Hello Everyone!

This is the 12th chapter of this story!

I hope you will like it.

Warning: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of the personages. I own only the things I made up myself like Meliora, Ensei and the other Community home personages.

Warning: I am not a native English user and I am dyslectic so my English may not always be perfect! Please bear with me!

And now on to the story!

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Black. Pitch black. That is what today is. Today is my 3th time I could be chosen to enter the Games. It is too bad they forbade us to wear black clothes because it would be fitting. You know like the clothes you wear at a funeral… Because we are waiting for the unlucky souls to be reaped and die in the Hunger Games. You lose either way… you die in the games or you win the games and have to live with the guilt…. Disguising Capitol people and mentoring the other games… and all the other effects the Games have on you.

I am standing here in a grey uniform… an ugly… very ugly dress thingy…

My mother passed away from her injury's just a few days ago. And I feel so terrible. I feel guilty. If I had not kept Buddy and put him back into the woods my mom would still be alive…

Or that is what I think what would have happened. Now it is just three days ago, she died. And this time for real. And I am standing here, knowing I have got family but the man himself doesn't even know. And I intend on keeping it that way. Less painful for all of us. Plus I promised my mom I wouldn't tell him that day in the woods.

It is raining today, just our luck. Normally it would be too hot to stand on this Square for more than an hour. But today we are being rained upon. Funny it matches my mood… well not exactly because then it would be storming. You know those really big and aggressive storms, like ones with hurricanes and such.

It is almost one o'clock, the reaping will start very soon. I look around me. The younger ones are behind me and the older ones before me. All of them look sad or scared out of their minds. Or both. Some have a stone mask on their face. I have such a mask on my face. I have been wearing one ever since my mother's passing. I never cried, never shown any type of feeling. Shutting everybody else out in the process.

Sharing my feelings with nobody but myself. I am acting as cold as I possibly can towards everybody, but it does not seem to help. They just come to me, try to talk to me, again and again. But I never answer with more than a word or l just ignore them entirely.

The little ones I know are probably confused and hurt by my behaviour. I would not play or even talk to them like I normally would. I have seen them cry, but I can't seem to get myself to care. Even the Hunger Games doesn't scare me anymore. I am living like a lifeless robot. Doing things because I have to. Never smile, talk or look at anybody if I don't have too.

I have seen the concerned faces of those around me. And I don't care. I just don't care. It will be over soon though. I'm going to do it. Just as planned.

My eyes `sweep over the other teens standing with me on the Square. The girls don't have to be afraid about being picked this year. Not that they already know… but still. It will be me who is going into the arena this time.

I will make them pay. Use my screen time to make them pay. Pay for all their crimes. Make them pay for how they treat us. I will make them pay for the lives they take every day. And the best thing is they would not know what hit them. A sinister smirk is forming on my lips as I think about it. Since the dark days we are burning, it is time they burn with us.

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For the first time since I was crowned victor I am on time for the reaping. A memorable feet if you ask me. Before I was too drunk to care, plus no one I cared about was standing in the a crowd of teens. But now it is different. I am sadly not drunk and there is a person I care about now.

Meliora Wentworth.

I kept a close eye on here since I found out that she might be my brothers daughter. I don't think she knows though. And I was too scared to go and ask her.

I was at her mother's funeral a few day's back. And I could not help but pity the poor child. She was acting like a robot. With nothing but emptiness and extreme pain written in her eyes. Since then she would not let anybody close to her. If you got to close she would glare the most intimidating glare at you. It made even the bravest person want to pee his/her pants.

I still kept an eye on her though, and I would have taken her in if I wasn't so damn scared Snow would do something to her. Because he could, quite easily even. Where it the Games, or a peacekeeper catching her with an dead animal. They would hunt her down till she was dead, and force me to live with it.

If I was drunk I would probably have taken her in without a second thought. Burst into wherever she was staying and take her home with me. No matter the consequences. I would not have cared. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. 'Thank you Everdeen.' I think silently. Even though I crave a drink, it's better I am sober for now.

