Resentment

by hidden.dreams7

An old enemy of Jeff’s Tracy enters Alan’s life, Alan and Jeff’s relationship is tested to the brink. Alan is desperate to escape his past and his family, but secrets, dishonesty and danger are his destiny, and that’s before he joins IR. COMPLETE!

12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Rescued from Resentment and Family First

Jeff Tracy gently circulated the glass before him and the brown liquid moved swiftly with the changing direction, he was deep in thought. The billionaire turned around from his position on the balcony to examine the small hotel room before him, as he moved into the room he placed Scott's cell phone on the small table beside him.

"If you're not going to drink that, I will." Jeff looked up to see his eldest leaving the bedroom, looking just as concerned as he felt.

"It's probably best if neither of us do." Jeff put down the glass next to the phone.

"Is he okay?" Jeff asked Virgil, who also exited the bedroom followed by his two younger brothers.

"He's unconscious, but I think exhaustion has just taken him over now. I'm keeping an eye on him." Virgil explained as he walked over to the small kitchenette to get a drink.

John and Gordon Tracy both sank into the couch while Virgil took the chair, this left the other elder two Tracy's standing. This small hotel room clearly wasn't designed for six men Gordon mused.

"That's good I suppose." John commented on Virgil's diagnosis.

"What did the police have to say?" Scott was eager to know the outcome of the dramatic events from earlier today.

"The house is clear the police searched the place with scanners and dogs, there is no sign of explosives. I rang George and he said he would and make sure the house is secure; we're staying here tonight."

Scott nodded; their gardener had worked for the Tracy family for many years and was very much trusted.

"Dad are you okay?" Jeff Tracy moved to stand in the doorway of the bedroom and examined the sleeping young man briefly before pulling the door closer to him.

Jeff Tracy looked at his sons, the strain and stress of the last days was showing on their faces. They all needed some rest, another reason that they were staying in the local hotel rather than going back to a raided home this evening.

"That was the detective that called; the police examined Peter's office and the apartment he was staying in for the past days. They found diagrams of Richard's house and a list of times over the past month that people have been entering and leaving the house. The police think a bomb was planted near the entrance to the house that was set to go off when someone entered, the gas was also set to leak which cause the larger explosion." Jeff's tone was sombre and his voice quiet.

"What!" John was astounded.

"Shh!" Gordon hissed at him before pointing in the direction of the bedroom.

"Sorry." John's tone was lower while Jeff again looked back into the bedroom at his son through the small gap in the doorway.

"Dad?" Jeff shifted his attention from Alan to continue his debriefing but took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Richard Barton's dead. The police have DNA samples from the blast that are a match to Richard, and they also found his cell phone in the rubble. The CCTV confirmed his entrance to the house, the blast happened thirty seconds later and it engulfed the entrance. He wouldn't have stood a chance of escaping." Jeff looked back at his youngest who was restless in his sleep. Jeff took in the look of shock on his boys faces before knowing he was about to make things worse.

"Peter Hemmings has been charged with Richard Barton's murder." All the boys looked at him stunned by his words.

"I can't believe he's dead?" Gordon questioned the idea based in the disbelief of shock.

"I don't understand, why Barton? Peter didn't even know him." John asked.

"It was for me." Jeff paused before answering and spoke with regret in his voice.

"Dad don't say that, it's not true." Virgil tried to reassure his father and put his hand on his shoulder in comfort.

"It is son. Peter had a document on his computer a list of things he was going to do to help me and therefore make us become closer, one was get revenge for the things Richard had done to this family. The police are taking that as motive." Jeff explained as he moved to sit on the arm of the sofa by John.

The Tracy's sat in silence; knowing what to say was difficult but coming to terms with Peter's action was harder.

"It wasn't just Richard the bomb was for; Alan was probably his target also. The police found a lot of death threats against Alan as well, they think we forced Peter to change his plans when we found out Alan's car was torched and ran off the road. They think holding me and Alan at gun point wasn't planned, and that he saw us enter the building and took advantage of an opportunity." Jeff relayed the information he had just learnt.

"Well that's such a comfort." Scott spoke with hatred and anger.

"So the bomb was designed for the two of them next time they went home?" Jeff shrugged at the question.

"Probably, I guess we'll never really know." Virgil suggested an answer to his brother.

"So what's happening to that bastard?" Scott raised his voice in anger while Gordon hit him softly reminding him of Alan's condition.

"They don't think he his fit enough to be put in court, he's being permanently sectioned, and they think he has had a complete psychotic break. He won't be bothering us or Alan again I guarantee it." The last bit was said with conviction and fury from the billionaire.

"What happens now?" Gordon asked as he rubbed his eyes against tiredness that was setting in.

"Well all need some sleep, there's nothing else to do today." Jeff looked at the clock which read almost six pm; the hours waiting with the police outside the house had been stressful for all of them. Scott's idea for them to stay at the local hotel had been a wise one; as Alan was in desperately need of some rest and was truly agitated by Richard's death.

"Also the police have found the same guy you and Virgil saw at the surveillance company, he has admitted that he was paid to lie to us about who he sold the disk too." Jeff added noting that Scott looked livid at this point, Jeff could see his eldest was thinking that he should have thought about that idea before.

"They also traced a rental car that Peter ordered the other night; they think it's likely to be the same car that ran Alan off the road." Scott paced as he learnt more harrowing information. Silence settled on the room is they all digested the past events with horror, minutes past as they were all engrossed in thought.

"Get ready for bed boys." Jeff Tracy disturbed the silence as he got up from his position on the arm of the chair to walk towards the cold air of the balcony, all his sons watched him with empathy.

"Come on." Virgil encouraged his brother to follow their father's directions and he moved into the kitchen. Scott however continued to look in his father's direction before pulling something out of his pocket and moving to stand beside his father. The view from the small hotel was of the road and some shops across from it, the light was fading fast on the horizon but Scott knew his father would have noticed none of these things.

"Dad, when I picked up Peter's laptop before I found something else hidden in his things. I know its evidence for the police but I just couldn't stand the idea that he had this." Scott passed his father a treasured possession and Jeff looked up and gave his eldest a small smile in gratitude for returning the item.

"Are you going to give it Alan again?" Scott asked as Jeff un-wrapped the item before answering.

"Yes son I am, but this time I want to see him open it." Jeff gave a small smiled at the idea.

Virgil Tracy saw his father and brother on the balcony and smiled before he turned his attention to the actions of his brothers who were creeping around in the darkened bedroom. It touched his heart how Gordon and John were surrounding their youngest brother and every so often either tucking Alan in or stroking his hair.

"What are you two doing?" It was said in a loving manner as Virgil sat on the end of the large bed looking at both a sleeping Alan and his brothers sitting either side of him.

"We just wanted to check he was okay?" Gordon replied quietly.

"You're not the only one who likes to play big brother you know." John added playfully but Gordon hissed at him to be quieter as Alan stirred.

"Gordon, Alan's exhausted and I gave him a pretty powerful sedative, he's going to take some waking." Virgil explained, but Gordon looked no less anxious about Alan being disturbed.

"Shouldn't you two be in bed?" Virgil added and the two younger Tracy's shared a look.

"Are you joining in the big brother game?" John asked, but knew Virgil's question was just a natural worry of concern about him and Gordon.

"It's hard not too; but you just remember I also get this big brother overprotection attitude from Scott." Gordon shook his head at Virgil's excuse.

"We all get it from Scott, especially Alan. At least you have only one big brother above you; be grateful." Gordon replied as he once again moved the blankets to get his brother cosy and comfortable.

"Oh I think Scott has a special place for Alan in his over powering, overprotecting brotherly way." Virgil looked at his sleeping brother as he spoke those words, but when he looked back up at his conscious brothers he questioned the look on their faces.

"What?" John and Gordon smirked and glanced at each other.

"You're in trouble!" Gordon added with a larger smile and Virgil turned around to see his elder brother looking disapprovingly down at him from the doorway.

"My over powering, over protecting brotherly way? Here was I about to yell at those two for not following dad's orders and going to bed, but now you have reminded me of my duties as the eldest, I think you can do the same as well Virgil." Scott added with a good humoured but dominant smug look.

"Bed, now!"

"Scott." The pilot heard the protest of all three of his brothers but one look stopped all the questioning.

"No, you need some rest, okay no arguments." Scott's voice was more firm.

"Night Alan." Gordon brushed his hand over the blonds hair, while John gave him one last concerned look before they both then moved past Scott and on to the other empty double bed.

