Sky Ball

XII. Lie to Me

The final day of training camp.

It was a day that came faster than anticipated, and even just waking up in the morning let me know that I was going to instinctively miss it. I was going to miss waking up with Yachi and Shimizu.

But of course, I wasn't all that sentimental after getting two hours of sleep, so at the breakfast table I was already nodding off without even touching my eggs.

"Erm, Aozora-san? Are you awake?" Azumane asked.

I forced a smile and looked up at him, still resting my head against my hand. "Yep, just tired. Finish up, though. Your match is against Fukurodani, so you—" I yawned and tried to cover my mouth while doing so. "You need the energy."

My limbs were sore and I was sleep deprived.

"You sure you're good?" Nishinoya asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Ohoho, you know you can sleep on Noya-san's shoulder if you get too tired—" Tanaka chimed in. His tone was as excited as usual, but came out in barely a whisper.

"Ryuu, shut up." Nishinoya said, blush rising yet again. He seemed to keep a bit of distance from me after that, I noticed.

The breakfast continued, and it was quite nice to see everyone getting along as they were supposed to; even if 'getting along' meant shouting and threatening and teasing each other.

Ah, yes. What it meant to be a team.

They talked on for a while longer before Takeda-sensei mentioned something that I had to pay attention to. "Um, Aozora-san, you're in charge of cleanup today, I believe. Are you going to be alright?"

Since I hadn't been cooking this morning, I was in charge of the dishes while everyone was out on their run. There wasn't that much to do, gratefully. Half asleep, I murmured out, "Yeah."

Everyone began piling up dishes by the sink and filing out of the room. It was at that point I decided to close my eyes for a minute.

I had set myself up for it in a way.

If I close my eyes, I'd just be resting them. It's pretty hard to fall asleep while sitting, anyway, and I'm not that tired. I assured myself.

It was after being lulled into that false sense of security that I drifted off into dreamland.

The dream ended before it could really form much of anything. It was the kind of dream that was easily forgotten when I woke up, and it probably didn't mean anything.

The forgotten dream was the least of my worries after I figured out that I had actually fallen asleep. And while time should've been my main priority, I was more startled by the boy behind me, who looked like he was taking pictures of my sleeping form, with his phone camera pointed near me. When he noticed that I was awake, he was so startled that he didn't move his device. He just stared, and although he didn't show any emotion on his face, I could tell that he was mortified based off of his eyes and the sweat trickling down his neck.

"Kenma-kun?" I asked, rubbing my eyes slightly.

His response was almost immediate. "It's not what it looks like."

"Well." I coughed slightly in order to relieve some of the tension in the room, but he was so on edge that it just seemed to startle him more. "Care to explain?"

He couldn't know how to read me, so he wasn't able to hear the tone behind my voice. Was it irritation? Laid-back?

He didn't speak for a bit, which made me suspicious. I didn't believe for a second that Kenma was 'sneaking pictures' of me, no matter what the situation would be, but I couldn't imagine what it could be for until he finally spit it out.

"Pokemon Go." He uttered. His fear didn't show in his voice. He sounded as nonchalant as ever. It was just from experience that I knew how embarrassing it could've been, and seeing him in this predicament was…

Hilarious.

I began to laugh. It was rude, in a way. Kenma immediately changed from stoic to a frown on instinct. He sat down on the chair while I was erupting in laughter.

"Wh-haha, which Pokémon did you risk your dignity to catch?" I asked. Even after I asked it, it just seemed to grow funnier.

"…A Kamonegi*." He said. Although I couldn't see it when he was further away, upon closer inspection, his ears were bright pink, his eyes seemed slightly wider than usual, and he was pressing his mouth in a thin line. The sight made me laugh even harder.

"The Asia-only exclusive Pokémon, right? But it's rare, even here." I explained, and that finally seemed to put him more at ease, as I expected. He didn't reply, and my laughter finally calmed.

Then the whole time thing finally caught up with my thoughts, and I inwardly screamed. "Erm, actually… Kenma-kun, how long has it been?"

"Karasuno's been on their run with and Nekoma for about fifteen minutes, so they'll be coming back soon and playing with Fukurodani." He explained, thoroughly and precisely.

Fifteen minutes.

I looked at the pile of dishes. It may have just been me, but they seemed much bigger than I originally thought. I immediately rolled up my sleeves and started to wash them.

"Those bruises…" Kenma pointed out. "…Don't they hurt?"

I put another dish on the rack to dry. "It's not that they don't hurt, but…"

I turned to face him seriously for a moment. My face wasn't neutral. Something could be detected in it. It wasn't a smile, but it wasn't a frown either. It was a stare with those cold eyes that reflected something that almost seemed like pride.

"I don't hate the pain, though."

Kenma realized that even I could seem threatening sometimes, and he looked back at me the same way that he'd look at Hinata when he was serious.

Those few seconds passed, and he recovered as he figured out a response. "I do."

I turned back to doing dishes, absentmindedly speaking to him while scrubbing grease and oil off of porcelain. "I thought so too. Really similar, until recently. I think it was Nish—"

I froze. I didn't want to imply anything between me and Nishinoya, so I quickly corrected myself. "I think it was Kuroo and the others who got me used to it, though."

