Okay. I realise I suck balls and everything for not having updated in centuries. Here is my defense:
I left my laptop on the floor and stood on it and the screen broke. I had no way of getting to this story it was heartbreaking. I stared at the wall for ten minutes straight thinking 'Why are we born?'
I got a new screen and the moral of the story is, I'm back. Hoo-fucking-rah!
As a sorry present, feel free to make a one-shot request. If I know the pairing, I'll whip something up in the Kitchen of Pervertedness. With extra chocolate. Just for you.
If it makes you feel any better, the same day my snake bit me for no reason. I expect he was hungry. Either that or Orochimaru is trying to tell me something.
DISCLAIMER: Whilst my laptop was incapacitated I had oodles of free time, all of which I spent in bed with Shikamaru. I don't know why. He isn't an Uchiha. I think my laptop breaking emotionally scarred me into running into the arms of Shikamaru. I think I just needed his chillness, ya know? Not that he isn't hot but like I said before, he ain't no Uchiha. And basically Kishi caught me and got pissed because I was stealing not just his Uchihas, but now his favourite too. (Btw, Kishimoto doesn't have a favourite character but he said if he was a girl, he'd want Shikamaru. I know these things.)
"What is that?" asked Itachi, pointing casually towards the body draped over Kisame's epic sword.
"Dunno" answered Kisame, "It's that wood ninja from the Hidden Leaf"
"Yamato!" cried Kakashi, "Is he alright?"
Itachi turned to see Kakashi running from the cave entrance over to Yamato, and grabbed his arm to stop him.
"Kisame" ordered Itachi, "Put Yamato inside, and keep him there. He could be useful."
The shark man nodded and proceeded to enter the cave, leaving an angry Kakashi in his wake.
"This wasn't part of the deal!" snapped Kakashi
Itachi smirked. "Come on, we haven't got all day. We have to find Naruto."
Kakashi shook his head. "I won't lay a finger on him, and I won't let you either. And what about Yamato?"
"Are you always this cranky in the morning?" asked Itachi lightly. Kakashi's expression became serious and had he not been wearing his mask, much to Itachi's annoyance, he would have been scowling.
"I'm not going to hurt the kid," said Itachi gently, "So long as he comes without complaint, and the extraction process isn't a messy business so I wouldn't worry so much. You aren't backing out, are you? After all, Yamato is in our possession now."
Kakashi closed his eyes and Itachi noticed that he was genuinely trying to control his inherent anger. Itachi would reward him for that later, but for today they had a job to do.
"Kakashi," murmured Itachi softly, "Come here."
His words had a soft command to them, beckoning Kakashi to come closer, and so he did. Right into the Uchiha's arms.
Itachi pulled down the mask and kissed the man deeply before pulling away to smile in triumph for the silver-haired shinobi's magnificent submission.
"I'm pretty sure I'm too old for you," mumbled Kakashi, earning a smirk from Itachi.
"Kakashi... I've never been a child," informed Itachi, "Let's go. It just so happens that I've missed my baby brother... I'd like to see his eyes now."
"Eyes?"
"Soon to be mine," whispered Itachi
"Why?" asked Kakashi, clearly weirded out by this new information.
"Why have one pair of Sharingan when you can have two?" laughed Itachi
Kakashi looked sideways at Itachi as he peered down on the two ninja as they lay together, asleep. Kakashi had joined the Akatsuki, yes, but he had no intention of being loyal to it. And Itachi could kiss his ass if he thought Kakashi would actually go through with this. However, it was impossible not to notice how brilliant Itachi was at the present. His Sharingan was activated and Kakashi could tell that no one knew their way around those glorious red irises better than the dark haired wonder before him. Under normal circumstances, Kakashi might have been star struck, but right now he needed to concentrate on getting his student out of there.
Somewhat reluctantly tearing his eyes away from Itachi's face, Kakashi let his eyes fall on Naruto, who was soundly sleeping.
Curled up at Sasuke's side.
What the hell was this?
Resorting to thoroughly interrogate Naruto about this atrocity later, Kakashi weighed up his options. As much as he didn't really want to, he figured he'd have to use Sasuke as a decoy. Not to mention the younger Uchiha would spit his dummy out upon seeing his arch enemy, which for once would actually be quite convenient.
Itachi hopped down from the tree and slowly walked over to the pair, leaning over them upon reaching their slumbering spot.
Naruto stirred first, and his blue eyes sleepily rested on Itachi, before widening. His fist flew towards Itachi, who grabbed it, pulling him to his feet and away from Sasuke, who, in turn, awoke.
"What the hell?" demanded Sasuke before spotting his brother.
"Itachi."
The name was spoken with such venom that Kakashi could practically feel the hatred in the air, seeping through the usually emotionless voice of Sasuke Uchiha.
"Sasuke."
"Let go of him," snarled Sasuke, "What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm taking Naruto," said Itachi simply
"Over my dead body," growled Sasuke, getting to his feet and drawing his katana.