"Well this is going to be cosy." John commented as he started to remove his jumper and jeans on the far side of the bed.

"Whoa Johnny boy, stop there! I'm not sleeping in the same bed as you if you're butt naked." Gordon commented at John's actions and Scott and Virgil shared a smirk from where they stood behind the swimmer on the opposite side of the bed from John.

"Funny Gordon." John added as the blond removed his socks.

"Actually I was thinking I should have this bed to myself, you know as a younger brother's privilege and you lot can sleep on the floor, night then!" Gordon smiled and laughed as he jumped in to the middle of the large bed and quickly spread his body out to fill as much space as possible. John shared a look with his older brother that spoke volumes for the likelihood of that happening.

"That's funny Gordon, but no chance." John smirked at Gordon before he got on the bed and moved under the covers next to his brother.

Virgil and Scott only stood over the bed and watched the two brothers fight for the blankets and push each other for more bed space. After a few minutes of watching the middle Tracy brothers playful quarrel Scott looked at Virgil inquisitively.

"What?" Virgil asked as Scott continued to look at him in an expectant manner.

"I wasn't joking Virgil, after that comment you can also be put to bed like my little brother." Scott sounded determined and moved to gentle direct Virgil closer towards the bed.

"But…" Virgil moaned as Gordon and John sniggered as they enjoyed their older brother's reaction to Scott's over protectiveness.

"You want me to undress you Virgy?" Gordon asked while Scott smiled at his brother's baby name, but Virgil didn't.

"Alright!" Virgil stopped complaining but all three of his brother hissed at him for the volume of his voice, and Virgil only rolled his eyes confident that an earthquake at this point wouldn't even wake Alan.

"Move up you two… and stop laughing." Virgil removed his own clothing and got in the bed to lie next to Gordon.

"Nice boxers Virg!" Gordon smirked again and Virgil sent him a warning glance Gordon responded in mock surrender as he raised his hands.

"Okay, I'm sleeping, I'm sleeping." Gordon wriggled to make himself more comfortable, while Virgil gently brushed his brothers stray hairs back from his face and watched both his brothers settle into sleep.

"Virg, neither of us are going to be able to sleep with you staring at us all night." John commented on his brother's actions despite his eyes being shut.

"How do you know I'm looking at you, your eyes are shut." John opened one of his eyes and smiled.

"I know because if you weren't here to watch over Gordon I would be watching him fall sleep instead." Virgil shared a smile with Scott who was now sat on the end of the bed by Virgil's feet.

"Night little brothers." Scott spoke in a caring manner.

"Oh and Virg, I'll be doing the little brother watching tonight, so go to sleep." Scott and Virgil shared one last glance before Virgil quickly settled.

Scott Tracy sat for a few minutes looking between each of the beds but as he heard gentle snores from the overly occupied bed the eldest Tracy moved to examine his baby brother once more.

Scott Tracy slid his body around Alan's sleeping form but sat up enough so his upper body was hunched over the blond. He had watched Alan sleep since the day he had been born. The same day he had said goodbye to his mother was the same day he kissed the forehead of the tiny and critically ill form of Alan Tracy. Nearly nineteen years later Scott repeated that action but was concerned by the temperature and restlessness of his brother.

"Nice speech." Jeff Tracy stood at the doorway to the bedroom and watched Scott with his youngest son.

"You heard that?" Jeff nodded and examined his three sleeping sons hunched together in the bed.

"Well I think Virgil was getting a bit big for his boots, I was just reminding him that I am his big brother too." Scott spoke in an even softer tone due to his close position to Alan.

Jeff moved into the room further and glanced at his elder son before moving to sit on the opposite side of Alan to Scott.

"I don't think you have ever let Virgil forget that he is younger than you Scott." Jeff had a small smile on his face, he had overheard ever word of the interactions between his sons and had truly enjoyed sitting and listening to the gifts Lucy had given him from the next room.

Scott also smiled before again stroking Alan's hair that sat on his heated forehead.

"He's a bit warm." Scott informed his father and Jeff nodded in return.

"That might be because the four of you have wrapped him up like he is about to enter the arctic." Jeff suggested and just in support of his father's point Alan moved to loosen his sheets.

"Oh, yeah you may have a point. That protective streak strikes again." Jeff nodded as he looked at his eldest with utter admiration.

"Scott." The pilot looked up at his father.

"I don't say this anywhere near enough but…thank you." Scott was concerned by the emotion that emanated from his father's voice.

"Are you okay dad?" Scott asked and Jeff nodded in reply.

"When your mom died I just couldn't cope. Scott I just don't have any idea how the hell you did, you had three little brothers and a baby to look after but you just carried on as usual. I'm so proud of you Scott Tracy. I'm proud you're a pilot, I'm proud you're my son and I'm so proud that you care so much for your brothers. I love you more than I can ever say, and I'm sorry if I ever made you question that." Scott saw the meaning and love in those words but was surprised that his father was speaking them.

"Thanks dad…but I have never ever questioned whether you love me or any of us, including Alan." Jeff appreciated his son's honesty.

"Alan thinks I don't love him." Jeff sounded so deflated when he confessed that to his eldest.

"Deep down he knows you do, and in time you can show him." Scott empathised with his father and then turned his attention to an again restless Alan.

"Shh, calm down kiddo." Scott spoke softly and wrapped his arm around Alan again.

"You've been doing that since the day he was born." Jeff pointed out as Alan settled.

"Yeah well I enjoy it, I remember mom doing it to us all, even you when you were ill. So somehow calming him down while he sleeps is my way of showing Alan what mom would have been like with him." Scott explained, hoping that he wouldn't upset his father too much by his explanation.

"She would have worshipped him." Jeff said sadly.

"Scott I'm so grateful for what you have done for Alan over the years but at the same time I feel so guilty for not doing it myself. Things need to change for this kid; I need to change for him. I have let you fill in as my role in Alan's life for too long." Jeff confessed before standing in a determined manner. Scott watched with curiosity as his father walked around the bed to stand next to him, and responded to his father's idea.

"Alan's never been a burden to me, but that's great that you want to be more of a part of his life…" Scott smiled at that idea but looked confused by his father's behaviour of just standing above him.

"What are you doing?" Scott asked as he turned his head to look up at his father.

"Get up Scott." Jeff gestured for him to stand but Scott only looked unsure.

"Why?" Scott still looked bemused.

"I'm over ruling you. You maybe chief big brother for them but I out rank you, so move to the other side of the bed and go to sleep." Scott looked amused by his father's words.

"Nice dad, I see what Virgil had to deal with now but this is different, I need to check on Alan." Scott turned his attention back to his brother but his father lightly took hold of his arm in response.

"Up." Scott had a protested look on his face but moved to a sitting position nevertheless.

"Scott you need some sleep, so go to bed." Jeff indicated to the other side of the bed again this time in a slightly stronger tone.

"I know but Alan needs me…" Scott pointed to his sleeping brother but his father calmly interrupted him.

"Scott don't take this the wrong way but for the past nineteen years Alan has come to you and instead of me. You're his brother Scott not his dad, and while your there in that position I can't be." Scott considered his father's words and realised he had never really considered how much he unconsciously treated Alan like his own son. Or how his position had obstructed his father's and Alan's relationship.

"It's about time I learnt to watch over this one myself and hope that one day Alan will need me as much as he needs you. So move kid, you're in my seat!" Jeff smiled at the last part as Scott finally did as he was told and moved around the other side of the bed.

Jeff Tracy took up the same position that Scott had previously occupied as the pilot changed out of his clothes and got in bed next to Alan.

"Night dad." Scott glanced over at the other bed before turning on to his side placing his back to Alan and his father.

"You're not going to watch him sleep?" Jeff asked as he brushed his hand down Alan's cheek before looking in Scott's direction.

"No, that's your job dad." Scott smiled as he shut his eyes.

Jeff Tracy smiled at his sons understanding. The billionaire settled down by the side of his son with his arm wrapped around his youngest, for that moment at least he enjoyed the silence and peace that he had with Alan.

"Dad…Dad." Scott Tracy hated doing this but he knew his father would want to know an update on their situation. He watched his father awaken and question the situation he was in, but one look at the still sleeping form of his youngest beside him reminded him of everything.

"Scott…For a moment then I thought that this had all been a dream." Jeff removed the covers from over his body and stood up next to his eldest.

"I didn't really want to wake you but the police have been on the phone, as has Penny." Jeff nodded and stretched his body to relieve to discomfort of sleeping upright.

