Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now).
Yeah
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partying
The smashing and crashing
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And after all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time when you fade to the blackness
When you're staring at that phone in your lap
And hopin' but them people never call you back.
"Bella it's time to get up, you're running late for school" I faintly heard Charlie say from the other side of my closed bedroom door. I grumbled as I slowly got out of bed and picked out my outfit for the day; I didn't care if I was late today. The longer I could avoid the Cullens, the better.
I decided on a teal long-sleeved top with black jeans, I looked through my shoes and found a pair of simple black ballet flats. [on profile]
I opened my door and walked through to the bathroom, calling a "good-morning" to Charlie who I could hear downstairs. I took my time in the shower and let the warm water wash over me, after I got out I put on my clothes and brushed my hair when I had finished blow-drying it.
I brushed my teeth quickly, knowing that I had already wasted enough time and walked down the stairs to say bye to my dad.
When I got into my truck, I took my ipod out from my black shoulder bag that had a white leaf design on the side of the flap and put the earphones into my ears. I started up my rusty car and made my way to the school.
Just as I pulled into my parking spot - which I made sure was as far away from the silver Volvo as possible - the bell rang, signalling that it was time for class. I stepped away from my car door and turned up the volume to my music as I made my way into the building.
"Bella!" I heard Alice Cullen yell from behind me, but I acted as if I hadn't heard her and kept walking. "Bella!" I heard her yell again, she was closer to me now.
I quickly turned the corner and as I passed my locker I remembered that I needed to get my English book from it, I stopped in front of it and fiddled with the lock as fast as I could manage.
"Hi Bella" Alice greeted as she bounced to a stop next to me, I ignored her once again and put my book into my bag while slamming my locker closed.
"Why are you ignoring me?" She said as she started walking to keep pace with me, maybe just a few words won't hurt.
"I'm late for class" I muttered as I picked up my speed.
"Did I do something wrong?" Alice asked quietly, although loud enough for me. "What am I asking? Of course I did, I let my brother leave you..." I braced myself for the pain but was still shocked at the intensity of it, I didn't say anything back to Alice; I just kept walking and hoped that she would stop talking soon.
Finally after what seemed like hours but in reality were only seconds, I found my exit and made my way into english class as I had already missed homeroom.
"You're late Miss Swan." Mr. Varner said as I made my way to my seat next to Jessica.
"I know, sorry sir I slept in" I said quietly and saw him give me an annoyed look for interrupting his class.
"You're late as well Miss Cullen," I froze when I noticed that Mr. Varner was talking to Alice, what the... Since when is she in this class? "I would think that on you're first day in a new class, you would make sure you were on time."
"Sorry Mr Varner, I was in the office." Alice chirped and walked gracefully to the only spare seat, which happened to be next to Mike Newton and in front of Jessica and me.
"As I was saying..." I barely listened as Mr Varner began talking about Shakespear.
The rest of class passed by slowly and finally the teacher was telling us that the bell was about to go. I quickly packed up my things and walked out of the room in the direction of Trigonometry, but I was quickly stopped by a frightening Alice.
"I want to know what I did that has made you ignore me Bella." She demanded, I tried to make my way around her but she blocked my way.
"Go away Alice" She looked at me in shock and I took that time to make my escape, I weaved around her and walked quickly to my next class; thankfully not running into any more Cullens.
I stepped into Trigonometry and saw the principal Mr Greene standing at the front of the room, he didn't speak until everyone had taken their seats.
"Todays class has been cancelled due to your teacher getting sick and we didn't have enough time to find a replacement." He said in a monotone, he gave each of us a stern look before he walked out of the class.
Instantly, everyone started talking and gossiping and a few students actually left the room.
"... No I dont think they're back together, and I doubt they'd be getting back with each other either." I heard Jessica Stanley say to someone but I didn't know who she was talking to or about.
"Do you think she still likes him?" Lauren Mallory asked.
"Absolutely, you should have seen her face when I told her that they were back." Jessica said, oh god I think they're talking about me. "Well I don't blame her though, he's a god."
"I don't think he likes her, I mean, if he did he would be acting like it right? And he's not... Do you think she put out? Maybe that's why he went out with her..." Lauren was mumbling, I tuned her out; I really didn't want to listen to what Jessica Stanley or Lauren Mallory thought about Edward and I.
As the talking became too much to bare, I pulled out my ipod and turned it on to shuffle mode.
