Choosy Unicorns

Harry had had a skip in his step ever since the Yule Ball, Ron noticed. He himself had left early as Padma grew tired of him, and the last he had seen was that Harry spent a lot of time dancing with not just both Indian girls, but also just about every other girl in their year – even some Slytherins. Ron had waited up for Harry or Hermione to return, he wanted to lay into Hermione for going with the enemy (or Viktor Krum as others called him), but had fallen asleep instead.

Everybody was remarkably close-lipped about the Ball the following day, and the red-head had paid it no more mind. Now they were going to Care of Magical Creatures class.
'I reckon the Skrewts will warm us up nicely, if they haven' burn' Hagrid's cabin by now, eh mate?' he called out to Harry, getting a laugh in response. But Hagrid was not by his cabin, instead there was an elderly witch with grey hair, and a rather large chin.

'Hurry up now, we're already late,' she egged the class on, as they walked to her. Ron loudly asked where Hagrid was, getting only the reply that the woman was temporarily taking over, and her name was Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank. Harry didn't seem to concerned, the black-haired wizard was helping some of the girls navigate the rough terrain, Ron noticed. Shortly they arrived at the stables, where the Beauxbatons Abraxans were kept.

The teacher led them past it, and at the edge of the forest, a majestic unicorn was tethered to the ground. Most of the girls 'ooooohed!' as they spotted it.

'It's beautiful,' whispered Lavender Brown, 'wonder how she caught it? They're supposed to be nearly impossible to trap!'

The unicorn was a bright shining white, with perfect manes, and golden hooves. As the class approached, it began kicking the ground nervously.

'Boys, keep back!' yelled Professor Grubbly-Plank, throwing out an arm and hitting Harry across the chest. Harry and most of the girls glared at her. 'They only tolerate a virgin's touch, unicorns. All girls to the front, and approach it carefully.'

Many of the girls hesitated, Ron noticed. Only Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode walked up towards the Professor and the unicorn. Professor Grubbly-Plank looked back, 'come on now girls! Up you come!'

Lavender Brown hesitatingly took a step towards the unicorn, which began to bristle in anger, and she hastily stepped back. Professor Grubbly-Plank looked on, boggled. 'I have no idea what is going on here. You there,' she pointed at Hermione, 'approach.'

Hermione stepped forward, and the unicorn became restless again. 'Most peculiar,' the Professor said, 'they never respond to girls this way normally. You next,' she indicated the last Gryffindor girl, Parvati. Again, the unicorn protested.

Next the Professor tried the Slytherins. Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis were both rejected as well, and Professor scratched her head. Only Millicent Bulstrode and Pansy Parkinson were at the front, and she could not work like that.

'My apologies class, something is wrong here and I cannot tell what. Let's skip the unicorn for today, and instead go look at the Abraxans.' She stepped out of the paddock, and lead the class back to the stables.

'Harry, you coming mate?' called Ron back, as Harry lingered near the gate, all the girls except Millicent and Pansy around him.

'Nah you go on mate, I got something in my shoe,' Harry said. Ron walked on, talking with Seamus.

Harry and the girls appeared at the stables a little later, his hair and clothes ruffled, and a slap visible on his face. The girls were still glaring at him. 'Don't ask mate, girls are mental,' he answered Ron's raised eyebrow, as they listened to the lecture.

'Albus, I cannot work under these circumstances,' Wilhelmina complained to the Headmaster later that Monday. 'I had the combined Gryffindor and Slytherin class before lunch, and the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws after it. Out of all 16 girls, only two were accepted by the unicorn! I know your savage caught it, are you sure that is a normal unicorn?'

Dumbledore stroked his beard, 'Professor Hagrid can be a little rough, but he is no savage. Do not believe Rita Skeeter's lies Wilhelmina,' he answered. 'I am certain he found a normal unicorn, you'll be able to confirm this tomorrow, won't you?'

Wilhelmina sighed, 'I have the seventh-years tomorrow Albus. You know as well as I do that that won't work out.'

'I see, I see,' Albus didn't see, but stalled for time. 'Wednesday then. You have the third-years, correct?'

'Yes Albus,' Wilhelmina confirmed, 'okay then. I'll test again Wednesday, but if the anomaly continues, I want a new unicorn or I am not teaching the class!'

Tuesday morning Ron noticed the girls were happy with his mate again, which made him happy as well. Being so close to the target of their ire was not his idea of a good time. He wondered where Harry was in the morning when he woke up, though, and confronted his friend at breakfast.

'Oh Ron, I found a different sleeping place for now. With the egg being so loud and its screeches you see, I didn't want to interrupt your sleep,' Harry replied. Hermione padded him on the back of his hand when he answered that, and went back to feeding him, together with Susan Bones from Hufflepuff, who had inexplicably taken seat on Harry's other side today, moving Ron over to the other side. But girls were mental, so no need to discuss that.

