Contest in the author's note at the bottom!

101. I may not sell Umbridge's quill to emo students, especially if they're no good at poetry.

Muggleborn Ravenclaw first year Mary Heart felt like she was visiting a creepy drug dealer. The lying, the sneaking, the illegality of it all... But she couldn't help it; the little emo girl wanted that quill so badly...

"Wait a second," Fred paused as Mary attempted to hand over the twelve sickles in exchange for the bloody quill. "How good are you at poetry?"

Mary blinked in surprise. "What does that matter?" she asked in a slow voice. "I've never done poetry before. I just want the quill."

Fred and George exchanged glances before reluctantly handing the quill over to Mary. George shook his head. An emo who had never produced good poetry before... now that was disappointing.

102. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

Fred came back to the entrance to the Room of Requirement from the kitchens to find his brother George sitting on the floor. Two pairs of Extendable Ears had slithered up and under the door, and his twin had one of the ears pressed firmly agains the side of his head. "Anything yet?" Fred asked his brother as he handed him a sandwich.

George shook his head. "No. All Malfoy has done so far was blame Harry for getting him locked in the 'closet.'"

Fred groaned. "Great. That sounds completely-"

"Sh!" George demanded, suddenly excited. "Wait, something's happening... Oh." With a sigh, George dropped the Extendable Ear. "Bloody hell," he muttered.

"What?" Fred asked nervously.

George rolled his eyes. "They're exchanging 'your mum' insults. And bad ones at that."

103. I am not allowed to set my teachers on fire.

Harry and Ron were nervous. No, it was more than that; the two fifth year boys feared for their lives. What they were about to attempt was so dangerous, so deadly, that they weren't entirely sure they'd survive the aftermath of their actions.

They were about to set Professor Snape on fire.

Well, they were going to try, anyway. If all went well, Snape's robes would soon be scorching, and he'd have no idea why. But as Ron and Harry were both aware, Severus Snape was a very intuitive man, and he was very rarely caught by surprise. The chances of them succeeding in this daunting task were so low that not even the biggest gambler in the wizarding world would bet on their triumph. But this task was on the list. It needed to be done.

"Why couldn't Fred or George have done this one?" Ron muttered out of the corner of his mouth during one particularly long potions class. He stirred his lime green brew counterclockwise as he spoke. "It's their bloody idea. Can't they do it?"

"Of course not. That would be too easy for us, wouldn't it? Merlin forbid they actually give us the easy tasks," Harry said with a small roll of his eyes.

Ron just shook his head. "Not going to lie - I'm scared, mate. Snape will absolutely murder us if we get caught."

"I know."

"It'll be a slow, torturous, painful murder-"

"I know."

"They'll never find the bodies."

"I know."

"What do we do, Harry? How are we going to do this?"

Harry shrugged, inhaling deeply as he did so. He briefly shut his eyes, allowing his fear and nerves to consume his being for a moment... before his eyes snapped open and he resigned himself to his fate. "Together," he said quietly. "We'll do it together. As we're meant to do."

Ron nodded. "Together."

"You ready?"

"I'll never be ready," Ron said wryly.

"Incendio on three, right? Take aim." Both of the boys pointed their wands at Snape's back as their professor bent over Neville Longbottom's smoking cauldron. "And... one. Two. Thr-"

At that moment there was a bright flash of light and smoke began curling up in plumes from the depths of Neville's cauldron. His fire sputtered, spat, and spewed out flames across the room... and onto Snape's robes. As the dark, imposing wizard put the fire out and turned his glare on a cowing Neville, Harry and Ron looked at each other.

"Well," Harry said after a brief pause. "I think that counts, don't you?"

"Absolutely. Definitely counts."

"We accomplished our task."

"Good. Yeah... So, moving on."

104. Adding the name Bueller to Professor Binns' attendance list is cruel.

"Abbot," Professor Binns droned. He was starting his fifth year class off the way he always had: by taking attendance.

"Here!"

"Brown."

"Here."

"Bueller." Silence. The students looked to one another in confusion, wondering who this phantom Bueller was. "Bueller," Professor Binns tried again. "Bueller?"

It was at this point that Hermione lost it; she was laughing too hard from his priceless imitation.

105. I am not allowed to bow before Snape and say, "Oh mighty Half-Blood Prince, how may I be of service?"

Harry couldn't wait for the day's private lesson with Snape to be over and done with. Occlumency was not something that he enjoyed, and why he was forced to learn the art from Snape of all people...

After a brutal attack on his mind, Snape glared down at him. "You're too weak. You aren't focused. You have to listen to what I've been telling you all along, Potter. You have to do what I tell you to, understand?"

Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead choosing to bow down in front of Professor Snape and let him in on something Fred and George had found out a few years back. "Fine. Oh mighty Half-Blood Prince, how may I be of service?"

106. I'm not allowed to take house points from Slytherins for "being too god-damn short".

"Hey you," Ron said, pointing to a Slytherin first year. "Get me that book on the shelf, would you?"

The Slytherin reached for a moment before shrugging helplessly. "Can't reach it," he said as he turned on his heel and walked away.

"Five points from Slytherin," Ron shouted after him. "For being too god-damn short," he muttered as he used The Force to summon the book.

107. I am not allowed to play "musical dorms", especially with the different houses.

McGonagall's eyes were wide with surprise when she stepped into the Gryffindor common room late one Thursday evening. Her mouth dropped open, her cheeks burned with fury, and her eyes fell immediately to the two biggest troublemakers the school had ever seen. "Fred and George Weasley!" She called out.

Immediately, all of the chatter and laughter ceased, and the room became deathly silent. The twins exchanged knowing glances before they stepped away from the crowd, resigning themselves to the inevitable fate before them. "Yes, Professor?" George said meekly.

"Take a look around," McGonagall said, her voice low and even. "Does anything seem... amiss to you?"

The twins made a show of scanning the room, before they looked back at each other and shrugged. "Not really," Fred said.

"Everything appears to be in tip-top shape," George added.

"Right as rain."

"Perfectly normal."

"Nothing to see here."

"So you best be on your way-"

"Normal?" McGonagall interrupted. "Normal? So I suppose it's normal to find Miss Lovegood and her Ravenclaw friends curled up on your couches, and to see Mr. Potter, Miss Weasley, and Miss Granger lounging about in the Hufflepuff dorm, while said Hufflepuffs are dispersed between the Slytherin and the Ravenclaw chambers!" she said, shouting the last bit.

George cringed. "Well, no. It's not normal for an everyday situation."

"But it is normal for what is going today," Fred protested.

"And what might that be?"

The twins simultaneously gave their Head of House a large grin, and then they said, "playing musical dorms, of course."

108. I will not add 'according to the prophecy' to the end of every sentence in Divination class, just to raise my grade.

"Harry Potter," Professor Trelawney croaked with a shake of her head. "My poor boy. You have bad luck coming your way..."

Harry rolled his eyes. Apparently, the old bat had forgotten about the Grim she'd seen.

Ron turned to Harry. "Mate," he said somberly. "You're going to die. According to the prophecy."

Trelawney's mouth dropped open. "What prophecy? Why wasn't I informed of a prophecy?"

"The prophecy about how he'll, uh... defeat Voldemort... and then he'll die." Ron quickly made up. "According to the prophecy, that is."

"Oh," Trelawney said. "Right, well thank you for keeping me up to date, Mr. Weasley."

"No problem, Professor. It's my job. According to the prophecy."

109. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

Harry walked into potions class half an hour late. He knew Snape would yell at him for his tardiness, but after that Herbology lesson he'd had and all of that dirt... he just couldn't stand it! He had to go get clean, dammit!

"Ten points from Gryffindor for excessive tardiness, Mr. Potter," Snape said from the front of the room.

Harry shrugged. "Sorry Professor. I was a little busy giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful."

Snape was, at one point, a bad man who had seen many bad things, but the mental image this brought about was enough to scar him for life.

110. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test this notion.

Blaise Zabini was getting on Hermione's last nerve. Hell, even Malfoy had been leaving her alone lately (oddly enough), so why was Zabini taking over the ferret's job of bugging her to death? All she wanted was for him to let her be; was that so hard?

Apparently, it was.

"Hey Mudblood," Zabini called out. "Where's the rest of the Golden Trio? Have they finally gotten sick of you? I know I have!"

Spinning around, Hermione pulled a crucifix from her coat pocket and shoved it towards Blaise. "Beat it, creep," she growled, as Blaise looked on skeptically.

This chapter has two new sections. Can you guess what they are? Last chapter, the new sections were 94 and 96!

Out of this batch, I loved 102, 103, and 105. What about you?

Last week's winner was Frostfoot-Dreamleaf with their story Forget Me Nott. Enjoy some Hermione/Nott goodness!

Now for this week's contest. Out of anyone who reviews this chapter, I'll randomly pick one of the people who includes their least favorite Harry Potter character in their review! It's the least I can do to thank you all! And if you're one of my old readers who reviewed years ago, remember that I accept anonymous reviews too! Just put your penname in the name spot! Once again, thank you all!

We're halfway there, guys! Thank you for sticking with me throughout this story. I really appreciate it!

I'll have the next update out in a few days, so look out for it!

-Selene