I stand waiting next to the stage now, doing my best to appear drunk… it is pretty hard I can tell you that. I have to sway a little on my feet, slur my words, keep my eyes unfocused and I am stinking because I haven't bathed for days. And all this just to look like I am still drinking and nothing changed. I take my flask out of my breast pocket and take a sip of that disgusting 'non booze' that Ripper is still selling me. Well it will have to do for now, have to keep up appearances.

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As the clock strikes one the Mayor followed by a pink candy floss lookalike woman and a very drunk Haymitch enter the stage. 'Well well well.. what's this?' I think. Haymitch has never been on time before…

"Good afternoon everyone, and happy Hunger Games." The Mayors voice comes through a microphone. I grit my teeth. 'Happy Hunger Games my feet' I think. "Please let me introduce to you our Districts new escort Effie Trinket." There is a silence here and I can't resist a smirk at her crestfallen expression when nobody applauds.

"Well then." The Mayor starts again. "This year is the 66th year after the dark days ….." And then he goes on and on about Panem and her history. About the games and why they were created. Like we don't know the story… it's the same story every year and we are forced to hear it over and over again. You could wake us up in the middle of the night and we could recite it to you. No problem.

"And now I will give Effie Trinket the word." The Mayor finely finishes. " Well hello very one! Isn't this so very exiting?" She asks in her stupid annoying Capitol accent. She is again met with dead silence and grim faces. "Well then Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favour." She almost sound like a bird! Still nobody here on the Square reacts to her bubbly happy disgusting Capitol-like behaviour.

"Well then lady's first." She tells us and then walks very awkwardly to the big bowl with the female names. "She is walking just like a womanly Haymitch." I mutter under my breath as I see her picking a slip of paper and wobble back to the microphone. Next to me a girl my age snorts but becomes ghostly pale as the slip is opened.

"Meliora Wentworth."

I take a shuddering breath and squire my shoulders. Mask firmly in place as I walk towards the stage. I hear people mutter in the crowd. " Poor thing, the odds where not in her favour this past few months!"

I ignore them as I climb up the stage and go and stand next to Candy floss. I am not looking at her. Nor am I listening to a word she says. I am too busy trying to find Grace, Ensei and the others. As I find them I shake my head at them and they look at me with tears in their eyes.

Candy floss is now already opening the male slip of paper she picked.

"Liam Miller."

I look at him as he makes his way to the stage. He looks shocked, sad and afraid. But there is something determent in his eyes. Like a fire that shines in his blue eyes. He climbs the stage and takes his place next to Candy floss.

"Are there any volunteers?" Candy floss ask in her high and annoying Capitol accent.

I glare at the crowd. Daring them to volunteer. I really hope they don't because I wouldn't forgive them.

Tension is thick as nobody said a word.

After like what feels like forever Candy floss finely says: "Well then… everyone I present you the tributes of District 12. You may shake hands now."

And that is what I do, I shake his hand. But afterwards he takes my right hand in his left and lift them into the sky. I look at him, his gesture confused me. Not that I let it show on my face or body language.

After a few seconds I nod my head at him, and turn back to the crowd. And I give them the only salute I can think of. I put my tree middle fingers to my mouth and then into the air.

An very old gesture. It means goodbye. A goodbye to a loved one.

The crowd copies my salute to them. Saying goodbye to me and Liam. It sends chills down my spine as I watch this. And I feel I am very close to crying.

Our moment is broken up when a group of 8 Peacekeepers storms the stage. They break Liam and I apart and escort us to different rooms inside the Justice building.

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'NO NO NO NO NO!' I scream in my mind as the Capitol bitch reads the name of my niece out loud. I want to scream. Strangle the woman for even being here, but I can't. I can't do a *!* &* thing. My eyes find Everdeen in the back of the audience. He too looks angry. I look as the girl makes her way to the stage. Same mask on her face since the dead of her mother. But her eyes they are liquid blue greyish fire.

