Boo.

:3

Since I was nagged, you get this.

Enjoy.

Dear Diary,

So the last episode of my public display of idiocy ended in a very bad cold. I had to admit, it took most of my energy that I could no longer see what I was doing. Last time I saw my superior was when he visited me in the infirmary.

It made me wonder.

Why would he do such an act of kindness?

Maybe, he's not as bad as what others told me about him. Being grouchy, in-your-face blah blah and all of that, doesn't fit him that time. Maybe, he's just lonely.

So anyway, things just got a little harder as days went pass. Every day I trained to become a better warrior. But unknown to others, even to my friends inside the castle, I'd been studying strategy by sneaking some books out of the library or perhaps from Master Zhongda. He caught me once, but shrugged it off seeing how earnest I was to learn.

Winter passed. I was quite relieved. The weather had become suitable for me to move properly. Not before long, I knew I was going to be trained under harder conditions.

The details are quite many to describe how General Xiahou Dun trained me. I have lost count how many muscle strengthening and stamina lengthening drills I have done. Whenever I poke my stomach, there's a firm feel on it. Weird, but cool. I got abs! My skill with the blade is improving slowly and soon, I can spar with the other rookies.

Then, there's this one night, the night before the initiation test to see whether the recruits were worthy of the army. The General Xiahou Dun talked to me.

"Ai Xin?"

I was having a fine chat with one of the servant friends when he called my name. So I turned around and bowed, "Yes sir?"

"May I have a word with you," it's not a question, it's an order.

I nodded immediately, "Yes sir." I made a small wave to my friend and left to follow him.

We walked a considerable distance away from the noisy crowd to somewhere quiet.

He stopped suddenly, "I suppose this is a good place," he muttered.

My eyes surveyed the surroundings. We were at a balcony, facing the serene city of Xu Chang.

"What is it that you want to talk about sir?" I asked.

He was silent then spoke, "It's about the initiation test."

I knew it somehow. Every time I would stumble or hurt a little in the sparring field, his brows would curve in worry.

So I flashed a smile, "You don't need to worry about me General," I said. "I can take care of myself."

He seemed unmoved by my vindictive reasoning that he merely shook his head, "You're a woman."

This comment had been repeated to me over and over again by guys who think they are all that. Pfft!

"General, even though I am a woman," she spoke slowly. "That would not stop me from doing my best to be part of this army."

Observing the superior's reactions, I knew that he was thinking deeply about my answer. Could it be that there was once a woman like me in this army… who spoke of this and failed?

I could feel my throat accumulate saliva then lodged itself there.

"You may go."

I looked at him. "Sir?"

He repeated himself to me, "You may go."

I bowed respectfully then turned around, finally walking away.

When I was many a step away from him, I could have sworn I heard him sighing.

Training intensified further the following days. In order to keep myself going, I had to make sure every single moment of my time was well-spent. General Xiahou Dun's trainings lasted nearly a whole day… So I'm a bit sleepy when it comes to me trying to stay awake and do some self study.

Around two weeks before the Spring Festival, the initiation test began. The rookies and I were standing in an aligned formation before the generals and the Lord of Wei. On the sides, there were the crowds watching.

A scribe stepped forward and rolled out a scroll.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," said the scribe. "Today, as with any annual event before the Spring Festival, the initiation test of the recruits!"

I could hear the crowds cheering names, but none of them were mine.

"The initiation test proper shall be discussed by the Superior General Xiahou Dun!"

I had to cover my ears for one reason, his fan girls… I saw a reason why women should fall for him so easily. He's got the looks, the bad boy attitude, but if you ever get to meet him personally… He tended to be a little jerky.

The one-eyed general cleared his throat, and held the piece of paper in his hand.

"Hrrmph," clearing his throat again. "The test proper will be a test of the rookie's skill and wit. Only selected will be taken into the army, while the rest, will have to continue their under training."

He sounded like he spoke these lines over and over again almost every year. The test was pretty hard to describe. You have to do this and that and many other things. But the last part was the most exciting of them all, for the crowd at least.

When my name was called for the final test, I took a nervous step forward. The past exercises done like formation alignment and doing drills had worn me out. I admitted to myself that I might not last long in the last test, but just to prove those idiotic males wrong, I'll give it all.

"Ai Xin," rang the voice of the scribe.

I stepped out of the formation, in full posture. "Yes sir."

A sub-general picked up a random scroll from inside a basket and handed it to Xiahou Dun. Xiahou Dun opened the scroll and read out what's written on it,

"Test of fire."

That was then I concluded to myself.

I'm so damn dead.

