Here's the last chapter...

I do not own Harry Potter.

Goodbye Padfoot

Sirius Black was dead.

And there was no chance in hell that he was coming back this time.

He had lost his friend again.

This time to death; and he had managed to get himself killed in the most unique way- through the veil.

Where Padfoot would be now? Would he be hanging in between, somewhere in limbo, because he could go no further seeing as he has left his godson behind, his friend behind?

Or was he somewhere in peace, where they say good people go after they die, in heaven probably…

Can Padfoot see him right now? Can he see him sitting here alone in his room clutching his head in his hands? Waiting for tears to come? Tears would come... Once shock wore off...

Or was he somewhere here, standing next to him, maybe? The only difference was that he can't see him now. Remus looked up, searched here and there as if expecting to see some translucent figure or some odd movement that may indicate his now dead friend's presence.

No, no, Sirius would never want to come back here of all places. Maybe he would be next to Harry, watching helplessly his godson grieving...

He was gone, and he hadn't even got the chance to fully mend their friendship that was hindered by war last time.

He looked at the sky, out of the window. Or was Sirius there up somewhere, with James and Lily? Celebrating their re-union...

He shook his head. It didn't matter where he was now. Because Sirius Black was dead.

It's as simple as that.

And Remus Lupin was left behind. Again.

The only difference was that this time he had someone to share it with. But even that person was in hospital, god knows, what number of potions were being shoved down her throat right now, to which she would have made number of faces had she been conscious.

He nearly had a fit when he had seen her lying... Broken... On the stairs in department of mysteries, blood coloring her pink hairs, red. Come to think of it, this year it had happened so many times that he had thought she was in mortal danger. He had wanted to run to her, see to her but there was a battle going on, and it was the first rule of battle. If your companion is injured, fight more hard so it can finish soon, as soon as it would finish, you will be able to help your companion. So he had fought with new vigor.

He had barely come over shock of her being hurt when he had received another blow, when he saw Sirius falling through the veil. It had took all his strength not to follow him, and just as he had saw Harry running towards him...

Oh Harry.

Fate always took people away from Harry, just like him.

Sirius's face, will always haunt him, his expression that showed shock and fear has been imprint behind his eyelids. He doesn't wanted to blink in fear of seeing his now dead friend's face.

Oh Padfoot, you fool… why? Why, did you have to duel just next to the veil?

Remus looked up the wall, where a photo of marauders was placed by permanent sticking charm. He got up and traced the borders of the photo. They all looked so happy. And they are all dead, except Peter, who is as good as dead. Staring into Sirius' and Jame's face, something shifted in his heart and a lone tear slipped from his eyes.

He needs Dora. He has deliberately left her side at hospital, intentionally taken the coward's way because he hasn't wanted to answer her questions once she was awake. He had wanted to transfer that daunting task of telling that her cousin was dead, to Mad-eye.

She probably was awake by now… someone must have told her about Sirius… she must be crying alone for her cousin a.k.a uncle padfoot in that dreary hospital…

He wiped his tears hastily. It wasn't time to mope alone. She needed him and he needed her. Isn't that was what people who care about each other do? Be there for each other in time of hardship, share each other's grief. At least he was remotely lucky this time. Last time he didn't even had a shoulder to cry on...

He took one last look at young and roguish Padfoot before departing from Number 12.

He shuffled his feet in front of her ward's door. Why he was feeling apprehensive, was beyond his understanding. He had known her for almost a year and now he was hesitating in visiting her. He took a deep breath and entered.

His breath hitched when he saw her sitting on bed with a dejected look on her face, in plain hospital robes and brown hairs, looking out of window.

She heard movement and looked up at him, giving him a sad smile. He slowly took each step, dreading and anticipating the conversation that would follow.

He sat at the edge of her bed, took her hand in his and kissed her lightly on cheek in greeting.

"Hey, Dora." he whispered meekly. Judging from the look on her face she knew already about Sirius.

"I woke up... You weren't there... Why?" she asked as a greeting and he stuttered.

"I... Um..."

