Hi everybody! Sorry for not updating in awhile... I had a really rough time writing this chapter for some reason and I was so relieved when I finally finished this thing. Not only that, college started for me on Monday and now I see that my updates may become less frequent but I will try to do what I can and get at least one chapter in a week. On a more positive note, thank you for your reviews! I love you guys :) There's plenty of fluff in this chapter and it may be borderline nauseating but I tried to do what I could. Please R&R and enjoy the update! :D

Innocence is Blind

Chapter 12 The Search for Love

(Borealia – Separatist encampment: early evening)

"…And as your new governess, I will do everything in my power to make sure you adjust comfortably to the Separatist occupation. I will prove to you that not all Separatists are evil like you think they are, good citizens of Borealia. I am not a cruel dictator: I am a being with feelings and basic needs just like everyone of you in the crowd. Upon my honor, I hereby vow that I, Roma Merrik, will do my best to make sure you all have your inalienable rights and a new home in which you can start over."

A sea of hollow faces stared back at her. Roma read their blank expressions, seeing that they were void of any feelings. There was no joy, anger, sorrow or anxiety. All she saw was hopelessness. This observation disturbed her but at the back of her mind, she knew she should've expected to see such citizens so demoralized and broken. Their planet had been brutally taken over by none other than General Grievous.

"You want to help us?" a man yelled from the mass. "You can help us by getting this battle droid army out of here! And to make matters better, you can call the Republic over to help us rebuild everything you destroyed!"

The other Borealians began to shout in approval. Then jeers came from the crowd and their faces began to bear hostile expressions. Roma began to wring her hands in nervousness.

"Citizens, I have been sent here on strict orders to be the governess of this planet," she urged. "I'm sorry but I must follow them. Please, reflect on what I have just said and believe me! I am not an evil Confederate!"

Grievous decided enough was enough. He emerged from the shadows of the night. With clanking footsteps, he walked up to the podium where Roma was standing. The cyborg pushed past her and confronted the throng of unhappy citizens.

They immediately fell silent as soon as they saw his form. A curtain of fear swept over them. The crowd did not expect to see him actually come before them. They had only expected to have the ginger haired Separatist dog to talk to them.

"You have no choice, you vermin," Grievous decreed. "No matter what, you must accept the reality that you are all under new management. I have conquered this planet and that means I have brought you under Confederate rule. Rebel if you want, Borealians… If you choose to do that, I will crush any pitiful insurrection you will muster. If you value your lives, you will bend to the whim of Governess Merrik whom I have been entrusted to help set up a new government. And consider yourselves all extremely lucky because if the fate of this planet was completely under my dominion, things would be far different than what Merrik has in store. Consider her presence as heaven sent."

The drained faces made a gloomy return. Roma pitied them and silently prayed they wouldn't try to free themselves. She did not wish to see thousands of freedom fighters given public executions.

"Go back to your dwellings in Tyrin City," he resumed. "I have seen enough of your faces already." He lowered his voice and turned to Roma. "I have broken them for you. Now they will be more welcoming to your presence."

"General," she feared she was about to regret what she wanted to say, "was that really relevant?"

"Yes, it is… If I didn't step in, you'd be lynched. Ruthlessness, Governess… If you are a leader, you must have a tinge of that quality when you are to bring order. Remember that. And no need to thank me. I am retiring to my quarters early and I will speak more with you tomorrow morning."

Before she could say goodnight, he was already walking away from her. Sighing, Roma ran her fingers through her hair and walked back to her shuttle to retire to her quarters as well.

(An hour later.)

"What's the important matter?" Celia pestered Grievous. "Why won't you tell me? It's a secret! I knew it!"

"It's inevitable, Celia," he replied. "I'll give you three guesses."

"Do I get my own lightsaber?"

"No."

"Did you get me a pet birdy?"

"Think harder. I will get you something."

"Um… Oh, I know what it is! You're going to get me a starfighter!"

"Never."

They stepped onto the Invisible Hand's empty control bridge. There were no droids posted at the monitors and Captain Dofine wasn't lounging in his chair, awaiting further orders.

"The control bridge?" she wrinkled her nose. "This isn't fun!"

Grievous headed toward a control console. He pressed a button and activated a hologram projector. There were a few more buttons touched and he got access to what exactly he was looking for.

"I've done some research while you were sleeping," he said. "I've located some adoption agencies that have profiles on individuals who are filing to adopt a child."

"You talk too much grown up, Grievous!" she complained.

"We're going to look for families for you. The reason why I took you with me is because I want you to choose who you want to live with. But I will provide the final confirmation however."

"Oh, okay…"

He sat down in Dofine's chair. Celia looked at him.

"What?" he asked impatiently.

"There's no other chairs," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. Celia smiled. "Can I sit with you?"

Grievous' first and immediate reaction would've been 'no'. But he didn't want her to sit on the ground. Unhappily, he lifted her up and placed her on his knee.