Wednesday morning it was the Patil twins sitting next to and feeding Harry, 'Erm Harry, what is with the girls?' Ron asked, with the girls in question sitting next to Harry. They shot him evil glares, and Harry shrugged, 'they're just being friendly Ron. No rule against that innit?'

Wilhelmina was upset, and she let Dumbledore know this. 'I want a new unicorn Albus! I have two months of unicorn studies planned for all years, but none of the girls with the exception of two Slytherin fourth years, and one Slytherin sixth year, will be allowed near the one I currenlty have! How can you expect me to teach a class when the creature in question is not behaving?'

Albus stroked his beard, five-hundred and twenty, five-hundred and twenty-one, five-hundred –

'Albus!' Wilhelmina screeched, and Dumbledore cursed under his breath as he lost count.

'Very well Wilhelmina, I will have a new unicorn caught. It will be ready next Monday. Maybe you can discuss another creature in the mean time, won't that be more fair to the boys?'

'Albus, I took this filler job on one condition, you let me teach the class my way,' Wilhelmina put her foot down.

Ron noticed the duo of girls that insisted on feeding Harry alternated each meal, with all the witches from third-year and up included, excepting Parkinson, Bullstrode, and Camilla Bletchley, a sixth-year Slytherin. If a Slytherin was involved, they even ignored Malfoy's taunting, or in the case of a Slytherin/Hufflepuff seventh-year duo, actually forced Malfoy to shut up!

Professors McGonagall and Snape tried to stop the ritual from happening as well, but Hermione Granger, supported by the Head Girl, pointed out that there was no rule against sitting at another's table, or one or more students feeding another.

And Harry just smiled, not caring at all. Girls were mental, Ron thought, and it must be contagious, for his best mate had also caught insanity.

The fresh unicorn had the same symptons, and an annoyed Professor Grubbly-Plank left the school again. Dumbledore convinced Hagrid to start teaching again, with some help from Harry, Hermione, and Ron, and Ron thought all was well again, only the girls kept acting weird.

'Good to have you back teaching Rubeus,' Dumbledore told the Half-Giant as they were up in his office.

'Ain' a problem sir,' Hagrid sheepishly replied, 'I'm jus gla' to get a chance ta return.'

'Hogwarts will always have a place for you my boy,' Albus nodded. 'Now maybe you can shed some light on the mysterious behaviour of the unicorns? Professor Grubbly-Plank was unable to find a single speciment that allowed girls near it.'

'Ah tha's simple Headmaster,' Hagrid replied with a grin. 'They's proud beasts y'know, and only accept th' touch a' virgin, or married wimmin.'

Albus nodded, that confirmed what he knew, 'and why else would a unicorn reject someone, if not unvirgin or male?'

'Well if ya gone hurt one o' dem, dey stay away from ye, 'Hagrid replied.

'That can't be it,' Alnus shook his head. So it either thinks the girl hurt it, or thinks they are not virgins? All of them? Preposterous,' he added.

'I know da Headmaster,' Hagrid confirmed, 'tha' cannae be it.'

Up in the Room of Requirement, Harry laid snuggling with the latest batch, Cho Chang, and Luna Lovegood. He had no idea what the mechanics were behind which girls got selected, but every morning two girls would be assigned to him somehow, apparently at random from the entire Hogwarts populace which was female and a third-year or higher, and not one of the three blacklisted ones. Then before dinner the next group was rotated in, only to be swapped again the next morning.

Speaking of which (or witch), there was Hermione with her whistle. She blew it, and Cho and Luna extricated themselves from Harry, planting kisses on his face before they got out.

'Marietta, Lavender, you're up,' Hermione told the two, and Marietta Edgecomb from Ravenclaw and Lavender Brown from his own house squeeed with joy. Hermione handed Harry a Pepper-Up Potion, then gave him her time-turner she had kept since last year, and Harry jumped back three hours with the two lucky girls.

Harry thanked the gods, whoever they were, for giving him the power to shoot chocolate flavour from there, a chocolate that tasted perfectly but had 0% fat.

He had accidentally let this slip during his dance with Parvati, and with judicious time turned jumping and the magic of the Pepper-Up Potion, had managed to prove this to the entire female student roster third-year and up, and even to Professor Aurora Sinistra, that very Ball night.

No wonder Professor Grubbly-Plank couldn't find a unicorn that worked out, he grinned, as he leant back and enjoyed himself. And the only negative outcome thus far was one day of anger from the girls, as they were deprived the opportunity to see a unicorn up close... win, as far as Harry was concerned.