"Oh Merlin, I am such an idiot." she exclaimed and he looked up at her in alarm. She had an expression as if she has done something horrible.

"You must have wanted privacy... after... After what happened and I am, like some clingy, whiny girlfriend, demanding to you in such a sad time that why you weren't at your girlfriend's bedside, it wasn't as if I was dying, just a minor inju-"

He lightly placed fingers' of his free hand on her lips. "Please, don't- don't say that." he whispered shakily, he could feel stinging behind his eyes. "Injury minor or major, it hurts, and you know, if something hurts you even little, it hurts me tenfold."

She looked crestfallen and he slowly removed his hand.

"How are you? Are you in pain?"

"A bit. They have given me loads of pain numbing potion so it doesn't feels much." her volume kept decreasing with each word and she bowed her head. He couldn't understand what to do, what to say, so just ended by showing a little affection by stroking her hairs, tucking a lone strand of brown hair behind her ears.

"I am sorry for being insensitive." she mumbled.

"You are not being insensitive, far from it."

"-and also sorry for..." she continued as if she didn't hear him but trailed off.

He placed thumb and forefinger beneath her chin and picked her head up so that he could peer in her eyes.

"For?"

"For..." she said shakily "For being so careless, for being so incompetent, for not being fast enough to handle Bellatrix which ultimately resulted in death of your last of school friends... I am so sorry... Remus-"

"I won't tolerate this from you Dora." he spoke so sternly that for a moment both of them were taken aback. He sighed and softened. "You of all people know, no one is to blame. I am not blaming Harry for running off in search of his godfather, neither am I blaming Dumbledore for not arriving early, nor I blaming anyone of us for not being fast. How can I blame you? If it's anyone's fault, it's Voldemort's and Be- that - that woman's fault. Please don't blame yourself or else you will end up being caught up in a vicious cycle, that you won't ever be able to overcome." he caressed her cheek lightly, all this talking was making him realize, shock was slowly fading and it was sinking that Sirius was dead.

"Dora... Sirius is dead... Gone." he said unnecessarily, and saying it all aloud hurt him even more. Before he could stop tears slipped from his eyes. As much as he had wanted to be strong for her, truth was, in front of her, he couldn't maintain any sort of facade. She made him want to throw all caution to wind and let his guard down.

Before he knew, he was drowning, drowning in memories of marauders, in his grief, in his tears. The only support was nimble hands of, probably the only person who cared whether he lived or died. She engulfed him gently, and he buried his face in her warm skin of her collarbone, drenching her skin with salty tears.

He cried, unlike the 36 year old man he was, kept crying until his tears dried, until his voice grew hoarse. Dora kept stroking his back, slowly caressing his hairs, threading her clumsy fingers into them, seeping him with warmth.

"Please, please don't ever leave me Dora." he spoke into her skin, his voice muffled. "If-if I ever make any mistake, you can slap me, shout at me, be angry at me, but please don't leave me." he knew he sounded very piteous, like a small child sulking that his favorite toy was taken, but for him, there was a lot more at stake. "Marauders said that they would never leave me, but they did. Some died, some didn't trust me enough, and some thought I was a spy and some betrayed, but they all left-left me behind. I don't think I will be ever able to breathe, if you left me. Thinking about life without you… makes me ill… Please don't, don't die... Or other-other some other man…" he hugged her tighter, forgetting that she was the injured one, but she didn't winced even once.

He knew that these things that he was saying were buried long ago, deep down in his chest, he wouldn't have ever said these things to her, when he almost sounds as if he is pressurizing her, which was the last thing he wanted because he knew she deserved better, but he had got an opportunity to tell her his deepest desires and he didn't wanted to let it go. He still regrets that when he had the chance to tell his friends that how much they meant to him, he had missed it, now he wasn't missing his this chance. Later on, he will chide himself for almost pleading to her, but right now, he wanted his feeling in the open.

"Trust me Remus, I am not leaving you in any possible way. I won't die." they both knew that there was no guarantee of that, but it was the exact thing he wanted to hear at that moment. He had spent his whole life living in practicality; a moment of fantasy won't cause any damage.