Kenma paused for a second, as noted by the sounds of his phone halting. "Do you… like Kuro?"

"Huh?"

"I was just thinking that it's probably best to ask you directly. It's safer than assuming, even if you're going to lie." He replied.

This was the second time recently that someone asked me about my interest in boys, I realized, but the feeling this time was completely different.

"Nah, Kuroo-san is way too pesky and annoying for my tastes." I replied, figuring that something more sarcastic would've been to Kenma's comfort.

All that I got in response was a look that clearly said, I know, right?

"What brought it up, anyway?" I asked.

He sighed. "I didn't really think that you two liked each other, but the guys were talking about it last night."

"Really? I didn't think that would be enough to strike up your interest. Kuroo-san seems rather popular, so it can't be his first accusation, right?" I inquired. I couldn't be the first girl he's bothered to talk to.

"Yeah. When Kuro finds someone interesting, it's not like he cares about gender. He's annoying in that way." Kenma claimed, clearly implying personal experiences. "It's just that when the team asked him if he liked you, he said 'no'."

"Doesn't 'no' mean that he doesn't like me?"

Kenma seemed more hesitant to talk about it, almost like he regretted asking me in the first place when he already knew the answer to everything. "Well… yeah. It's just that normally he says something suspicious like 'who knows' or compliments them, like 'well, she's definitely cute'. He doesn't usually deny it."

"Why do you think he denied it?"

His response was so fast that he almost cut me off. "I don't know."

It didn't sound as though there was a secret he wanted to keep, he just seemed to want to end the topic as soon as possible since he'd made the mistake of bringing up. I was genuinely curious, however, and pressed on. The water tap shut off as I placed the last dish in the dish rack.

"But you do know, don't you?" My voice came out with icy undertones. Kenma wasn't caught off guard after my seriousness earlier, but I saw him turn towards me out of the corner of my eye. He looked at me with his intrigued, cat-like eyes.

"… It's probably because Kuro knew that it was a time where he could've actually liked the person." Came Kenma's response, as dull as ever.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I was worried I was pushing the question limit, as indicated by Kenma's frown, but this was somewhat important.

"Usually when Kuroo is interested by someone, it's not someone who he gets along with all that well. You are, so it's suspicious sometimes, and so he denied it so that nobody would get confused this time."

I nodded and sat back down on the chair. "That just makes him look more suspicious, unlike his intentions, though."

As I sat down, Kenma caught sight of my bruised arms again. Whether it was out of genuine concern or eagerness to change the topic, he said, "You should be more careful."

I glanced back down to my bruises, and closed my eyes. He had a point. "You already said something like that earlier. Are you really that eager to change the conversation? You're jumping the gun a little."

He frowned and refused to look back. "You're just like Kuro."

I laughed a little at his comparison. "Really? Because Kuroo-san says that I'm remarkably like you."

"Oh." Kenma said, as casual as ever. After a few seconds, though, he looked away from his phone with a slight frown. "Oh. So he wanted you to learn how to set because… oh."

Even without an elaboration, I could understand what he was trying to say. Kuroo had originally thought that with my preference to avoid pain and insightful analytic skills, I would make a Kenma-like setter. Just recently, he had ultimately decided that although Kenma and I shared similar traits in both opinion of play and skill, my specialties lay in different areas.

"Kuro's really…"

"Meddlesome." He started the sentence, and I joined in to finish it. We stared at each other for a few moments. Both of us had a deadpanned expression of silent agreement, but I smiled internally.

Then I reflected back on my actions and realized how strange I was being. How I was serious twice, which was stupid already, and how I had been talking to him and I laughed at his mistake of taking a picture of me which was really insensitive and now I was calling him out for no reason and if we were really similar then he would hate it as just as I did—

"I'm being such a jerk." I spoke suddenly.

His eyebrows lowered and he nearly frowned to signify a mixture of confusion and curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, when you think about it, I laughed even from the beginning when you came into the room off of a mistake that undoubtedly embarrassed you! I know I was tired, but I should've just pretended to be asleep or something." I started.

"Uh, that's fi—"

"And then it seemed like I was trying to convince you pain was a good thing, but it's really not and it's a good thing you're not, like, masochistic or whatever because that'd be really weird. Then I called your best friend annoying and… to be honest? I don't find him that annoying? I just pretend to for the sake of comedy and it's really dumb and offensive I think…"

"No, I think so t—"

"After that I kept asking weird questions about Kuroo-san too, but I knew it made you uncomfortable. To top things off, I called you out and straight-up compared myself to you, and I'm interrupting you!" I said, sitting up suddenly. My face was red with embarrassment, and I did my best to hide it in the palm of my hands. Hanging out with Kuroo and his laid-back attitude had finally shown it's repercussions as it imprinted itself on me.

No sorrys would be worth anything, and he'd judge me for that kind of rude character even though Iknew that he preferred a happy-go-lucky kind of person like Hinata.

I looked up to see him frowning. His eyes had the same glint of frustration I had whenever there was an unsolvable math problem; it was impossible to understand. But what was he thinking that about? I was about to ask before I remembered to watch my words and to stop asking questions.

