Chapter 12: Performance Anxiety

For most high school kids, going on a trip out of state means total freedom from their parents and school. It's a time where they see how their teachers and faculty act in real life. With no more "six hours of professionalism", teachers start to lose their shine. Sing-a-longs, rated-R movies slipped passed the teacher in charge, and secret hookups are all normal happenings on a long trip. Occasionally, you get a funny teacher whose rules are simple: "No losing a child and no gaining a child."

Will Schuester was a cool teacher. He was trusting, relaxed, and always hoped for the best and prepared for the worst. When he fought with hotel maintenance last night then hot-wired their electrical system, he felt good. Emma was by his side holding wet naps just in case. He couldn't lose kids, not on his watch. When those double doors opened revealing Puck and Rachel, the first thing he was thankful for, was they were both still dressed. Knowing Noah Puckerman, it could have been much worse.

Will's kids had made it to Indiana in one piece and were safely in bed. He taped their hotel doors and made sure everyone was in for curfew before he slipped into his own room with Artie. The boy was already lightly snoring when he pulled the covers over his shoulders and closed his eyes. Tomorrow he had a day of fun prepared. This was a test. If Will could do well at Invitationals, Figgins would never doubt his kids again.

Rachel Berry had never faked slept before in her life. She was a morning person, awoke before her alarm with a smile and an extra burst of energy. The small girl was used to making breakfast for her dads and even occasionally, reading the paper before school. Yet, when she heard her fellow glee clubbers getting up early, Rachel shut her eyes tightly.

The spunky brunette was planning to get up as soon as they left for breakfast. Instead, before they could leave the room Rachel's cell phone starting ringing. Her roommates were awake, waiting for her to open her eyes. The small Jewish girl lucked out when her fathers called. Rachel rushed into the bathroom with her phone. Mercedes and Tina exchanged annoyed glances as they sat down on their respective beds.

"Sweetie, how are you? We were so worried when you didn't call us last night," Rachel's daddy started.

"Oh, right. Sorry, it was really late. See the power went out because of some freak electrical storm. Plus, my cell was dead so I had to charge it."

"Oh, we didn't hear about a storm on Weather Bug," her father commented.

"Just tell us you're okay!" her daddy demanded, a tinge of worry in his voice.

"I'm fine guys, really!" Rachel answered, annoyed at her fathers.

The last couple of weeks Rachel had avoided conversations with her parents. She refused to attend the two family meetings they had organized. The brunette knew they wanted to discuss Bernadette and the possible new baby. Yet, she had focused so much on glee club just to avoid that very discussion. This was Rachel's last stand. When she was ready to talk, she would.

"Look, we need to discuss this baby. I realize now is not the best time, but it has gone on long enough. So when we pick you up from school on Sunday, be ready," her father ordered. Richard was not listening as his husband tried to calm him.

"Okay," Rachel whispered as they blew kisses to her through the phone. "Love you, too."

The small Jewish girl hung up, trying not to let her emotions affect her. Taking a deep breath, the brunette stepped outside the bathroom. When Rachel looked around the room, her fellow gleekers were pretending not to stare. With a heavy sigh, Rachel tried to leave only to be stopped by Mercedes.

"Come on Rachel, you were stuck in an elevator for hours and you didn't mention it to your parents? That to me, means something definitely happened."

"You were listening?" Rachel asked, annoyed.

"We didn't mean to!" Tina assured her, turning towards Mercedes.

The small girl shook her head meeting the stares of her friends. "Look, I didn't want to scare them. My fathers are very sensitive about these things. I'm their little girl. If I told them what happened they would be here. The last thing I need is another law suit."

Her peers exchanged glances as Rachel stormed out of the room and into the hallway. She breathed a sigh of relief until she looked up seeing Puck walk out of his room. He smiled taking a deep breath, it seemed like everything was going in slow motion. Their eyes met for a moment before she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Morning, Rachel," Finn greeted her, making the brunette jump. Puck frowned, shaking his head before he turned from her, walking away down the hall.

"Finn, hey!" Rachel gasped, then smiled and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek. "Sorry I didn't call you last night I was..."

"Tired?" he smiled earnestly.

"Yeah, so how are you this morning? Did you gargle with salt water? Noah is getting a cold and it worries me that you're in the same room as he is."

