Chapter 12:

The knock on my front door came two minutes before nine. Edward must be eager this evening. I'd invited him over two nights ago but he'd regrettably told me he was already promised to one of his escort clients. Then I had suggested the following night and he was again otherwise detained. It seemed to be that he was busier at "work" than he'd been in a while and I hesitated for a moment to make plans with him at all. But I knew if a few more days passed without seeing him I'd start to get anxious. I would miss him. I wondered just how many other clients shared my sentiment. Probably better not to try and count.

When I opened the door, Edward was already kneeling, with his head down and hands resting on his thighs. I didn't understand what he was doing since he'd always greeted me in a friendly way when I opened the door in the past. "What the fuck are you doing, you crazy person?" I hissed and yanked on his arm to get him to move. "I have neighbors for crying out loud!"

Edward stood up and allowed me to drag him into my apartment and shut the door. Luckily, no one else was walking through the halls to see him. I would have rather moved to a new building than try and explain that to my neighbors.

"Sorry," he said with his hands up defensively. "I saw the way you were staring at the couples playing at that club the other night; it seemed like you were really open to that type of play."

I blushed and walked into the living room area of my apartment. He was correct that I'd been fascinated with the ways other people at the club were expressing their sexuality, but that didn't mean I wanted to imitate it. In fact, I was greatly conflicted about the type of domme I wanted to be. Did I simply want a boyfriend who enjoyed being dominated in the bedroom? Or would that become unfulfilling and lead me to find a submissive who'd come to play for an entire weekend? I hadn't given these questions enough serious thought because I'd let myself become wrapped up in Edward and the type of play he enjoyed. I still had to figure out what kind of play was right for me.

"Get your ass over here and strip down. No clothes for you the rest of the evening," I demanded with a hint of anger still in my voice. Edward moved quickly to stand before me and slowly removed all of his clothing.

"You are here to serve me, Edward, and I expect you to respect my boundaries while we are engaging in these training sessions. Our time together is precious to me, but it does not start until you enter this apartment and the door is safely closed. Do you understand?"

Edward's eyes sparkled as I reprimanded his actions, and I wondered if he'd get gratification out of a punishment. "Yes, Mistress," he replied seriously as he bowed his head and cast his eyes to the floor. I could see his muscles relax as he slipped into the mindset of an obedient submissive.

"Very good. Now that I have your full attention, I'd like to try something new with you tonight. As I just mentioned, you are serving me for your own sexual gratification, but mainly to aid in my education into this lifestyle. Since I am still relatively new at this, please feel free to speak if you have concerns with my technique during this scene. And also, of course, remember your safe words. Speak them now."

"Yellow and red, Mistress," Edward responded without looking up. I grinned. His submission turned me on like nothing I ever felt before. One thing I was sure about was I would definitely be requiring a sexual partner willing to surrender himself to me.

"Get on your hands and knees and follow me."

As I slowly walked towards my bedroom door, I discarded one of my socks; then the other. My pants were left by the bathroom door and my shirt near the kitchen. I watched Edward crawling behind me; his eyes focused straight ahead as my clothes fell to the floor in his peripheral vision. I loved the way it made me feel to watch him on his hands and knees, following me like a puppy. I dropped my bra just before we reached the bedroom and Edward carefully crawled over it without acknowledging it. Good boy.

"Stop right there and kneel. Head down." Edward listened and his unwavering obedience sent a thrill down my spine. It still amazed me how he heeded my commands so willingly without knowing what I planned to do.

I grabbed metal handcuffs from the dresser and instructed him to place his hands behind his back. I cuffed his wrists at the base of his spine and rubbed my hand over his back soothingly. I knew I would have his compliance, but it was important to also have his trust. When his body was relaxed and his cock hard, I sat on the end of my bed and slowly slipped my panties off.

"Look at me, pet," I instructed and tossed the panties aside. His eyes never left mine. I scooted my butt to the edge of the mattress and spread my legs wide. "Lick me. Make me come," I said sternly.