"Your knee hurts my butt!" Celia whined. She scooted up and sat down in his lap. "That's better."

He wanted to throw her off like she was leech. Yet he didn't. She just didn't deserve to be tossed aside in that way.

"Fine, whatever," he sighed. "Let's just try to figure out a few possible candidates to adopt you." Grievous accessed a monstrous list of people who were willing to adopt. His eyes widened in amazement at its length: there were easily over a thousand people. "Alright then… Let's make things easier for the both of us: what kind of family do you want to live with?"

"Um, someone who will love me and play with me," she said.

"That doesn't help at all, Celia. What I mean is: do you want a particular species to adopt you? I'm sure you want Human parents considering you are one."

"Yes, please."

"Wonderful. There's Humans all over this galaxy so it shouldn't be too difficult to find what you need."

He accessed a filtering feature the list had and singled out the Human individuals and couples who wanted to adopt. The size of the list decreased a little bit but there were so many entries and profiles he could access. And to top it off, there were countless other adoption agencies he could browse. Grievous realized he could spend a lifetime doing this if he actually had the time and patience.

"Well…" he said slowly. "You're going to be up for quite some time."

"That's a big list!" Celia stated the obvious. "It's going to take forever! I'll never find a family now…"

"Don't start with the tears. I will not stand for it. I promise you that through some way, I will find a family for you. I took you into my care and I will not cease the search until I am sure I find someone who will ably care for you. I'm not going to let you get raised by vagabonds and vagrants."

"What's a 'vagabond'?"

"Scum of the galaxy. Petty criminals, Jedi…"

"Jedi? The Jedi won't take me because I don't have the Force. My Mommy told me that when I was born, I got blood take to check to see if I had the Force. I don't."

"Thank stars. You deserve a much better existence than that. Now let's go on with this search."

He picked a random profile out from the list. A picture of the person popped up and they were Human of course. It was a Human couple who appeared to be in their forties. There were some stats on them such as: homeworld, income, occupation and what type of children they would preferably adopt.

"Who are those people?" Celia asked. "I can't read very well so can you tell me what it says?"

"It looks like these people live on a planet that is already within the CIS," said Grievous, reading the stats. "They're from Raxus. Their income seems to be fairly stable and the man is a mechanic…" He paused when he saw the next bit of information. "This won't work for you."

"Why? They seem nice."

He didn't want to tell her the truth because in the profile it was stated specifically that they wanted to adopt Separatist orphans. Celia was a Republic orphan. Grievous could theoretically pass her off as a Separatist child but he didn't doubt that her Republic roots would not adapt well to a household with such a contrasting political atmosphere.

"They're too poor," the cyborg lied. "You don't want a poor family because you'll go hungry and everyone will tread on you."

"My family wasn't rich though," she said.

"You might not have been rich I'm sure you weren't poor either. You lived in a comfortable middle class setting. I'll settle for middle class or above for you."

"Okay…"

He left the profile and picked something else from the list. Celia shifted in his lap and moved closer to him. She placed the side of her head against his chest and shut her eyes for a few moments. Grievous watched as a smile appeared on her face.

This hadn't happened to him in nearly three years. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he found himself liking this. For a moment, he thought he was back on Kalee, holding one of his own. Happy and warm feelings of tenderness pierced through his icy heart and he felt the urge to stroke the crown of her head. Celia reminded him too much of the children he had left behind on Kalee.

Just then, an overwhelming surge of guilt and sadness engulfed his very soul. It never occurred to him until at that very moment how much he missed them. He hadn't spoken to or seen his family in so long. Grievous had no clue of their situation or whereabouts. There were times when he attempted to contact him but they were very infrequent: and he never could get a hold of them. At the back of his mind, he suspected Count Dooku had a hand in this. He never could confirm whether the Sith had blocked communication to his home but he merely wondered. The Count did want him to focus on the war and only the war. The half-droid was almost positive that was the case. Dooku was always meddling in his affairs anyway…

"Celia," he awoke her reality, "there's another profile."

Her blue eyes flashed open and she turned her attention to the screen. There, she saw a Human female. She appeared to be in her thirties this time.

"Who's she?" said Celia.

"Her name is Tayra Starfire," Grievous read. "She's from another Confederate holding: Concordia. Her income is good. Huh, exceptionally well actually."

When he discovered what her occupation was, he had to double take. Honestly, he couldn't believe that this person was actually filing for adoption with the job that she wielded: prostitution. Upon further reading, Grievous saw that Tayra wasn't picky with a certain type of child at all.

"Of course!" he pouted loudly. "This would've been a good candidate but she's got to be disregarded… And they actually let this woman get into the system? I guess it's legal on Concordia."

"What's wrong with her?" Celia narrowed her eyes at the picture of the woman. "She looks like a nice, friendly lady."

"Yes, a very friendly woman indeed. Trust me, you will regret living there. You'll have a new Daddy every day."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll learn about it when you get older."

"Why can't you tell me now? I can understand!"