Luckily, I didn't have to. He turned back to his phone yet again, and I could see the glare of the screen reflect off of his aqueous humor. "You're hard to read."

"Sorry." I knew that I was throwing him off by acting so meek, which completely threw off the other five-or-so personality types I'd shown him, but I had already messed up.

"No, it's nothing like that." He looked up at me. His hair blew in the wind and I froze.

It was the barest glint of a smile. The 'neko' of his school name* really began to show in his widened eyes. It was a mixture of a lot of things. A love for interest. Intrigue. Curiosity. Excitement.

And unlike me, he didn't apologize for it.

It was at that moment where it dawned on me that Kuroo found Kenma interesting for a reason. This had to undoubtedly be one of them.

Because I was intrigued, but felt a tad more intimidated.

Just then, I heard chatter outside the door. It broke the ice in the room quickly as both of us turned to the noise.

"Ah, looks like Karasuno's back, so we'll be starting the match soon." Kenma stood up, attention lingering on his phone for a few more seconds before starting to leave. Moments before he did, he looked back in the doorway and faced me.

"See you later, Sora." He said, using the two-character* nickname that he used for anyone he was friends with. It seemed lackadaisical, as though he couldn't be inclined to speak more than two syllables for his friends. It seemed bordering on disrespectful, but I knew what he was trying to say.

He had been trying to tell me, I think we'd be good friends. In his own Kenma way.

"Later…" I said, waving after him before preparing for Karasuno's match against Fukurodani.

I had to take a double-take at my notes while I watched the game. I switched views back and forth between the court and my notes.

In my notes, I made predictions for rates of growth and best tactics, but they all seemed useless in comparison to what I was seeing.

Although I had estimated that there would certainly be some discrepancies with my predictions and the results, I didn't think that Karasuno would be able to multiply their power in such a short amount of time.

Yachi sat next to me, clinging onto the metal bar in front of her as though she couldn't see Karasuno's wonder behind it. Her eyes almost glittered. She seemed to be rendered speechless, aside from her occasional "Wow…!"

The one thing that struck me the most was Nishinoya's toss.

As of volleyball, it was a rule that the libero could not score a single point. Not by a block, not by a chance ball, not by spiking.

But Nishinoya had finally realized that he was not limited to tossing.

It gave off an odd sound that did not resemble Sugawara's or Kageyama's usual tosses. Instead, I could recognize the sounds of a flam, but the referee didn't mention it.

His toss, to put it blatantly, was pretty bad. But that wasn't important. Neither was Nishinoya's frustrated yell as he sank to his knees while screaming of imperfections.

I looked at his frustrated form. My gaze darted over to Yachi, who still looked at the court with ever-adoring eyes.

It wasn't anything stupid. I didn't think of anything like, 'it was as though everyone's feelings flowed into me'. Even if I compared real life to a storybook, this wouldn't me a melodrama.

In reality, all of it was simple. I had watched their plays the same way I had every other day, but it was only on the last day of training camp that I finally began noticing the little things.

I had noticed the way Nishinoya had grinned after failing, as though he accepted his faults and wanted to fix them as soon as possible. Tsukishima seemed to be putting more effort into volleyball after those days with Kuroo and Bokuto, which made me wonder just how inspiring those two in particular really were, behind the scenes.

But it wasn't just those who were closely entwined with me, either. Kageyama was smiling much more frequently. Whenever he set up for an amazing spike, or when he managed to do some 'genius setter' play, not even his small grin and fist-bump escaped my vision. Azumane was a loud shouter when he wanted to be, and although he wasn't the type to like the spotlight all that much, not even he would resist in joining during team cheers. Tanaka would do the same weird jig (as always) with Nishinoya, one knee down like a loyal knight while pumping his fists at one-hundred and twenty beats per second.

I overheard once that Hinata had been inspired by the Small Giant because it was something he could relate to, and that's what had him become a volleyball addict.

But for me, it was this.

Seeing everyone—the crowd (Yachi in this case), the team, the opponents, and even the coaches—all enjoying themselves in a search for some sort of self-improvement, knowing that it wasn't a lifetime dedication but something just as important in the moment. Smiles. Challenges.

That's what got me hooked on volleyball.

For a brief second, I heard my former senpai speak. It was a callback to when he had tried to convince me to attend his high school. His voice was just as salient and resolute as always, even as a flashback.

"I believe that Shiratorizawa would present a challenge for you."

And although I had agreed, I hadn't sought for the opportunity to go. I was content in being a big bird in a small sky.

But it wasn't like that anymore.

I looked at the court, leaning on the bar in front of me as I smiled fondly at it. The pleased expression even surprised Yachi.

Although I was filled with the sense of obligation to do… something, I couldn't figure out what to do.

As soon as the thought came to me, I mustered up all my courage, shoved my feelings of nervousness down my throat as I always did while putting on a random façade, and shouted.

"Go, Karasuno!"

It wasn't particularly loud. It didn't have nearly the same volume as when Nishinoya and Tanaka screamed in unison after Karasuno scored a special point. It was loud enough for the gym to hear, and that was it.

