I'm sorry for taking so long to update like all my stories but I do it when I can, enjoy and review away, thanks :)
She shouldn't of had to creep up to the bar like this but she needed this job, she couldn't put it past Shane not to fire her for this. He seemed to want her and he couldn't have her because she didn't belong to him, she'd never touch him in a million years either.
The bar was closed, it was still early. She was just taking a shot in the dark that he'd be there and she was right, sure enough as she pushed the door, it swung open, easy.
She'd never seen it before. How miserable Shane was, his mouth was gaped open, his eyes sunk deep into his head, he disinterestedly swallowed some beer to numb some wounds that looked fresh enough.
She stood in the doorway just watching his tragic figure curled up on the stool, his eyes swimming with tears that never fell, she sighed rapping her knuckles lightly on the door.
Startled he nearly fell off his chair, finally looking completely at her she noticed the new black eye staring her straight in the face and she didn't know whether to smile or give out.
She smiled, goddam it Daryl. "Carol." He said urgently already moving towards her and she didn't flinch she could tell an apology when she heard one, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I don't know how I'm gonna make it up to you but I will. No more jerking ye round, promise." He pressed looking desperately at her.
She smiled sadly, nodding, pulling herself onto the stool and he soon followed suit looking wary at her silence it made her a little bit glad, he needed a little bit of punishment.
"And your not just saying this cause Daryl punched you and probably threatened your life?"
"Ye know Dixon well." His face drooped at this, his hand seeking out that beer again, "No not just cause of that, I really do regret it. I just…"
He wasn't going to finish his sentence but she thought he needed to.
"Shane you've been an asshole." He's head snapped up surprised.
"Here I was thinking you were too nice to give me a hard time."
She smiled at him, "You were and it isn't cause you actually like me, it's not just cause you wanna mess with Daryl either. So who the hell was she?"
He didn't try fight her which was weird, if it was Daryl she was talking to she thought, no she knew he would, just too maybe get one comment in there.
He fell apart with one sob and then he was drying his tears like nothing ever happened, making himself look small he spoke his voice croaking.
"M'sorry. I just, I fuckin love her."
Unable to continue he threw the bottle in his hands the noise of the shattering seemed to ring through her skull, his angry hands went to his head trying to almost hold it on.
"She's married to my best friend and well we…"
"You cheated your best friend." She was unable to hold back the disapproving tone.
"Yeah for a while, until I fell in love with her and I told her that."
Carol put her hand over his that had dropped onto the bar, "She told me to leave."
She never wanted to be the woman that could break someone's heart that deeply thankfully no one had ever loved her that much except Sophia.
"Shane, you have to move on. She doesn't love you. Your going to get yourself hurt, or hurt someone else." He was forlorn, "and if that someone is me well, Daryl will kill you." She laughed quietly and the corners of his mouth turned up.
"I have to get Sophia but I still have my job?"
He nodded, "See you tonight."
Just as she was leaving, his voice half broken stopped her, "Carol."
She turned back, "Thanks. Dixon's a lucky guy."
She didn't know why her face was nearly breaking at the smile from that but it was, "I'll cover you tonight just come into tomorrow."
Smiling gratefully she ducked back out into the sun now she defiantly had some things to smile about, she needed to find Daryl.
"Well lil bruder I almost proud. Ye didn't leave any bits of Shane hanging anywhere not even his ball sack. Since when did I become a bloody good influence, you ain't trading places with me are ye?
Isn't like in one of those fucked up movies? Cause I couldn't take being as boring as you for that long, old Merle here has got to get his good fill."
He didn't know where the stop button was on Merle but he was sure it was broken that mouth just kept flapping like dam wings, wonder he's hadn't flown away by now.
The mention of Shane had his blood pumping quicker through his body, he knew Merle could probably see his eyes darken as his cocky grin wavered.
"Isn't like in the movies Merle. Never is with us." He said quietly.
"Actually I think I'd like the trade, get me some of Carol. Ye picked a fine piece Deryl." He laughed over compensating his false interest.
He stepped closer to him growling, "Stop that, you ain't allowed talk about her like that."
Merle frowned moving from the couch to stand up, "What I'm afraid of."
"What's the hell that meant to mean." He snapped.
"She ain't gonna feel like ye do Deryl. She's gonna hurt ye."
He was already turning away from him ready to lock himself in his bedroom away from him tryna ignore the feeling of self doubt that was creeping up on him.
"Deryl. She's too white collar for us. Pa may have been a piece of shit but he beat on us cause he said there was something wrong with us. He was right about me, don't let him be right about you. You got something good here Deryl, don't let her ruin it."
He stormed forward pushing Merle backwards his hands thrashing out as he snapped back trembling with rage and fear, "What the hell is all this? Ain't ye the one that told me to what was it, "tap that ass" now your tellin me she's gonna ruin me. Your full of shit. Ye just don't like not being the centre of attention anymore. Merle that ain't my problem!"