Edward inched forward and buried his face between my thighs. He started off slow; gentle and teasingly. I moaned and pressed my hips harder against his mouth. I played with my breasts as Edward licked me and fucked me with his tongue. Occasionally, he would glance up and watch me touching myself. I knew he loved to see me roll my nipples between two fingers and he growled into my pussy when I lifted my breast to my tongue for a lick.

Sometimes I wondered why I put myself through this emotional torture. Edward was such a beautiful and experienced submissive; I'd have a hard time finding someone who could make me feel the same way he did. But every time I thought about what I would need to do in order to keep him around it was too difficult to comprehend. Regardless of our growing differences, I still couldn't bring myself to end our arrangement. Mostly because of his tongue. His expert tongue that was working me over as I thought about anything I could to prolong the buildup to orgasm.

Edward was far too skilled in the art of making a woman come, and within minutes I was struggling to remain in control of my quivering body. His teeth nipped at my clit and I was done. I screamed as I rode out the powerful orgasm, but he didn't relent in licking and sucking my tender flesh until I pulled away from his face.

As I caught my breath, I saw Edward sit back on his heels and wait patiently for his next instruction. "Stand up," I ordered as I hopped down from the bed.

I unhinged the handcuffs from his wrists and pushed on his back until he fell forward on the bed. "Flip over and lay still. I'm going to test your control tonight. I want you to vocalize. Tell me how each new thing feels," I instructed.

Edward breathed heavily and nodded his head in agreement. I had a number of new toys I planned to use on him to test his limits and see how far he would let me go. First, his blackout goggles. I wanted to experiment with his body in private. Edward glared at me with intrigue when I showed them to him.

"What are you thinking?" I asked seriously.

Edward smirked. "I always get apprehensive when you want to take away my sight, Mistress."

"Do you trust me?"

"Completely."

"Good. Just remember to vocalize your concerns. And tell me if I do something wrong," I added.

I placed the goggles over Edward's head and fit them snugly over his eyes. Next, I found my long chain handcuffs and tightened one end to Edward's left wrist and the other to his left ankle. His knee had to bend with his foot flat on the mattress in order to make the chain reach. I did the same with his right wrist and ankle, leaving him exposed and completely vulnerable.

"What color, Edward?"

"Green. Greenish yellow," he answered.

I chuckled under my breath. "Would you feel better if I told you what instruments I'm holding in my hands?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Very well. I hold here a strand of anal beads, some warming massage oil, and a wartenberg pinwheel. Now what color?"

"Green, Mistress."

"Excellent," I replied, my toes curling with excitement.

I began by giving Edward a massage. I loved having the opportunity to run my hands freely over his entire body. His cock had been hard before I even began, but it stayed firm and straight as I rubbed him down and kneaded the muscles in his arms and shoulders. A few times I paused to suck his cock into my mouth, fingering myself at the same time. Even without his sight, I knew Edward had an idea of what I was doing since I moaned around him and the bed vibrated with each thrust of my fingers. It was difficult to resist the urge to straddle his hips and take him the way I really wanted. The scene was turning into an exercise in control for us both as I stopped before either of us came too close to orgasm.

Next, I retrieved the pinwheel to continue the sensory play. Edward's breath caught in his throat the first time he felt the spiky pricks of the wheel cross his skin. I began by rolling it across his abdomen. Once I knew he was adjusted to the feeling of the wheel I moved down to his thighs. I was reluctant to get to close to his groin for fear of hurting him, but Edward's increasing groans and whimpers encouraged me to continue. I then tested it out over his nipples, which resulted in a sharp gasp and moan from Edward's lips. I covered his mouth with mine and kissed him slowly as the wheel rolled along the lengths of his arms.

When I'd felt like I'd covered all the most sensitive regions, I put the pinwheel aside. "Do you remember the last item I mentioned, pet?" I asked softly.

"Yes, Mistress. The beads."