But it was enough for Sugawara to smile, most of the team to nod, Tsukishima to send me a weird look, and Nishinoya to look over at me, surprised.

Yachi chimed in. Because she had joined recently and wasn't aware that I had been someone more reserved, especially in terms of cheering, she cheered, "Yeah, go Karasuno!"

I laughed. It served as a distraction, and it took a blow of the referee's whistle to signal that it was both okay for the opposing team to serve and for Nishinoya to get back into position.

Out of anyone, I couldn't fathom why Nishinoya was always so intrigued by my shenanigans. In comparison to anyone, especially Shimizu or Azumane (both of whom he may or may not have had a crush on), I was dull.

My name may have indicated an association with the sky*, but by no means was it beautiful or clear. My eyes weren't a brilliant pale blue or clear*. They moreso resembled gray clouds that fell on days where I would much rather stay inside. My hair wasn't a shimmering gold, like the morning sun*, but black. At the very least, I supposed that with the amount of visible dandruff I had, the clumps of dirt imitated stars in a night sky.

Bringing me out of my thoughts was a call by someone completely unrelated to my contemplations, as Bokuto shouted, "Traitor!" In response to my cheers.

"Isn't it more unloyal to cheer for you guys?" Tsukishima mentioned, causing Bokuto to 'ohhhhh', and shortly after, "but still!"

But it was also that kind of friendly exchange that I loved too, very much, and I couldn't help but forget my worries as I, for the very first time, beamed at the team.

I was not informed about the barbecue after, but when I had heard the coach end his motivational(ish) rant with a, "so let's eat!", the teams' sudden burst of morale began to click into place.

Either way, it lead to the group barbecue after everyone's final game. The girls huddled together while the boys spoke to each other. The gender separation was obvious.

I felt that I couldn't speak with the girls. They all seemed prettier in a group, (was that even possible?), and their fleeting chatter sounded almost melodic. Group at perfect intervals, light voices at a beautiful pitch, like a musical ensemble that played across the boys' heartstrings. Nishinoya, Tanaka, and Yamamoto all seemed to bask in their voices, and even felt the need to protect them.

So I felt that if I did walk over to the girls, the entire situation would've become awkward. I was an outsider. Their consonant melody would've had a single instrument out of key. Ruining their beautiful piece, all because of a single disjunct instrument.

But at the same time, it wasn't as though I could just waltz over to the boys and speak with Nishinoya, Kenma, or even Kuroo. The gender gap existed for a reason, and I didn't want to risk my reputation for my mere self-comfort. Nekoma's team was apparently already analyzing my relationship with Kuroo; I didn't need them thinking that I was a flighty and flirty female either, who would casually go from guy to guy in a cheap attempt to woo them. Although they didn't sound like the type to judge like that based off of Kuroo and Kenma's descriptions, I couldn't rule out the possibility.

Oh. And speaking with the teachers was out of the question. As 'mature' and 'responsible' as I was praised (or rather, rumored) to be, even from a young age, engaging in useless chatter with adults didn't exactly appeal to me.

And although I had basically accepted my position, metaphorically perched upon a telephone pole, a familiar person walked near me and sat directly next to me, but gave me proper sitting room. I watched his profile, and identified his untidy black hair and grey eyes—realizing just how similar it was to my own—and remembered the days he would practice in the gym alongside his troublesome (yet endearing, in a way) salt-and-pepper haired ace, Bokuto. I couldn't recall asking for his name, but I did remember all of Bokuto's screams, so I knew his name went something along the lines of 'AKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHI'.

At first, I was extremely surprised by his appearance. With all of the people surprising me, I half-thought that he was going to converse with me or want to get to know me more.

It took a few seconds before I realized how self-absorbed and childish the thought was, even just to entertain.

He had probably—no, assuredly—sat to get away from the commotion. The loud wooping and hollering of his passionate and doting ace. Just for a few minutes. After all, I had claimed the only bench where no one bothered to sit at.

I wanted to get to know him, too, but couldn't bring myself to say anything. Although it was possible he wouldn't mind speaking to one person, it was also plausible that he wouldn't want to talk at all. I could see him as the type of person who'd sit out for a few minutes as the volume peaked, and came back when it settled down for a bit. Especially if it was me in his situation.

And I was proven right. A few minutes after the setter had finished his food, he walked back towards the hullabaloo, leaving me alone again.

Not everything revolved around me. That was fine. Not everyone was going to talk to me. I had painfully accepted that long ago; long before I could remember.

While quietly eating my own food, I could descry bits and pieces of conversations.

Nishinoya was explaining why Shimizu was so amazing. He described every small detail to his 'students', who worshipped him based off of his slap from Shimizu. Or as I believed, they glorified him for minor harassment.

Tsukishima was explaining why they called Nishinoya 'master' to Yamaguchi. His voice was an amalgamation of disgust, disappointment, and confusion over the topic.

Kuroo was speaking to Hinata and talking about Ushiwaka, which was what ultimately caught my attention as I took a double-take.

Even at my old school, Ushijima's brilliance had never been shadowed, but to think that word of him would follow me into high school even after we had stopped communicating was unprecedented.

