Disclaimer: Much to my dismay, Criminal Minds is not owned by me!
A/N: So, this update happened a lot sooner than the others, so S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E! =) I hope you like this, it's a little more intense than the few chapters before... Enjoy anyway!
All mistakes are mine, it's late here, lol...
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"Well I never expected you to take the ill look so literally," Kevin commented as he saw Penelope walking towards to her office, her head in a file. He had heard she had returned to work the day before and having heard the team were out on a case, he took his opportunity to meander upstairs and take a look at what Penelope was doing for herself. He was, originally, going to be nice, but after hearing of her new engagement he felt a dagger stick in his heart.
"You kinder don't get the option when you have cancer," Penelope said as she closed the file to look at him. She could see her office door, but it was too far to just flee to. "Even I thought you'd understand that."
Kevin sniggered a little, "I just never thought it'd hit you so soon." He saw her unaffected by his comments so persisted. "So where's Derek now?" Kevin said as he stepped towards her, "Out with another girl, on yet another case."
"We're working a case, you moron," Penelope told him and shook the file at him as she noticed how he had changed. "So what do you think?"
"Doesn't feel good, does it?" Kevin asked her snidely. "To be needing the one person that would rather be working than looking out for you."
Penelope could see what he was doing, and even though the separation was causing her anxiety, and she wasn't feeling one hundred percent she wasn't going to let him bully her. Especially when her chest was feeling tight, and she was trying to ignore something she had just overheard.
"I'm not dependent on a man, Kevin. I'm able to handle this without Derek by my side twenty-four seven," Penelope started to tell him, but she couldn't deny the nausea that swept over her and she bypassed her sudden illness as stress of the moment. "I'm in work to work, the team need me and the faster I work the quicker they come home."
"But this is just the start. Do you really think you're going to marry him and live perfectly ever after? This is Derek Morgan, the man that aspires to his job and other women. You really think he's going to love just you? I mean get a grip, Penelope. You're not even normal anymore. You don't have hair, you're constantly ill and it's just getting worse."
Penelope shook her head, forbidding the tears to fall.
Kevin grabbed her arms and shook her to put some sense into her, "Can't you see just what I went through? This is what I put up with. The neglect, the loneliness, so I guess karma is a bitch, Penny. At last you can understand what I stuck around to experience."
Feeling fear rise in her suddenly, Penelope squirmed away from his hold on her as her chest tightened more than it had in the past few days. The tears now disobeyed her and fell freely and Kevin's words were demoralising her bit by bit.
"It won't get easier, you won't understand, because one day when he calls a quit, you won't be ready for it because you'll be living in your own little dream land where everything's going to be okay," He persisted to feed her the deadly seeds of doubt.
All of a sudden, Penelope found it impossible to catch her breath properly. She tried to calm herself, thinking it was just the stress that Kevin was evoking in her, that it was the stress of the moment, but she only got worse. She couldn't even think in that moment, she was consumed with gathering oxygen into her lungs.
Kevin still had a tight grasp on her arms as her legs gave way and she was falling to the floor heavily. He went down with her slumping body, trying to soften the blow of her hitting the ground beneath her and he could see how much trouble she was in. He loosened his grip on her as other members of other teams swarmed to give assistance.
"Penelope," He started with worrying concern, "What's a matter?"
She could only hit her chest as the fear rose in her even more. Now, instead of the fear of Kevin, it was the not being able to catch her breath properly. She could feel how hard it was to keep a grip and she panicked at what was now compromising her health. Was it another side effect? Or was it a new illness? Was the cancer spreading?
It was as her vision got spotty that she realised that maybe this was it. As she continued to heave, she reached into her skirt pocket for her phone, only able to get Fran's number up, she gave Kevin the phone. She didn't want Derek because she didn't want him skipping another case for her, and she knew, if Kevin had it his way, then Derek wouldn't get a phone call until Penelope was ready.
Putting her head back against the wall, she allowed commotion to continue as she tried to control her breathing, closing her eyes she just wished help was here and now so she could begin to feel like she was going to be okay again. However, the longer she stayed like this, the more tired she was getting as a result of not being able to get enough oxygen within her system.
It was as she heard the confirmation that Fran was going to meet her at the hospital, that she realised an ambulance was drawing closer as someone ran from one of the windows to alert them.
Once again, Penelope placed her faith in strangers and tried to believe that everything was going to be okay.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Compassion of Mortality -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Derek rushed through the hospital until he found the room he had be told and he went straight for the open door. Since he had got the call from his mom, he had alerted the team and Hotch had urged him to go as soon as possible. With the case being just out of town, he had made it to the hospital within the hour. He saw his mom talking to nurses, but he bypassed them, he needed to see Penelope first.
The moment she saw him, she had to smile at the ironic calm he bestowed upon her. He might look a mess, and his attitude might be manic and frantic, but just knowing he was here now calmed her.
"What the hell?" He asked as he went towards her and wrapped his arms around her. "How did this happen?" He continued to ask as he pulled back and took in her appearance. From what he could tell, her breathing was laboured, even with the cannula hooked behind her ears delivering her pure oxygen through her nose and she looked like she had been crying.