"It was the best decision son." Jeff turned to face his sleeping son and made him comfortable as Scott watched.

"We are all in the kitchen, if you can call it that. Virgil's made you a coffee." Jeff gave Alan one last look before moving towards the bathroom.

"That's just what I need, he's a good lad. I'll see you in there in a minute." Scott nodded as his father moved past him. Scott Tracy examined his little brother as he moved to sit on the bed, Alan's temperature had dropped which pleased the pilot and Alan seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

"So are you." Scott whispered to Alan before grazing his brothers blond locks with his hand and then getting up and moving towards the bedroom door.

"Scott you have to eat something." Virgil protested at Scott breakfast choice of a strong cup of coffee, despite the kitchen sideboards being covered with breakfast food.

"Leave him Virg that means there's more for us." Gordon Tracy heaped food onto his plate despite his brother's rolling their eyes at the mountain of food he was planning to eat.

"What? I'm hungry, and you two can talk you usually have a hollow leg as well." Gordon pointed at both Scott and Virgil; actually the two blonds of the family were the only small eaters Gordon realised.

"Let him have his breakfast." Jeff commented as he entered the room.

"But all of you should be eating, not just Gordon eating for all of you." Jeff gave his two cents on his son's behaviour.

Virgil passed his father a steaming cup of coffee and Jeff smiled his appreciation.

"Thanks dad." Gordon spoke with his mouth full and John nudged him for his bad manners, but Gordon only looked at him with confusion.

"Leave him John." Jeff moved to sit by Virgil on the sofa.

"What did the police say?" Jeff got down to business, but saw Scott pause before speaking.

"The police found explosive devices and a plan of Barton's house in Peter's things; but apparently Peter isn't going to be in court anytime soon, the police think he's too disturbed." Jeff nodded as he took in the information.

"Wow, whatever gave them that idea?" Gordon asked but no one laughed.

"He has confessed to the attempts on Alan's life, but seems too confused and disturbed to be subjected to more questioning." Scott reported what he had been told by the police.

"Penny?" Jeff asked.

"Oh she wanted to talk to you when you were awake that's all." Jeff smiled at the thought of his friends concern.

"I'll call her in a minute." Jeff replied.

"The house is clear and the police have left, but apparently it's a right mess." Scott saw that his brothers looked saddened by this idea of their childhood home being ransacked.

"It can all be put back, Alan's safe that's what's important." Virgil added an optimistic take on the situation and Jeff put his hand on his shoulder to thank him for reminding them of that.

"I take it were going home then?" Gordon asked while he ripped up a pancake.

"Yes, but not where you think. Boys I think it's time we moved forward, we're going to go stay on the island for a few days, all of us." Scott nodded at the idea.

"Yeah that's a great idea dad, because the media will be swarming around this for a while." John spoke while he picked up the daily paper and showed his father the headline.

"That's the last thing we need, make sure Alan doesn't see that." Jeff took the paper from his son and glanced through the text.

"I'll ring Steven and put out a formal statement from Tracy Enterprise." Jeff dropped the paper down on to the small coffee table and walked to pick up the phone.

"Dad…Are you selling the house?" John asked quietly and Jeff stopped what he was doing and walked back towards his sons.

"If you don't want me too; then no." Jeff knew this question would arise at some point, and had been avoiding it for a while.

"Dad I know we lived there with mom and everything but…it's only a house if were all going to live together on the island than that's going to be are home." All were amazed that this idea came from John's mouth; he was expected to be the one who would cling to the past the most.

"Boys we need to talk about this some more, I don't want to force you all to make a decision you might regret." Jeff's voice was soft and considerate but he realised then how much his children had grown into young men.

"We'll go and get some clothes from the house and meet you at the airport if you want?" John suggested.

"Sounds good son, make sure you get Alan some of his clothes too." Virgil caught his father's eye.

"Will he be okay to fly?" Jeff asked his medically trained son.

"Yeah he should be fine, minus a migraine or two maybe." Virgil moved the empty cups back into the kitchen.

"Are you going to talk to him?" Scott asked and Jeff looked at him with apprehension of the idea.

"I'll have a go, but I think he's going to be quite upset." Jeff shared his expectations of Alan's demeanour.

"He's going to think that this is his fault you know." Gordon confessed his fear but his Jeff had already considered this idea.

"I know, but it's not…actually I think it's mine." Jeff sounded sombre and deflated.

"Dad you can't be serious?" John protested.

"John I let Peter into our lives and he hurt and nearly killed my son. What's worse is despite my feeling for him, Richard Barton is dead because of someone I employed, I let live with me, and I let have this opportunity. I have to take some responsibility for this." The Tracy sons showed a look of total disagreement on their faces, but the phone rang before anyone could argue back.

"Jeff Tracy." Jeff moved over towards the balcony leaving his sons to think back on the actions of the past months.

"He's wrong." Scott spoke with confidence.

"We know that and if dad looks at it factually, so does he." Virgil added.

"Then why does he blame himself?" Gordon quizzed as he watched his father on Scott's cell phone.

"He thinks Alan's about to blame him for Richard's death. God I hope they listen to each other and this doesn't turn into an all out war." Scott even hated the idea that that could happen.

"Well I think were about to find out soon enough, lets give them some time alone. Get ready to go and I'll get dad's car keys." Scott moved from his position to collect his jacket.

"Everything okay?" Jeff turned to Scott's direction.

"Yeah, just Steven he's dealing with the media. Alan's name is being slightly protected due to the nature of the case." Jeff informed his son as he watched his other sons in the background put on their shoes and jackets.

"We'll get out of your way, call Virgil's cell when you leave and we will meet you at the jet." Scott moved closer and embraced his father with a strong hug.

"Thanks son, for everything." Jeff enjoyed holding his eldest for an instant longer before moving into the room to say goodbye to his other sons.

"Come here you two." Gordon and John both shared a hug with their father, both noticing Jeff held on to them a little tighter and a little longer than usual.

"Will you be okay with him?" Virgil asked as he moved closer to his father's position.

"Yeah, thanks son." Virgil wrapped his arms around his father, his father wasn't really an affectionate man but the artist felt that was about to change slightly.

"Be careful, all of you." Jeff added as the four men moved towards the hotel room door, all smirking at their fathers sudden over protectiveness.

"Dad please! Scott's here you don't need to worry, he'll probably make us hold hands when we cross the street." Gordon replied and all accept Scott laughed.

"Bye." After a chorus of goodbye's Jeff was left in silence, he quickly peered his head into the bedroom to check on his still sleeping son before looking at the clock.

It would be afternoon in London, so Jeff didn't hesitate to call Penny.

Jeff Tracy heard Penelope's sweet calming accent and so relaxed slightly, it reminded him of his wife and Lucy's soothing voice.

"Penny its Jeff, thanks for calling before." Lady Penelope seemed worried by the tired sounding voice of Jeff Tracy.

"It's no problem Jeff, anything to help. I'm so sorry about this situation, it's terrible." Penny confessed her regret to the billionaire she knew very well.

"Thanks Penny, and I'm sorry about Richard I know he was a friend of yours." The blond beauty accepted the concern and sympathy.

"Well that's why I called. I have found no evidence that the police or anyone else knows about your new business. I know about all the evidence the police have and it's all concerning Alan's attack and Richards's death, nothing more. I have got someone giving me updated details on Peter Hemmings condition and actions." Jeff took in the information and was glad that he had given Penny a high level position in his future plans.

"Thanks Penny, that's some good news and at the minute I need all the good news I can get." Jeff watched his children leave the hotel below him, and smiled and let out a small laugh when Scott grabbed Gordon's hand and forced him to hold it as they crossed the street.

"Jeff?" Penny asked about the small laugh she heard.

"Sorry Penny. I'm just watching my boys…being my boys." Jeff watched as all the boys' bar Gordon found Scott's actions hilarious as they got into the car.

"Well that's nice to hear at least." Penny paused before continuing she didn't know if the next news she had was good or bad.

"About what you called me for yesterday, I managed to confirm Richard's story. He and Lucy did have a child together and his name was Mathew Barton. He died the same day he was born; it was a few months before you began dating Lucy… I never knew about this Jeff." Penny explained the new information that she had discovered.

"Thank you Penny, I just wanted to make sure it was the truth." Jeff seemed no more comfortable with this information now than before, as it meant Lucy had hidden this from him.

"Are you going to tell the boys?" Jeff was surprised not by the question but that the idea had never come to him before now.

