The first weeks of January passed in a writing-induced haze. Tyler had given Elena the go-ahead to start writing as soon as he'd read the outline she had sent him, and she worked on the story every moment that she wasn't working or asleep.

(Well, that was what she told everyone, but it was a blatant lie. She worked on the novel at The Beanery anytime things were slow, and it had reached the point where she was even dreaming about it too.)

Things always went that way after she managed to break a bought of writer's block. Granted, her writer's block wasn't usually anywhere near as bad as it had been, but she always wound up working nonstop as soon as inspiration struck her again—she'd settle into a rhythm eventually, go out, talk to people, but it took a few weeks for that to happen. As a result, it wasn't until a week and a half before the beginning of February that anyone was able to drag her out of her trance. She was sitting on her couch on a Friday evening, her laptop balanced on her legs as she typed, so focused on what she was doing that she didn't notice the sound of her front door opening.

It took the sound of someone clearing their throat for her to look up from her work. She lifted her gaze from her screen to see Bonnie and Caroline standing in front of her, the former with her arms crossed and the latter with her hands on her hips.

"What are you guys doing here?" Elena asked.

"You haven't exchanged more than twelve words with any of us in three weeks, El," Bonnie said.

"We felt it was time that we came to pry you out of your bubble," Caroline said. Elena opened her mouth to argue and Caroline shook her head. "You've been working nonstop for weeks. You're going to put down your laptop and come to dinner with us, where you will be engaged and have a full conversation with Bonnie and me."

"Bossy," Elena said.

Caroline smiled. "It's a talent."

"I'm on a roll though," Elena said, looking back at her laptop. "I've got six chapters written."

"And your roll will continue after you come with us to get some food," Bonnie said. "Come on. You know you've missed actually getting to talk to people, and we'd like to know that you're functioning normally. Or would you like me to enlighten Caroline as to—"

Elena closed her laptop and set it on the coffee table. "No, you don't need to do that. I'm coming."

"Enlighten me as to what?" Caroline asked as Elena stood. "Are you keeping something from me?"

"It's not important," Elena said. "Right, Bonnie?"

"Right," Bonnie said.

"Then why can't I know about it?" Caroline asked.

"Because I don't want to talk about it," Elena said. "It's nothing personal, Care. Bonnie just happened to catch me at a time where she was able to find out some things."

"I'm so offended," Caroline said. "But come on. We're going to the Grill."

"This town really needs to get some new restaurants," Elena said, following her friends out into the front hallway, where they paused long enough for her to get a coat before they went outside. "I mean, I love the Grill, but in New York you could go to a new restaurant every night for a year and still have other places to try."

"Small-town Virginia versus New York City," Bonnie said, shrugging. "Unless someone moves here and decides to open something new, I doubt we're going to get anything else."

They piled into Caroline's car and arrived at the Grill within a few minutes. Elena let Bonnie and Caroline lead the way inside, stopping for a moment to inhale deeply. The January air was crisp as it filled her lungs, and though the cold was biting at her cheeks, she could have stood there forever. She never quite realized just how much she missed being outside during her fits of inspiration until someone came along and dragged her out. Fortunately, Bonnie and Caroline had no problem doing that for her, and they never let her go more than a few weeks before someone—or several someones—would come to make her act like a normal person again.

"Are you coming or not?" Bonnie asked from the door.

"Yeah, sorry," Elena said.

The Grill was busy when they went inside, but they were still able to get their usual booth in the corner of the restaurant. It had been their spot since high school, and while they weren't exactly predictable in their comings and goings, Bruce, who owned the restaurant, kept the table open for them unless he really needed it. Knowing everyone so well was both a blessing and a curse associated with living in a small town, but as far as Elena was concerned, having a table that was "hers" was definitely a blessing.

It didn't take long for them to order—they'd been to the Grill so many times that they had the menu memorized, and everyone had their favorite dishes. Elena tried to make a habit of not ordering the same thing every time she went, but she had tried everything on the menu at least once (really, she'd tried most things at least three times), and there were a few things that she preferred to any of the other options available.

"So are you going to tell us what this new book is about, or are we still not allowed to know?" Bonnie asked when their food arrived.

Elena took a bite from one of her French fries and shrugged. "You know how I feel about that stuff, Bon."

"Yeah, yeah," Bonnie said. "We don't get to know anything until you've been through at least two rounds of edits." She sipped from her drink and sighed. "It's like you think we're going to leak something to the press."

"First of all, I know you wouldn't do that to me," Elena said. "Second, it's just because I don't know what's going to be changed yet. I don't want to give you details that may not wind up as part of the final product."

"She doesn't trust us, obviously," Caroline said, grinning.

Elena rolled her eyes. "It's a redemption story, okay? That's all you're getting out of me, though."

"You see, that I can work with," Bonnie said. "I can make stuff up with that. I'm probably completely wrong, but it gives me something to do."

"Come on, Bon, let's see what we can come up with," Caroline said. "I'll start. It's totally set in New York or some big city."

"The hero is definitely a strong but quiet girl who has to help a dark and mysterious stranger find himself again," Bonnie said.