"Puck's sick? He seemed fine to me," Finn shrugged, wrapping his arm around his girlfriend.

"Oh, well, I think he was sick last night."

"Right. About last night…look, Rachel..."

"Nothing happened, Finn. I swear!"

Finn laughed and hugged the small girl tighter to him. "I trust you, Rach, but look maybe..."

"Rachel, can I talk to you for a minute!" Quinn interrupted, sending Rachel spinning.

"Oh, umm," the brunette paused, looking at her boyfriend.

"It's cool, Rach. I'll save you a seat," Finn complied, kissing her gently on the cheek before waving at Quinn.

When the tall boy was out of sight, Rachel swallowed hard staring at Quinn. The blonde took a deep breath before approaching the other girl. Rachel thought Puck had said something to his girlfriend. What if he broke up with her, she wondered. That meant she should probably break up with Finn.

"Hey, Rachel," Quinn smiled, matching strides with the smaller girl. "Look I know nothing happened last night with you and Puck. He told me so himself, it's just... I'm kind of worried that he's going to go to someone else. You know he sort of told me before we dated that he has needs or whatever and..."

Rachel shook her head fighting back her sadness. This wasn't a discussion with a woman scorned. She had expected an epic bitch out. Instead, Quinn was confiding in Rachel hoping for advice on her relationship. What happened last night was nothing. Even Puck had assured his girlfriend of its un-eventfulness. The little brunette felt stupid for a minute and began fighting back the tears.

"Why would he do that, Quinn?" Rachel replied, fishing for a clue.

"I know he's used to physical relationships and I haven't exactly given him that, at all."

Rachel blinked a few times, letting Quinn's words sink in. "Well, are you ready for something like that?" she asked, keeping her eyes just out of sight from the other girl.

"Maybe. It has been over a month and it's not like I'm a virgin anymore."

"Well, that's an awful way of looking at it, Quinn," Rachel argued. "You don't have to have sex just because you're afraid he's going to stray! You should want to have sex with your boyfriend."

Quinn rolled her eyes as they stopped outside the dining room. The other glee kids were already getting their breakfast. "That sounds awfully nice, Rachel, but get real. And besides, maybe I am ready to do it again."

Rachel stood there stunned as the blond left her. Quinn walked into the room to greet her friends. The brunette couldn't believe Quinn meant what she said. Was that how everyone thought? Did you have to have sex to keep a guy interested? Certainly, she wondered, it wasn't the case for her and Finn.

"Hey! I saved you the last whole wheat bagel!" the tall boy greeted Rachel with his goofy smile.

"Thanks, Finn," she responded robotically.

Rachel was watching as Quinn whispered in Puck's ear. The boy's eyebrow jumped up as he licked his bottom lip excitedly. It was official, Puck and Quinn were about to continue their sexual relationship.

"Sure, no problem. I saved us a table, just you and me. Oh, and Kurt and Artie."

Rachel nodded absentmindedly. She was glad that Mr. Schue had packed the day with a full itinerary. After breakfast, they were going over to the hall to watch the all men's and women's show choirs compete. The brunette was excited to see these categories. She had thought of competing individually as well as co-ed, after they had done their first mash-ups. Moreover, anything with music and dancing was sure to distract Rachel from the current status of her life.

New Directions ate happily teasing one another as the other schools filed into the dining hall. Rachel watched Quinn interact with her table. A few times Santana made a snide comment or giggled with Brittany about something. Rachel fidgeted in her Cheerios uniform. Santana had insisted, along with Ms. Sylvester and Ms. Avery, that they wear their away uniform. It was getting to be a nuisance to always dress in the red and white stretch cotton.

"Ready to go, Rachel?" Finn asked, holding out his hand.

Rachel nodded as her boyfriend took her tray, placed it on top of his own, and walked her towards the front. Finn was acting different today, as if he was buttering her up for something. This made Rachel over think everything while they walked hand in hand through the hotel lobby and onto the buses. She kept an eye on Puck and Quinn through her peripheral vision. The two seemed happy together.