"Shortness of breath," Penelope told him honestly. "It started last night, and today it got the better of me."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Derek asked her with a scolding tone.
Penelope gave him a sarcastic look, "You're working a case. You take enough time out for me. You career's going to suffer."
"So you ending up in a hospital isn't going to stop that?" Derek asked her back at point blank.
"I didn't ask them to call you, your mom wanted you here," She told him agitatedly, "I didn't need you to worry because your mom was here for me." Penelope tried to defend herself from not telling him.
Derek stood back at that comment, "Right, so now my mom's in the picture you don't need me obviously."
"I didn't say that," Penelope told him exasperated. She knew he was tired, but she was in pain and struggling to get the right amount of air to fill her lungs at that moment, and all this was doing was making it ten times worse. "If you're going to put words in my mouth then don't sit around in here and do it."
"That's it, when times get hard you push everyone away," Derek snapped at her.
Penelope couldn't deny how hurt she was by that, "I didn't ask for this attitude! I didn't ask for this to happen at all, but I wanted you to remain focused and prove that this isn't going to affect you and it is! My problem is affecting you, and that isn't fair," Penelope bit back as the tears began to line her. "And as selfishly as I want you to be here, Derek, I can't be the reason you lose your job."
"No job is as important to me as you are though. Why can't you understand that?" Derek asked her as his tone softened again.
"Because you tried so hard to make this career. I don't want to be the one thing that makes you unhappy in a few years time." She looked away then, that was if she was here in a few years time.
"In a few years time I know I'll be reaching my happiest when I have you as a Morgan and we have children causing us chaos," Derek joked with her, but he could read her doubt. "I know you feel like this is a struggle, but when I promised we'd do this together, I meant we'd do this together, Baby."
Penelope smiled wistfully, not sure if that future was going to be a reality. Being admitted to hospital was not a confidence solver; if anything it made her illness all the more apparent. It showed her how weak her body was becoming and it proved just how easily this could end dangerously.
"What else is on your mind?" Derek asked her lightly, as he put his hand to her face to make her look at him.
Sighing, Penelope felt the bubble of emotions build within her again, "I overheard Strauss," Penelope started to tell him slowly; "She's using my illness as cause to split the team." Penelope heaved as the sobs clawed at her throat, "I'm breaking us and it's all happening in front of my eyes, Derek."
Derek wiped her tears away for her, "That isn't going to happen in this lifetime, Baby Girl. You need to keep faith in that."
"She said I could get my treatment in another state and I can be transferred just like that," Penelope told him and looked at him with such weakening power. "I can't do this alone, please don't make me."
"Not even Strauss is going to prevent me from sticking by your side and if she wants to transfer you out, I go with you. No matter what, Baby, you and me are now and forever a duo." He gathered her in his arms as she began to sob, and her breathing worsened again, but he knew full well there was no way he was going to be able to fix her and make her feel better when another piece of her life was hanging by a thread.
"Why is this happening to me?" Penelope asked him woefully in amongst her sobs.
Derek closed his eyes as he felt her tone hit his soul heavily, "I don't know, Pen, but I make promises to you with the intent of keeping them and we will show the likes of Strauss that she can't bully someone that is ill. She needs to learn that we're the good guys, not the bad."
"I don't understand why I had to get ill," Penelope said as she pulled back a little.
"No one ever knows, Baby. Life just likes to throw us curveballs, but we make the most out of them, and you and me wouldn't have happened without this. You gotta make the best out of every bad situation. So far, that hasn't failed me," Derek told her and saw her eyes transform with acceptance as the moment gained clarity. "You okay now?" Derek asked her gently, and she nodded as she calmed. It was only then that he let her go.
As she settled once more, she lifted up to fix her scarf and he watched her, not ready to jump into help just yet. It was as something on her arms caught his eye that he frowned and moved a little to get an easier look that the heat burnt his chest.
"What are those bruises from?" Derek asked her as he caught the dark hue of her pale skin as she continued to bring her other hand up to fix her scarf and he noticed a near enough identical marking on her.
"They're nothing," Penelope said, she didn't want Derek getting into trouble for hunting down Kevin.
"Penelope," Derek growled at her. "You better start talking, Baby Girl, before I go to work and get the damn CCTV up myself because I'm pretty certain that wouldn't happen at home or going to work so who the fucks grabbed you?"
Looking at him, Penelope's breathing shuddered for a different reason entirely. "Kevin," Penelope admitted softly. "He was telling me that I know how it feels to be neglected when I needed someone I loved because you were on a case. He grabbed and shook me, and my chest got really tight."
"He put you in here?" Derek bit back with full aggression, and he hated himself as Penelope flinched.
Penelope looked at him, "I was struggling last night, and your mom thought it was just because I was lying down and I refused to get checked out. I collapsed whilst he was yelling at me from the same problem, but the stress of him and Strauss was obviously too much for me."
