Everyone was walking through the parking lot to get across and into the mall. There was a group of maybe sixteen people; all of Kenny's friends. They were leaving the pizza place and everyone had been given the list of tasks to be done in the mall. The goal was to complete all the outrageous tasks by six o'clock and meet by Forever 21 and if one team finished first, then they had to text all other members of the other teams and alert them. There were points to each task, though, so even if one team makes it to the end of the list first, it doesn't necessarily mean they got the most points. Thus, the team with the most points wins the Scavenger Hunt. Not only that, but each task had to be recorded by photograph or video to prove they really did it. Kyle and Stan immediately partnered together; Bebe and Token joining their team. Every team consisted of four people. Cartman was on Kenny's team with Butters and Red; they were team One, or rather, The Sexy Panthers. Clearly, Kenny had named the team. Team two was a composite of Bradley, Tweak, Pip and Annie; Team Respectfully Awesome, named mostly by Pip. Team three had Clyde, Francis, Kevin and Lola; Team Ass Fuck. No one cared to know who named it, although Clyde was a likely suspect. Kyle was reading the list as he half-tripped over some ice in a parking spot, shouting,
"Kenny, you fuck, how are we supposed to get a stranger to take their shirt off?!"
The blonde laughed, "I didn't say the challenges would be easy!"
Token chuckled, "Knowing Kenny all those challenges are gonna be perverted,"
Stan looked to the redhead beside him and at his handsome face in confused anguish; he really was dreading whatever was on that list. When they got into the building, Kenny reminded them all that if a mall cop caught them, they'd get kicked out of the mall. Everyone was always so uptight; it was too bad that adults couldn't just let the kids play their games. They all split up, and Kyle being the genius he was, decided splitting the team up into two pairs would get more done than traveling by fours. He assigned tasks to Token and Bebe;
1. Draw a purple mustache on a female team member with lipstick and record this by camera
2. Sing to a complete stranger and have them rate you from one to ten (extra points if it's a Barry Manilow song) and record this by video
3. Go into the Urban Outfitters tent, get a pillow, a pair of yellow boots and a flask (extra points if you get another customer to drink from the flask with you) and record this by camera
4. Do the "I'm a Little Tea Pot" dance and song in Hot Topic (extra points if you get audience-participation) and record this by video
5. Go into any store and help a customer, pretend to work there (extra points if you helped someone you knew), record this by video
6. Get a male team member to get a makeover in one of the cosmetic stores (extra points if he keeps it for the rest of the day), record this by video
7. Go into Spencer's and buy me a perverted, kinky gift ;D
8. Get a stranger to take off their shirt in the food court (extra points if it's a chick) and record this by camera
9. Take pictures with three different miniature Jesus statues in the Catholic Supply Store (extra points for perverted placement)
Kyle sent them off with that, which left for him and Stan;
1. Do the Party-Boy dance to three random strangers (extra points if you get them to dance with you) and record this by camera
2. Make a pyramid of books in Barnes and Noble and record this by camera
3. Get a cashier to kiss a team member on the cheek and record this by camera
4. A male team member must go into Victoria's Secret and wear panties purchased on the outside of their clothing in front of the store (extra points if they wear this while another team mate wears the candy-bra in front of the stores in the picture) and record this by camera
5. Buy a candy-bra from Spencer's, a male member must wear it to the following stores; Hot Topic, Hallmark, Barnes and Noble, Claire's and The Catholic Supply Store. Record this by camera
6. Male member must get someone to eat off the candy bra (extra points if it's the same sex or a stranger) record this by camera
7. Female or Male member must get kissed by a stranger (extra points if there's tongue), record this my camera
8. Get pixie-sugar from Dylan's Candy Bar and have a team mate lick it off the lips of another. (extra points for same-sex) Record this by camera
Kyle looked to Stan, "Come on, we've got a lot to do,"
He looked to his watch; they only had an hour and a half. He took out his cell phone and pressed the camera button, insisting, "Stan, you go and do the party boy dance,"
Stan blushed, "No way!"
"Just do it! Go!"
Stan begrudgingly snuck up behind three unsuspecting people and did the Party-Boy dance; one was a teenage girl who punched him in the abdomen, the second one was a middle-aged Asian women who didn't notice and Stan had gone so low as to do it to an old woman who, of course, didn't see him. He rushed back to Kyle as checked off the first task.
"I know where Barnes and Noble is," Kyle started as he turned to the left.