The bus ride over to the school holding the competition was short. Rachel was lost in thought as Finn hummed along to his iPod. She wondered if this recent development was due to her night alone with Puck. Was Finn actually cognizant of her growing attraction to the Mohawked boy? Could he see that she was physically and emotionally linked to his once best friend? They followed Will Schuester into the large school and stopped in front of the auditorium. Ms. Pillsbury silently began doing a head count, her white gloved fingers moving quickly.

"Where are Ms. Sylvester and Ms. Avery?" Tina asked looking around.

"They went to the spa across the street," Santana answered rolling her eyes.

"Ms. Avery is getting pasty," Britt replied, giggling as Mike tickled her.

"Okay guys so remember, these teams are here just like us. Let's show them our appreciation and good sportsmanship, all right?"

Puck raised his hand annoyed, "So what does that mean exactly, Mr. S? No booing and throwing stuff?"

"Exactly, Puck, so, if you have something you wanted to throw at them, I suggest you leave it in your pockets or throw it out."

Puck sighed, punching Matt and Mike. The three boys began to empty their pockets of food they had stolen earlier from breakfast. A couple of butter packets fell to the ground as Mr. Schue shook his head, flabbergasted.

"Butter, guys? Really?"

"It really sticks," Kurt answered, remembering the time he was pummeled with the butter packets.

When the group finally settled in their seats, the announcer welcomed the first school. Just as the lights dimmed, Finn leaned over towards Rachel whispering.

"Hey, Rachel, I've been thinking."

The short brunette's heart sped up. Anytime Finn used the words 'I've been thinking,' it was not a good sign. She thought that maybe he was going to break up with her. At first, Rachel was scared; then she felt relieved.

"Yeah?" the brunette replied, biting her bottom lip with anticipation.

Puck watched as the couple in front of him whispered to each other. He was excited by Quinn's announcement of a 'good time' tonight. However, the intimacy between Finn and Rachel right at that moment had driven his thoughts more towards violence than sex. The boy wished he had learned to read lips when he was hooking up with that deaf chic from Cincinnati.

"Well, we've been dating for three months and I was thinking that maybe... you know…if you want we could... go further?"

Rachel turned towards her boyfriend confused. She had let Finn get further than he ever had with Quinn and hoped that was enough for now. This was her longest relationship, but that didn't mean she was ready to completely go all the way yet.

"Like how far, Finn?" she whispered as the all men's choir One Big Hat took the stage.

"You know Rachel, I think it's time we had... sex."

Puck's eyebrow perked up. He had definitely just overheard Finn proposition Rachel. He was expecting her to slap the tall boy or scream out in protest. Instead, she blushed and thought for a moment. He shifted in his seat catching Quinn's eye on him. She smiled seductively before he could tear his gaze away. When Noah finally looked back towards the couple in front of him, the moment was over.

Santana Lopez had been bored all day. She hated watching the other choirs perform. The Latina wasn't exactly hyperactive, but she enjoyed being entertained or at least doing the entertaining. Today seemed like a lot of wasted time when she could have been shopping or hanging out with her three best friends. The girl enjoyed glee club, just not all the bull that came with it.

When the sexy Latina overheard Ms. Pillsbury ask Will Schuester to go out to dinner after the "kids" ate, a plan formed in her head. Sue Sylvester was due for a seaweed wrap at 9:00 pm. Mary Avery was so obsessed with the glee coach that she had camped outside his apartment for the last month and a half. With little hints dropped here and there, the glee kids had no chaperone from 8:30pm to curfew. It was a perfect opportunity for debauchery, she thought. Santana liked drama. She liked being in the middle of it and causing it.

By 8:15, the kids found themselves hungry again after their 6:00 pm dinner and bored of cable television. The entire group congregated in the Cheerios' room that connected to the footballers' room. The boys, minus Kurt, were huddled around Mike's computer laughing as they watched clips from Family Guy. Mercedes looked bored as she braided Tina's hair. The night was becoming a bust and even Brittany was about to fall asleep. The head cheerleader had to do something.

"We could play truth or dare," Santana suggested, smiling at the prospect of causing mischief. Brittany clapped her hands enthusiastic like a little girl.

"Right, because we're twelve years old, San," Quinn barbed folding her arms in protest.

"I guess Quinn's out...so who's in?" the Latina asked. Everyone's hand shot up even Puck's as he exchanged a devious smile with his ex-girlfriend.