I was listening to Kuroo's conversation, but watched as Nishinoya took a break from his little 'Save Shimizu Squad' to walk over to me.

"Hey, Tori-san. What's up?" He asked, sitting where Fukurodani's setter had sat just recently.

"Nothing. I just realized how popular Ushijima-senp—san is in volleyball."

I realized my slip-up the minute I said it. Both my eyes and Nishinoya's eyes widened. His mouth dropped wide open, already preparing for his gesticulations. Evidently, it seemed as though he had noticed my mistake too.

"You were about to call him '-senpai'! Tori-san, do you know Ushiwaka?!" He re-stated. The party was already loud, as expected from such a large group, so it wasn't as though everyone turned their heads. It was enough to attract the attention of whom we had a personal connection with: Kuroo, Kenma, Tanaka, Azumane, Tsukishima and Yamamoto. A handful of people.

At first, my brain wracked for a lie. Something that used to come so easy to me, but I couldn't come up with one on the fly. I hadn't rehearsed any lines. I was just a naïve little girl who hadn't planned out what would happen if my lies were called out…

That's a lie. Am I really attempting self-deceit? You can make a lie if you want to. It matters if they find out here. No need to play the weak heroine that wants attention.

Just as the thought/(reminder) crossed my mind, the lie came cooly to me. But along with the smooth free pass out of the situation, I could taste something disgusting in the back of my throat. A mnemonic that I was underhanded, and that whenever I used this type of lie—one that not even Kuroo, Kenma or Nishinoya could discern on their best days—I would hate it. This was not where they were supposed to find out about Ushijima. Preferably, they'd never have to. Especially not with Hinata staring ever so intently.

It came fluidly, though. Actions and everything. Something that Nishinoya'd find in-character. I waved one hand frantically to wash away the idea. "Sorry, I slipped up! I didn't expect you to call out my occasional stutter. It's just that, you know, there are a lot of people here…"

I knew that Nishinoya was always trying to be considerate towards me, and so I decided to exploit it.

Immediately, he flushed red in embarrassment. His eyebrows knitted in confusion as he darted his eyes around while lowering his head. He gripped the wooden bench a little tighter and shouted out, "Oh, sorry! My bad!"

I laughed it off. I still had to look approachable and presentable. "Aha, it's no problem. Anyway, what's that thing with Shimizu-senpai?" I asked, nodding over to Shimizu who sat daintily with the girls while Yamamoto and Tanaka turned away from Nishinoya's outburst to return to their obligation as Shimizu's body guard; gazes lowered and threatening, giving off the territorial glare from a predator's eye.

"… Oh, right." A pause settled for a second, and only background chatter and the sound of meat against a grill could be heard. Then, breaking out of the silence, Nishinoya's blank and thoughtful expression changed completely. Within a fraction of a second, a large smile spread across his face. Unlike usual, his eyes were open; not closed in his typical bravado act. It was almost as though he was intently watching my reaction. "We're just protecting our lovely Kiyoko-san!"

I scanned him for a second. I tried to figure out his problem without the need to ask, but couldn't understand what he was trying to hide, and what his motives would be for hiding it. I didn't want to pry too much, but my curiosity wouldn't let me drop the topic completely, so I spoke up. "Is something wrong?"

"Wha—" Nishinoya started, but faltered. All of a sudden, his expression switched yet again. "Well. I mean."

I raised an eyebrow to tell him to elaborate.

"Like, I say, 'our lovely Kiyoko-san', but I'm not… I'm…" Oddly enough, he turned away from me and ran his fingers through his hair at such an angle that his arm and elbow covered his face and any discernible expression. "Like, I'm not saying that you're not lovely or cute or adorable or whatever. You are, kinda..."

He trailed off, growing quiet all of a sudden as I could feel my face heat up. I searched for a reply—thank you? Should I have retorted, like a tsukkomi to his boke*? I was at a complete loss, before he cleared this up by continuing. Where was this even coming from?

"Oh! A-And so is Yachi-san, and those two from Fukurodani, and… uh… girls are cute! It's just that… uh…"

I relaxed, and sighed in relief. Of course the situation wasn't pregnant with implications. It was just my misunderstandings, the same way I had curved the situation with Nishinoya long ago, when Tsukishima still implied it. I laughed. "You don't have to worry, Yuu. I already know that I'm not as cute as Shimizu-senpai." I noticed just how self-pitying that sounded, and quickly corrected myself. "Oh, but don't get me wrong. I know there are a lot of girls that I am cuter than, even if it's just personality wise. I wasn't given particularly terrible acne, and I'm not anorexic or overweight. My hair's pretty straight, and it's naturally that way. That might be a bad thing, though, since it feels less encouraging to brush, haha."

Nishinoya interrupted me. "That's still not true though," he said. "There are plenty of things that are cute about you."

"Thanks." I said. I was already aware of this social norm—if I agreed with him, I would seem conceited. If I disagreed, I'd simply seem pitying or ungrateful since I wasn't so badly off. However, his tone of voice made him sound like he was setting up for something, and I didn't want him to continue.