"I suppose I should, I don't know what's really best." Jeff confessed.

"The truth usually, otherwise it only causes more harm later." Jeff smiled; this was why he enjoyed a friendship with Penny.

"I'll call you soon Jeff. All my best to the boys, especially Alan." Penny spoke warmly as she said her goodbye's to her companion.

Jeff Tracy stood and watched the early morning world go by for a few minutes after he ended his call to Penny, but was broken from his thoughts by the sound of his son being violently sick.

"Alan!" Jeff dropped Scott's phone on the chair before swiftly entering the bedroom only to see the bed empty and Alan leaving the bathroom.

"Alan." Jeff quickly wrapped his arms around each side the blond's torso and took his weight, as the young mans head was draped forward and he was looking unstable.

"Alan, are you okay?" Jeff became extremely concerned as Alan lent all of his weight on to his father and didn't respond.

"Come on back in bed." Jeff directed his son to the bed as he saw Alan's vision swim as disorientation take over.

"That's it lay down." Alan complied if only to stop the room from spinning as he became more conscious to his surroundings.

"I'm calling a doctor." Jeff felt his sons head with concern.

"No, I'm fine… just a headache." Jeff resisted acting on his instincts but only just.

"Are you sure? God knows what's in your system." Alan nodded at his father but wished he hadn't and he shut his eyes firmly as another wave of nausea hit him again.

"It's alright, shhh…. just relax." Jeff moved to the bathroom to get a cloth to cool down Alan's raging temperature, before sitting beside him on the bed.

As his youngest drifted in and out of consciousness the billionaire looked at him and considered the conversation he was going to haft to have with Alan. Jeff was only interrupted from his thoughts when he saw Alan's blue eyes become more focused and alert.

Alan had woken abruptly to the feeling of utter sickness and whilst he was in the bathroom he had vomited violently. After his father had helped him back to bed he had lay in the bed until the nights events came back to him. He was also surprised to have his father sitting beside him acting so lovingly.

"Where am I?" Alan coughed hard, and tasted the fire from yesterday.

"In a hotel room, don't worry about anything okay. You're going to be fine given a bit of time." Jeff smiled down on Alan and spoke soothingly.

"Rick?" Alan asked with a slight hope in his eyes, and Jeff Tracy considered that this was the fourth time he had told his son that someone he cared about was dead.

"Alan he…." The blond need to hear no more, all hope he had had that Rick could've made it out of the house vanished as Alan saw his father's eyes. He shut his eyes again and digested this information; he felt such sorrow and guilt.

"What are you doing?" Jeff asked as he gently put his arm on the front of Alan's chest to holt his sons movement.

"Getting up." Alan pointed out.

"You need to rest Alan; your body has been through so much." To prove that idea Alan rubbed his bruised wrist from the tightness of the restraints he had been bound in. However Alan wasn't sure he could just sit there, and he wasn't used to having his father so close to him when he was upset; he was desperate to be alone.

"I can't just lye here." Alan protested and sat up.

"Alan I'm sorry about Richard." Jeff had meant it, but Alan wasn't so sure.

"I'm surprised your even here, shouldn't you be throwing a party to celebrate that Rick's dead; he's quite clearly out of my life so you got what you wanted." Jeff sighed.

"Alan that's not fair. I would never have wished that on him or anyone, especially because this has hurt you, but I'm so glad that you're okay." Jeff spoke with no anger or resentment and wrapped his arm around Alan's shoulder to confirm his last words.

"Come here." Jeff leaned over his son moved to embrace him with a strong hug, Alan didn't return the gesture but neither did he stop his father's actions.

"How about you come with me and your brothers for a bit of a break, just the six of us, we can spend some time together while you get better." Jeff decided it was wiser to suggest this idea than demand Alan did as he said.

"I promise no yelling or fighting, I just need you beside me so I can see that you're okay." Jeff could see the exhaustion and ill health that Alan was fighting.

"The media are going to be everywhere if you stay here?" Jeff was determined Alan was going with them.

"Do I get a choice, or have you already decided?" Alan read between his father's words, right now he just wanted to get the hell away from everything that reminded him of Richard and the last few days.

"I think you need to get away from this circus that's going to develop. Alan you need to rest and I guarantee no one with bother us where were going." Jeff smiled; Alan looked like he felt too unwell to argue back.

"Fine, but no lectures." Alan added and Jeff nodded in agreement.

"Good, come on lets get you to the airport you can sleep again on the jet." Jeff moved to find Alan's shoes but stopped instantly when Alan gave him a strange look.

"Airport, where are we going?" Jeff had forgotten that Alan didn't know about the project or anything else yet, he smiled back at this idea.

"Paradise."

Alan Tracy opened his eyes to see another unknown location but as soon as he moved his brother who was sat next to him noticed his presence.

"Morning sleepy head, err I think its morning anyway. All these mixing days and nights it's getting to me, never mind the jet lag." Alan looked at him with confusion until he remembered boarding his father private jet the last time he was awake.

"You were even asleep before we even left the airport, never mind the ten hour flight here; we have just arrived by the way." Alan saw his father and brothers move into the back part of the jet as he sat up.

"How you feeling kiddo?" Scott asked and Alan just rubbed his head and squinted again at the light in response.

"I think we should get you upstairs, Virgil will you help him." Jeff asked before he instructed his boys to follow him.

Alan left the jet but only due to the supporting hands of Gordon and Virgil. The blond stood on the tarmac and looked up with ore at the large glass and metal structure and the island greenery surrounding it.

Alan shot his brothers a look of amazement and Virgil smiled in response.

"That's what you get when you miss staff meetings kiddo." Scott smiled as well as he led his brothers up to the main house and the central lounge area.

"Welcome home boys." Jeff put down some of the luggage and examined the clock on the wall, it read nine am.

"I think we should all get some more sleep before anything else, you especially." He pointed to Alan who was now walking less aided by his brothers.

"Where are we?" Alan asked as he took in the large room with a grand piano and long sofas, the light was just penetrating the room from the sun rise.

"A desert island in the south Pacific." Scott pulled back the draped netting to reveal the view of the pools, tennis courts and patios followed by the airstrip and ocean in the distance.

"I bet Greenpeace will give you hell for this." Alan spoke as he walked out on to the balcony.

"Maybe, or maybe not." Jeff shook his head and eyed his other sons with a smile; Alan would be told later about the purpose of this island, for now they needed to focus on other things.

"Lets show you your room shall we." Jeff walked down one of the corridors leading off the main room and all his sons followed.

"Hold on, if I got the darkest room so I can star gaze and Gordon got the closest bedroom to the pools. Which did you two get?" John asked his eldest brothers as they made up the tail end as they followed their father and their younger brothers.

"I got the quietest room next to dad's and far away from those two's rooms." Gordon turned at that comment as Scott pointed towards him and Alan.

"Yeah right, it's more like you two got the rooms with the most amount of sound proofing to stop the whole world hearing you both snore." Gordon suggested as he stopped outside his own bedroom.

"I'm going to take a shower and get some sleep, although my body doesn't know if its day or night?" Gordon pondered as he dropped his luggage on his bedroom floor.

"Just ask your stomach, that's usually what works for you." Scott yelled with a smirk as Gordon shut his door in Scott's face as a reply.

Alan stopped to watch Gordon enter his room and the interaction with his eldest brother, therefore missing his father discrete direction his other brothers to leave.

"Come on you John, I'll show you your room." Scott took hold of the blond's shoulders and directed him into the room across the hall from Gordon's; Virgil smiled at Alan before following his brother inside the room.

"You coming son?" Alan turned back to see his father opening the last room on the white corridor.

"Yeah, but I'm kind of worried what view I got." Alan entered the large room which currently only contained a dresser, double bed and a plasma TV. Alan watched as his father walked straight up to the full height glass doors and open them.

"Oh don't worry I saved the best view on the entire island for you." Jeff pulled back the white cloth and Alan walked out on to the balcony, the most stunning view lay before him. To the left of him lay the far edge of the island where Blue Ocean met white sand for miles and miles and continued for as far as Alan could see to his right. In front of his eyes Alan saw nothing but ocean with the sun rising perfectly from it. Alan looked at his father who joined him at the edge of the large balcony; this was paradise.

"I'm glad you like it." Jeff took in Alan's reaction with a smile. Alan may have enjoyed the speed of an F1 car but since he was young he had always had the ability to just sit in silence for hours and take in a view. Both men stood for a while in silence before Alan decided he needed a shower.