Santana was walking sex just as Noah was. They both also knew the game Truth or Dare, was mainly dares and that meant good times. Quinn threw her hand up in the air when Puck gave her an encouraging wink. Rachel was surprised that she didn't hesitate to join in. When Will had given them hours of free time before curfew, she was sure everyone would go their separate ways. Now the brunette was happy to avoid answering Finn's proposal of sex.

"Great I found the perfect place to play!" Santana announced, leading the kids into the hallway towards a large room used as a conference center.

"How did you manage this, San?" Puck asked sneaking a peek under the girl's short skirt.

"I have my ways with the staff here. We shouldn't be bothered."

The head cheerleader flipped the lights on, revealing a nice couch and plenty of chairs. Santana locked the door when all her peers had entered the room. There was a spread of chips, soda, sandwiches and cookies on the large table next to the couches.

"Who's paying for all of this?" Mercedes questioned hesitating to open a bottle of water.

"Ms. Avery, I stole her American Express this morning. It's platinum. She'll never notice."

"Nice," Mike laughed and high-fived Matt.

"Okay, who's going to be the first victim?" Santana inquired sitting down on the couch with her bottle of water. Brittany sat next to her best friend with Mike by her side. Matt leaned against the couch on the other side of Santana.

"Not me, I started last time and just no," Matt protested crossing his arms. The boy didn't talk much. He actually had a nice voice. This made Rachel study him for a second too long.

"Okay, Berry, truth or dare?" the head Cheerio asked smirking evilly.

"Oh, umm... well truth?" the brunette responded, taking a seat next to Finn and across from Puck. The Mohawked boy swallowed hard, wondering what Santana was going to ask.

"Okay, do you know who your real mother is?" the girl asked, quirking an eyebrow. Finn and Puck looked at Santana annoyed.

"Seriously, San?" the Puck questioned in defense. Finn noticed the exchange and stared at the boy who used to be his best friend.

"No, it's fine. Yes, I do know who she is."

"Who?" Brittany inquired genuinely interested.

"Britt!" Finn begged, beating Puck to the punch.

"You know Vocal Adrenaline's coach? That's her."

The room erupted in gasps. Kurt turned to Mercedes shocked as the two best friends buzzed with the gossip.

"Wow," Santana replied. "That sucks, did she say why? I mean why she's back?"

"My dads are thinking of having another baby."

Kurt laughed softly, unable to contain himself. This was like E! News. Rachel's life was actually interesting.

"Good job, San!" Puck spat, annoyed. His ex just shrugged, ignoring him.

"Okay, your turn. You can ask whoever you want now," Santana finally announced, irked that the news was more sobering than juicy.

Rachel made a face looking around the room at her peers. Brittany raised her hand eager to play. Rachel said, "Okay, Brittany, um..."

"...kiss Santana," Mike blurted out laughing.

Mercedes and Kurt's jaws dropped as the two best friends laughed and started kissing.

"You're supposed to ask them truth or dare!" Quinn ordered, annoyed at the direction the game was going.

"So, doesn't matter right now, Q," Puck answered his eyebrow raised high.

"This is so much better than watching cable," Artie stated before Tina smacked his shoulder.

The boys were enjoying the dare a little too much when the girls separated, laughing. After a few lame attempts at dares, it got back to Rachel. Santana was eager to ask another juicy question hoping the brunette would be eager to share.

"Okay, Rachel. One more time, Truth or Dare?"

The small Jewish girl took a deep breath. She didn't want to be dared to kiss anyone. "Truth, I guess," she laughed smiling.

Santana's eyebrow perked as the question came to her. "When was the first time you and Finn ever kissed?

Rachel smiled, remembering the auditorium months ago. "It was this October in the auditorium."

The room gasped as Finn winced waiting for the inevitable downfall.

"We were still going out in October, Finn!" Quinn yelled, annoyed. "How could you?"

Mercedes and Kurt held hands they were so excited. "Ooh, this is turning out good."

"Yeah and that was around the same time you found out you were pregnant right?" he spat, not looking up as Puck held his girlfriend back.

"Just calm down, Q," Noah begged, looking to Rachel as she covered her mouth horrified.