Stan rolled his eyes, "Of course you do,"
They ran up a staircase flooding with people to get into Barnes and Noble, going to the back of the store and making the pyramid. They checked it off after taking a photo of it and began walking out. Kyle was looking at the list when Stan ripped it out of the boy's hold. Kyle was disgruntled at first, looking to Stan, but the ebony-haired teen tilted his head to the right. Kyle looked to find a mall cop on a segway staring at them suspiciously. Kyle turned away with Stan, muttering,
"Thanks…I guess we should keep the list hidden, huh?"
Stan nodded, "Yeah…but how are we supposed to get a cashier to kiss one of us?"
Kyle glared with a smirk, "Come on, Stan, you're gorgeous, just go and woe some girl in Hollister,"
Stan blushed again, "I-I can't just-"
"Yes you can! Go!"
Kyle started pushing at Stan's back and although he put his heels to the floor to stop him, they were pitiful brakes. Kyle pushed him into Hollister and they both anxiously fumbled through the store. He made it to the front desk and asked the blonde girl,
"I-I…uhm,"
"Can I help you with something?"
Stan rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly,
"You see, uhm, I'm supposed to…uh…" he lowered his voice to a whisper, "look, we're doing a Scavenger Hunt for my friend's birthday and one of the things we have to do is get a kiss on the cheek from a cashier…so…uh, could you?"
She smirked, "Gladly,"
Kyle lifted his phone and took a photo of the girl kissing Stan's cheek. They stammered and thanked her and left, Stan gloating about it the whole way out. Kyle didn't allow it to go unnoticed that Stan had to be physically forced in the store. Stan looked at the list and started,
"You are totally doing the panties thing, I'm not doing that…"
"Fine, but you have to wear the candy bra,"
Stan scowled, a rain cloud over his head, "Ugh, fine,"
They raced to Victoria's Secret and into the pantie isles. Stan felt very awkward looking through all the lingerie, but Kyle seemed to be very into it. He was contemplating a light green, lace…thing…did it even qualify as underwear? It was barely anything at all. Stan checked his cell phone; they had already taken more than twenty minutes. He shook Kyle's shoulders,
"Come on, hurry up and pick something! What's the issue?"
"Well, Stan, considering this is all going to end up on Facebook I wanna pick something that will at least look good on me,"
Stan blushed, hitting the back of his head, "Shut up and pick something!"
"Fine, fine!"
Kyle bought the green panties and took a photo with them on the outside of his skinny jeans outside the store. He quickly took them off when he could, though, as he pulled a lot of unwanted attention to himself.
"What's next?" Kyle inquired as he pulled the sheet from Stan's weak grip.
"The candy bra," Stan muttered with despair. Kyle laughed, looping arms with Stan and telling him,
"Don't worry, it's all in good fun,"
The charcoal-haired boy blushed furiously, averting his eyes from the cute display linked to his right side. They ran into Spencer's and Kyle paid for the candy-bra that he had to tie onto Stan. They ran up and down the escalators to all the different stores, taking pictures, but when they weren't taking pictures, Stan would zip up his jacket to hide the bra from the mall cops; no need to give them more suspicion. As they were leaving the Catholic Supply Store they ran by Cartman, Kenny, Butters and Red. Cartman leered at Kyle,
"Hey, losers, how many have you got done?"
Kyle crossed his arms, glaring challengingly at the taller boy,
"I'll have you know we're nearly half-way done,"
Cartman scoffed, but it was clearly a bluff. Stan gripped Kyle, insisting,
"Come on, dude, we've got shit to get done,"
"Yeah, yeah," Kyle was dragged ahead.
Stan looked back at the group to find Cartman watching them leave, his gaze stuck on Stan's Super Best Friend. Cartman's stare moved to Stan's and it turned into an irate glare. Stan turned up the stairs with Kyle, breaking the eye-contact and asking,
"So? What've we got left?"
Kyle ran a hand through his hair, answering,
"We've got-"
Just at that moment, Bebe and Token came racing up to them,
"Hey, guys!" Bebe greeted.
Kyle smiled, "How did you guys do?"
"Great, we got everything done,"
"Really?"
"Yeah, except I sort of knew the guy in the food court…does that still count?"
Kyle nodded, "Yeah, whatever,"
"What about you guys?" Bebe interviewed.
Kyle looked at the list, "We've got to get someone to eat the candy bra off of Stan, someone's got to kiss a stranger and someone has to lick sugar off another team mate…"
"Kenny is seriously fucked up," Token shook his head.