He shrugged. "Like, I would've basically failed Japanese without your help and even then I barely passed, so I'm not gonna go into too much detail, but…" he took a few moments to take a glance at my reddened expression, which caused him to dart his gaze away even faster.

"Your eyes are kinda nice. So is your smile. Your laugh sounds like bells—agh, no, wait, you warned me, that's such a damn cliché, my bad—but it does sound nice. Like I wouldn't mind listening to it for a while. And sometimes it's cute when I reread your texts when you're tired and you stop starting your messages with capitals and you have to correct your mistakes."

Needless to say, his boldness managed to short-circuit my brain for a few moments. I could not find any act to choose from, or any lie to say.

"But I think your personality's the best." He said, contrasting my opinion entirely. My personality? Immediately, my mind began working in its distrustful ways. He must've thought my persona was appealing. Even though I had never put on an act with him, he must've seen how I acted with someone else and thought of me as amazing based off of that…

"At first, you seem really smart and serious, but you're actually just shy. Like Kiyoko-san! But you're super different, too. You know what kind of person other people like, and so you try to make them more comfortable with you, which is really nice."

That was not what I had seen at as.

I hadn't—I hadn't even speculated that opinion. I had always thought that I was being 'a manipulative bitch that tried to get on everyone's good side', but there Nishinoya was, saying that it was a positive thing.

The worst part? I couldn't find an error.

"And I try to ignore it when you look disappointed even when it's a great thing, like coming in second in the prefecture or not returning a ball properly. You don't take any compliments either, like you're thinking 'I know myself better than you'—oh, this is kinda from experience, I guess, and it's a little hypocritical—but you don't know what I see. It's super frustrating!"

A pregnant pause settled. He seemed to be treading on a tightrope. The tension was so thick, and yet felt as though it could snap in a second and leave everything barrelling down.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm thinking for a sec." He said. He looked at me, sounding incredibly serious. His face still had lingering shades of peach from everything he had just said, but he seemed to muster all of his courage together.

And I knew what he was going to say before he mentioned anything.

But his words still came. He didn't avoid my stare. On the contrary, he stared me down—something that reminded me of a real crow: predatory. "Kotori."

"Hm? What?"

I half-hoped that he'd say, 'you've got something on your face' or even something like 'are you gonna have any more meat', but it never came.

Instead, Nishinoya spoke extremely quietly and seriously.

"What if I told you I didn't want to be friends anymore…?"

I should have interrupted him before he could say anything. I should have left. I should have done something to prevent the current situation.

At first, he started to add onto his sentence. "I don't… really want to be just your friend forever, right? So…"

Instead, he watched as my face fell faster than he could have guessed and I seemed at a loss for words.

If Nishinoya… wasn't my friend?

What had I done? Why was he saying it? How had I managed to piss off Nishinoya this much, when he was the type to even forgive someone who had gotten him suspended once…

I was speechless. I couldn't tell if it was my raw, stutter-y voice, my flabbergasted expression, or the look of pure shock that caused Nishinoya to look back at me with a start and lean in close, furrowing his eyebrows in concern. "Wait, Tori-s—"

"I guess… i-if you really didn't… want to be friends anymore, then…" I replied carefully. I wouldn't cry over something so lame, but I was still in a state of shock, only able to follow lines that seemed to fit.

"No! That's not what I—sorry!"

He took a deep breath after seeing that I hadn't calmed down much, and decided to speak in a more somber tone. "Kotori,"

I noticed that he had solely said my first name, which was unusual, but even I could not deny just how melodic it sounded. Normally, my first name was equivalent to a steamroller riding through porcelain, with metal scraping on metal, but coming from Nishinoya when he was serious, it was a sound that almost made me smile despite the terrible feeling.

Immediately, his atmosphere deflated and he settled into panic when I looked at him, his cheeks reddened and he backed away from our close proximity quickly. "L-Look! We'll be best friends forever, okay? I was kidding! Joke! Joke! Just a joke! Theatrical question!"

It was too late to turn back now anyways, I realized with a stroke of guilt. I didn't want him to feel obligated to be my friend, but it was already too late. All I knew was one thing.

I had somehow managed to get on his bad side so many times that he no longer wanted to be my friend.

I couldn't even say it wasn't deserved.

(So was it his fault? Or mine?)

"Theoretical question," I corrected. "And… yeah. It's fine."

He seemed to be preparing to say something else, and I instinctively knew that it was going to be the same kind of game-changing, important quote as just mentioned.

Before he could get out the first word, I blurted out, "Sorry, gotta go!" And hurried away from Nishinoya and away from the bench. The abrupt leave and change of tone managed to surprise the master of pace changers himself, Nishinoya, and he let me go while basking in shock.

I looked back at Nishinoya, and only Bokuto's outbursts once again brought me down to earth. I turned to see the banter as Bokuto and Kuroo tag-teamed Tsukishima in teasing, which was something well-deserved.

Tsukishima looked downright annoyed at Bokuto's harsh hand patting his back—an action that typically indicated friendliness or reassurance, and although the intention of such was evident in Bokuto's words and smiles, his pat on the back felt like individual spikes that made me feel sorry for the volleyballs that had been on the receiving end of such a hand.

