A long internal debate had resulted in Stef knocking at her father's door. She probably should go tell her husband that their marriage was over, but for some reason this felt more immediate. She had to tell her father first. She needed to be free of his influence on her. If she couldn't get through this, she wouldn't get anywhere.

"Stef, come in." Frank Foster was always happy to see his daughter, even if lately all their interactions ended up in a fight.

"Hi dad. Making a sandwich?" Stef noticed the telltale signs on the table, bread, mayo and cheese.

"You know me. What about you? What brings you here? I have groceries." Ever since Sharon had left Frank, Stef had taken it upon herself to make sure he had food in the fridge. Her father had never learned to take care of himself and Sharon would not set foot in that house.

"Yeah, no, this time it's about me. I came to tell you something. I want you to know. I am getting divorced." Stef let that all out in one single breath. Although, she had wimped out and started with the easy stuff first. Ironic that divorce was the easy topic.

"Oh Stef, you can't. It's not god's will." Frank's frown grew deep and he became agitated.

"Please, you're divorced dad. Save the speech." Stef had gathered all her courage for this conversation.

"It's still a sin." Frank was earnest and that was the part Stef hated the most. He really believed the stuff that came out of his mouth.

"Well, I am a sinner, I guess. Might as well get used to it because there's more." Stef took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was an adult now. "I don't think this will come as any surprise to you. You saw this long before I did."

"What are you talking about Stef?"

"Tess Brown. You saw it long ago dad and you were right. I am gay."

"Stef no, we dealt with this. It can't be. You married Mike, it was fixed." Frank pleaded, his only daughter's future slipping from his hands.

"You can't fix this. It's me, it's who I am and I am starting to realize that I can't be happy pretending to be the wife that you want me to be. I can't."

"You're not gay."

"I am. I am." Here it was, her big chance. "I am a lesbian." She could see panic in Frank's expression.

"No… don't say that Stef. Don't use that word. You can't know. You're confused. I can call Pastor Dan right now and we'll sort this out." Frank seemed calm and determined.

Stef felt like fleeing, "Oh no dad, you are not going to do that to me. Not again. I know myself and I am not wasting another ten years again. I am a lesbian." It was easier the second time. "I met someone and this is it for me I can feel it. She's the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I can't live without her"

"I don't want to hear about no woman. Stef this is crazy. She has you confused, you're hurting over Mike. But your marriage can be fixed."

"I am not here for a discussion. I am here to tell you. That's what's happening and I hope someday, you can accept me." Stef decided in that moment that she would not let this fear rule her life. She would stand up to her father and not let anyone insult her for who she was. This identity, while new, fit her like a pair of old worn jeans. She wasn't an imposter anymore. She'd always felt like a little girl wearing mommy's heels. No one was going to take this away from her, not even the man who had been everything to her when she was little.

"Stef, no, no." Frank was walking toward her and Stef rushed to the door.

"Yes dad, this is my life now. And if you want to be part of it, you'll need to face it. If I am lucky enough, the next time we meet is because you're meeting the woman in my life."

Lena watched Kelly come into the living room and felt the need to apologize for her constant presence. "I am sorry guys, I know I've been over here entirely too often."

"I understand," Kelly figured it all had to do with a certain blonde cop. "You're trying to avoid Stef."

"I can't take the chance of seeing her right now. I have very little self-control around her." Lena admitted. "But, you'll be pleased. I don't think this will go on for much longer. She has stopped contacting me or trying to talk to me."

Jenna patted Lena's hand in sympathy. "Women."

Lena chuckled, letting her insecurity get a hold of her, "Yeah, women. I was right to let her go, she's certainly experimenting if she's already moving on. Easy to forget, I guess."

Kelly interrupted, they were being unfair and judgmental. "Come on you two, Stef's dealing with a lot of things, cut her some slack."

"You would know…" Jenna cut herself off realizing she'd said too much.

Lena was too quick and smart, she'd caught it, "What do you mean Kelly would know? Has she talked to you? What did she say?"

Kelly shook her head, if looks could kill, Jenna would be dead. "No, I mean yes. I talked to her but I am not going to talk about it. Stef has a right to her privacy."