"Fine, I'll go next," Quinn announced, locking her jaw. "Finn, truth or dare."

Finn made a face showing he was uncomfortable before he answered, "Dare."

Quinn smiled in victory, "I dare you to kiss Santana for at least five seconds."

Rachel looked over at Quinn and it was like looking into the past. She was livid and strong and the "Head Bitch In Charge" all over again. Santana chuckled as she leaned forward waiting for Finn to greet her.

"This is stupid, Q," Puck commented as his girlfriend gave him an evil stare.

"It wasn't stupid thirty minutes ago, was it?"

Rachel watched annoyed as Santana pulled Finn into a kiss. The Latina was a good kisser that was evident. Her boyfriend was enjoying himself immensely. Kurt counted aloud and when he got to five, they parted slowly. The two teens stayed within each other's personal bubble, opening their eyes and smiling at one another. Mike and Matt laughed dryly, breaking the spell.

Quinn smirked satisfied with the affect of the dare. The blond was annoyed at how Puck was protective of Rachel. She wasn't sure where this jealousy came from, but it had just reached its boiling point. For some reason she wanted Rachel to feel like she did, even though she didn't deserve the humiliation.

"Sorry B, it's just a part of the game," Santana smiled, wiping the excess lip-gloss from her lips. Finn looked lost for a minute before Rachel pulled him back.

"This is so stupid. I'm done," Puck fumed standing up. "Are you coming?" he asked Quinn as she took his hand.

When the couple left, Rachel was confused. Was this what she had been missing all these years? Friends hurting each other, kissing each other, and making others feel bad? She was annoyed with Finn and at how easily he chosen "dare". What was he so afraid of? After she had just spilled her darkest secrets, he quickly chose dare instead of truth?

"Rachel, I'm sorry," Finn apologized and followed his girlfriend out of the room with the others.

"For what are you sorry for exactly, Finn? Are you sorry because you kissed Santana or because you enjoyed it?"

Finn shook his head as she scoffed, walking away from him. "Wait, Rachel!"

The brunette turned quickly as her fellow glee club members pretended to not watch the fight. "And you want us to move to the next level, Finn? How can I sleep with you? Give myself to you, something I've never done before, if I can't trust you?"

"You can trust me," the tall boy rationalized, reaching for Rachel's hand. "I'm not the one who was stuck with Puck for over three hours. I trust you!"

Rachel pulled her hand away infuriated. "So that's why you asked me to have sex with you? Because you think something happened with Puck last night?"

"Did something happen?" he asked finally, his face turning red.

Rachel rolled her eyes fighting back tears. "No, it didn't and nothing's going to happen between us tonight either."

"Rachel!" Finn called towards the brunette's retreating form.

"Take care of it yourself, Finn!" she shouted, immediately regretting the comment as she reached the elevator.

"I'll take care of him," Kurt whispered, causing Mercedes to stifle a laugh as they watched Finn sulk.

Rachel rode the elevator alone thinking about her night with Puck. The thought helped calm her rage. She smiled imagining him leaning in slowly about to kiss her. When the doors opened, the brunette was met with a similar image, except it was Quinn kissing Puck. Rachel's hand jumped to her mouth covering the shriek before it could escape her lips. It would be the most embarrassing moment in her entire sixteen years of life if her presence was made known at that moment. There was the couple who had left the party early, making out in the middle of the hallway. After a minute, Quinn Fabray pulled Puck into her hotel room slipping a hair tie over the door as it closed.

The small brunette let the elevator doors close before she allowed her hand to fall. Rachel couldn't cry, or speak. She just pushed the button for her floor again and waited until the elevator complied. As the machine ascended another floor, the doors slid open revealing a few people waiting. An older couple trudged in. They had bluish grey hair and walked like it pained them to do so. Rachel couldn't fake a smile for them, even though they said hello. She was numb.

It was time Rachel woke up to the real world. In the real world boys wanted to have sex, even if it was with someone they didn't care for. If they had the choice between waiting for 'The One' or immediate gratification, nine times out of ten they would choose immediate gratification. Noah Puckerman was a prime example of the typical seventeen-year-old boy. Rachel had to know that by now. He wasn't her Prince Charming, just like Finn wasn't. Sometimes reality sucked; however, that was another lesson the brunette was learning.