"It's not a matter of understanding, it's a matter of age appropriateness. You're not going to live with a prostitute. I'd rather let you live amongst those walking balls of fuzz that inhabit Endor's forest moon."

"What's a 'prostitute'?"

"I'm not going to answer that question. Moving on now."

"Can I ask one question, please? It's not the one I tried to ask earlier. It's something else. I asked you it a few days earlier but you ignored me."

"Did I have good reason to ignore it?"

"I don't know. But, here it is: do you have a family?"

Despite the feelings he felt a few moments earlier, Grievous did not want to talk about it at the time being. Just thinking about them anymore was painful. He couldn't stop thinking about them every single time Celia was by his side. However, he didn't want to brush off her question since he saw it was rude (and then he wondered, when did I care about other people's feelings?).

"Yes, I do," he said softly. "They're on my homeworld, Kalee."

"Aww, that's nice!" Celia was smiling and she seemed interested in the topic. "Who's in your family?"

"I have ten wives and thirty children."

"WHAT?"

Grievous actually laughed at her reaction. Celia appeared to be shocked out of her mind. The expression on her face amused him immensely. If he didn't have a mask on and possessed the lower half of his face, there would've been a grin.

"That's not true!" she shook her head. "That's impossible!"

"That's the way things are on my planet," he asserted. "One male marries multiple times."

"I didn't know you were a daddy…" Her astonishment disappeared and her naturally beautiful smile returned. "That's cool. Do you ever see them or talk to them?"

His heart fell once more.

"I haven't talked to them in a very long time," there was a hint of sadness in his deep voice.

"That stinks," Celia said and patted his leg. "But don't worry, I'm sure you'll hear or see them again! As long as you love them, you'll be okay!"

(Two hours later…)

The Kaleesh cyborg was quite bored by the humdrum and mind numbing task of accessing a profile, scanning stats to make sure they fit his standards and moving along. His eyes hurt from looking at the screen for too long and he was starting to develop a pounding headache. The search was only two hours but to him, it felt like twenty. To make matters worse, he deemed it fruitless and wasteful. Many of them looked promising but Grievous just didn't believed that they could qualify for taking Celia in.

She was equally bored. Celia often slouched, sighed heavily and her eyes became increasingly heavy. He had to wake her up at least three times. A few times, she even asked him to stop because she was tired of it and she wanted to go to bed. The General ignored her pleas, preferring to get as much done as he could.

"I can't take this anymore."

Grievous groaned and clutched his aching skull. He was not accustomed to stare at bright holograms for a long period of time. His patience level for that kind of thing wasn't very long either. This was the very first time trying the search and he hated it. More than anything else, he wanted to retreat to his quarters and be alone with his thoughts.

"Celia, we're finished with this." Temporarily, he forgot she was in his lap. "Now, you can go to sleep."

Celia was unresponsive and fast asleep. She was snuggled up against him and one of her hands was resting on his stomach plate. Even in her sleep, she wore a tiny smile.

"Wake up."

The little girl was lost in her pleasant dreams. He poked her in her ribs to wake her up but this failed. Celia stirred a little bit and exhaled in contentment.

"You little brat. You're going to make me carry you."

He gently wrapped his arms around her and stood up onto his taloned feet. Grievous felt awkward the way he was holding her since he hadn't done such a thing in so long. He noted how peaceful and helpless she looked as she slept. Her safety laid entirely in his claws: and the cyborg was going to make sure she would remain secure.

He exited the control bridge with the intention to take her to her quarters. Grievous was entirely aware he no longer had a body made of flesh and bone so he tried to make her as comfortable as he could in his inorganic arms. His golden eyes studied her as he walked along, envying the peace and bliss she must be feeling. He yearned to sleep just like her again. Once again, she reminded him too much of Kalla. In fact, he figured that if Celia was ever a Kaleesh, he would be certain she was Kalla's identical twin sister.

"This is a strange child," he thought to himself. "She softens my heart when I look at her. She is so innocent, kind, pure, careless, naïve… I hate many things but I cannot hate or push her away." The warlord couldn't believe he was actually thinking these things. "For someone as wonderful as she, she deserves a good family… And I will do that for her in some way or another."

Without any events or encounters with wandering battle droids or any other unwanted attention, he made it to her room. The door swept open and Grievous approached her bed. Gingerly, he placed her down, careful not to wake her up. As soon as he laid her down, Celia stirred but didn't wake. He grabbed her "blanket" from the foot of her bed and draped it over her tiny form. Then he tucked her in, making sure she wouldn't catch a chill.

Taking a step back, he noticed her locket that was sitting on a table beside the bed. Grievous pressed the button on its side and the same blue hologram popped up. The same soothing melody wafted as the gears turned.

Satisfied with the condition of her room, he tried to walk out as silently as his metallic feet would allow him to. The door closed softly behind him and he sighed heavily.

"Why? Why me? Why does she have to be stuck with a monster like me?"