Alan Tracy let the burning hot water wash over his head and chest, his muscles ached and his head pounded, but that was nothing compared to the sadness he felt. He wondered why he had gone alone with his fathers request for him to come here; part of reason he decided was because he had promised Richard he would listen to his father. Alan was struggling to understand and accept the past day's events; Richard was dead and he just couldn't stop thinking that it was supposed to have been him that was dead instead.

Alan stepped out of the shower and looked at himself in the mirror; the last words Richard had said to him ran around his head. He pulled on his sweat pants and towelled down his hair, but as he walked back into his bedroom the change in temperatures made him felt disorientated again.

"Alan." Scott knocked and waited before entering his brother's room, hearing Alan was still in the shower he walked out on to his brother's balcony.

He had been previously having a drink and a talk with his father in the kitchen and had volunteered to check on his brother and try and encourage him back to bed. The pilot turned around as he heard his brother exit the bathroom and moved quickly towards him when he saw his brother sway unsteadily.

"Easy kiddo, it's definitely bedtime for you." Scott took all Alan's weight and directed his brother to his bed.

"I'm just a bit dizzy." Alan confessed but that didn't stop his brother's actions.

"Yeah I know but sleep will help." Scott sat Alan down before reaching in to the suitcase at the foot of the bed to pull out a t-shirt.

"Put this on." Scott helped his brother pull the t-shirt over his head before pulling back the sheets and encouraging Alan to lay back.

Alan did as suggested before looking up at his brother who was sitting on the bed facing towards him; Scott looked like he had a lot on his mind and the younger man soon found out what that was after a few minutes of silence settled between them.

"Are you talking to me?" Scott sounded worried about the answer.

"I suppose." Alan tried not to meet his brother's eyes, Scott had really hurt him.

"I'm sorry. Please Alan I hate it when you're mad at me. Somehow I just can't stop thinking about how I would have felt Peter would have..." Scott didn't continue, and he didn't have too. As the pilot confessed his worries he ran his hand over Alan's head to confirm the meaning in his words. Alan caved slightly in his anger and annoyance, it wasn't often he saw his brother look so sad or so sorry.

"If you ever thought that I had ever abandoned you Alan, then I'm so sorry. I should have believed you, I was just so worried that you were taking drugs and that you would be hurt." The dark haired pilot felt shameful and looked into his brother's blue eyes for any sign of forgiveness. Alan looked back at his brother with guilt; he didn't mean to make Scott feel so bad. Days ago he would have never forgiven Scott for his actions and would never have heard him out like this, but a lot can change in twenty four hours.

Alan rubbed his temples against the pain of his headache before leaning his head back against the pillows, he sighed deeply before speaking.

"I didn't mean it when I said that I was disappointed in you. I know we all make mistakes Scott but some how I never think that you do. I just never thought you wouldn't believe me." Alan spoke with wisdom and honesty that many wouldn't have expected from him and his brother looked truly touched by his words.

"Everything is such a mess; I just can't believe what has been going on?" Scott Tracy considered the deep sadness the echoed in the eyes of his brother, but in an instant Alan's composure was back and the emotions hidden again.

"Are you okay Alan?" Scott questioned, he wished to god his baby brother would open up to someone, anyone. The pilot moved closer to his brother and wrapped his arm around him. The memories of Alan struggling to deal with the deaths of Rachel and her parents returned to him. However he was snapped from his memories by Alan's embrace of him, he returned the loving gesture but was concerned by Alan's uncharacterised actions.

Scott pulled his brother away from him after a few seconds to understand the meaning behind the embrace but saw such confusion on the face of his brother.

"Alan you can talk to me you know? Don't keep this all locked up, please." Alan saw the pleading emotions on his brother's face, he did feel upset but guilt and regret dominated his emotions.

"That explosion was meant for me wasn't it, not Rick?" Scott Tracy had no words of comfort for his baby brother.. Scott only moved to lie beside his brother before pulling Alan closer towards his chest and wrapping his arm around Alan's shoulders.

"I'm sorry Alan." Scott whispered in a desperate need to comfort the blond, part of him begging Alan would crack. Scott knew Alan had no ability to deal with his own feelings. While Virgil would feed his emotions into music or art, and Gordon would swim them out until exhaustion, Alan somehow learnt to hide any feelings he had.

Scott Tracy lay there holding his brother for an unknown amount of time broken only from his thoughts by Alan's gentle snoring; due to shear exhaustion only Alan had fell asleep.

Jeff Tracy continued to watch from the doorway of the bedroom as his eldest wished his youngest pleasant dreams. He had been glad his eldest and youngest were now on better terms but he had also seen Alan's state of mind and that was bothering the billionaire.

John Tracy made his way back from the small observatory that his father had especially built for him and walked on to the open patio next to it. John had had an early dinner with his family, minus Alan, a couple of hours ago and had decided at dusk to come and examine some of his work.

John had noticed both Scott and his father hadn't eaten much of their meal, and had soon left afterwards to talk in the lounge. John had tried to relax by stargazing but his mind was still fixed on the last few days' events, so had come out to get some air.

"Alan?" The younger blond turned his head to look in the direction that the voice had come from only to see John looking bemused as his presence as he walked down the steps from the observatory.

"Hey… I needed some air; you don't mind me invading your space do you?" John noticed Alan looked concerned that he was interrupting him.

"No, of course not, I just thought you were still asleep that's why I was surprised to see you here." John explained as he walked on to the patio and took a seat on the outdoor couches.

"I wasn't disturbing you was I?" Alan asked as he looked up to the stars above him.

"No of course not, I was just checking my results from the study of the…" John paused and Alan looked at him because of it.

"You were asking out of politeness weren't you? You know Scott does the same thing but then he gives me this look of complete confusion, like I had been speaking Latin or something." Alan gave a small smile indicating his corresponding behaviour to Scott's, and John laughed in return.

"Careful you're turning in to a mini Scott." Alan again looked back up to the quickly darkening sky and the scattered stars that were emerging.

"Don't say that." Alan spoke as he examined the stars, night had set in fast and air was getting cooler. A silence set between the blonds before John confessed his emotions.

"Alan…I'm sorry." Alan looked back over towards where his brother was lying on the sofa, the night lights and low lighting cast his brother in deep shadow.

"About?" Alan asked softly but half knowing the answer.

"Alan I was his friend and the whole time he was plotting to kill you, I feel terrible." John confessed in a soft and emotional tone.

"John you didn't know, don't worry about it." Alan tried to ease his brother's guilt, the last thing he needed was to know he was making his brother's feel so guilty.

"But you were so angry at us only two days ago?" John relived the arguments that they had all had with Alan, and due to that he questioned the sincerity of his brother's acceptance of his apology.

"I know, but two days ago I didn't know what was going on myself. I wish I had, and then Rick would still be here." Alan didn't meet John's eyes as he looked around the small patio stationed on the highest part of the island away from the house.

As John Tracy looked at his brother he couldn't help but think of his mother, they were so alike.

"I'm so sorry that I said that mom would have been ashamed of you. It's not true, and I only said it because I was jealous of you." John spoke from the heart and his little brother sat upright at his words.

"What?" Alan got up and moved to sit on the edge of the couch John was laid on; he was truly puzzled by what John meant.

"I wish sometimes I could be more like you Alan, because you're so much like mom. I was jealous that you're like her and I'm not, but then I reminded myself that I would never swop being like mom for never knowing mom." Alan lowered his head, he could count how many times he and John had spoken about their mother on one hand.

However Alan felt keen to return the gesture of emotion and gratitude that John showed.

"Actually if I ever think what mom would have been like somehow I think of a cross between you and Virgil." John raised his head to look at Alan and smiled lovingly at his brother.

"Really?" Alan nodded and John seemed touched by Alan's rare confession concerning his mother.

"Anyway being John Tracy can't be that bad, being dad's favourite son has to have some advantages right?" Alan smiled as did John.

"We just get on well that's all, I'm not his favourite!" Alan only shook his head in protest before looking at John. Despite seeing his brother so little in the past years, Alan was touched about how caring John had been towards him in the past hours. John had an honest and caring nature, but was deeply emotional about matters close to his heart. Alan considered this was probably the real reasons why he had avoided being close to his middle brother.

"I have jealous of you for years John." John Tracy was surprised by Alan's openness about their mother, but that sentence had shocked him completely. Alan took in John's amazement but continued to explain his words.