"Did she talk about me?"

Lena looked so sad and defeated, Kelly couldn't help but feed her hope, "I am just saying, don't give up on her. She needs time Lena."

"I know that." Lena admitted. "I am just afraid that she'll never be strong enough to live our life." She didn't add that she was afraid Stef just wasn't that into her, not enough to leave her husband.

"Yeah, it's not a life for cowards that's for sure. I just know Stef is a good person, we don't need to make up false motivations for her. Her issues are big enough."

Lena had to concede. Stef had been very straight forward with her. "She's not one to play games. It's why I fell for her." Lena looked a little surprised at having admitted that, but Kelly and Jenna were not surprised. They'd seen their friend falling for Stef throughout these past few months.

"Falling in love is not a bad thing. Even while suffering, you're more alive now than you were before the summer. You were like a zombie." Jenna reflected.

Lena gave her a weak smile and turned to Kelly again, oh what could she do to get information from her. "So, um, what else can you share?"

Kelly laughed, "You'll get nothing out of me woman. Come on, let's distract you, that's why you came over. Garret has been dying to play games with you."

Lena loved the little boy and was happy to play with him, but what she didn't share with her friends was that playing with Garret reminded her of Brandon. That in turn, reminded her of Stef. There really was no getting away from her heartache.

Stef couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. It was a bit like pulling off a bandage, do it all at once she told herself. She'd admitted she was lesbian and that was the third time she'd used that word. She had broken Mike's heart and she wasn't done. She boldly added the part that she knew would be the official end of her marriage, "because I met somebody." His face fell and she could feel her own heart break at seeing his pain. Mike's face had been full of hope when she walked in, it was clear he had still been holding out for a reunion. Now, it had all crumbled and both were left in silence, knowing things would never be the same.

"Who is she?" Mike finally broke the uncomfortable silence, confusion leading to anger. None of what Stef was saying was making any sense. She was gay? She met someone? But she had married him, she loved him, she couldn't be gay. What was going on?

"It doesn't matter." Stef was not here to bring Lena any problems. What was the point, if Lena wouldn't have her?

Mike's voice was rising, losing control of his temper. "Of course it matters, how long has this been going on, do I know this…" Mike just couldn't say it, "this woman."

"No Mike, you don't know her. I never ever thought about anyone while we were married. But that doesn't mean these things weren't in me, buried deep. I owe you the truth, we are married and I owe you that. I did not even think about all these things till after the separation. Things weren't working out and now I know why." Stef took a deep breath. "After we separated, I met a woman who brought back all these issues for me. We are not involved. She won't have me because I am married." She didn't think he needed any more details than that.

"You cheated then." Mike spat at her.

"We were separated Mike. It's important for you to know that I am ending things so that I can move on." Stef didn't know what else to say. She knew things hadn't turned out as expected, but she hadn't set out to do any of it. The alternative now would be to live a lie and that would make at least four people very unhappy.

"Maybe this woman has you confused." Mike wasn't going to give up easily.

"You're missing the point. I am gay." She paused again, letting that sink in. "I can't be married Mike. I need to figure out my life and explore this thing that's been with me. Always. I am not going to be able to make you or me happy by staying in this marriage."

"So you're gay, that's it for you and me? What about me?" Mike would not accept this.

Stef narrowed her eyes and spoke slowly, "Mike, you can find someone else to be happy with. Maybe we can both be happy then."

"I can't be happy without you. You belong with me, Stef."

Stef quickly shook her head. "No, I belong with Lena." Mike's eyebrow's shot up, Stef looked straight ahead, she'd made a mistake but she refused to be ashamed of what she'd said.

"Lena?" Mike didn't know anyone on the force by that name. None of their friends went by that name.

"I told you Mike, it doesn't matter. Bottom line is I want a divorce." Stef needed to stay focused.

"And Brandon?" Mike would desperately throw anything against a wall and see what stuck.

