p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"Author's Note: Cath faces some /strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"ubr /br /Chapter 11br /br /br /u/strongI held my head in both hands and sobbed quietly, my hair framing a curtain around my phone that lay in front of me. The home screen was still lit from delivering Clarke's brutal phone call. I had known Clarke a long time – being in law enforcement our paths often crossed, so when I had hired him to manage my divorce from Eddie I felt secure that I had done the right thing. Clarke was an excellent attorney and, although he had never handled any of my cases, I had seen him in action in numerous others. Grissom also thought highly of him, which cemented my choice in using his /br /br /I heard Nick get up and noiselessly close my office door before I felt his strong hands on my shoulders. He massaged me for a minute or two before he gently tugged for me to lean back in my chair where he could drop a kiss on my forehead. He reached down into one of my desk drawers for a box of Kleenex while I sat up and cleared my throat, attempting to wipe the tears that had showered my face – my makeup looking like one of Lindsey's artworks; thinking of her set me off again. I felt Nick grasp my hand, leading me to stand up and deflate into his arms where I sobbed for a couple more moments. He held me and allowed me to sob myself out, until I felt like I had dried up tear ducts and couldn't cry anymore. It occurred to me that I had been spending a lot of time in his arms lately – especially during my bad moments that once again got me thinking, what would I have done without him? He massaged my neck with one hand and held me against him with the /Eventually, I breathed in a deep gulp of air and took a step back – he still grasped my elbow with one hand. I dabbed the last of the waterworks under my eyes and blew my nose before I cleared my throat and looked up at /He slid his hand down to find mine and gave me a squeeze before murmuring, "You want to tell what that was all about?"br /I took another deep breath and immediately felt the pain sear through to my /"That was Clarke." I sounded muffled with my nose being blocked, still trying to recover from the punch of /Nick nodded and waited for me to recollect myself. "I know Clarke – he's worked some of my cases. He's a good guy and plays no mercy in court."br /It was my turn to nod now. "Partly why Grissom recommended him. I also know him from various cases, but he's never worked any of mine. Anyway, he handled my divorce and is now handling custody. Originally we had agreed Eddie would have her Thursdays through to Mondays – but obviously that wasn't good enough for him. He wanted her more often, which was ridiculous. It didn't take me long to figure out that the only reason why he kept fighting the custody arrangements is because it meant that he would be able to see me more often, which is what he wanted. He vowed when I eventually filed for divorce that I would always belong to him and he would never let me go. He's never had any interest in Lindsey and now he wants sole custody and termination of my visitation," I scoffed in /Nick listened attentively without interruption, rubbing his thumb across my hand in comfort and /"Lindsey adores her father – you've seen her," I sighed. "You also know that I try to make it a point of never bringing him down in front of her or for her to watch us argue either. I don't think any of that ever occurs to Eddie, but I'm conscious of it in the sense I don't want her to be emotionally scarred from living in an unstable home – shunted back and forth between her parents. I don't want her to feel like a pawn and that's exactly what Eddie is doing." I clenched my jaw and took a sharp /"This has nothing to do with Lindsey then," Nick said gently. "His sole focus is you."br /"But she's the one who's going to get hurt the most no matter how much I try to protect her! Eddie infiltrates our lives like toxic poison because the 'law' has deemed it fair he do so!" I spat out, my face depicting a look of pure /"Cath," Nick said calmly and led me to sit next to him on the small sofa in the corner. "Clarke is an ass kicking attorney – you said so yourself and he's got Grissom's praises too. You work in law enforcement – an upstanding and commendable job. You've got dozens of people who know you and can accredit for you. Eddie's twisted plan is going to backfire and he's probably going to be the one with no custody and termination of visitation – not you."br /"I hope you're right Nick. I really hope you're right because if you're not…" my voice waivered on the last word and I looked down, trying to take in a deep breath before a fresh flow of tears could threaten to /We sat in silence for a couple of minutes. I had now moved to lie next to him, my head against his chest and his arm around my waist. We had been doing this a lot lately too and it was the safest I had felt in a very long /He firmly kissed the top of my head and