"Yeah, no worries, Mr. Glasses." Kuroo emphasized the moniker to drive home the jeering.

Although my mind was elsewhere, I figured that partaking in their games would've been a decent puzzle to distract me as I formulated responses.

I found one. "Oh, c'mon. I didn't expect you to bully our darling little kouhai."

Tsukishima's expression seemed to sit on the border between 'oh-great-another-one' and the desire to retort, but both Tsukishima and I knew that the second he opened his mouth for anything other than denial, the two captains beside him would rapid-fire responses.

"… Argh! I forgot he's a junior!" Bokuto screamed, raising his head to the sky while covering his face with both his palms. "He's just tall, y'know?"

"I'm used to it, so." Kuroo said casually. He redirected his gaze towards me and raised both eyebrows before looking behind me.

I thought about what had been behind me—trees, the bench I had come from, the sky, Akaashi… although I had figured out quite a few possibilities, his gestures were still too vague to narrow anything down. I raised a single, unamused eyebrow.

He raised his eyebrows twice and quickly before grinning, and I caught on.

Oh. Nishinoya.

I had let slip a small uncomfortable look (something that I'd have to rebuke myself for later) before giving him a somewhat teasing look, telling him, wouldn't you like to know.

A bluff.

That was fine.

Even though others were usually willing to accept my sloppy cover-ups, Kuroo seemed to have the same houndlike nose and perceptiveness that Nishinoya seemed to have and I panicked a little when I saw the look on his face.

The only thing I could think was Shit, shit, shit, he knows. He knows I'm lying. It's because I slipped up.

"I'll message you later." Kuroo said, turning back towards Bokuto and Tsukishima. Both of them had noticed the silent conversation that had passed by, but hadn't an idea about the contents.

"What?/Hm?" Bokuto and Tsukishima both asked, more so out of lack of response than actual curiosity.

"Wouldn't you like to know. It's our telepathy. Speaking of telepathy, have you seen that new superhero anime?" Kuroo said. I noted his smooth, quick change in topic. The transition got full marks, especially since he was talking to Bokuto. Tsukishima seemed to remember the silent conversation, but put it aside.

I wasn't important, anyway.

I turned heel, and left the boys to talk about whatever they wanted to. It'd be their last time to speak, especially since our bus left early.

"Oh, Aozora. You weren't gonna leave without saying goodbye, were you?" Kuroo said, mock hurt in his voice.

Without turning, I said a terse 'see ya', but it was unsatisfactory for Kuroo. "You're not getting off that easy," he said, "I'll be there in a sec."

"Don't take too long," I replied sarcastically, and he grinned as he dismissed himself from teasing Tsukishima.

I waited a short distance for Kuroo to come over and nod his head in affirmation. He walked over to me shortly after.

Before he could even mutter a word, I told him what I thought. "I don't think you care that much about goodbyes, so what do you really want?"

"Awfully cruel, Aozora. Perhaps I want a tearful goodbye." He said, wiping a fake tear while wearing a smile contradictory to his statement. "Seriously though, what happened. You look bothered. Did the idiot finally confess?"

"Actually, it was more of the opposite…" I muttered, biting my bottom lip carefully and eyeing the ground.

Kuroo jumped to his own conclusion first and said, whether seriously or for comedic purposes, "Ah, no way. You confessed to him and he actually rejected you?"

"It's nothing like that!" I insisted, persistent frown on my face.

"In that case, what happened?" He asked.

I knew that Kuroo must've had far more expertise than me in this area, as much as I'd hate to admit it, but it didn't concern him as well. Somehow, I felt a sense of embarrassment at the thought of telling him the situation. If I simply dismissed it in an amiable manner, Kuroo would see it as an opening to tease me.

So I just had to lie.

Something that I'd consider important and Kuroo would consider trivial—ah.

"I wanted to learn how to play volleyball…"

A complete lie.

Kuroo laughed and rambled on about something that didn't matter, but I was drowned in my own thoughts.

It was in such a slight manner that not even Kuroo could see my apathetic stares, the changes my eyes would undergo as they lost their shine to substitute for bleakness, and how it would immediately perk back up to a fanciful glitter when he redirected his attention.

Not even Kuroo's infallible perceptiveness could detect the lie.

There was no way I'd be able to be honest, since it'd be a bother. I also began to think of it as unwise to be too frank in revealing herself to someone I barely knew, so I simply smiled and laughed at the statements that I wasn't paying attention to.

But then I remembered Nishinoya's words—I was simply accommodating others, but…

Although I had to admit that he was typically right, this case wasn't for Kuroo. It was for my own sake. No amount of flowery words would make up for it.

Luckily, to save me, I heard the Coach's whistle which dictated that time was up.

"The bus is leaving now, so I'd better be going!" I said. "I'll be sure to message you, though!"

"Are you the type that hates making calls, too, or is that fine?" He asked in his teasing tone.

"I mean, you live in Tokyo, so it can't be helped, I guess." I said in a teasingly reluctant sort of manner. He laughed, and I waved to him and left soon after.

"Well, aren't you chummy with Nekoma's captain." While finding a seat on the bus, I heard Tanaka's passive comment.