The first song that played was Rain by Creed.
Can you help me out?
Can you lend me a hand?
It's safe to say that I'm stuck again
Trapped between this life and the light
I just can't figure out how to make it right
A thousand times before
I've wondered if there's something more, something more
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
With every tomorrow comes another life
I feel it's gonna rain for days and days
I feel it's gonna rain
I tried to figure out
I can understand what it means to be whole again
Trapped between the truth and the consequence
Nothing's real, nothing's making sense
A thousand times before
I've wondered if there's something more, something more
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
I feel it's gonna rain like this, rain like this, rain like this
Fall down, wash away my yesterdays
Fall down, so let the rain fall down on me
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
Let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
I feel it's gonna rain like this, rain like this
I feel it's gonna rain like this, rain like this
I feel it's gonna rain like this,
I feel it's gonna rain.
The music faded and the song changed to Can't Be Tamed by Miley Cyrus.
For those who don't know me,
I can get a bit crazy
Have to get my way, yep 24 hours a day
'Cuz I'm hot like that
Every guy, everywhere just gives me mad attention
Like I'm under inspection,
I always get a ten
'Cuz I'm built like that
I go through guys like money flyin' out the hands
They try to change me but they realize they can't
And every tomorrow is a day
I never plan If you gonna be my man understand
I can't be tamed,
I can't be tamed,
I can't be blamed
I can't can't, I can't can't be tamed
I can't be changed I can't be tamed,
I can't be be,
I can't be tamed If there is a question about my intentions
I'll tell ya I'm not here to sell ya
Or tell you to go to hell (I'm not a brat like that)
I'm like a puzzle but all of my pieces are jagged
If you can understand this
We can make some magic
I'm wrong like that
I wanna fly, I wanna drive,
I wanna go I wanna be a part of something I don't know
And if you try to hold me back I might explode
Baby by now you should know
I can't be tamed, I can't be tamed,
I can't be blamed I can't can't,
I can't can't be tamed
I can't be changed I can't be tamed,
I can't be be, I can't be tamed
Well I'm not a trick you play
I'm wired a different way
I'm not a mistake, I'm not a fake, It's set in my DNA
Don't change me, don't change me
Don't change me, don't change me (I can't be tamed)
I wanna fly, I wanna drive, I wanna go
I wanna be a part of something I don't know
And if you try to hold me back I might explode
Baby by now you should know
I can't be tamed, I can't be tamed,
I can't be blamed I can't can't,
I can't can't be tamed I can't be changed
I can't be tamed, I can't be be,
I can't be tamed.
I looked to the clock and saw that the class still had 45 minutes left, I took out one of my books and started doodling absentmindedly in the margins while my ipod changed to the next song, Eenie Meenie by Justin Bieber.
Eenie meenie miney mo
Catch a bad chick by her toe
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go
Shes indecisive
She cant decide
She keeps on lookin
From left to right
Girl, cmon get closer
Look in my eyes
Searchin is so wrong
Im Mr. Right
You seem like the type
To love em and leave em
And disappear right after this song.
So give me the night
To show you, hold you
Dont leave me out here dancin alone
You cant make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind
Please dont waste my time, time, time, time, time
Im not tryin to rewind, wind, wind, wind,
wind I wish our hearts could come together as one
Cause shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Let me show you what your missin
Paradise
With me youre winning girl
You dont have to roll the dice
Tell me what youre really here for
Them other guys?
I can see right through ya
You seem like the type
To love em and leave em
And disappear right after the song.
So give me the night
To show you, hold you
Dont leave me out here dancin alone
Cant make up your mind
Please dont waste my time
Not tryin to rewind
I wish our hearts could come together as one
Cause shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Eenie meenie miney moe
Catch a bad chick by her toe
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go
Eenie meenie miney moe
Catch a bad chick by her toe
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Cant make up your mind
Please dont waste my time
Not tryin to rewind
I wish our hearts could come together as one.
The song ended and I continued drawing on my book as I waited for the next song to start but before it did I heard Jessica speaking.
"Do you think all of them are still together?" She asked quietly.
"I don't know, probably" It was Angela who Jess was talking with now.
"Do you think Alice and Jasper are still an item?" Jessica asked, I was suspicious now. Why would Jess single out Jasper and Alice? Angela seemed to have been thinking along the same lines as me because she asked.
