Unspoken Boundaries

Chapter 12

Rick wasn't sure what the time was when the door to Deanna's room slowly opened. He cocked his head and watched as Maggie and Carol slowly stepped inside.

"Glenn's with Carl and Judith at the house. We thought it'd best to give ya'll some time when she wakes up." Maggie said.

"Carl stayed at the house?" Rick asked in disbelief.

"We told him you both need time and that he can come back in the morning, he understood" Carol answered.

Rick was amazed he'd actually listened and his eyebrows raised in shock.

"We brought a change of clothes too and here's the aspirin" Maggie added.

"How is she?" Carol asked, watching as Rick slowly got up from the bed.

"I'm not sure. She's breathin' ok, I just want her to wake up" He answered.

"We didn't get any trouble from anyone. It's gone awfully quiet out there. I'm not convinced that this is going to go away lightly though" Carol said.

Rick's eyes shot to hers in a cold stare, almost in shock by her words.

"I don't care. Christ Carol all I care about is that Michonne gets better and my kids are safe" His tone harsh.

Maggie's eyes fell between them, unprepared for this sudden out burst from Rick.

"I'm just saying we need to be ready if anything happens" Carol offered.

Rick rubbed his face. "Deanna has been kind, even after I had that gun. After her husband's death. Right now we need to be here for Michonne, not worryin' about some stupid fuckin' plan!"

"Let's just calm down" Maggie said, trying to keep the peace for everyone's sake.

"What's gotten into you Rick? You're going to trust these people now? And keep your voice down, people might here you downstairs" Carol whispered, her words condescending.

"Just get out. I haven't got time for this" Rick snapped.

Maggie watched as Carol turned to leave. "Fine, have it your way"

Just as Carol opened the door Michonne started to stir, her eyes flickering open as they adjusted to the light.

"Rick?" She called, her voice breathless.

Rick's features softened as a smile spread across his face. He moved with urgency towards her, taking her hand in his as he stared down at her.

"It's ok, I'm here" he cooed.

"What happened...shit my arm! God that hurts" Michonne moaned as she attempted to sit up.

"Don't move, I'll get you another pillow"

Rick helped Michonne as he placed another pillow behind her back, supporting her into a sitting position.

"We think your arm might be broken" Rick said.

"Here have some water and take these" Maggie said as she brought a glass towards Michonne's lips, encouraging her to drink as she dropped the tablets into her outstretched palm.

Michonne quickly swallowed them, drinking the water like she'd been without it for days. Once her thirst was quenched she turned to Rick, noticing the look of complete relief on his face.

"All I can remember is Pete trying to attack you with my katana. I remember him pushing me over, that's all I've got"

"Pete's dead, I shot him"

Michonne's eyebrows raised in question.

"Deanna was ok with that?" She asked.

"She made the call, told me to. After Reg" Rick said.

"How is she? She must feel awful"

"She's holdin' up the best she can. She's happy for us to stay the night so your comfortable. How are you feelin'?" He asked.

"Like I've been hit by a bus, plus I feel like I've been bleeding...somewhere?"

Rick took a breath. He was so relieved that Michonne was awake and talking that he had momentarily forgotten the suspected miscarriage.

"Me and Carol are going to get back to Glenn and the kids, give ya'll some time. If there's anything ya'll need you know where to find us. I'll see you in the morning Michonne, your in good hands with Rick" She smiled as she squeezed Michonne's shoulder then turned to leave.

"Get some rest" Carol added as she left the room with Maggie.

Rick released Michonne's hand from his grip as he followed after the two women. "Just need to clear something up with Maggie" he told her as he left the room, closing the door shut.

Carol was already half way down the stairs when he caught up with Maggie on the landing. "Hey" he said firmly, his voice barely a whisper.

Maggie turned to face him in the darkness. "You're not gonna just leave me to tell her that she's lost our baby, are you?"

Rick was more than nervous to discuss this with Michonne, he was petrified. Scared that he would say the wrong thing, that he wouldn't be able to hold himself together when she needed his strength the most, but above all he was devastated by what this could do to Michonne.