"You can get on with dad and never argue but I can't manage a five minute conversation without it ending in disaster." Alan sounded slightly disheartened by that idea John noted.

"He trusts you completely, you always do the right thing in his eyes and he never looks at you with disappointment…and you're his favourite." John rolled his eyes at the last bit, but he took a real interest in the meaning behind Alan's words.

"Alan you might have to except dad sees you slightly differently that he sees us, despite what you might think he is extra protective about you. He hates that he has hurt you by pushing you away, and he just can't stand the idea that he could ever lose the one piece of mom that is still with us. Part of him can't face you without seeing mom, and the other part is so desperate never to make sure he never loses you like he lost mom." John tried to put his take on his father's and Alan's unique and varying relationship.

"Yeah there's kind of a lot of water under that bridge, but when I heard him talk to me at the hospital it was like he was seeing me completely differently. I never thought he would ever say some of the things he said." Alan had been thinking about his conversation with his father since he woken up.

"We all need to let go of mom Alan, especially dad." John added thoughtfully, as blue eyes met blue eyes and silence settled between them again.

"I think I will walk back." Alan added as a chill passed over his skin.

"Okay, I think I'll stay for a bit yet. Will you be okay getting back?" John asked concerned before Alan rolled his eyes in reply.

"Okay, forget I said anything." John watched his baby brother get up and walk away.

"Alan." Alan turned back at John's call.

"Alan if you're waiting for mine or dad's forgiveness before you start having a better relationship with us then you are going to be waiting a long time because it will never happen. You have nothing to apologise of feel guilty about in relation to mom." Alan was taken back by John's truthful revelation and he saw emotion all over his brother's face.

"Thanks." Alan walked away as he processed that idea; it made him feel just slightly better.

"Dad he's too young!" Jeff sighed and sat back into the deep leather chair, he looked over at Scott who was sitting on one of the chairs on the other side of his desk. He had just explained to Scott that he was going to offer his youngest son a place in their new rescue business if he wanted too.

"Never mind he's inexperienced or not trained in anything that going to help us dad. I was worried that Gordon was would still be too young to do this when we begin in fifteen months time, and he is four years older than Alan." Scott's protested with force at his father's words.

"Don't you think I know that Scott?" Jeff argued back in a slightly more irritated voice.

"I know Alan, Gordon and the rest of you are too young. I know he doesn't have the experience the rest of you have either, but the fact is Scott if I don't include Alan in the same way as the rest of you I'm going to lose him." Scott Tracy emphasised with his father, he knew if Alan was to be included in this project he would only accept if he wasn't treated differently despite his age.

"He's going to have you and your brothers watching him, and there is no way he is flying anything on his own, and has to follow orders to the latter." Jeff stood and walked around his personal office, he stopped and picked up a photo frame of his family.

"He will still be twenty when we start this up dad, so for the record I'm objecting on that ground." Scott spoke again but without the anger he had before.

"We send eighteen year olds on to the front line to fight in wars Scott, but I know what you mean, I also have my doubts about including Alan in this operation this much. If I think about it though part of me can't believe I'm thinking of sending any of my kids into such a dangerous situation." Jeff Tracy ran his thumb over the image of him and his five boys.

"Dad you're doing a fantastic thing, do you know how many lives we might save?" Scott got up from the chair and made his way over to his father.

"I know, I remind myself of that every single day because if I don't all I think of is the idea that I might loose one of you by doing this." Jeff confessed in a sombre tone and Scott put his hand on his shoulder for support.

"Alright, Alan's in, but he's going to be a nightmare in terms of listening to you and me." Jeff nodded as he put down the photo frame; Alan had a tendency to do as he felt was right and also to not fully consider the consequences of his own actions.

"He will be exchanging with John anyway for six months of the year on the satellite." Jeff added as he looked around the room, he had a feeling he would be dragging Alan into this sound proofed and secluded room for a yelling match or two in the next few years.

"You're kidding?" Scott turned around as his father spoke.

"Well John can't stay up there forever!" Jeff added as Scott smirked.

"He's going to hate that." Scott replied as he finished the rest of his drink.

"Yeah I know, but he can't have everything." Jeff returned to his desk and looked at his still smirking son.

"What?" Jeff added as he picked up his own drink before looking at his watch for the time. This room purposely had no windows so if someone was visiting they would be secluded from the rest of the islands goings on in here.

"Just make sure you tell Alan about that part in here. As I was going to test the sound proofing in this room by firing up my jets engines, but you having a yelling match with Alan is probably just as loud so you can save me a job." Jeff didn't see the funny side; he knew Alan would protest about satellite duty already.

"I kind of hoped yelling matches with Alan were behind me?" Jeff confessed.

"Dad you're always going to clash with Alan, but this time just make sure there is some sun between the storm clouds." Scott added wisely before collecting his father's cup and leaving the room.

"Alan!" The blond heard his name being called in an irritated way from behind him and turned to look in the direction of the pool.

"What are you doing up? Are you feeling okay?" Virgil Tracy spotted the slowly moving form of his brother creeping up the steps heading back to the villa, but he wasn't letting Alan off for it.

Alan rolled his eyes as his second eldest brother moved quickly towards him and away from the sun deck and seating area.

"I'm fine, I just needed some air." Alan walked back down the steps and moved towards his brother who wrapped his arms around him and assisted him back towards where he had been previously sitting.

"Virgil I'm fine." Alan did as his brother requested and sat down in the lounger but when Virgil started playing doctor and asking him about how he was feeling the blond hit his limit.

"Virgil…I'm fine, meaning I'm okay, meaning stop playing dad." Alan didn't shout at his brother but his tone was firm and a laugh then came from the direction of the pool.

"That told you Virg." Gordon Tracy finished his lap by smiling at this brother's conversation, before he pulled himself out of the water and sitting on the edge of the pool. Virgil surrendered his attempts to check on Alan and instead pulled up another chair next to his brother.

"What are doing up at this time?" Gordon asked Alan who looked at him with confusion about the question he had just asked.

"What are you doing swimming at this time? I thought you couldn't swim at night because of mosquito's?" Alan asked as he examined the pool area, the island was definitely designed for luxury he considered.

"There is a chemical in the water that they don't like and dad has put up these special heat and light repelers, they work great. Oh, and I couldn't sleep." Alan looked to where his brother was pointing to the soothing light that was being cast over the patio. The lighting all over the island was low level and relaxed; Alan decided that was probably to benefit John's star gazing.

"What your excuse, you should be resting?" Virgil asked and Alan shot him a glance for being overprotective again.

"I couldn't sleep, and I found John when I went for a walk." Alan rubbed his eyes and moved his seat so he was lying back looking up at the sky.

"That's funny because you look exhausted." Alan didn't reply to Virgil's worry, instead Gordon did by getting out of the pool and giving his brothers a light showering of water as he moved to sit by them.

"Gordon!" Virgil protested at the light dampening and threw him his towel from another patio chair.

"I hear you made peace with Scott, it's nice to know." Virgil commented as he examined his brother's mood. He had spoken to Scott about Alan's demeanour and his concerns about him.

"Yeah, we called a truce I suppose." Alan spoke half-heartedly and Gordon took it in the wrong manner.

"Are you still mad at him, or at us?" Gordon sat up concerned and asked his brother in an anxious tone.

"No I'm not mad at any of you I suppose, we were all being played. Sorry my minds just a bit…well everywhere at the minute." Alan yawned if only to confirm his words and his brothers shared a concerned look.

"Come on, we all should be in bed the last few days have taken there toll." Virgil stood up and tried to encourage his brothers to follow his lead, but Gordon spotted his elder brother approaching their position.

"Hey John, come to join the midnight party? Well very early midnight party" Gordon consulted his watch before smiling at John as he walked around the pool towards their position.

"What are you two doing up?" John asked Gordon and Virgil.

"We could ask you that?" Gordon jokingly mirrored the question they all seemed to be asking.

"Well I can't star gaze in the day Gordo, but you can swim in the day!" John smirked at Gordon before shifting his gaze to Alan and then giving his elder brother a concerned look.

"Well now you're here John you can come to bed too?" Gordon laughed and John gave him an amused look.

"Er… we're not really in to that sort of thing Virg, but hey whatever you're in too is fine by us." Gordon replied for John and but his arm around the blond to support his words. Virgil shook his head in annoyance at the way his two younger brothers had taken his words but used the distraction Gordon created to nod to John the he wanted some help with Alan.