"Why?" I waited impatiently for Jess to answer her question but just as she did, my music started up again. I quickly hit pause and listened closely.
"What? As if, I thought you liked Edward?" Angela was saying, I missed what Jessica had said.
"Well... I do, but I don't know. Jasper just has this aura about him..." She trailed off, probably into one of her fantasies. So Jess likes Jasper?... And Edward? "Do you think Jasper would date me?" I froze, confused.
"But he's dating Alice" married to Alice I mentally corrected.
"I know... For now anyway." Jessica said slyly. My anger flared up in a second, how dare she.
"What are you -" Angela didn't finish her sentence because I got to my feet and turned around. I didn't know what I was doing, I just had to let my anger out.
"How dare you. Jasper and Alice are deeply in love and if you think that you can break them up then you are sorely mistaken. And if you think you even have the slightest chance to get his attention then you are more daft than you look." I growled at her, Jessica and Angela had their mouths open, obviously not expecting my outburst. I picked up my things and stormed out of the room, I wasn't oblivious to all the eyes that followed me out the door.
I stepped away from the classroom and was immediately met by Alice, she looked like she wanted to cry and threw her arms around me.
"Thank you" She whispered in my ear, I stiffened in her arms and waited for her to let go.
"It's no problem" I mumbled, she slowly loosened her grip on me, her eyes sad.
"Are you going to forgive us?" She asked softly, seeming like she was afraid of the answer.
"I've already forgiven you all" I answered simply and saw her eyes brighten but then turn confused.
"Then why are you avoiding us so much?" She asked.
"I can't get close to you... Not again... Not if..." I trailed off and looked down as my eyes started to get watery. I took a deep breath and looked up, "You should get back to class." I said to Alice and started to walk towards the benches that were under the shelter.
"No I don't, I'll make up some excuse." Alice chirped a she bounced next to me.
"Um... I don't think us spending time together is a good idea..." I said slowly, trying not to hurt her.
"But... We don't have to talk about what happened..." I thought about it for a while and then nodded my head.
"Yay!" Alice said and followed me to the bench. "So how has your day been so far?" She asked casually.
"It's been okay, how has yours been?" I asked rather awkwardly. I looked down and noticed for the first time that day what Alice was wearing, she had on plain black long tights with a brown shirt that went to her thighs, she had a black coat over her arm and surprisingly Alice was wearing high heels today that matched her top. I looked around and saw a simple brown handbag on the bench that matched her brown waist belt.
"Mine's been alright." Alice answered. It was silent for a very long time before I voiced a question that had been haunting me since the day they left.
"Alice?" I asked, gaining her attention.
"Yes Bella?"
"I know we said that we wouldn't talk about what happened but I need to ask you something... Why didn't you say good-bye? I mean... Did-did I do something wrong?" I asked, not confident enough to look at her face, so I watched my hands.
"Bella" Alice gasped and I quickly looked at her, fearing that something was wrong. She was staring at me with wide eyes. "The only reason I did that was because Edward said a clean break would help you heal faster, I didn't want you to suffer any more than you had to." I looked down again and tried to calm myself down enough that my eyes would stop tearing up, but they just wouldn't; eventually a tear escaped down my cheek and I felt Alice wipe it away.
"Why are you crying?" She asked softly.
"All this time, I thought that apart from the... Obvious stuff; my best friend hated me." I whispered shakily, "It was almost as painful as knowing that he..." I trailed off, not being able to finish the sentence.
"I could never hate you Bella" She hugged her arms around me and this time I hugged her back, "I love you with all my heart"
"I love you too Alice" It was silent again for a few minutes before I thought of another thing that had confused me. "Why are you in my English class now?"
"Well... I wanted to spend more time with you" She said sheepishly.
"Oh" Just then the bell rang, Alice and I both looked at each other but we didn't move, I looked around us and saw students making their way across the courtyard to the cafeteria; I peered back behind Alice's head and saw Rosalie making her way over to the bench. I quickly glanced at her and saw that she had on plain black jeans with a grey shirt that had black and white lines crossing over it, she was wearing a simple white jacket that had silver buttons on it and her high heels matched her top. I couldn't see a handbag.
"There you are Alice, Hello Bella" Rosalie said once she had reached us.
"Hi" I said quietly, slightly shocked that she had acknowledged me at all.
"This is actually good because I wanted to talk to you... Well apologize really" She continued, I was confused.
"Apologize? For what?"