Elena laughed. "While you two are figuring out something that's completely inaccurate, I'm going to go to the bathroom."

She set her napkin on the table and stood up, leaving Bonnie and Caroline to trade ideas about what they thought Elena's book was going to be about. They were inventive enough that she was sure they would come up with some great theories, but their creativity was also their downfall. Much of what they dreamt up was hilarious and clever, but too outlandish to ever actually be a plot point in one of Elena's novels. She liked to describe her work as "idealized realism," in which those things that just didn't quite work out in real life somehow managed to fall into place.

She hummed to herself as she returned to their table a few minutes later. Bonnie and Caroline were still going when she sat down, and she shook her head as she reached for her napkin. A glass of red wine was set in front of her a moment later, and she looked up in confusion at Eddie, the bartender. Caroline and Bonnie fell silent then, both staring at him as well.

"A guy at the bar bought this for you," he said, shrugging. "I can tell him to shove it if you want me to."

"Who?" Elena asked.

Eddie gestured at the bar just as the crowd parted, giving Elena a clear view of a leather jacket and a head of messy, dark hair. Her fingers ghosted over the stem of the wine glass and after a moment she lifted it to her lips, taking a small sip.

"I take it you don't want me to tell him to shove off?" Eddie asked.

"No, it's fine," Elena said. "Thanks, Eddie."

He nodded and returned to the bar. She took another sip of the wine as Caroline and Bonnie looked at her, shocked expressions on both of their faces.

"Are you sure you want to do that, El?" Bonnie asked.

"I'm not going to refuse a good glass of wine just because Damon bought it for me," Elena said. She stood up, the wine glass still in her hand. "Fill Caroline in on the details, would you, Bon? I'll be back."

"Seriously?" Bonnie asked. "Is that really a good idea?"'

"Probably not, but I'm still going to do it anyway," Elena said. "You and I both know that I'm terrible at taking risks, so this should be good practice."

"Bonnie, what does she mean, fill me in?" Caroline asked.

As Elena made her way over to the bar, she heard a yelp, followed by Caroline calling her name. She ignored the blonde in favor of sliding onto the stool next to Damon's, setting the wine glass down on the counter as she did.

"Are you going to slap me?" Damon asked, not looking at her as he lifted a glass of what she could only assume was bourbon to his lips.

She braced her elbow on the counter and rested her chin on her hand. "Should I?"

"I'd rather you didn't," he said.

"Care to explain why you've been avoiding me since New Year's?" she asked.

"Will explaining stop you from slapping me?" he asked.

She shrugged and lifted the wine glass, taking a sip from it before she spoke. "That depends."

"That depends on what?" he asked.

"Whether or not I think your explanation is reasonable," she said. "Friends don't avoid each other for weeks, Damon. We've been over this."

"So we're still friends, then?" he asked.

"Of course, you idiot," she said.

"I guess I don't need to avoid you anymore," he said. He nodded in the direction of the glass in her hand. "The wine is an apology for the fact that I was convinced that I completely messed up our friendship."

"Why would you have messed up our friendship?" she asked.

He finally looked at her, his gaze meeting hers, and she did her best to ignore the shiver that ran down her spine as he spoke. "I kissed you, and I shouldn't have done that."

"It was New Year's," she said, shrugging. "No harm done."

"Right," he said. "New Year's. It didn't mean anything."

Something inside of her broke at those words, but she nodded anyway, turning her attention back to her wine so that she wouldn't have to look at him anymore. "Exactly."

They were quiet then, both staring at their respective glasses. She wasn't even going to try to explain what was probably going on in his head at that moment. All she knew was that it felt as though he'd dislodged something within her, and she didn't know why. It wasn't like they were anything, and she had no place thinking that he thought of her as anything more than a friend. Actually, given the position that he seemed to be in, just having him think of her as a friend was probably a bigger deal than anything else.

"Are you okay?" he asked eventually. She shrugged. "You just seem like something is bothering you, that's all."

Unwilling to tell him what she was really thinking, she searched for something to say, and offered him the first thing that came to mind. "It's nothing, it's just… There's this dinner in New York at the end of February with all the authors and publishing people and I promised Tyler that I'd go, but I'm going to have to spend the whole thing trying to stave off questions about what I'm working on, which is hard to do when I don't have the excuse of talking to someone else, and I don't—" She stopped then and shook her head. "It's stupid. I'll deal with it."

"If it's bothering you, then you should talk about it," he said. She glanced at him then, raising her eyebrows, and he offered her the half-smile that she hadn't seen in weeks. "I know, pot meet kettle."

"You said it, not me," she said. "And really, it's dumb. I've gotten through plenty of these things without a date before, and I'll get through this one. Unless—never mind."

"Unless what?" he asked.

She traced her finger around the lip of her glass. "Unless you wanted to come with me." He didn't respond, looking at her, and she bit her lip after a moment. "It wouldn't mean anything. It would just be nice to have some company, and you're not in the industry so I understand if you don't want to, but—"

"Slow down," he said. She stopped, glancing at him just in time to see the corner of his mouth quirk up. "It's not like I'm doing anything, is it? I'd love to come. When did you say it was?"