"Come on we're all going to be killed if Scott or dad finds us awake and out here." Virgil moved closer to Alan, but Alan spoke to pause them all in their tracks.

"Too late." Alan saw his brother and father on the balcony above them as he moved to sit up in the lounger.

"What are you all doing awake, especially you." Scott stormed over to his brothers and indicted especially to Alan who was still seated.

"Were all just going to bed now Scott." John informed Scott and his father.

"Your damn right about that son. Bed, all of you, and I want you all up for breakfast at eight." Jeff spoke and got the attention of all his sons.

"Boys what are you waiting for, bed now." This time his sons moved from their position and started towards the stairs.

Jeff turned and watched his sons walk back up the steps towards the villa, noticing Alan looked unwell and was being supported by Virgil and John, so he followed quickly in pursuit.

Alan Tracy said his goodnights to his brothers before entering his bedroom and heading straight to the bathroom for some pain relief. He swallowed the tablets with some water before shutting the mirrored cabinet only to see a reflection of his father standing in the doorway to the bathroom.

"You're not supposed to be taking medication yet Alan." Jeff looked concerned as Alan had completely dismissed both the doctors and Virgil's orders.

"It's aspirin, I'll live." Alan spoke before moving past his father to sit on his bed. Jeff looked at him blankly before moving over to him.

"What?" Alan asked calmly as his father stood before him patiently.

"Get in bed." Jeff pointed out again but Alan angled his head in disagreement.

"I can't sleep." Jeff dismissed that instantly, he knew Alan was still truly exhausted. Jeff pulled the blankets back from his bed and moved to sit on the bed next to Alan.

"What are you doing?" Alan quizzed his father as he was gently encouraging him to lay down in his bed. Alan found himself unable to resist and was quickly being covered up by his blankets.

"What's does it look like? I'm tucking you in." Jeff made himself more comfortable as he sat upright overlooking his son on the bed.

"You do know I'm not four right? I don't need you to tuck me in." Alan pointed out as he fought his eyes that were closing and realised how quickly he was going too succumbed to sleep despite his mind swirling with information.

"Yeah I know, but however old you lot get I'm still going to keep a close eye on you, and that includes letting me have my fatherly moments." Both knew that Jeff had rarely put Alan to bed when he was younger, and the billionaire was had found himself being more fatherly to his sons lately especially in a more caring way.

"Now sleep." Jeff grazed his sons flaxen locks with his fingertips and was instantly reminded of the nights when he came in late from work to find his precious wife sleeping in their bed.

As the first rays of sunlight were cast on the villa Alan Tracy had decided on his next path, the blond lifted the cell phone and pushed dial.

"Lana?" Alan felt a soothing feeling wash over his body as he heard the soft English accent of the woman he loved. Lana had become a big part of his life over the past three years, but he had desperately tried to keep his father from knowing about them being a couple. He knew he had fell head over heals for her, she made him feel like Rachel used too, happy. He knew though that asking her to give up her studies to follow him around the world while he was racing was too much to ask, so they had broken their relationship in the last eight months.

"Alan, I was worried about you, I tried to call but…" Alan reassured her, the worry in her voice was clear.

"It alright, I'm fine." Alan paused that had been a terrible lie.

"I take it that's an 'Alan Tracy fine' not a 'normal definition' of being okay?" She knew him too well.

Alan supported him head with his hand as he sat on the balcony recliners.

"Yeah, that's about right." Alan mused his voice soft and low.

"I'm sorry about Richard, I know how much he meant to you. I just can't believe he's dead." Lana could determine Alan's emotions just by his tone; she sometimes questioned whether anyone knew Alan better then her.

"Alan, you can talk to me. Please don't pretend this isn't hurting you… I love you." Alan caved; he knew that, she had been the only bright part of the past three years.

"I need to see you, I need…to talk about things with you. It's a bit more complicated than you think." Alan suddenly felt a million decisions run around his head.

"I call you again later and tell you when I can meet you." Alan felt some sense of relief that he would be seeing Lana soon; he hadn't intended a relationship with her when they had met but he had fallen for her without even realising it.

"Alright, I'll see you soon." Alan heard the concern in her voice still despite his reassurances.

"Don't worry about me I just need to see you, that will make me feel better I promise." Alan explained.

"Lana." Alan paused; he knew she was listening intently.

"You know how I feel about you, don't you?" At the minute it was the closest to revealing his feelings that he was able to do. He had learnt from his father how to cut off your emotions to lower your chances of pain; however he only truly learnt this lessons consequence when he felt the pain of Rachel's death.

"Alan I have known how you feel about me for three years, despite you barely saying it." There was an element of both humour and love in her words and Alan smiled at hearing them. However twinges of guilt also hit him, 'I love you' were said over and over in his head about Lana, but they never managed to escape past his lips.

"Bye." Alan ended the call knowing how he truly felt about her, and being determined that they should restart their relationship, especially now he had made another crucial decision in his future.

Jeff Tracy's feet felt the cool waters of the ocean pass over them it was early on the island and he was attempting an early morning walk to reduce the high stress levels he had had recently. He was enjoying intently having his boys back with him, despite Alan's delicate condition. He also knew Alan and he had at least made some progress over the last two days but there was still a long way to go. In response to this worries Jeff pulled something out of the pocket on his shorts and looked at it with a smile before continuing up the beach. The sun was rising slowly but a cooling breeze swept along the shore and aided to calm the billionaire. However he stopped again in his tracks when he saw the distant figure of his son sitting on the beach looking out to the ocean.

"What are doing up Alan?" Jeff noted that his son seeing shocked out of his own world by his words and hadn't seen him approaching.

"I've slept enough." There was little point in arguing that despite Jeff knowing he was wrong, and he moved to sit by his son on the sand.

"You looked a little lost." Jeff spoke softly and Alan seemed to regain the neutral composure Jeff was used to dealing with.

"I'm quitting F1 after this season." Jeff looked at him with surprise, that was the last thing he expected Alan to say, but Alan only continued to look out to the horizon.

"Er…Are you sure?" Alan sighed and half smiled, although it was only a reaction to his father's words.

"I thought that would make you happy? You never wanted me to do it anyway." Alan replied and glanced at his father, his voice gave nothing away of his feelings.

"I don't you to do something to make me happy Alan. I need this to be your decision, not mine." Jeff replied.

"It is. I don't want to do this without Rick." Jeff nodded and also looked out to the horizon.

"Alan…I should have supported you more than I have, I do regret that you know." Alan didn't reply and Jeff knew he was still angry at him.

"You know if this was the other way around I would have really shouting at you if you had accused me of things I hadn't done, your being probably too kind with me." Jeff confessed and Alan met his eyes and shrugged slightly. The lack of anger at him from Alan was concerning, as it seemed like Alan didn't care anymore.

"You called me a liar, a drug addict and a traitor to this family. I'm not sure how we can more past that?" Alan's voice took a slightly more firm tone due to him reliving the arguments with his father over the past weeks, but his sadness over Richard's death dominantly overshadowed his feelings.

"Will you give me a chance to make things right?" Jeff almost begged for the chance and Alan glanced over to him.

"I was just surprised that you would ever think I would do some of those things, I know things are bad between us but I never thought you could think so little about me." Alan confessed and noted his fathers eyes showed nothing but guilt.

"Know matter what you lot do or could ever do, there isn't a second of my life went I couldn't love you boys, you're my sons." Alan couldn't look at Jeff to see that he meant it, in fear the armour he had built up over the year might crack.

"Alan all I need you to do is give me a chance to be the father I should have been to you." Jeff met again the cerulean eyes of his son and Alan heard the desperation in his father's voice.

"I didn't think Barton was a good influence on your life and I know that he and I have had a lot of issues, but part of me was jealous of the relationship you had with him and not with me." Jeff surprised him by admitting that to Alan, and the blond seemed amazed also.

"I didn't work with Rick to get back at you. We just got on really well, he seemed to get me and wanted to help me." Alan explained the relationship he had had with Richard, only then realising that he was no longer present in his life. A wave of guilt hit the young man and Jeff saw it in his eyes.

"Alan you're not to blame for his death." Jeff explained sensing his sons troubling emotions.

"He would still be here if Peter knew nothing about Rick and me." Alan's frustration and fury was clear and part of him seriously wished he could get some revenge.

"Yeah, and you wouldn't have been hurt if I hadn't introduced Peter into our lives. The fact is we don't know what's going to happen next, but I do know Richard would never want you to feel responsible for this." Jeff wrapped his arm around his sons' shoulders as a means of comfort to his son. Alan Tracy sat close to his father in silence for a few more minutes before speaking.