"I want you to stay relaxed while I prep them with lube. I think I recall that you've used these before?"

"Yes, Mistress," he responded with eagerness.

I smiled though he couldn't see it. "Be warned, one day I will find something you've never tried before, Edward," I teased.

Edward bucked his hips towards me in silent agreement. I loved that he wouldn't speak unless spoken to. The more power and control I felt, the more confidence I had to push both of our comfort levels. I stroked his knee with my hand and teased his hole with a lubed finger. "Let's proceed. I want you to count as I go. I think we'll try to make it to five," I announced and gently pushed the first bead inside his body. It slipped in easily, and Edward said "one," clearly and calmly.

After a few seconds I went to the second bead. "Two," he said in the same relaxed tone.

The next was larger, but still Edward spoke evenly as he counted. "Four" and then "five."

"Have you had enough?" I asked him. I'd tested a different set of beads out on myself earlier in the week and I was only comfortable to five bubbles. Leave it to Edward to be up for a greater challenge.

"More, please. Give me more, Mistress," he breathed.

"Very well. You tell me when to stop. Here's six." He moaned in pleasure. "Here's seven," I said cautiously.

"One more, please," he grunted.

Precum seeped out of the tip of his penis as I inserted the eighth and final bead on the strand. Edward's head tilted backwards as his hips bucked off the bed. I moved into position; slowly lowering myself onto his throbbing cock as far as it would go. We groaned in unison as my insides stretched to fit him. When I started to move, the expression on Edward's face changed. I studied him closely to try and gauge how long I had before he might come. It looked like I didn't have long.

"Calm even breaths, Edward. I need you to control your urge to come," I said soothingly.

"I'll try, Mistress," he choked in uneven gasps.

I lifted my hips up so his cock was almost completely extracted from my body. "I don't want to hear that you'll try. Control your urge."

Edward nodded his head in response and I watched as he began blowing air out of his mouth in a long and slow fashion. I gave him a full minute to regain control before sheathing his cock inside me again. My arms wrapped around his thighs for support and I began rocking myself against him again. Up and down, up and down, I fucked myself on his long hard cock. He felt amazing inside me; so thick and stiff.

His face gave away once more how much he was struggling to control his orgasm. I was close to coming too so this time when I slowed my pace, I wanted to keep myself on the brink. I slipped my index finger into Edward's mouth and he sucked on it eagerly. Perhaps he knew the sweet torture was almost over. I rubbed my wet finger over my clit until I was close to coming. This time, when I began thrusting against Edward I had one hand on my clit and the other on the anal beads protruding from his backside. Edward moaned, knowing we were close to the end. I quickened my pace and shouted that I was coming soon. I knew he'd be ready too.

"Tell me when you're coming, pet," I panted.

Thump. Thump. Thump. My hips smacked against his. I screamed through my orgasm and was sure he could feel my walls constricting around his cock.

Even though I'd finished, I continued pounding myself against him and he was thrusting his hips up to meet me with a frantic speed. "Now! It's happening now," he shrieked a few moments later. I tugged hard to extract the anal beads as he spoke and his voice rang out loud and emphatic as his orgasm overtook all senses. He continued groaning even after I was sure he'd finished.

I got up to clean myself off and when I returned from the bathroom Edward was rolled onto his side in the fetal position. I quickly freed him from the handcuffs around his wrists and ankles. "Are you okay?" I asked softly. My hand threaded through his hair once and then removed the goggles from his eyes.

Edward smiled contently and batted his long lashes at me. I grabbed a pillow and slipped it under his head. "Lay with me," he requested weakly.

I wanted to lay with Edward; wanted to hold him in my arms and stroke his hair some more. But my senses told me that would be a mistake. "I can't. And you need to get up in a minute or you're going to end up falling asleep," I said kindly.

"So what," he mumbled into the pillow.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the submissive is supposed to sleep in the domme's bed by invitation only."

