A/N Here's a super-long chapter, where I'm finally getting the main story going. Tell me how I did in a review and bear in mind that I do not own MLP. Brace yourselves, guys.
Chapter 12: Shit Gets Real (or alternatively, A Chapter in a Human Fanfiction)
"Ok, just lay it on me, then." I said. "I will. You are, no doubt, aware of the nature of the portal that brought you here?" Celestia asked. "Yeah. Duh." I said. "Well, you may have noticed that the school where you found the portal looks nothing like the Canterlot High that Twilight told me about. This is curious, seeing as we originally thought that there was but one portal between worlds. In fact, there are 14." Celestia explained. "Wat?" I said blankly. "You heard me, 14 portals, scattered across the human world." She said. "So, there's not one portal, but 14?" I asked incredulously. "Yeah, that's what I just said. Are you listening?" Celestia asked. Ok, mindfuck in progress. So, 14 portals all around my world…weird. "Are you!?" She asked again. "Wha- oh, yeah. Of course." I said. "He is not giving you his full attention." Luna said to her sister. Ugh, if she wasn't best princess I would kick her in the throat. That fucking mind reading is annoying as hell. "Well I believe you can deal with it." Luna addressed me. Oh shit. "My apologies, Princess." I said. "I am in no way offended. I, however, must apologize for reading your mind when it wasn't necessary." She said. "Oh, uh… I forgive you, Princess." I said cautiously. "If we can return to the matter at hand," Celestia said, "the reason we need you is because helpless humans are wandering into Equestria." "Is that bad? Cuz I love it here." I said. "Yeah, it is bad. You are the exception to the rule, as it happens. But we'll get to that later. It is bad because when a human meets his or her pony counterpart, the shock of the experience fries their brains. They both either die or become vegetables." She said. "Well shit. But you still haven't told me why I'm important!" I said impatiently. "By Starswirl's beard, calm down. I'm getting to that." She said. Finally. I glanced furtively at Luna. Nothing. "Now, I'm about to drop a lot on you, brace yourself." Wait, what? "What do you mean?" I asked. "I mean, you are unique." She said. "And by that you mean…?" I asked. "You are the only pony without a human counterpart." She replied ominously. Ooookay. Wait what? "Don't you mean the only human without a pony counterpart?" I asked slowly. The princesses looked at me softly. I think Luna had a tear in her eye. "What the hell are you looking at me like that for?" I asked. "No, Zack, I meant what I said. You are a pony from birth." She said. My brain then took a second to explode. "Wait, you mean that…I'm not human…?" I said as I teared up. Luna nodded. "Oh God, or… oh Celestia…I can't even…" I managed to say before breaking down and collapsing on the ground, or cloud stuff, or whatever the fuck it was. After a few seconds, I had a thought. "Wait…prove it." I said. There's no way I'm actually a pony, I would've remembered. Celestia gestured towards one of the screen-things. On it was an image of a tiny, light green foal with a patch of brown hair on its head. The foal was being held by a middle-aged-looking mare with a forest green coat and a blonde mane. I instantly felt attracted to her. Not sexually, but emotionally. I felt like she was the center of my world…like she was my…mom. Oh God, no…no no no no no. No no no! NO! This isn't happening…this can't be real.I can't… The mare onscreen began to speak, "You'll be called Sacrifice. Because that's what you are and what you'll always be." Suddenly, two burly stallions burst into frame and took the foal, leaving the mare on the ground, sobbing. What? I don't… "What was that?" I asked. Luna looked at me and said, "It was your birth, Sacrifice." Wait…Sacri-fice… my human name is Zachary Fixe (FY-cks), it all makes sense now…wait, no it doesn't. "Why was I a sacrifice? Why did I have to go to the human world? Who were those stallions working for? And, where's my dad?" I asked rapidly. "Here let's rewind a bit," Celestia said, "your mother was a prostitute when she met your dad. He hired her, she did her thing, but your dad came back, night after night. It wasn't only sex that he wanted, he wanted companionship. He would hire her just to talk. Eventually, your mom, her name was Sparkle Dance, gave up her job and married your dad, Green Grass. Unfortunately, Green Grass became unemployed a few days after your conception. He worked at a lab in Manehattan where they tested spells used for inter-dimensional travel. They created the mirror. They wanted a test subject and found one, you. Your parents needed the money, they could barely support themselves, let alone you. You were tossed through after they charmed you to read life signs and such. They saw that it worked, and abandoned you. You were found by Elora Fixe and she raised you. The reason you don't have a doppelganger is because you went through the portal so early, whatever force that governs the mirrors didn't have time to see if there was two of you, so it just saw you in two worlds and that was good enough." She finished with a sigh. "Ok, I just have one more question. What do I have to do?" I asked. "Close the portals. You are the only one who can do the spell to close them." She said. "Cool, sounds easy enough, 14 portals across the human world, close 'em up and everything's hunky-dory." I said cooly, while I was crying and huddled in the fetal position inside. "I sure hope it is." Celestia said. "Oh and, good morning." Luna added.
I woke in my room in Sugarcube Corner, sunlight streamed in the window and I could hear the Mane 6 talking down the hall. And so our story begins.