He could not bare to see her in any more pain.

"This is between you and Michonne Rick. It isn't down to me to tell her. She will figure it out herself soon enough, you need to be there for her when she does. Tell her what I'd told you earlier about the pregnancy, it was your baby too Rick" she whispered.

He almost chocked on her words. The thought of him sharing a baby with Michonne was a feeling that felt more than wonderful.

His baby, their baby, gone.

"Alright" Was all Rick could manage as he shallowed the emotion, turning to enter the bedroom and break his tragic news to the woman he loved.

"Good luck" Maggie said softly.

Jessie was sitting in Deanna's front room nursing a glass of wine when she spotted Maggie coming down the stairs, her face drained of colour, she looked exhausted.

"How's everyone up there" she called out.

Maggie turned towards her voice, placing her hands in the back pockets of her jeans as she met her eyes from across the room.

"Michonne's just woke up, I think she's gonna be alright"

Jessie smiled warmly, looking down at the glass in her hands.

"I'm glad someone's made it through this day" she answered, taking another sip.

"How are you doing?" Maggie asked.

"I'm ok. Just all a bit surreal isn't it?" She offered Maggie a forced smile, as a desperate laugh escaped her lips.

Maggie sighed in response. She couldn't help but feel sorry for Jessie. She was in no way immune to the heartache that death caused, God she had lived it many times over, but she was almost grateful of the fact that she had in her own way come to terms with the new world, Jessie however had a lot of catching up to do.

Just like everyone else in this safe zone did.

Maggie understood that Jessie had been fighting her own battle with Pete, but it was the wrong battle to be fighting. Jessie's shelter may have been just as painful, maybe more so than existing out there among the walkers, but it was still a shelter. Weakness and heartache could get you killed out there and Maggie understood that Jessie never had to realise that fact.

"I need to get back, take care" Maggie said as she made her way to the front door.

Rick was sitting by Michonne's bedside, his hands together as he rubbed them over and over, tryng to summon the right words to say to her.

Michonne was doing her best to fight through the pain of her arm. The tablets Maggie had given her were taking the edge of but there was still a numbness that ached whenever she moved.

It was like a jolt of fire coursing through the joint when she momentarily forgot herself and attempted to move it. She cursed herself for being so foolish, she was better of resting it on the plump cushion Rick had found for her.

"How are we going to mend this arm?" She asked, well aware that the only doctor was now dead.

Rick looked up from his thoughts, still rubbing at his hands.

"Once that swellin's gone down we can line it up with something just like a cast would. We need to straighten the bone. It could just be a fracture"

"Well it hurts like a bitch" Michonne said in pain.

"Just keep it still, don't keep wavin' it about" Rick ordered.

"I am not waving it about" Michonne smiled "And Rick what's with the hands? Can you stop?"

Rick looked down and realised he was still rubbing his hands raw. He released them, looking up at Michonne's eyes and smiling. "Sorry" He said.

"I feel like I've been bleeding?"

Rick swallowed hard as he prepared to tell her what Maggie had suspected. He hoped that Michonne would tell him Maggie was wrong. That she never thought she was pregnant and the blood was from something else, Rick knew that wouldn't be the case though.

"Michonne...fuck" He pinched his nose, avoiding Michonne's now worried face.

She could tell instantly Rick was hiding something. His hands were jittery and his voice cracked with nerves, what's happened now she wondered.

"Rick?"

"There was blood...a lot..."

"Spit it out Rick, am I going to die or what?"

He met her eyes and she could see, see what he was about to tell her. The wordless communication between them was overwhelming, forcing her to realise what Rick was trying to say. The blue of his eyes were intense, fighting back the tears just for her.

"No" Michonne said breathlessly the tears filling her beautiful brown eyes.

"Not our baby Rick"

His head fell into his shaking hands, heartbroken that what Maggie had told him was true.. He let out a strangled sob as the tears stung his eyes, forcing their way without control down his cheeks.

"Maggie told me you thought you might be pregnant" He said so quietly Michonne could barely hear him.