"For acting the way I did, I had no right to be so rude to you." She said grimly.
"Oh, well that's okay, I understand why you did it."
"That still doesn't change what I did, but thank you anyway Bella." Rosalie said with a smile on her face, I smiled back at her, glad that the grudge Rosalie had against me seemed to have worn off.
"Well, I need to go get lunch. So.." I mumbled standing up and gave an awkward wave.
"We'll walk with you" Alice said as she jumped away from the bench in a way that would make me trip over if I tried to do the same.
Rosalie and Alice walked by my side - with Alice on my right and Rosalie on my left - as we entered the cafeteria, we walked towards where the food was and I bought an apple and water; Alice looked at them disapprovingly.
"What?" I asked looking at what I had in my hands.
"That's not very much food" She answered while Rosalie paid for their food.
"I'm not hungry" I shrugged as I waited for Rosalie to take her food so I could pay the cafeteria lady.
"Will you sit with us?" Alice asked as I took back my apple and water after I had paid.
"I... Uh, I don't think so" I said awkwardly.
"Please" Alice asked, looking at me from under her lashes. I sighed as I felt myself begin to reluctantly agree to Alice, I felt it coming in waves and knew what was happening; as much as I tried I couldn't fight off Jasper's gift.
"Fine" I grumbled as I shot daggers at Jasper, Alice beamed and pulled me by the hand to the table that her family sat at.
"Hey Bella" Emmett said once we had sat down at the table, Rosalie sat next to Emmett while Alice sat in between Jasper and Edward, which left me to sit between Emmett and Edward.
"Hello"
"Good Afternoon Bella" I heard the beautiful voice say from next to me, I reveled in the sound of him before I realized that I should answer.
"Hi, Hello Jasper"
"Hi" Jasper replied politely before he turned to Alice and started a conversation with her, I looked to Emmett and Rosalie and noticed that they were wrapped up in eachother. This is going to get awkward.
"Um... How's your day been?" I asked Edward, turning my body to face him.
"Increasingly better, how has yours been?" He asked, smiling crookedly at me, my breathing hitched and I forgot all about the conversation we were having.
"You should eat now" Edward whispered
"Okay" I answered but made no indication of moving. Edward sighed and stopped smiling though I could clearly still see the amusement on his features.
After a lot of control I managed to get my breathing back to a reasonable speed, I picked up my apple from the table and turned it slowly in my hands.
"You never answered my question" I heard Edward's velvety voice say.
"What was the question?" I asked and then took a bite of my apple.
"How is your day going?" I thought about my answer while I chewed.
"It's been alright" I answered simply, it was silent for a few minutes before he spoke again.
"I heard about you sticking up for Alice and Jasper's relationship, that was very nice of you."
"It was no big deal" I said and took another bite of my apple.
"I beg to differ" He replied smoothly, I looked up at him and blushed a deep red when I saw him staring at me the way he used to. I felt a pang in my chest when I realised that he probably didn't intentionally look at me like that, I looked back down to my apple and continued turning it; suddenly I wasn't all that hungry.
I put my apple back on the table and sat back in my chair, crossing my legs.
"You're not hungry?" Edward asked, his voice coated with concern.
"Not anymore"
"Do you feel okay?" Alice piped up, I turned and saw that everyone at the table was looking at me, I blushed slightly when I noticed this.
"Yeah i'm fine" I glanced around the cafeteria to avoid their eyes, I stopped at the table that I usually sat at and saw that Jessica and Lauren were staring at us, or more precisely staring at Edward and glaring at me. I wanted to be able to take his hand in mine to show Lauren and Jessica as well as everyone else that wanted him that Edward was mine and always will be; but I couldn't because he wasn't mine and probably never will be again, for all I knew he could want one of them back. My breathing got a little labored and I wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to hold myself together.
"Are you cold?" Edward asked and started shrugging off his black leather jacket which showed his white v-neck shirt.
"N-no i'm not cold" I said as casually as I could manage but when I felt myself become instantly calm I knew that I atleast hadn't fooled Jasper.
"We're going to get to class" I heard Emmett say and as I looked up, I saw Rosalie and him stand up with their tray of untouched food.
"See-ya Bella" Emmett said as he took Rosalie's hand and led her towards the door. I looked at Emmett and saw his clothes for the first day as he walked away, he was wearing a long-sleeved pale blue shirt with long black cargo pants. He had on black and white dunlop sneakers and a black hooded jacket [on profile]
"Bye" Rosalie said as she followed him.
