do it too. Thank you again, Arthur." I leaned in to give him a hug, and in doing so his robes slipped a little revealing his bandages underneath. He quickly struggled to cover them again.

"Arthur," Molly said in an accusatory tone.

"Molly," he mimicked. "See, I can…" Arthur stopped his words short at the look on Molly's face. "Uh—er…" he laughed nervously. "Yes, Dear?"

"They've changed your bandages."

"Er—yes, they have."

"They told me they wouldn't change them again until tomorrow. Why have they changed them early?"

"Oh! Well—uh…it's nothing really…"

"Arthur." Molly was becoming impatient and it reflected in her tone.

"Well, you see, Augustus…you remember Augustus right? He's the junior healer; funny chap really. He's half-blood, a Muggle father…"

"Arthur!"

"I'm getting there, Molly. His father is a Muggle Healer, so Augustus dabbles in…complimentary practices as well. And, I'm not sure if you're all familiar with the Muggle stiches…"

"Oh boy…" I gasped, knowing what was coming next.

"I could go for some tea," Bill said suddenly. Apparently he too could deduce what was coming. "Anyone else?"

Fred, George and Jonathan all leapt to their feet. "We'll go!"

I got to my feet too, but instead of following them I noticed that Remus had backed away and was talking to another patient in the ward. I could tell from the same sickly pallor and the fresh scars that he was a werewolf too, and very likely a new one. I debated on whether or not I should join Remus, but just when I had deiced, he walked away. Evidently the fellow didn't want visitors. I recognized the self-deprecating look in his eyes.

"What do you mean that's the general idea?" Molly said rather loudly.

Remus and I quickly left the ward together to avoid Molly's wrath and silently began making our way to the tea room. It wasn't that the silence between us was awkward or strained, but I still felt the need to fill it. Otherwise, I knew Remus might do down his own self-deprecating path.

"I can't believe Arthur sometimes… and yet, I find I'm really not that surprised," I said.

Remus chuckled softly. "He does seem to have a penchant for Muggle things."

He looked sideways at me with a lazy smile. "So tell me, what's the story behind the earmuffs?"

I laughed and began to explain. From there we fell into an easy conversation. We didn't talked about anything in particular nor anything of importance. We just talked…and it was easy, and it was simple, and…it was nice.

We sat with the others, but the conversation remained simple and light. We found ourselves laughing easily and frequently. Jonathan and the twins of course were eager for more stories, so we divulged a little. All the while, a warm, pleasant feeling settled over me. Perhaps Remus and I were finally getting to a certain normality. Perhaps we could interact without fighting or being on edge at last. Perhaps… I could set aside these old feelings for him.

When he looked at me and smiled mid-laugh though, I thought just maybe I wouldn't need to set them aside.

We returned to Grimmauld Place almost two hours later. Waiting in the kitchen was none other than Tonks. I watched Remus from the corner of my eye as we entered. The look that crossed his face when he saw her, nearly broke me all over again.