"The last weekend of February," she said. "Are you sure? You really don't have to. I won't be mad or anything if you say no."

"You need company, and it'll get me out of this town for a little while," he said. "Consider it part two of my apology, if you want."

She laughed softly. "Sure thing." She stood up then, picking up her wine glass. "And Damon?"

He looked at her. "Yes, Lena?"

She smiled sweetly, though her eyes narrowed. "If you ever do anything like this to me ever again, I will slap you."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said.

As she left, she brushed her free hand over his shoulder for a moment. When she made it back to Bonnie and Caroline, they both looked at her expectantly.

"So?" Bonnie asked.

"It didn't mean anything, and he's coming to New York with me," Elena said. She picked up a French fry and took a bite of it, only to make a face. "Cold. Damn it."

"He's going to New York with you?" Bonnie asked. "Seriously?"

"Apparently saving me from having to entertain editors and publishers all night is part two of his apology," Elena said. She nodded at the wine. "That was part one."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me that he kissed you, Elena," Caroline said. "That's so… So…"

"Reasonable?" Elena asked. "What would you have said to me if I told you?"

"I don't know," Caroline said. "Why does it matter?"

"Because I wasn't in the mood to hear you tell me that it was a terrible thing," Elena said. Caroline gaped at her and she met the blonde's gaze. "You know you would've. I know you don't like him, Care."

"That doesn't—I wouldn't—" Caroline began.

Bonnie cut her off. "We love you, Care, but you're not exactly afraid to share your opinions about people, and Elena was freaking out enough as it was." She looked at Elena then. "And you're okay with him saying that it meant nothing?"

"Sure," Elena said. "He's my friend. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, nothing else."

"Nothing else?" Caroline asked. "Really?"

"Do you want it to be something else?" Elena asked.

"Look," Caroline said, "I may not love Damon, or really even like him, but he cares about you, and you care about him. If you being happy means that he's part of your life, then I'll put up with him."

"How nice of you," Elena said.

"That came out wrong," Caroline said. "My point is, it doesn't matter what I think if it means something to you."

"Well, it didn't, so…" Elena trailed off.

"If you say so," Bonnie said.

"I do," Elena said, her tone leaving no room for argument. "I'm in the mood for some chocolate cake. Anyone else?"

Bonnie and Caroline chorused their agreement, and within a few minutes, the topic of Elena's not-relationship with Damon had been forgotten.

It had been forgotten by Bonnie and Caroline, anyway, though the former fixed Elena with a curious glance every now and then. Elena ignored it as best she could, trying to focus on their conversation rather than the swirl of emotions battling it out inside her. One part of her was relieved that Damon seemed unconcerned—the part of her that was his friend, the part that wanted him in her life no matter what—but the other part of her couldn't help but be disappointed.

She had thought they were getting somewhere with each other, and much as she was perfectly content with her life the way it was, she couldn't deny that Damon had fit himself into all the empty spaces in the short time that he'd been in Mystic Falls. He made her feel comfortable in a way that no one had in a long time, if ever, and she had begun to think that they were going somewhere. Where, she wasn't sure, but she had felt that their relationship had moved beyond the friends stage.

Then again, what did she know? If what Jeremy said was true—and Damon's secrecy seemed to point to the fact that it was—Damon had plenty of baggage. She didn't know how anyone's past could be more convoluted than her own, but maybe that was just because she'd never met anyone whose was. If Damon's life had taken as many twists as she suspected it had, he was probably even less enthusiastic about getting into a relationship than she was.

Of course, the only way that she would ever know anything for sure would be if Damon told her about it himself, but she wasn't sure if that was ever going to happen.

She wasn't sure if she even wanted it to.

A/N:

lol hey guys long time no post

So I'm going to be honest with you here and say that I lied in my last (now deleted) note—I have not, in fact, finished writing the entirety of this story. I've only written up through chapter fifteen. I am posting this (and subsequent written chapters over the next few weeks) because my inspiration has been completely shot on everything for the last ~six months and I'm hoping that posting/interacting with everyone will help kick-start it again.

Some brief updates: I now have an AO3 account for this side of things. My username over there is thespiritofcuriosity, though I also have the pseud UnicornStarFighter, which I am using whenever I cross-post something that was also over here. I've been posting Heartbeat and Bone over there with considerably more regularity than I have over here, and as of today, I am also posting this story over there as well.

I'll be honest, I much prefer AO3 to here, simply because it's a million times easier for me to post new chapters/update already posted chapters/interact with my readers (comments are so much easier to reply to than reviews are), so once this (and H&B) are finished over here, I will likely be migrating to AO3 permanently with anything new that I write. Like I said above, my username is thespiritofcuriosity. I'm also still on Tumblr at unicornstarfighter, though I don't update that blog all too often (I will more as I have readers wanting things of me, but as of now it just sort of sits).

Thanks for reading and thanks for your patience and I will post again next week (or the week after... Haven't quite decided if I want to do weekly or bi-weekly updates yet, especially since I'm currently working full time and my downtime to do more writing is limited).

Peace and love x