"Bye" I mumbled although I knew they could hear me. I checked my watch and saw that the bell was set to ring in a couple of minutes so I figured that I would leave as well so I could avoid the crowd.
"Um, Im gonna go to class as well. So... Bye" I said while standing up.
"Bye Bella, I'll see you soon" Alice chirped
"See you later" Jasper said and I could faintly hear his Southern accent.
"Do you mind if I walk with you?" Edward asked, looking up at me with his topaz eyes melting. My breathing hitched and I struggled to speak properly.
"N-no" I answered and when I saw his face fall I realised that he had mis-interpreted my answer, "I mean I don't mind" I said with a slight smile; it was easy to smile at him when he wasn't looking directly at me. He then looked back up with a grin on his face and swiftly stood up.
"Are Carlisle and Esme in town?" I asked after I couldn't stand the awkward silence any longer.
"Yes they are, would you like to see them? They miss you a lot" I thought about it for a while and decided that I really did want to see them.
"I really would actually... Do you mind?..." I looked at him nervously, I don't know if I could handle rejection a second time.
"Why would I mind?" Edward asked, seeming very shocked. I didn't reply though, I just looked at him sadly from the corner of my eye. "Bella... We need to talk about this soon..."
"I... I know" I whispered awkwardly, "when I come to see Carlisle and Esme then?"
By now we were at our biology classroom, so we both walked to the back of the room where we shared a desk; Mr Banner started the lesson a few moments after so we couldn't continue our conversation.
I was looking at my notebook absentmindedly when I saw a flash of white and then a paper on top of my hands, I pulled back slightly momentarily stunned by the quickness of what had just happened.
You really want to talk tonight?
I ignored the slight pang in my chest and quickly scribbled a reply.
Well... We don't have to if you don't want to.
I folded the note and passed it back to him, it was only mili-seconds before it was put in front of me again.
I want nothing more than to talk about us, I just didn't think you would want to speak so soon.
I'm as ready as I'll ever be, I just don't know how I will feel later. So if I back out, don't be surprised. Haha.
I wrote, trying to make a joke out of it, although it didn't work.
Would you like to talk now then? Incase you do back out
I thought about what Edward had written and knew he had a point, I also knew that I probably would lose my nerve if I waited until tonight.
Okay, I guess that's a good idea.
Thank you, Can I start?"
I pondered that for a while and decided that if I was ever going to be able to tell him even half the things I wanted to then I had to go first.
Do you mind if I do?
Of course not, go ahead
Right then, the bell rang. That was the quickest class ever.
"Oh, maybe we should talk later instead now" I said quietly when I noticed everyone was packing up their things.
"Well... Unless you want to skip last class and talk now?" Edward suggested, which was really out of character for him.
"Um, okay... Yeah"
We both picked up our stuff and walked quickly out to the car park.
"Should we take my truck so the others have your car to get home in?" I asked as I hesitated in the middle of the lot.
"Yeah" Edward said and took off in the direction of my Chevy. When I got to my car, I unlocked the doors and we both got in.
"Where are we going?" I asked quietly
"My house?" He suggested and I nodded my head in agreement.
I drove the long drive to The Cullens mansion and slowly pulled up in front of it, I let my truck idle for a moment before I shut off the engine and took out the key. I went to open the door but it was already open and I saw Edward standing on the other side waiting patiently for me. I quietly thanked him and got out of my seat.
I steadily made my way up the front stairs and walked through the threshold once Edward had opened the door, the moment I stepped into the home I was pulled into a desperate hug by Esme; I hugged her back greedily and sobbed with her, although she didn't shed any tears.
After Esme let go of me, I was quickly pulled into another hug but this time by Carlisle. When Carlisle pulled out of the hug, he kissed me on the forehead and stepped into the arms of Esme, I smiled back at them brightly.
It was silent for the longest time as my second-parents in so many ways looked back and forth between Edward and I in a way that I would have usually questioned. But at the moment I didn't mind, it was almost as if I had my old life back; minus the love of my life who stood less than a metre away from me.
TO BE CONTINUED...
[Author Note: Okay, I know it's been a while since I have updated this story and Im very sorry. And I know this chapter says To be continued, but i had to do it because i thought the chapter went for too long and theres still alot I want to write. So I'll continue it on from exactly where it ended. Thanks for reading and remember to review :) xx]