Merle didn't say nothing at his heated outburst and he wanted to strangle him, he stared him down until he said in an even tone, "That was before ye went and fell in love with her. Ye dumbass, how are you a Dixon?"
He words sent him jolting backwards and he couldn't figure why, he snatched his keys feeling like his body was on fire. "Where ye goin?"
"Hunting. Tell T I won't be in tomorrow. Can ye do at least that."
"Deryl." He heard him call just as he put everything he could into slamming the door.
Was he fuckin right was he kidding himself could he have this little dream he'd been imagining up for himself, Dixon never got good things.
"Going to see your boyfriend mom." Teased Sophia as she tried failing to put on a little make up, a little bit of effort but she was making it very difficult.
"Sophia." She warned.
"What." She blinked innocently at her.
"Don't keep at Daryl all the time, you know he gets uncomfortable."
She fell back on her bed giggling, "I know. It's fun seeing someone as tough as him get all embarrassed, proves he's nothing like daddy. He would never do that."
She stalled while putting on her last earrings, frozen by the mention of him, dropping down on the bed beside her she pulled Sophia up by her arms so she was looking straight at her.
"Your okay with me and Daryl? This isn't too soon is it? Cause if it was all you'd have to say is yes and id stop it straight away. You're the most important thing in the world to me." She was speaking in a frantic voice she knew that but Ed made her jumpy.
"Yes."
"What?"
"Yes I want you to stop seeing Daryl."
Her voice fell away from her, she felt her whole face drop dejected and she never cursed her daughter so much until she fell into a fit of laughter.
"You couldn't give him up." She managed to eventually get out.
"I would for you."
"But you wouldn't be happy, I'd never do that. You never smiled like you do now, you smiled at me but it always made me feel sort of sad. Now it makes me feel happy."
Reaching forward to stroke back her hair with one of those sad smiles she described, "Sophia. I'm so sorry we didn't go sooner."
"No don't do that smile again." She objected and she shook her head chuckling she couldn't keep up with her ups and downs all the time.
"Your right I couldn't give up Daryl. That's why I have to go."
"It's cause you love him."
Shocking her once again as she got to her feet she debated whether not to lie to her daughter or at least try deny it but innocent eyes saw through everything.
"I do." It felt good saying it out loud.
Now she was even more excited to see him, nervous but excited.
It felt strange being able to drive to his house again without having to look over her shoulder in case Merle found out, that sneaking around had done more for her sexual drive than she cared to admit.
Knocking on the door eagerly she was awaited by Merle's smirking figure, obvious eyes looked her up and down as he purposely licked his lips in appreciation.
"Now darling it was nice of you to dress up for old Merle here, one thing I couldn't do is mess round with my brothers girl, it wouldn't be right."
He was persistent, she'd give him that. "He does have morals after all, I think I was wrong about you." She teased back, Merle leaned back against the door frame really looking at her without some fool hardy intentions.
"I really do like you." He was almost thoughtful.
"Gee Merle thanks. Is Daryl here or…?"
His face fell his eyes now guilty they dropped to the ground, "No he's gone hunting should be back late tonight or early tomorrow. If I know my bruder, god knows I do."
Her face also fell she didn't even bother hiding her disappointment, Merle would see through it but she did wanna hear whatever Merle did.
"Let me in for a beer. Need to drown my sorrows."
"Sure thing doll." He winked clearing the way for her and it was strange that he was probably the most obviously dangerous person she'd ever seen but she knew he wouldn't do anything.
Falling onto his usual place in the couch while she popped off the cap of her beer, she wasn't gonna beat around the bush. "What you do Merle?"
His eyes were laughing before he was, "How do ye know me so well. We old lovers or something and ye forget to mention it cause that is dam right selfish."
"Sad thing is Merle if that were true you'd probably be one of my better options, I don't know, maybe I finally got good at reading people. Had to happen eventually." She smiled weakly and she thought he leaned forward looking concerned must've be the trick of the light.
"Well?"
"May of said some things."
"You. You've never spoken a day in your life, finally breaking out of that shell?"
Looking like he was tryin hard not to laugh his face turned dead serious his eyes staring hers down hard, his voice cold. "Before I can tell you anything. Couple things I gotta know, Deryl ain't had it to easy and I know I rip the piss out of him for not chasing no tail or bedding more women but I got reason to be concerned."
Feeling herself stiffen and tense she straightened up squaring her shoulders against him she'd hold her own, a bit of liquid courage would help to. She gulped some back.
"He ain't never be interested in going steady with nobody unless it's giving them a steady head ache, he goes all in once he's in and don't got nothing to protect him no more."
She tried to stop his brotherly worries if she could just tell him, "Merle," she said softly but he was strong headed.
"You break his heart and there won't be nothing of him left. Are Pa wasn't exactly handing us out candies and kissing us goodnight. He was more the hit ye till ye could barely breathe no more type of guy,"
She took a haggard breath she knew that, even though he never said but she always knew but hearing, having some proof made her imagination run riot.
"Merle. I understand, I know…"
"Naw ye don't."