"I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to believe that we'd lost our baby" He allowed the tears to flow, mentally kicking himself for being so weak when Michonne needed him most.

She only watched as the tears started to roll down her own cheeks, staining the dark skin as her eyes glowed in the low light of the room.

"I'm so sorry...Chonne. This is all my fault, I've been a fuckin asshole. If I hadn't attacked Pete maybe this whole thing today wouldn't of happened...I should never have listened..."

"Listened to who?" Michonne asked.

Rick met her eyes. The emotion in their dark depths was too much for him to bare. Her eyes tugged at his soul and broke his heart, to see her so utterly devastated but yet still trying to put on a brave face through it all was why he respected her so much.

"It doesn't matter. I'm to blame"

Michonne fell silent as she watched Rick sob into his hands. The weight of his guilt was crushing, she couldn't stand to see him blame this all on himself.

"This isn't your fault Rick" She soothed, reaching out to run her fingers through his matted curls. He looked up, his eyes insanely blue as he took her hand in his.

To hear her say that was comforting but Rick could never bring himself to believe it.

Michonne was biting her lip to keep the trauma at bay. Trying so hard to remain strong but the feeling was too much. She was in shock and now as she watched Rick give in to the overwhelming grief she slowly felt her shoulders shake with a silent cry, allowing herself to give in and be vulnerable.

Only for Rick.

She cried with everything she had. Her sobs raw and real. She cried for Rick and his turmoil, for the battle he faced every day in his head. She cried for the all consuming love she felt for the man infront of her, for their dead baby and for her son.

Her body shook with the grief of just exsisting in this world and for everything that meant.

Rick brought her head to his shoulder and held her like his life depended on it. He felt the wetness of her tears on his neck as she buried her face into him, clutching onto his shirt with an iron like grip.

He ran his fingers down her back, soothing her pain with just his touch.

"I was so scared when I thought I could be" Michonne whispered into his neck, her sobs shaking both their bodies.

"I didn't know what I was going to do but I felt happy. I wanted our baby Rick"

He tightly closed his eyes at her words as they stabbed his heart, she was happy?

"I'd do anything for you to be happy again Michonne. Tell me what you want?"

She didn't answer and Rick wondered if there was anything he could do? Had her trust completely died after his behaviour? he couldn't tell. So he spoke to her in a way he never had before. Allowing her the chance to see his vulnerability once again, his affection, his love.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me. I was so scared of losing you just now. You're everything to me. I know I haven't shown it, but I love you more than you know Michonne. You've made me a better man and you were the only one to see my breakdown and help me through it. I'd do anything for you, you're an amazing woman"

Michonne pulled away from his arms as she allowed him to gently stroke her face.

"I had a son"

The words were chocked from her lips, just freeing them felt like a great weight was lifted.

Rick's eyes shot to hers, the hurt and sympathy more real than ever before.

"His name was Andre, he was three years old and the love of my life"

Rick could only listen as he took in the information. He knew Michonne had lost her boyfriend, just as he had lost his wife, but he had no idea she'd had a child.

"I couldn't save him. Mike couldn't save him. I got back to where we were staying and he was gone, my boyfriend, my beautiful boy"

Michonne's face was still as she said the words like they were posion. Her lips trembling with emotion. She looked to Rick who's face was in utter shock from her revelation. To lose a child was like the worst crippling pain he had ever felt, he couldn't begin to imagine what Michonne must have been going through all this time.

"I'm so sorry. My God I had no idea. I want to make you happy, we can have a life here, like you wanted. If your willing?"

Michonne looked into his eager eyes and felt her heart snap. She felt better for telling Rick, after all there was a time when he had gone through the same thing with his daughter. He could relate to her pain just as she could relate to his.

"I want to live again. I want happiness Rick"

"Me too, do you want that with me though?"

Michonne stared into his handsome eyes and allowed herself to submit to what she wanted.

"Of course I do, I always have, but we both need to want this"

Rick nodded, bringing his arms around her once more. He would do whatever it took to help her heal and prove to her he was still the man she had fallen for. Still the one from the prison when he had took her in.

Nothing would come between them again.