I make sure my face is blank. That no emotions show through. But it is hard, so damn hard. I watch as she climbs the stage and stands alongside the pink dead. She doesn't even acknowledge her. Must say I am proud of her, I wouldn't spare the pink demon a glance if I were her. The colour is hurting my eyes!

I watch as the pink dead wobbles to the boys bowl, but I don't really focus on her. In my mind I am already planning how I can get Sweetheart out of these games. Probably should not call her that out loud or she will have my head. On the other hand I want to see her skill. I heard she was a master knife thrower and she was decent with a bow and arrow.

Never expected less from her. Everdeen has been teaching her to shoot in the months that her mother was slowly recovering…

My attention is pulled back to the here and now as the boy makes his way up to the stage. It's a merchant. I frown at the look in his eyes. Almost the same as Sweetheart's but then again…. Sweetheart's had a more powerful look in her eyes more calculated now I think about it. If I wasn't looking at his eyes I would just see a scared little boy. But then again the eyes tell me more than body language. This boy will not go out without a fight.

I frown as I see him stop beside pink demon. It's not long before they have to shake hands and I almost lose myself in my thoughts again…. But then I see the boy take her hand and rises it up above their hands, for the whole District and the rest of the nations to see.

I freeze.. 'Oh no..' I think as I see the scene unfold. I clench my fist and my jaw is locked. NO NO NO! They just made an impossible job even more impossible. How can I get her out now when they are doing this!

Safe to say I panicked.

Peacekeepers rush past me taking the two inside the justice building. I slump back in my seat and grab my flask. I need real booze and soon I think as I drink the revolting substitute.

I just need to feel the familiar numbness, even just for a few minutes.

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The Peacekeepers shove me into an empty room. I realise that this is the room where I will say my last goodbyes. I look around, the room is almost as big as half my house in the seam. It is also furnished with expensive looking furniture.

I decide I do not like the room. The walls are white… I have no problem with that it's just the rest. The couch is a blood coloured velvet and I do not want to think about blood or dead at the moment. The rest of the furniture is dark and make the room feel cramped and small.

I don't sit down on the couch but make my way to the window and look outside. I hope nobody visits me but I know the change of that is very slim. I haven't stopped thinking that as the door slams open.

I turn around and I see almost my whole community group standing there. It is Monty and the twins who take action first and run up to me and wrap me in a tear filled hug. "You need to win." They tell me. "I smile a sad smile at them and bend to their level, forgetting that the others as are in the room as I say:" I'll will not be the one who will come out dears. This is our last goodbye."

It is silent for a moment. "NO! don't you dare say anything like that again!" I get shouted at by 8 people at the same time. I winch at the volume they create together. I smile a watery smile as I stand up again and look at their faces.

"Don't worry." I say. "I will not go out without a fight" I continue as I give each of them a tight hug. "You better not." Benjamin tells me as he lets go of me. I hug Grace next, I can feel her shaking and I know she is crying. "Shhh.." I shush her softly. "It's alright." I tell her. I grip onto her tighter as I whisper: "I would have volunteered anyway. I have nothing to lose." As the words leave my mouth I feel Grace stiffen. She pulls back from as if slapped and a look of rage crosses her face.

The door opens again and there is the Peacekeeper announces their time is up. "I love you all." I tell them. "But it is best you forget about me." As they make their way out of the door. They look back at me stopping in the doorway "Never." They tell me as the door closes behind them.

At the moment I am fighting myself. I have an urge to cry. I have had that urge for three days now and I am really close to my breaking point I realise.

The door opens again to reveal Ensei. He wasn't part of the bigger group just now. I look at him. I feel my eyes glass over with tears as I stare at him. In a second he has crossed the room to where I am and wrapped me in a hug.

For the first time in days I cry. My walls came down, and now for probably the last time in front of another living person. We stand like this for a little while but then I take a step back and turn my back to him.