"Merle's there's things you don't know about me, that might make you trust me more." She pressed but he shook his head determined.
"See I left for a bit Carol. I left him all alone. And I ain't too sure what he did to him while I was gone cause by the time I got back he was pretty dam jumpy. I can't let him get hurt again, I may be a shit big bruder but this is my way of making up for it."
Before she knew it she was taken Merle's hand stilling it so she could let it go and he finally looked at her without seeing through her, he just wanted to get a load of his chest.
"Merle I'm in love with him. I'm not gonna break his heart, we've known each other longer than you think, we met in the airport, he saved me. My husband was beating the shit out of me and he saved me and my girl." She finished not knowing what to expect of him but he looked back to his old care free self.
"You got a kid? A woman with a body as good as yourself? Well shit Deryl has his own built in little family, ain't that lucky." He grinned and all she had to was shake her head in disapproval to have them both sharing an easy smile.
Merle wasn't so bad, what was Daryl on about.
She finished her second beer realising maybe nearly agreeing to playing never have I ever was a bad idea, Merle was untrustworthy, when the door swung open.
He looked exhausted, his mouth set in a thin line, eyes distraught before he finally looked up and realised they were actually there.
Daryl rocked back surprised seeing her probably also seeing their new friendship in progress but Merle waved him over feeling the beer. "Finally convinced Carol here to play never have I ever, were gonna have a proper old Merle night out."
A smile burst out of her at seeing him that she couldn't help him, he looked hesitant for a second before sitting beside her on the couch. "Have fun?" she whispered.
"It ain't as nice without you there anymore." He admitted blushing deeply, she grabbed his hand giving it a quick squeeze she was never the one for being that couple that kissed annoyingly in front of other people all the time.
"That's your fault. All you had to do was ask." She replied boldly.
"Ye's all ready or ye gonna start reciting poetry to each other?"
"Shut it Merle. Let me guess you first. Put the whiskey on hand for this one." He chuckled dropping it in the middle, she hadn't felt so young in ages.
"Carol indulge old Merle here, never have I ever been caught getting down in dirty with more than one party member involved."
"You coulda just said threesome Merle."
"Well?"
She eyed him "we all know your drinking too Merle."
"With pleasure." He knocked back his eagerly laughing whole heartedly as he watched as she did the same screaming "I had a feeling," at her with too much pleasure.
Daryl didn't drink and she had to say she was surprised he'd be a catch for two girls wanting to experiment, Merle roaring with laughter turned to Daryl with a jeer on hand.
"Like a virgin, huh Deryl?"
Cursing his name he threw back two shots rolling his eyes at him, "What's that for?"
"My sanity."
"Cheating."
"Cause you always play so fair."
"Boys." She said sternly and she laughed as they all snapped to attention.
For all Merles talk. That's all it was he was conked on the couch legs draped over the edge of it and Daryl had only taken his two shots, looking very too sober which she was not.
"I'll take you home." He helped her up to her feet and she gripped his hand like a life support until she made it to his truck, it looked like he tried to say something a couple of times but it was all a very distorted image. She'd find out later.
Dam her. He'd been tryna convince himself to quit her all day, not just her, he'd have to quit Sophia to and he was almost convinced to thanks to Merle but then she'd been there when he got back.
All his will power seemed to fuckin crumple into ash, all she'd to do was smile at him in a way he could never get cause no one had ever looked at him like that and he was a dam pussy.
In a bit of drunken slumber she was curled up on the front seat, knees tucked into her chest, she looked beautiful.
As the truck came to a stop he jumped out to go to her side tryna usher her awake somehow she wasn't too happy about it. "Carol." He put his hand gently on her arm rocking her, "Carol your home, Carol." His gruff voice wasn't made for whispering he was still much too loud.
"I'll sleep here. It's fine." She said sleepily but sounding determined.
"No it ain't." sighing he grabbed her, bundled her up in his arms and carried her into the house and of course Hershel who was apparently an old night owl was out, lurking round.
"Good night Daryl." He called.
He nodded pacing forward more determinedly until he reached her bed, tryna not drop her completely on her ass as he lowered her onto the bed.
He was just finishing throwing the blankets over her when he heard Sophia, "Daryl?" she called unsurely, tryna curse himself for being instantly worried he rushed into her.
"Yeah kid."
She was peering out over her blanket eyes huge and frantic, sitting on the edge of her bed he waited until she started talking again. "What if he comes back?" he knew instantly who she meant but she wasn't done, "Ed. What if he tries to take mom back, he never really wanted me anyways."
He had to grit his teeth at the mention of his name, "He won't you got my word on that. Kid you know he's just an asshole it ain't you."
She nodded sleepily pulling him closer to wrap her small arms around him, sighing contently she put her head back on the pillow to go to sleep. "It's so annoying my arms don't reach fully round you." She complained as she drifted into sleep.
Great kid now you got me worried about Ed too, he already had to give out to Carol for going and staying with Merle alone. He didn't wanna tell her what to do but in this instance he had to, she couldn't understand yet.