"That could be arranged," offered Itachi
Kakashi couldn't help but feel that Itachi's earlier statement about missing Sasuke was perhaps a sarcastic one.
The two brothers continued to glare at each other. Or rather, Sasuke glared and Itachi just stared as though he didn't give a fuck. Which to be fair, he probably didn't. Naruto was still clearly confused as to what was going on, not that it surprised Kakashi at all that he was slow on the uptake. The blonde's azure eyes suddenly fell on Kakashi and widened.
"Kakashi-sensei!" cried Naruto, "Are you okay? Did they make you wear that coat? Quick, run!"
Kakashi couldn't run. He risked Yamato's life if he ran, so the only thing left to do was compromise the mission.
"I'll take Sasuke," said Kakashi, ignoring Naruto and addressing Itachi, who smirked in response.
"Good boy," praised Itachi, "Well Sasuke, you heard him, there's the man you're fighting."
At this point Naruto kicked away from Itachi and threw a kunai at him. Unsurprisingly, Itachi plucked it from the air and let it fall to the ground with a gentle clatter. Sasuke moved towards him, and so Kakashi had to resort to bringing the fight to him. He threw a knife of his own, which Sasuke dodged with ease. At least now he had the boy's attention.
"Kakashi," greeted Sasuke, "I didn't think I'd ever see you wearing red clouds."
"Life is full of surprises," replied Kakashi nonchalantly, "Chidori!"
Sasuke smirked at the lighting surrounding Kakashi's hand and without uttering a word formed one of his own. The two flew at each other.
As the pair met, Kakashi moved his hand away and gave Sasuke a look that said 'Save him'.
Sasuke picked up on it, and redirected his fist so that it went through Kakashi's shoulder and not his chest. He didn't know why because he really couldn't care less about whether Kakashi lived or died; he just wanted to save Naruto.
Kakashi slumped to the ground and Sasuke turned to face his brother.
Only to find that Itachi and Naruto had disappeared.
"No..." whispered Sasuke
Kakashi was groaning on the ground and Sasuke roughly grabbed him by the hair, pulling him up to face him.
"Where are they?" demanded Sasuke, making sure Kakashi could hear his ferocity and anger.
Kakashi looked horrified himself. "They're at... the hideout..."
Sasuke pulled harder on his hair. "What does he want with Naruto?"
"The Nine Tails," explained Kakashi, "And your eyes."
"My eyes?" asked Sasuke, confused.
"To enhance his own," confirmed Kakashi
Sasuke sifted through the information before sitting down in front of Kakashi.
"We're going to have to go and save him," said Sasuke, deciding not to give his former sensei a choice in the matter.
"There's a chance we won't win," warned Kakashi
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "If worse comes to worse I'll give him my eyes in exchange for Naruto and then you can take him and run."
"What?" demanded Kakashi, "Why the hell would you do that? What's going on with you two anyway? Naruto can't go a day without crying over you and yet you mess him around like this? I can rescue Naruto because he means a lot to me. Why would you care whether he lives or dies?"
"Because I love him!" blurted Sasuke angrily before realising what he just said. Kakashi gaped through his mask.
What?
Sasuke felt slightly dizzy for a moment. No... no, no, no, no, no.
He couldn't be in love with Naruto. He couldn't afford to fall in love it was-
True.
A new emotion surged up in Sasuke. He would take Naruto from Itachi's clutches if it was the last thing he did.
Kakashi said something he wasn't anticipating. "Okay. Sure there's a chance we won't win but it doesn't matter. This is my fault in the first place. Those who abandon their friends are scum. Are you with me?"
Sasuke smirked confidently. "Let's go get our knucklehead."
Hmph. Kakashi really was disgustingly unoriginal. It was plagiarism really. I mean, who stole lines from a dead man?
Watching the two Shinobi reconcile and hope was most amusing for the man. They wouldn't beat Itachi.
Unless, of course, Itachi had no intention of winning.
He repositioned his mask and rested his chin lightly in his hands, perching on a branch in the shadows.
Shinobi like that were pathetic.
Shinobi in general were pathetic.
But they wouldn't be around much longer so it wouldn't really matter.
"Zetsu," murmured the man.
"Yeeeeess?"
The plant man appeared beside him, waiting expectantly for an order.
"This will be a good fight. Make sure you're there," he instructed softly.
"On it."
And with that, the man dissipated, leaving no trace behind.
OH SASUKE! Kakashi ain't Naruto so I don't know why the fuck you'd tell him that, but whatever.
Hello there Obito.
Should be getting them in more frequently now.
My laptop is called James.
Why the fuck did I call it James?
NOTICE: I am in the middle of writing a Final Fantasy fanfiction, which I will be uploading soon, a Pokemon fanficiton, which I will be uploading soon, and a Free! Iwatobi Swim Club one, same goes.
Do I or don't I do LeviXEren (SNK) because I really want to.
Fuck my life... Sasuke.
Oh you.
Why do I talk to myself.