"You know, you have a change of coming out of there you know?" He tells me wrapping his arms around again from behind me. "No I don't." I tell him.

His arms tighten as he almost shouts: "Yes you do! You can hunt, survive. Don't you dare give up on yourself already!" I can tell he is frustrated and I sigh.

I turn around and look up into his face. " Ensei…" I begin but he cuts me off first. "No, Meliora, I know you lost your mother, I know how it feels to lose your parents. Dying over it is not the way! You have to hold on." He pleads with me.

I smile a watery smile at him as I put my forehead on his chest, leaning against him. "Please promise me you will not go down without a fight." He pleads with me.

I sigh and then nod. "I will." I promise softly my throat suddenly very dry.

He kisses my forehead and then my cheek and then let's go of me. "Stay alive." He tells me as the peacekeeper takes him from the room.

And then I am alone again. Not for long though as the Everdeen's enter the room.

I smile at them. I hadn't expected them to see me off. They all hug me and try to take my mind off the Games for even just a little moment.

Just as they are leaving Mr. Everdeen slips me something. I have no time to look at it as they shout their last goodbyes at me.

When the door closes again I look down at my hand and see Mr. Everdeen slipped me a flower. And not just a flower, a primrose. "Hope". I think as I admire the flower for a moment. I let down my hair and tuck the flower behind my ear.

I almost gave up hope I realise as I turn back to look out of the window again. A few silent moments pas as the door opens again. I turn and I must say I'm surprised. Shocked even as I see Rye Mellark walk up to me. Next to him is Peeta so I do the best next thing. Which is ignoring Rye and giving Peeta all my attention. "Hey" I tell him. I get a hug from Peeta and when he let's go I shoves a bag in my hands. "For you." He tells me "Don't give up okay?" He tells me with those big blue innocent eyes. I feel my throat close as I nod at him. "Goodbye Peeta." I tell him as Peeta leaves the room right after saying goodbye to me.

I look back up and see that Rye is watching me. I feel my mask slip into place again as I stare him in the face.

He seems uncomfortable but I still don't say anything. Finely he sighs and closes his eyes for the briefest moment and then opens them again.

"Sooo…" I say feeling uncomfortable myself. "What are you doing here?" I ask him. 'It's not like he cares for me or something. Is he really going to bully me now?' I find myself thinking.

"Well." He says " I..I love you.." he tells me.

I stare at him. Absolutely dumbfounded. "You're what?" I ask him.

"You heard me." He said to me. Looking me in my eyes. I turn away from him. Not knowing how to deal with him and his confession. He sleeps with the whole District and he tells me he loves me? I think.

"You know." I say "If you want to get laid, you should just go ask one of your girlfriends. There is no way that you love me." I tell him.

He looks hurt at my admission. "You don't get it do you?" he asks me all the while twirling me around and grabbing my upper arms tightly. "I was trying to make you jealous and I never slept with any of those girls." He tells me earnestly.

"Let go of me." I tell him angrily. "You were also bullying me every change you got. I don't take nicely to bullies…" I fall silent for a while as I rip my arms out of his hold. " Ohh.. God." I say as a thought hit me like rocks. "You actually pulled the little boy who got a crush on a girl thing where little boy pulls little girls ponytail didn't you?"

I look at him and see him looking at the floor. His cheeks and ears red in what I guess is embarrassment.

Now I do not know what to say or what to do. Oh gosh this is so awkward.

Then out of nowhere I feel him grab my upper arm again and tug me towards him. His other hand coming up to my cheek. Before I can do anything about it I feel his lips against mine.

My eyes go wide. But it is over before I can do anything about it. I look at him shocked as I looks back at me with a small sad smile. "Don't go out without a fight." he tells me. Before letting go and leaving the room.

To say I am shocked is an understatement of the year. I sit down on the blood coloured couch and take deep breath.

He just stole my first kiss….

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Hello everyone! I hope you liked this chapter!

Let me know what you think!

Till next chapter!