Kyle looked at him, "What kinky gift did you get him?"
"We got him a Rainbow Penis lollipop,"
They all stared at it in Token's hand.
"…is was that or a leather whip, and if we got him that you know he would use it on us the whole way home,"
They all grunted in agreement until the blonde inquired,
"So…should we assign things again?"
Kyle looked to his watch, "Well, it's five thirty, so we're seriously running out of time,"
"Well, I'm not kissing a stranger, that's just gross,"
Kyle sighed, "Really, Bebe? I thought you were braver than that!"
She crossed her arms over her chest, "No way,"
"No way?"
"Depends…who would it be?"
"I dunno, I'd grab the first person I saw,"
"Ha!" She choked, "No way, no,"
"Fine…Token?"
"Nuh-unh, I've got a girlfriend, she'd get pissed,"
He looked to Stan pleadingly…
"I AM WEARING A CANDY BRA RIGHT NOW,"
Kyle groaned, "Ugh! Fine, you're all pussies!"
He stormed off, suddenly making Stan extremely uneasy. He watched Kyle approach the first person he saw; Damien. Nothing good could come of this. Stan started going over with Token and Bebe; Token had his camera at the ready. Kyle had clearly explained the predicament they were in and Damien was more than understanding. To Stan's unexplained horror Damien cupped Kyle's jaw and pulled him into a romantic kiss. Bebe nearly fainted; Damien's midnight hair and dark lashes, tan complexion contrasting with Kyle's lighter tone and tangerine coat, their lips moving against each other so readily. Token snapped a picture and the boys' lips hesitantly broke away. So began the long, dark night of Stan's soul.
The jealousy was building up in Stan, wrapping around all the muscles in his arms and legs, stiffening his hands into fists just begging to crush Damien's face. He couldn't, though, because Kyle thanked him for being a good sport and Damien slurred some perverted compliment and the redhead walked off with them. He checked off the kiss from the list and exhaled sharply,
"No else was gonna do it, alright? I got it done, now let's get someone to eat this off Stan,"
The athlete blushed as attention was shifted back to him; he let his hands fall loose and allowed Kyle's pleasant presence to wash away the aggravation. Bebe was able to sway a freshman in Hot Topic to eat it off him, promising it wouldn't end up on the internet. She was lying, of course. The girl did, though and they checked it off. Token then looked at his watch, exclaiming,
"Guys, we've got to get to Dylan's Candy Bar, like NOW,"
They ran down the string of stores, their hearts pounding with competitive adrenaline; Stan thought of how funny it would be to imagine them all in slow-motion. Bebe with her boobs flying left from right, Token in the front with his strained facial expression cause he was so tired, Kyle pushing past Bebe and poor, ridiculous Stan, running through the mall with a candy-bra over his shirt and his jacket flowing behind him like a super hero. They finally made it to the Candy Bar and bought the colored sugar. Kyle was opening it outside the store as Token was watching his wrist with anxiety writ across his face,
"Come on, come on,"
Kyle was taking off the plastic cap as he ordered,
"Stan, lick your lips,"
"What?"
"Just do it,"
Stan did as told, thoroughly licking his lips until they were intruded upon by Kyle's thumb which rubbed the sugar across him. Before Stan could protest or let out a sound Kyle's hot tongue ran over his lips, gripping at his jaw to keep him in place. Then it happened again. The world fell away and there was one spot light, only on him and Kyle and nothing else mattered. His heart was punching at him, threatening to break through his flesh and land on the floor as tingling sensations ran up and down his entire body, making the hairs on the back of his neck stick up. The feeling of Kyle's hot breath running across him and his thick, warm tongue working against him. He first ran across Stan's bottom lip, picking up all of the sweet powder, then he circled his tongue to the top of Stan's mouth and he picked up what was left on the top lip. There must have been some left as he felt Kyle's lips close around his top lip and slowly release; it took every cell in Stan's body to keep from moaning in pleasure. It was so tantalizing, so exciting, so seductive, so amazing, so perfect. He couldn't have been happier. That was frightening.
Suddenly, the world came back,
"Come on, we've got to get to Forever 21!" Kyle barked.
They all headed after him, Bebe complimenting him on his bravery as Stan was forced to follow. He could barely feel his legs, his stomach filled with butterflies and his lips tingling with wonderful sensations. He blamed it on the sugar. They made it to the store and only a minute short of six o'clock.
They won.