"But he helped?" Derek said and stood up, his chest pumped, his breathing heavy with anger. He was seeing red that Kevin would turn so monstrous and hurt Penelope after everything, even when he knew what predicament they were caught in.
"Don't go," Penelope said as she reached for his hand. "I'm scared, Derek. Kevin isn't worth it, but I need you." She looked up into his eyes, her gaze pleading and fearful, "Your mom went to find out what they found, but since getting admitted and having tests done they've not said anything to me."
Derek knew he could do one crazy thing now, and let rage motivate him and let Penelope down, or he could stay true to himself and Penelope and be here when they knew what they were dealing with.
There was no way he was letting Penelope down and he wasn't even going to start.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Compassion of Mortality -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
David Rossi had never been possessive over a person, but since Penelope's diagnosis he had felt himself grow ever more possessive in wanting to look after her, and support her. He hated, much like they all did, that they couldn't safe one of their own for once. They had to watch the lone battle and support it, encourage strength, demand power to fight back.
After hours of waiting, Penelope was now resting after more tests, and more poking and prodding only to discover fluid on her lungs. Derek had stayed with her for as much as he could, but now she was resting, and quite literally out cold, he had asked Rossi to stick around whilst he went and sorted some business out. At first, Rossi just assumed that it was stuff to do with the wedding seeing as Derek had been plotting meticulously since the engagement it seemed, but now he was starting to wonder if it had anything to do with the purpling bruise to Penelope's arm.
Penelope had been watching him as he sat opposite her. He had one leg crossed so his ankle of his left leg met his right knee and he bounced his foot as he sat with a hand to his mouth, his eyes glazed with steady thought.
"So you and JJ?" Penelope asked him as she stifled a yawn. She found it nice that even though Derek wasn't around, Rossi would stick around for her as a substitute.
Rossi chuckled as he uncrossed his legs and sat forward in his chair, "You only wake up for gossip now?"
"When if it's juicy like Friday night's make out session, yes," Penelope told him playfully and remained snuggled into the pillows. "I mean, when did that happen?"
"I don't know, it just did," Rossi said and chuckled as Penelope's expression showed she was pressing for more details. "I found JJ working late one night, we all knew about Will ending things unpleasantly, and we got talking about you, and about how we refused to let you do this alone and I just sat there and admitted it to myself - I'm in love with her," Rossi shrugged and smiled dreamily. A look Penelope had never seen before on his face, "I never thought I'd do it again, but loving JJ is so different from before."
"I think you've met your match, Dave," Penelope smiled at him confidently. "I have good feelings about this."
"You and me both, Bella," Dave told her in a positive tone that was almost borderline excitement. "I hear you didn't help your current predicament," Rossi commented teasingly, and watched Penelope offer him a rather perplexed look. "Too much going out in the cold and rain I hear," Rossi pointed out and gave her a sharp look.
Penelope grinned, "Combined with chemo, apparently it can happen. So it might not have been avoidable."
"Okay," Rossi said relaxing a little, "I'll give you that."
Smiling, Penelope lay there for a moment before broaching the Strauss subject. "Have you heard about Strauss?" Penelope asked as she looked at Rossi out right and watched him nod. "She can't do that can she?" She knew the answer already, but she was just hoping that fate wouldn't be so cruel.
"She can, I'm afraid, Penelope," Rossi told her truthfully and saw the fear, "But do you think I'm actually going to allow her to do it?" He saw the fear diminish instantly. "She can try whatever she wants, but I won't adhere to it, and it'll all come around and hurt her career more."
"You think?" Penelope asked as she tired again.
Rossi nodded and watched the exhaustion grip her again like it always did, "I think you need to get some more rest," Rossi ended lightly and stood up to pull the sheets around her, he even pulled her own blanket up around her, making sure she was fully settled before he sat back down.
If there was one thing he knew, it was that Strauss was not about to break the only family that he had. There was no way, that David Rossi was about to see that form of defamation befall them, not at this crucial point in their lives. They were the support that was keeping Penelope going and they were the key to her beating this. He wasn't about to see anything bad happen to Penelope or the team. He would fight tooth and nail for that.
"Dave?" Penelope asked moments later, breaking his thoughts, "Can you please go and find Derek?"
"What's up, Kitten? He'll be back soon," Rossi tried to defuse her worry instantly.
"I know he's not in this hospital and I know he wants Kevin. Please can you stop him from doing anything stupid?"
"Of course, I can," Ross told her sincerely as he could. "I'll go once I know you're settled."
Calming, Penelope finally allowed herself to close her eyes and accept so sleep as she settled at the thought of Derek not getting into trouble over something to do with Kevin Lynch. He really wasn't worth it in Penelope's eyes and she new karma would catch him out one day.
When Fran entered the room, Rossi knew he could leave Penelope for sure and as he left, he pulled his phone from his pocket, and he rang Derek. Little did Penelope know was that Kevin Lynch was receiving karma, and he was going to be sure it was hitting him hard before he left with Derek to get back to the hospital.
What Penelope didn't know didn't hurt her after all.
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