"Things have been working out with Brandon for months now. It will work out again." Stef decided to leave Mike in his confusion before things took a turn for the worse. Stef's nightmare involved custody arrangements. She hadn't ordered anything and wouldn't be doing so now. It would be best to just leave now because the waitress had stayed away, sensing the seriousness of the situation. "Mike, I don't want to get into it anymore. We'll continue the way we have been in terms of Brandon but I am going to be getting a lawyer. I can't live a lie anymore."

Mike tried to reach out to Stef but he could only watch her walk away. When the waitress came by to see if he needed anything, he could only think of a stiff drink. One that would prop up the wreck that Stef had left behind.

That night in bed two women lay in their beds thinking about each other. Lena at home reliving each and every second of the kisses they'd shared. An experienced lesbian laid bare by amateur kisses. She'd felt exposed with each touch of Stef's tender lips, her emotions seeping from her pores. She had never cried in front of a woman before. She never cried in front of anybody. Her mother had made sure that Lena understood tears were for cowards. Stef made her feel safe and Lena didn't think it had anything to do with that dandy uniform she wore so well.

She felt understood and known. The only thing missing in her caresses was commitment and trust. They couldn't have those things and Lena craved them desperately. Now recalling that mouth and that body, Lena could also admit that she desired Stef, the woman. She was having a hard time concentrating on anything but the memory of her hands on Stef, on the way her insides reacted to the blonde's touch. She'd have to fight the urge to take care of her needs tonight while thinking of Stef. She would deny herself that release in order to make the letting go a bit easier. Even as her mind pictured more intimate touches, she refused to indulge in thoughts of Stef.

Forgetting wouldn't be easy. She'd barely known the woman but her house was full of her touches. Things that had no business reminding her of Stef came alive with memories of her. The cup that she'd drank from, the chair that she'd sat on. Thankfully, Stef hadn't been in her bedroom. And without invitation, Stef's figure formed in her mind, reclined on her bed, wearing her uniform. The top three buttons were open, her shirt had been pulled out of her neatly ironed pants. The belt buckle was undone and her legs were crossed. She was prone against her headboard, invitation in her eyes. The vision so stirring that Lena had to shake herself. She quickly got off the bed and into the bathroom to splash water on her face. No point in giving free rein to these dreams. Stef would never be hers.

Meantime, Stef lay in her bed also indulging in memories. Memories that fueled her commitment. She'd had the hardest day of her life. She'd come out to the two men that had dominated her existence. First, her father, whom she'd worshiped as a kid. She had wanted to please so much that she'd submerged her true self in order to make him happy. Then there was Mike, whom she'd loved and cared for, but not as a man, not as a husband. He had been a good friend and their relationship had been good enough. She might have been content, if it weren't for the fact that memories of deeper feelings lived inside, creating chaos and longing. She was done trying to make either of them happy. She wasn't living for anyone else now. This was her life and she was going to live it.

Coming out to her friends had been a simpler task. She had picked a close friend on the force who was known as a gossip. She'd communicated her new found sexuality as one might disclose buying a new car. She knew that soon, most people at the station would know. She didn't want to hurt Mike, but she didn't know how else to proceed. She would not hide Lena, and she would not step on her feelings in order to spare Mike's. She'd already made Lena feel second best and she wouldn't make that mistake again.

As tough as today had been, Stef imagined tomorrow would not be any easier. She'd have to convince Lena that she was serious. She'd have one shot to really show her that she was ready to commit to her and to this new way of life. That's why she'd waited and sorted everything out before seeing her. She knew that Lena wouldn't wait around forever and wouldn't give her another opportunity. The things she needed to say to Lena weren't scary, Stef's fear came from the answers Lena had to give.

She didn't know what she'd do if Lena turned her down. Lena had slowly come to mean everything to her. She was her happiness. Her touches had brought a joy and a desire Stef had not known existed. She didn't know her well enough yet, but she felt as if she'd found her other half. Her love and trust were the kind of home she'd never had. Her lips brought stirrings her body had not discovered.

Anxiety settled at the bottom of her stomach. There was so much at stake but after today, Stef knew that no matter what, there was no going back. Tomorrow was the first day of the rest of her life.