"I want to see him." Jeff seemed confused and Alan saw that in his face.

"Peter, I want to see him." Jeff held Alan arm and gently turned Alan towards him.

"You can't be serious, Alan he tried to kill you. I don't want you within 1000 kilometres of him." Jeff's voice was still raised in shock of Alan's decision.

"I need to see him; I just want to know why he did this?" Alan explained his decision and his face was determined and focused, and Jeff knew there was no chance of Alan changing his mind.

"I'm coming with you." Jeff spoke with just as much certainty in his voice as Alan had and Alan nodded in reply. Both men considered the events again of the past weeks and looked back out at the ocean.

Jeff Tracy ended his call to his eldest son who was still on their island in the Pacific, the contrast between the view he and his son had at this moment was vast. Jeff scanned the grey walls and black metal bars of the police station. He had been interviewed about the events between him, Alan and Peter for the past hour and a half, however Alan was still being questioned about the event. He and Alan had left the island early this morning to come to New York for this, and Alan was still adamant he wanted to see Peter Hemmings himself. Jeff was disturbed from his thought by his son entering the room.

"Hey, did it go okay?" Jeff stood as Alan entered the room.

"I suppose, I just told them what happened." Alan replied, however the event had been tiring on his emotions of guilt and anger, but they weren't about to be eased anytime soon he considered as a police officer entered the room.

"You can see Hemmings now; he's in the secure unit." Alan nodded to him and Jeff held Alan's arm as he attempted to move.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jeff's own anger at Peter was bubbling up also.

Alan only nodded in reply.

Peter Hemmings sat on the soft floor of the padded walled cell. He had been moved in here from a standard cell on the psychiatric unit last night after slamming himself into the walls repeatedly. The new environment meant nothing to him but still he stared at the beige cube surrounding him that was only broken on one side by a wall of metal bars. The small man held his knees close to his chest and continued to stare into space.

Alan Tracy sighed before he walked into the room that on one side was a solid wall while the other was the bars of the cell that contained Peter Hemmings. Alan was surprised to see the confused and erratic state that Peter was in, and he felt a twinge of sadness for him, before remembering what he had done to Richard.

"Alan? Jeff? You came to see me?" It was said in a child's voice and Peter looked surprised to see them, Alan noted there was an overwhelming joy in Peter's voice.

"We came to ask you about Richard Barton." Jeff's voice was stern and dominant and Peter looked taken aback by his former boss's attitude towards him, and his face dropped in response.

Peter took in the two men before him on the other side of the bars; Jeff was stood next to Alan in a protective manner, while the young blond just looked at him with venom.

"You killed him." It was more of a statement than a question, but Peter looked puzzled by what was being aimed at him, again the child like persona was present.

"I thought we could be a family, all I ever wanted was a family, people I could care about." Peter ignored Alan's question, and the two Tracy men noticed Peter seemed passive to them being there.

"Peter you tried to murder Alan, and you killed someone." Peter moved closer to the bars, and Jeff protectively moved to stand in front of his son.

"He didn't want to be there, he didn't act like your son, I did, and I wanted to help. To be a family." Despite being told that Peter had had a psychotic break only seeing him now did Jeff realise how fractured Peter's mind was.

"So you took it into your own hands to fix things to suit yourself?" Alan fought back with his voice raised, which seemed to scare Peter who moved backwards away from him.

"I just wanted a family, and you didn't want to be part of your family." Jeff couldn't help but look over his shoulder to Alan to gauge his expression at this idea; Alan only met his eyes with a hint of remorse.

"What about Richard? Did he just get in the way? Was that meant for me?" Peter looked at Alan directly, and Alan was truly surprised by the bemused look on his face.

"I just wanted a family." He spoke with such sadness and despair.

"We could go on holiday together, play soccer, and have dinner, a family…my family…We could…" Peter turned as he spoke and moved to sit back on the floor hunched up near the wall, his rambling about a family continued and any notice of the Tracy's presence was gone.

"Alan he isn't going to be able to help you." Alan knew that now, although he was still angry that he couldn't have the answers he wanted.

Jeff cast his eyes back over Peter's form he was continuing to talk to himself discussing family outing and plans. Jeff could clearly see the damaging impact that growing up without a stable home or family had had on Peter, and for that he had such sadness. He then turned to his own son and considered that Alan too had not had a good childhood either, and how much that had impacted Alan also.

"Let's go son." Jeff put his arm of Alan's shoulder and encouraged him towards the door. Jeff signalled to the guard to open the outside door as Peter got up and approached Alan again.

"You at least got one parent." It was whispered so quietly Alan barely heard it, but the impact of those childlike words had on the young man was immense.

"Let's get out of here." Alan walked past his father who was in the doorway and headed for the exit. Jeff found him a few minutes later leaning again the car.

"Are you okay?" Alan nodded, despite not really being sure. He wanted to be angry, to hate Peter more, but his final words to him kept running around his mind. He hated to admit but Peter was right, he had never considered that he should at least be grateful for having one parent, even if it wasn't a great relationship that he had with his father.

Jeff placed his hand of Alan's shoulder as he stood beside his son.

"Come on I'll take you home." Jeff moved to get into the car, but Alan stopped him first.

"I need to see Lana and get back in training. Any chance you can drop me at the airport?" Jeff glanced at Alan, part of him was worried that Alan would like before move more distant again once he had left to continue the season. Alan seemed to notice the disappointment his father had in reaction to his words.

"There's only three months left now, I need to complete his season I owe Rick that." Alan spoke softly as he noticed the afternoon air become more damp and gentle rain began to fall.

"I know I'm just a bit obsessed about knowing where you are at the minute." Jeff confessed while Alan smirked in appreciation and embarrassment.

"I'll call." Alan added and Jeff gave him an ironic look.

"I will." The blond added.

"Actually I was hoping I could see you racing and maybe get to meet this girl of yours that I have heard so much about, mostly from Gordon though." Alan smirked this time with embarrassment clearly shown.

"Maybe." Jeff nodded with a smile before both Tracy's got into the car.

The journey to the airport was made in reasonably but comfortable silence, but Alan was struggling to get rid off Peter's last words and the advice about Jeff he had gotten from Rick. He looked over to his father who was driving and considered the next path he could go down. He knew it was him that had rejected his father after Rachel had died, and from that day resisted all attempts to build bridges that Jeff had tried.

"How about I bring Lana to your charity ball next month?" Jeff looked across to his son with shock.

"I'd love that." Alan nodded in reply, but continued to speak his mind afterwards.

"Don't get too used to this, were going to argue you know." Alan explained but Jeff only smiled.

"I know. I'm not expecting to be able to snap my fingers Alan and you to have the perfect relationship, but I won't let things get as bad as this again." Jeff pulled the car to a holt as they had arrived at the airport.

"I er…have this for you. You have had it before the night Peter ran you off the road, but I know you don't remember it." Jeff pulled out a small box from his jacket that was on the backseat of the car.

Alan looked intrigued and he noticed his father examining him closely as he opened the box.

In seeing the silver watch Alan looked to his father with gratitude.

"Thank you." Jeff nodded and fought the unexpected emotions that he had. Alan read the card before leaning over to his father for a hug, noting he couldn't recall ever initiating an embracing his father before now. Jeff exhaled with such appreciation and held his son tightly despite the confined situation of being in the car.

"I'll see you soon son, don't forget to call me tomorrow okay?" Jeff reluctantly let go of his son after an extended embrace.

"Sure." Alan open the car door with his unoccupied hand and began to step out, before realising that if he and his father wanted to move forward there was something else he was going to have to start doing.

"Bye…dad." At that minute it was a good job Jeff Tracy was seated as the surprise of Alan speaking those words to him after so much had happened would have been enough to knock him from his feet.

Jeff watched his son walk into the airport terminal from his car mirror, he couldn't remember the first time he heard Alan call him 'dad' but this moment he now would never forget. He looked down to his wedding ring, he had taken for granted too many moment of his marriage, that was a mistake he wasn't about to repeat with Alan anymore.

This story has only the epilogue to go which will tie up this story and yes there is still a little more to go. It is planned and just needs writing, it is set all from Jeff's point of view. I have completely re written and re edited this story lately and every chapter has been changed. I would like to thank anyone who has read it, especially someone who emailed me to ask me to re post this and to finish it. Resentment will be finished soon.