Edward looked at me quizzically. "But I'm already here, so you're kicking me out?"

"I just think you should go home and sleep in your own bed."

"I've slept here before," he replied, rolling onto his back and reaching out a hand to me. I backed away.

"Well, it's a hard limit for me now. I can't blur any more lines with you. Things will get too complicated," I explained. Edward's expression was sad and I wondered if he understood what I was saying. Did he know my heart couldn't take the pain that would follow in the morning? Waking up beside him would feel so good, but it would hurt equally bad when he left me to go meet his next client.

A few minutes later, I walked him to the door and watched as he gathered his clothes from the living room floor. "What do you have going on tomorrow?" he asked as he pulled his jeans on and buttoned them.

"Nothing much. I'm going to work on my painting, watch some television, and maybe run to the grocery store. Why? What are you doing?"

"No plans, just wanted to know what you'll be up to."

"And what will you be up to?" I countered. "Going to meet another lady friend tonight?"

Edward shrugged. "Tonight? Nah. I'm just going to go home to eat, sleep, and probably dream about you."

"Right," I scoffed opening the front door wide. I purposely didn't look into his eyes; afraid of what I might see in them. It was time for Edward to leave before I changed my mind and begged him to stay.

He slipped on his sneakers and slowly tugged the t-shirt over his head. Reluctantly, he stalked towards the open door and turned to say one last thing to me. "It's the truth. I wish you'd have let me stay. I could have cooked you breakfast, but since I'm being sent home I'll have to settle for this."

Edward surprised me by wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him for a searing kiss. My mouth opened instinctively and he capitalized on my moment of weakness. He kissed me long and hard, as if he was trying to say without words how he felt about it. His message was lost in the cloud of lust that formed around us.

Finally, he let go of my waist and stepped back. "Until next time," he whispered and slipped out into the hall. I closed the door behind him, locked my deadbolt, and wiped a tear off my cheek.

I wandered around my apartment for a while; picking up after myself and doing some light cleaning. My mind was buzzing from my scene with Edward and there was no way I could fall asleep yet. I washed the dishes and wiped down all the countertop space. As I cleaned I thought back over the last few hours about how happy I'd been while Edward was with me. I tried to recall ever feeling that same happiness with Jasper. Certainly the sex was far superior with Edward, but there's more to life than sex and Jasper did a damn good job of making the rest of our time together very happy. Jasper provided the love I needed but I gave that up because it wasn't enough. Now Edward provided the sexual satisfaction I'd been craving; only now the love part was missing again. I knew that to be truly happy I needed to find someone who could give me both. I remembered complaining to Edward that I didn't think a man like that existed. He'd been the one to tell me I would find it. Though he never promised I would find it with him.

The next morning, I was awoken by the buzzing of an incoming text message. It was from Edward, asking me to come over ASAP. Glancing at the clock I saw that it was only eight. Instantly, my mind went into panic-mode, wondering what new crisis had arisen while I slept. We'd only parted ten hours earlier, when Edward left my apartment after our scene. How could he have gotten into trouble over night?

Still, I jumped out of bed and rushed around to get ready. I sent him a quick reply text so he knew I was coming and then jumped into the shower. On the drive over to his house I worried about dozens of scenarios that a person in Edward's position may be forced to deal with. Had Alice discovered the truth about him? Was there another STI scare at MMM? Could he have gotten one of his clients pregnant? The possibilities were racing through my mind as I hurried up to Edward's apartment and softly knocked on the door.

"Come in," Edward called, his voice muffled through the door.

I let myself in and looked around, unable to find him at first glance. "Edward?" I called out softly, wondering if Alice was asleep in her room. It felt strange to be letting myself into his apartment, especially not understanding why I was even there.

"Back here in my bedroom," he replied so quietly I could hardly hear him.

I prepared myself for the worst; maybe he'd thrown out his back during a scene or an unfulfilled client left him handcuffed to his bed. I dismissed both those possibilities as I walked down the hall towards his open bedroom door. I'd seen Edward twist his body into all kinds of positions without difficulty, and the idea of a client being dissatisfied with his performance seemed very unlikely.