I had a very bad experience with fire. Ever since those bandits or whoever attacked my hometown had set the whole place ablaze and I was separated from my mother. I felt lost and weak against the flames. But that shouldn't stop me from trying, right?

I thought that when he meant 'test of fire', I would be like 'Go and save this person from the burning area'. But how wrong I was; turns out I'll be fighting against someone in a ring of fire. Wow, how literal is that.

I stepped into the sparring field with my blade in hand. There's this uncontrollable shaking on my arm. I wondered who I would be facing. I hoped it would be easy, but then again, nothing here is easy.

Cao Cao, who was seated on a high dias, called out one of his generals.

"Pang De."

My heart stopped. You have got to be kidding me.

Pang De stepped forward, holding his two halberds on each hand and stepped into the sparring ring. There was a click of stones and fire began to grow at the borders of the sparring field. I wondered how the general would be able to move in that piece of metal armor.

The gong rang. The moment I blinked, I shrieked and pulled my blade up in defense. I felt my boots dig deep down into the ground.

"Ugh," a grunt escaped from my lips. This guy is a towering tin can!!!

I searched for a way out. Taking in the observation, he's got two weapons and I have one. I pulled my weight to one side and broke free from the hold. Pang De moved fast and drove his halberd straight towards me. I swayed backwards enough to see the sharp edge of the halberd swing across my nose.

I intentionally slipped to the ground and rolled away from the other halberd heading down to the ground. I pulled myself back on my toes on a crouched position with my hand on the blade and the other on the ground. I blinked away tears. The heat's starting to get into me. I heard the clanking footsteps of his armor. I made my move. Instead of going sideward, I went ahead. I thought I heard some guy yelling,

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!"

But I didn't care. I escaped the first halberd swung on me and ducked on the second. Quick enough, I am inside his safety zone. I drew my sword and struck against the metal armor. Pang De stumbled a bit back, but easily regained his footing.

"Not bad for a rookie," he uttered. "But can you do this!"

He reached his halberd towards the flames and scattered the ember-filled dust. I closed my eyes, blinded for the moment. I heard the clanking of armor beating the ground at a fast pace. A random thought passed by my mind.

'Does General Pang De move slowly during battle?'

A loud swoosh from above made my body make a decision, and that was to roll away. I opened my eyes again and coughed. The smoke was getting too much. I had no choice but to resort on this unknown skill I used once.

Mustering what strength I had left, I went for a flying attack the moment the smoke cleared to reveal my opponent.

"It ends now," I breathed.

Pang De raised his halberds in defense. My blade struck on the intersection. I saw his teeth grit in the vibration of impact. He looked at me and smirked,

"A nice show warrior, but still not enough!"

He pushed me off. I shifted my weight to flip in the air. I felt an icy touch coming and I moved my blade to a sideward slash motion. To my surprise, sharp needles came from the sword and rained towards Pang De.

He raised his halberds in defense, but there were some that managed a cut on his cheek. When I was landing on the ground, I didn't see him gather enough energy and attacked me with a powerful force.

I crashed back on the heated ground.

"Enough!"

It was Lord Cao Cao.

Pang De lowered his weapon and offered a hand to me. I looked at him and I saw that the fierce warrior had passed. I took the hand and he pulled me up back to my feet.

I looked at Lord Cao Cao's direction, but didn't look straight at the man.

"I have seen enough," he said. He raised his hand with a closed fist.

Standing there in a nearly-disgraced appearance was bad enough. But hearing Lord Cao Cao's final verdict was even worse. I could feel my heart pounding fast against my ribcage.

Cao Cao shot out his thumb and twisted his right hand clockwise. From a few moments of silence burst a loud cheer and applause. Pang De looked at me and nodded.

"Never thought Dun could shape up an inexperience girl like you," he said to me in a low voice before leaving.

I bowed before he left, "Thank you General."

I left the area afterwards, feeling that I needed a good bath. There were a few servants who gave me light pats on the back for doing a job well done. For once, I felt appreciated. I turned around a corner and bumped face full on a metal-plated structure. My eyes went wiry for the moment and it took me a few minutes to see clearly again.

"Silly lady," came the ever-so-familiar grunt.

I immediately blushed and looked down. "I'm sorry sir…"

His stare was weight-burdening, and I thought he was smiling when he passed by me, uttering, "Good job."

I could still feel that warm feeling of acceptance and pride rolling my stomach as I write this. Maybe, I'd be someone who will be known. Maybe I'd be able to contribute something to this kingdom for peace.

Besides, even girls can dream too right?

Love,

Ai Xin


Read and Review.