Chapter 12: A Deed Without a Name
Elphaba's sorrow came from the depths of her soul. She had lost her little Nessa Rose, the first person she had ever truly loved, the only person in her family who loved her, and viewed her as a human, not a green skinned monster.
In her anger and sorrow, she continued to cry against the queen's neck, as the queen stroked her back. She had never sought comfort with anyone—it was usually something that made her feel sick—but, she trusted the queen, and, for the first time in her life, allowed herself to be held and comforted.
"Please stop crying, dear," she heard the queen say, her voice full of genuine concern and sympathy. Elphaba pulled away, wiping her tears. Crying would do no good. Crying would not bring back Nessa, and crying would not help her get the ruby red shoes back.
Elphaba heard a loud pop, and Glinda appeared in the room, long flowing blonde hair, and pink sparkly dress. The queen spun around. "You are not welcome here!" The queen's voice was filled with hatred, as much hatred as Elphaba was feeling at that moment. Her feelings toward her twin were always a mixture of resentment and anger, but, now, she felt nothing but hatred towards her.
"My business here concerns my twin!" Glinda said, addressing the queen. Elphaba's hatred seethed. She had no respect for the queen, and Elphaba couldn't control herself, rushing past the queen, and standing in front of Glinda, her anger boiling over.
"Those shoes were the last thing I have of my sister, and you gave them away!" Elphaba shouted this at her twin.
"Let me explain…" Glinda began. Explain?! What the hell does she have to explain?!
"No! You don't get to speak! There's no excuse for what you did! You never loved Nessa like I did. You don't even care that she's dead!" She was breathing hard. "You are no twin of mine," she said with as much malice as she could put into the statement.
She lashed out, her hand striking out to claw at her twin's face. She wanted to rake her nails down her face, mar her beauty, tear her flesh. She wanted to scar the beautiful skin, so that Glinda knew what it was like to feel ugly. She wanted her to feel pain, so that she knew what pain felt like, what Elphaba felt like on the inside.
Her nails were a fraction of an inch from Glinda's face, when Glinda vanished in a pink bubble. Elphaba screamed in frustration, and threw herself at her bedchamber door, clawing the wood. She kicked it, then aimed the side of her fist at the wall. Ignoring the pain in her hand, she summoned a ball of black witch fire in the palm of her hand, ready to destroy her entire room.
She was so angry that she didn't see the queen come over to her, and close her hand into a fist with her own hand, extinguishing the witch fire. Elphaba glared at a wall, panting, and felt the queen take her hands in her own.
"You've hurt yourself," the queen said, seeing Elphaba's bloodied fingertips and nails from the girl raking her nails down the wood of the door. Regina was sure she had some splinters stuck in them, too. And, Elphaba had hurt her hand from hitting the wall, though nothing felt broken. She felt Elphaba's hand twitch slightly, and could already tell that the hand would be bruised. The sight of Elphaba hurt—in more ways than one—made Regina's heart hurt.
"I don't care that I've hurt myself," Elphaba said through gritted teeth, still too angry to make proper eye contact.
"Well, I do," the queen told her. She turned Elphaba's hands, so that the palms faced up, and in each palm, placed a gentle kiss, as her magic flowed across Elphaba's palms, healing her fingers and her bruised hand. This was the first time the queen had actually used her magic to heal someone, used her magic for something good, instead of tormenting and torturing. She would always make an exception for Elphaba.
The queen examined Elphaba's hands, and was pleased with her work, though she wished, more than anything, that she could use her magic to heal Elphaba's heart. Why do I care so much? the queen thought.
"There, all better," she said, giving Elphaba's hands a gentle squeeze, attempting to smile reassuringly at the young witch. Elphaba looked down at her hands, seeing that the queen had completely healed them. Those kisses were the most tender things I've ever felt. Even my mother was never that tender.
"Thank you," Elphaba said. "Any chance you could use your magic to bring Nessa back?"
"You know magic doesn't work that way. And, even if it did, it would come with a great price."
"I would pay that price, if it brought back my Nessa Rose," Elphaba said, her composure crumbling as her tears started to fall again. The queen cupped Elphaba's face in her hand. I would never let you pay that price, even if it meant you getting your sister back. I couldn't handle it.
"I need to destroy Dorothy Gale," Elphaba decided, lifting her eyes to the queen, who was still cupping her face. "She's on her way to the Emerald City to see the Wizard of Oz, and I can't let her succeed."
"I'll help you," the queen said.
"No! I'm fully capable of doing this myself!" Elphaba said stubbornly.
"I know! I know you are. But, if I can't bring your sister back, if I can't heal your heart, at least let me help you destroy that Dorothy girl," the queen said, adding, "And then, when we succeed, we can rub it in Glinda's face." She grinned wickedly, and watched Elphaba glare at her stubbornly. She wanted to strangle her, for being so unbelievably stubborn sometimes, but knew that she loved her far too much to actually do so.
"Fine," Elphaba relented, crossing her arms. Though she was scowling, the queen still saw love and a hint of relief in her eyes. The queen caressed Elphaba's face, and for a brief moment, saw a flash of happiness in her eyes, but it quickly disappeared and was replaced by something else, something darker, something familiar.
"Elphaba," the queen began. "I understand how you feel. I lost someone I loved, once, too."
Elphaba's eyes met the queen's and she saw sadness and pain, the same thing she was feeling on the inside. Not knowing how to properly show affection, or even how to comfort someone, she did the only thing she could think of: she stepped forward, and rested her forehead on the queen's shoulder, slowly reaching her hands up to gently grasp the queen's arms, Elphaba's version of a hug.
The queen couldn't help but smile, despite her pain. She reached up, and slowly stroked Elphaba's hair.
"I'm tired," Elphaba told her, her forehead still on the queen's shoulder. "But, I need to plan Dorothy's destruction."
"You should rest first," the queen said into Elphaba's hair. "And then, once you're rested, you can start planning how to destroy Dorothy. You've had a very long day, dear."
Elphaba lifted her head from the queen's shoulder, and nodded. She let the queen guide her over to her bed, and laid down on top of the bedspread, Nox jumping up onto the bed, and curling up next to her, his head tucked under her chin. She closed her eyes, which were still burning from her tears and her anger, and felt the queen sit down on the edge of the bed. She felt the queen gently stroke her hair, and between the queen's fingers moving soothingly over her hair, and Nox's purring, Elphaba drifted slowly off to sleep.
The queen watched Elphaba's eyes close, and her scowl soften, though her hands remained closed into fists, as though Elphaba was ready for a fight, even in her sleep. The queen felt a hint of warmth creep into her heart as she watched the young witch sleep, and hoped that she would never lose her, hoped that Elphaba would never leave her.
"Sleep peacefully, little witch," she quietly told her, as she gently placed a kiss on her temple.
(Author's Note: Chapter 12, yay! I finally have the time to post it, since it's the weekend, and I don't have tons of homework, for once. I really loved writing this chapter. Its a side of the Wicked Witch that you don't get to see in "The Wizard of Oz" or even in "Wicked." You also don't get to see this side of the Evil Queen, on the show. So, because of that, I loved writing this chapter. And, I hope you loved reading it! As always, review and review. Happy reading!)
(P.S. This is sort of off topic, but I'm dressing as the Evil Queen for Halloween! I'm so excited. I found the perfect costume from the Pyramid Collection's online catalog, and my mom ordered it for me, as sort of an early birthday present, which I really wasn't expecting. So, yeah, I get to be the Evil Queen for Halloween! Yay!)