My mouth dropped open as I entered his room. The only light in the room was a soft bulb in the lamp on his nightstand. Edward was lying in the center of his bed, naked and stroking his erect cock. "What the fuck is this?" I demanded.

Edward smiled at me and said in a sweet voice, "I missed you. Wanna play?"

"What has gotten into you? We just played last night."

"You said you had no plans today... I thought maybe we could start the day off right, you know?"

"You called me over here for a booty call?" I asked indignantly. "I know you're the one training me... but I'm quite certain that as dominant, I should be deciding when and how we fuck."

Edward stretched his arms over his head, resting them on the pillow. "You're always the one to decide the when, where, and how. I'm simply offering myself to you, Mistress."

"You want me to just come up with a scene on the spot because you woke up with some morning wood? What did you think would happen here, I'd be unable to resist your cock and just strip my clothes off and ride you?" I asked, my arms crossing over my chest. I was mad, partly for being summoned to his apartment for sex, but mostly because I was enticed by his nakedness and his readiness to serve me was turning me on. Damn him.

Edward smiled and bucked his hips in the air. "Yes, please."

I was weak where this man was concerned, but not that weak. Instead of stripping down and jumping onto his waiting cock, I walked around the side of his bed and sat down next to him. My right hand wrapped around his length because despite my anger, I did still want to be touching him. He closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of my hand on his body.

"I have no idea what you and I are doing together," I admitted somberly, "besides the obvious physical attraction, and the fact that I still feel like I have a lot of practicing to do, of course. But you and I are quite different people, Edward."

"Yet we share the same needs, Mistress," he replied, opening his eyes to see me.

I shook my head. "Perhaps, but you go about fulfilling those needs with much more frequency then I do. Isn't that why you still feel the need to work for MMM? You once told me that I owned you, but I've learned that no one owns you, Edward. There are many people you sleep with that must feel the same way I do; we all want to claim ownership of your body. Instead we each have to settle for just a small piece of you."

"We're friends and we're lovers," he countered. "I understand your needs in a way that boyfriend of yours never did. That's what I meant when I said you owned me; that I give you permission to do with me whatever you wish. I relinquish control of my body when we are together; I trust you with it completely."

"When you said those words to me I took them a bit more to heart than I should have," I sighed. "Look, I understand what you're trying to do here. You offering your submission to me this morning is a gift, and I am honored to be chosen... but I can't play with you here; not with all your former and current conquests staring at me."

We both looked over to the wall opposite his bed and reflected on the dozens of faces staring back at us. It was too much of a reminder of what really stood between Edward and I having a long lasting sexual relationship.

"I've told you how much more important you are to me than any of them," he said defensively. I sat up straighter and he could tell from my body language that I was pulling away from him. "You have me... more than anyone else on that wall."

"Unfortunately, getting to clock the most hours with you is just not enough for me. When we are together I'm happy, and yes, I feel more alive dominating you than I've ever felt before. But then it's over, and you leave. And I'm left wondering who you're leaving me to go fuck next. I wonder how the next lonely woman will choose to take your cock, and whether or not the next man will abuse you for his own sick pleasure."

Edward sat up, his cock sliding out of my grasp. He was clearly offended by the way I described his other clients. "I know you would prefer it if no one else was ever to seek my services again, but you know how much I crave that attention. I can't help it if my clients enjoy many different styles of play. How would you feel if I asked you to stop using humiliation in our scenes?"

Angry and embarrassed by his words, I stood up and walked towards the doorway. "It would wreck you," he added when I had no response. "I know that's how you get the control you need. It's what makes you feel powerful. And I'm happy to serve you in that way."

My cheeks flushed red. I felt like at any moment I was going to bolt down the hallway to hide my tears from this man. "You said you got off on experiencing that shame and humiliation."