murmured, "Cath… " he hesitated, "Can I ask you something?"br /I nodded against him and raised my head to look up at him. "Sure," I answered /"Did Eddie… was he ever… did he ever… was he abusive?" He tried to ask /I stiffened against him, unsure how to answer him. "He… never hesitated to lift a hand… or foot, for that matter," I replied slowly. "I'm sorry," I /"Hey." Nick sat forward, bringing me with him. He made me look at him by leveraging my head and rested his hands on either side of my neck. "Don't do that. Don't apologize for him. And don't allow him to make you feel guilty for something that was never your fault – ever. No matter what he says, any man who stoops as low as to hit a woman, especially one that he supposedly loves, is a coward." Nick's nostrils flared slightly in fury and his breathing had become a little labored. He brought my lips to his and gently, but firmly, kissed me. I relaxed into the kiss and welcomed him into me, moaning without realizing it as he explored my mouth thoroughly – almost insistent to try and make up for my past. I gasped and broke away and then, panting from exertion, I asked, "What made you ask?"br /He dropped his hands from my neck and rested them on my knees. "I've never liked him. You know that. I've always thought him to be cagey. I think the one instance that made me suspicious is when he stormed the lab and pinned you against the wall. Thank God Grissom had got to him first because if I had…" he trailed off, leaving me to fill in the blank of what he would do. I sensed it wouldn't be /"Can I ask you something else?"br /I breathed in silently and exhaled painfully. "Sure," I whispered this time. He could tell this was painful for me, but I ignored it and wanted to tell him the /"Did he ever rape you?" He asked in a low /I looked down and fidgeted with a ring on my finger. His hands were still on my knees and I felt his body heat flooding me creating the sense of total ease. He didn't push me, but waited for me to answer in my /A couple of minutes went by before I looked up at him and said, "He took what he wanted, when he wanted it and how he wanted it." I left it at that because I think that basically said it /"Oh Cath, baby no." He stood up and enveloped me into a tight bear hug – just like he did the night we found Jane Doe. He held me for a long while and when we did separate, he danced intense kisses all over my face, neck and collarbone before he landed on my lips. He didn't wait for an invite this time, but met my tongue with his, rolling us over from his mouth to mine and back again. I groaned into him and clutched at his shoulders before combing my hands through his hair, dragging his head down to me so I could deepen the kiss. He fell back against the sofa and I straddled him, our mouths still joined. As I sank down on his lap I felt how hard he was already, how he throbbed insistently against me and I gasped into the kiss, my eyes flying open. He reacted by putting his hands on my ass and sliding me closer – skimming his arousal. I began to unbutton his jeans and struggled with his belt buckle. I was just about to yank his belt off when I felt him pull away and grasp my /"Wait Cath." He was breathing hard. "Let's not do this here. All it takes is for us to do it once and then we'll be doing it every chance we get."br /I lifted an eyebrow at him. "What would be so wrong about that?" I leaned down and kissed my way up and down his neck, throwing in gentle little nips and bites. He dropped his hands and tightened his grip on my ass and then strangled out, "Cath stop. Please stop… stop… I… I can't… I can't… Cath please!"br /I smiled wickedly as I slowly ground against him while he continued to beg me to stop. My smile turned into one of amusement as I felt his struggle, leaving me to lean forward on my knees and kiss him as intensely and as passionately as I could before landing both feet on the floor in front of him. He sat up, his elbows on his knees and breathed hard for a minute or two. I still stood in front of him wearing a smile of entertainment /He lifted his head to look up at me, still breathing hard, and panted, "No fair… so… no… fair."br /I felt a tug of guilt and softened as I stepped forward and held his head, drawing him to rest against the flat of my stomach before I leaned down and kissed the top of his head tenderly, running my hand through his hair. He sighed against me and we stayed like that for a few contented moments, both of us reluctant to separate when I heard the notification sound on my /Nick stood up and, now having the height advantage over me, was able to tower over me while pulling me into a tight /"Whatever that email says," he murmured and I felt his breath puff gingerly on the top of my head, "we'll handle it, okay? I'm not going to let anything happen to you…" he paused a second before he added, "or to Lindsey." br /And with that I turned in his arms to pick up my phone where the envelope for a new email was flashing. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span /span/p