She held him for a long, long time, kept rocking him, kissing any part she could reach, making soothing voices and whispered sweet nothings in his ear, and slowly slowly the pain lessened a bit. The ache was there but that feeling as if he was suffocating has vanished and right now it was too early to maybe even attempting a smile, but he felt better.

He shifted from his place, immediately feeling loss of warmth. He insisted her to rest, at least to lie down and she obliged. He traced a small scar on her cheek, frowning absently.

"I brought chocolate for you." he stuffed his hand into his trouser's pocket and prayed that it hadn't melted or that he hadn't squished it. He took it out and sighed in relief that it seemed to be in proper shape.

"Your favorite, the one that has caramel. Merlin knows how come you like caramel in chocolate."

"Because it's chewy." she answered matter-of-factly.

She tore off the wrapper, broke the chocolate in two and gave him an infinitely small portion. He huffed at the quantity.

"Then eat chewing gum, if you are interested in chewy stuff."

"You hate when I pop the gum, remember?"

"Yes, because it is a chewing gum, not a popping gum." they shared a quiet chuckle. It seemed so surreal, after all the madness, to talk about such mundane things but also oddly comforting that they had it in them to talk about such ordinary things. After all when it was all getting dark, someone has to be light somewhere in heart, in hopes that everything will be fine.

Dora ate all her chocolate with gusto, as if it held healing powers and was already finish when he himself was still chewing that infinitely small portion.

"You are sweet, you know." he said to her, wiping a little chocolate from corner of her mouth. "Even though you eat like pig." he said, trying to sound teasing.

She hit him lightly in the arm which caused her to wince and he sympathized with her by caressing her ribs, feeling the bandages under the robes.

"This is sweet." she said pointing to now empty wrapper of chocolate. He vanished it with swish of his wand.

He shook his head. "You are. You create unmanly urges in me; cause me to call you mushy-mush names that I always hated with fervor since I was a teenager. You are the type of a woman who causes me to go aww over you."

She smiled."But I have never caught you giving in to these urges."

"I try sweetheart. I am not going to give in so easily." he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He had seen her drooping eyelids and therefore almost ordered her to sleep.

She looked a little uncertain as if she wanted to be both sleep and remain awake at the same time. She raised a hand towards him which he caught in his.

"Stay-stay until I fall asleep, will you please?" she asked in a small voice.

"You don't have to ask. I will be here. Love you Dora." he said stoking her knuckles with his thumb.

"And I love you." she whispered drowsily, his hand movements lulling her into sleep.

Soon rhythm of her calming deep breaths filled his ears. He looked into her now peaceful face. She was his lifeline. He realized with a pang that she was all he had left. She and Harry. They both were now his reasons to fight war. He would fight for them. This madness, this war has continued for too long. He hoped that it would end soon. Though what scared him more was that before ending, war will get even worse; things would go even downhill and will get darker. But he wanted it to end. He had lived in dark too long.

He would do anything for her. Anything and everything. He would do everything he could to provide the life she deserved. He would contribute to the war as much as he could. He had lost too many people. He wasn't losing her.

He looked out of the window. It was early hours of the morning; pink and orange was coloring the sky a bit. He had been having a dream lately. Dream of a small house in some suburban area or somewhere near the beach maybe. Where rustle of breeze or waves of the sea would calm them all into peaceful environment.

A house. In fact, a home. A home with Dora.

And it was a dream, he wanted to come true.

First time in life, he dared to dream.

A/N:

Here it ends. But there will be epilogue soon. Don't you want to know that what it was that made Remus finally gave in to the urge to aww?

Anyways. Remus' thoughts in this chapter are bit off canon. I mean in canon by this time he had already decided that he was unworthy of love. But here I wanted to finish on a happier note. That he would stay with her, do everything in his potential to keep them happy.

Thanks to each and every person who ever reviewed, favorited or followed this fic. Thanks a lot :)

And do review for this chapter as well :)