"Yes I do. I get off on many different kinds of play," he replied.

"I hear you when you say that you find the most satisfaction by sharing yourself with lots of different partners, but I don't know how long I can continue risking my own exposure if you're going to be so reckless." I was fighting back strong emotions at that point. I hadn't intended to start a fight with Edward, but a lot of feelings were bubbling to the surface. After that kiss he gave me the night before, we both seemed to be confused and emotional.

"I make a lot of money at MMM; money that I need to support myself and Alice," he reasoned.

That made my feelings bubbled over. I laughed without humor. "You are so full of shit! I know all about your college trust funds. And your uncle's company! Don't give me that bullshit about working for Emmett because you don't have other options."

"Alice," Edward replied with a sharp tone to his voice.

"Yes, Alice told me. I'm sorry that I've betrayed her confidence, but I'm so sick of you making excuses for the lifestyle you live."

Edward's eyes glanced out to the hall towards Alice's bedroom door. "No, I mean please keep your voice down, because Alice is still sleeping."

I growled and stalked angrily down the hall to the living room, not caring if I woke up his sister. Edward clumsily grabbed a pair of boxers and slipped them on as he chased after me.

I turned quickly on my heel and stared him in the eye. "I know in some way you care about me. I can feel it when we're together," I gushed, my voice straining as I fought to keep my emotions inside.

"Yes, I care about you. I've told you this," he responded calmly, still trying to shush me.

"I don't get why I'm not enough for you."

Edward let out a long sigh and ran his hand through his hair. "Bella, I.."

Suddenly, the door to Alice's bedroom opened and a man clad only in boxer briefs stepped out. Edward and I both turned towards the sound and I stood in shock as my brain processed the identity of Alice's overnight guest.

"Jasper? What are you doing here?" I gasped.

"What are you doing here?" he countered. "Are you sleeping with this guy?"

I stood frozen in place as my ex-boyfriend pointed at Edward in disgust. Alice poked her head out around Jasper's body and squeezed her small frame through the doorjamb. "Bella, do you know Jazz?" she asked in a small voice.

Edward did a double take between me and the man I used to love. With him wearing only boxers, it appeared as if I'd just spent the night in Edward's room. "How could you not tell me your sister is dating my ex?" I spat. My fears of exposure were overwhelming my senses and I felt my hands begin to shake.

"Your ex was a geeky prude named Jasper. Alice has only ever called her boyfriend Jazz! I swear, I didn't know they were the same person," Edward pleaded.

I had no idea how I was supposed to explain my being in Edward's room so early in the morning. The only thing that kept me from passing out was knowing that Alice was unaware of Edward's submissive nature. As far as she knew, he was just addicted to sex. Even that felt like humiliating information for Jasper to possess about a man who was clearly important to my life now. I felt like screaming or running away. Maybe I'd settle and do both.

"Bella?" Jasper repeated. "Did you leave me for this fucking guy? Do you have any idea what he does for a living?"

I ignored him because I had no answer. My eyes went to Alice's face and she looked heartbroken. There was nothing I could say to make her feel better. We grimaced at each other and I mouthed an "I'm sorry" to her.

"Well? What the fuck are you doing with him?" Jasper demanded.

"My life is not your concern any longer, Jasper," I replied with a shaky voice. I was on the verge of tears. The salty moisture was welling up in my eyes as I spoke.

"I didn't just stop loving you the moment you broke up with me, Bella. So if you're paying this sick dude to tie you up and fuck you with all the toys hidden in his room then I think it's very much my concern."

Edward growled behind me and I heard myself gasp in shock. Jasper knew what Edward and I did together. He had the roles reversed, but the only thing worse than confirming his accusations would be to admit it was me who generally did the fucking.

I turned on my heels and glanced briefly at Edward. "I can't do this anymore," I whispered and then ran for the door.

A/N: Chapter 13 is going to be the last one before we reach the prologue! I'm slowly getting there!