Immediately, without knowing any fact and following the sole basis of Tanaka's comment, Tsukishima looked at me with an exasperated stare and said, "You're joking."

"Obviously! Did you seriously think so?" I complained.

Tsukishima leaned back in his chair with hints of relief washing over his face. "Well. You two didn't seem like a thing, but if it was true I wouldn't be surprised."

"Yeaaaah, you'll make Noya-san jealous! Ain't that right?" Tanaka grinned, looking over to his best friend, who seemed to be deeply engaged in a conversation with Azumane.

"Huh? What?" Nishinoya asked upon hearing his name mentioned in a sentence, successfully attracting the attention of his conversation partner, Azumane, to our conversation.

"Hey, Noya-san," Tanaka asked with one of the biggest shit-eating grins his face had ever adorned, "what would you do if Aozora hooked up with that Nekoma guy?"

For a split second, he seemed surprised, as though a good, easily receivable spike had flown over his head. He didn't smile, but he simply turned away so that he wouldn't face anyone, not even Azumane beside him, and shouted, "Ah, I mean, that'd be good!"

Although I pretended not to notice his mannerisms, as eccentric as Nishinoya was, I knew that he was a rather open book. Even when he lied, others could tell.

"I'm not!" I insisted, in almost a playful manner when Nishinoya interrupted.

"They… get along well, don't they…" Nishinoya seemed to question himself more than the others.

"Wait, not you too…" I said.

Nishinoya guffawed loudly, but I noticed the expression of confusion on Azumane's face, as he was the only one who could see Nishinoya. In other words, there was a discrepancy with Nishinoya's actions and expression. But why?

The rest of the ride was relatively calm, with bits of chigger chatter from the cawing birds and Hinata and Kageyama would cause a fuss in the back of the bus.

I had waited almost the whole ride, but Nishinoya didn't sneak a single glance at me, and even seemed to prefer looking at the ground than glancing in my direction.

I remembered wanting to sit by him on the way back, but it was too presumptuous in the end.

He didn't really want to be my friend, did he.

The team arrived back at the school on Saturday at three o'clock where all team members were told to rest up from the camp. Despite the Coach's and Takeda-sensei's warnings alike, I could still hear Hinata and Kageyama making plans to practice at the nearby park.

"Tori-san," Nishinoya's voice wrung out, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked around to see him beaming with his duffel bag slung over his shoulder. The more reserved attitude he had surrounding him (for the entire bus ride, for that matter) seemed to dissipate. Or so it seemed upon first glance.

When I looked him over again, there were still things that seemed odd. He seemed to be forcing the smile, as it would lower and bounce back in small increments at a time. The air of bravado I usually got from him seemed a little off too, as his chest wasn't puffed and there seemed nothing too special about his posture.

"Would you mind if I walked you home?" He asked. He tapped his toe against the concrete, kicking an invisible rock.

"Huh? But you live in the opposite direction, and you'd have to take a bus. Doesn't that seem a little inconvenient for you? I mean—" I started anxiously, but Nishinoya laughed, successfully interrupting her

"Yeah! Yeah, whoops. Sorry! Stupid of me. Never mind then, see you!" He said. Words shot through me with bullet-like force as he walked away.

I opened my mouth for a second, but he was already out of earshot for casual conversation. Besides, it wasn't as though I could accept after telling him that it would inconvenience him because it would imply that I was willing to cause problems for him.

So I stared as he went to catch up with Azumane and the other third years, striking up a conversation within seconds. The scrapes of their shoes against concrete faded. After contemplating the situation for a few moments, looking at their fading silhouettes against the summer sun, I turned and went back home to work on homework and left.

It took a while.

My eyes snapped open at three in the morning.

"Oh, fuck." I whispered, realizing that Nishinoya had not meant that he didn't want to associate with me anymore.

EXTRA

[Nishinoya Yuu: ryuu i think i got my sorry ass rejected today]

[Aozora Kotori: Um?]

[Nishinoya Yuu: fUCK WRONG PERSON]

despite how long it took this is oddly one of my shorter chapters but oh well it's still quite a few pages

we finally see proper development in many areas

also i got a lot of messages saying that they wanted to write something with kuroo and aozora or just aozora in general and tbh feel free but credit + link me and i'm good? this story is staying a nishinoya x oc story though so.

i hope it's enjoyable

woo

FOLLOWMEONTUMBLRFOLLOWMEONTUMBLRFOLLOWMEONTUMBLR

*kamonegi - farfetch'd

*NEKO MEANS CAT X10214381

*kenma is literally so lazy that he cannot be inclined to use more than two characters for anyone's name. even kuroo, where he says 'kuro'. it's one o. he can't even be bothered to say one 'o' are you kidding

*most of the sky puns with morning sun and everything are explained in earlier chapters, but there's a little more symbolism here if you look into it

*tsukkomi and boke
tsukkomi - straight man
boke - idiot
used in a comedy act, where the idiot says something stupid and the 'straight man' makes the idiocy evident

hooo boy it's finally done i haven't given up i swear i hope this makes up for it somehow

#SSB