Lieutenant Hawkins and the Angel of Death

Chapter Twelve

Emma pulled back from her husband a little so she could look up into his eyes again and could see the rage and his shame within them. She also saw that he continued to clench his jaw together, until he finally turned his head to look at her as well without saying a word. The Savior reached up to caress his cheek to try to offer him the little comfort she knew he would accept from her right now, but she didn't ask him if he was okay. The sad look in his eyes told her everything, and she understood that he was far from being alright.

"Come on," she finally said and stepped back as she started to walk away from him, until Killian swiftly reached out to grab her arm to pull her back. "We should go after them before they get too far and disappear again."

"No… I can't," Killian uneasily responded to her almost as though he was afraid of something, but when he spoke again, his explanation wasn't all what she expected from him despite him having spoken of it once before some time ago. "We have to find them yes, but if I go… especially now, then I can't promise you I won't kill them. Liam's death was what started me on my path to becoming a villain and me killing the Angel's father, and helping my brother to kill Silver and his crew was all a part of that beginning. I may no longer be alone, but I don't trust myself enough to believe I can restrain myself should they attempt to destroy all I've worked so hard for. I'm afraid I might revert back into the man I used to be."

Emma tenderly laid her hands over his chest and looked deep into his eyes again, then she whispered gently, "And like I told you moments ago and when you were afraid of losing yourself back then… you're not that man anymore, Killian. I know you can't believe you weren't partly to blame for your brother's decision to accept Hades' deal, or that you won't ever fully forgive yourself for your past no matter what I can possibly say or do to try to convince you that you deserve better. But I believe in you. Especially when you can't."

He smiled at her sadly, then answered, "I appreciate that, love. But you're right. I'll never fully be free of my past. Just as I know you're still haunted by your actions when you were the Dark One and some even within your own past. It's easy to be grateful for and even to accept others' forgiveness. But it's impossible for me to forgive myself even a little. Not when my sins keep coming back to remind me of all I've done."

"There you two are!" Regina suddenly called out to them, when she, Zelena, Snow, and David appeared behind them, then walked over to join them. "Have you had any luck in finding a clue as to this Angel's and Lieutenant's whereabouts yet?"

"They were here, but they ran off before we could stop them," Emma quickly replied before the man she loved could take anymore blame upon himself for letting them go. "They only wanted to make themselves known. We told them the truth behind Silver's death and Liam's deal, and we learned Hades was responsible for them still being alive to come after Killian."

Zelena released a quiet sight and then she tossed the gift box containing the sapphire over to Emma while she responded, "Unfortunately, Hades was the one who gave them the power to curse you with that black spot, Captain. By turning the Eye of the Storm into a power source."

Regina continued, "Gold helped us figure it out. He came by my vault and used his power to see if he could sense as I did. He recognized the power emitting from the stone belonged to Hades. I recognized it too, but not enough until he only confirmed what I was afraid of. What's worse is that we believe they have a powerful artifact that's given them the power to live this long, but in order to for such magic to work…"

"It comes with a price that not only they must have paid to get their hands on it, but one that will cost all of us greatly unless we stop them," the Savior finished for her upon understanding what it was she was getting at, then she looked worryingly over at Killian as he lowered his head to avoid looking into anyone's eyes. "We were just about to go after them before you all arrived."

"We didn't go after them because I was too much of a coward," Hook brusquely retorted and reached up to pull off his badge pinned to the front of his vest he wore beneath his leather jacket, then gruffly placed it into David's hand when he handed it over to him. "This badge belongs to you again until you can find someone more worthy of wearing it. It's not me."

And with that said, Killian ran off on his own in order to get away from everyone as he returned to town despite him being the target of these new villains' hatred, while Emma's father stared down at the sheriff's badge, then asked, "What just happened? It's not like Hook to be afraid of any villain."

Emma swiftly grabbed her husband's badge from her father's hand and started to go after him, but not before she answered, "He's sick and tired of his past rearing its ugly head and he blames himself for all of us being in danger now. But more than that, he's afraid he's going to revert back into his old self if he tries to stop them. Killian's trusting us to do what's needed to stop them before they can hurt him or anyone else. Regina… use magic if you have to in order to find Angelica and Jim Hawkins as soon as possible. Then call me as soon as you do if you need my help to stop them. I have to make sure Killian's going to be alright. I have to protect him."

"Of course," the Queen replied with a nod, then she and the others watched Emma run off after the man she loved.

"I doubt it's going to be that simple," Zelena stated again once the Savior was gone.

Snow responded sternly, "Zelena's right. These two have been surviving for as long as Killian has and have most likely killed… Well, God only knows how many people they've killed for their revenge. And who knows exactly what kind of power they have to have been able to accomplish it all."

Meanwhile…

Once he arrived back in town, Killian walked immediately to Gold's Pawnshop and entered inside, finding both the Dark One and Belle there like he hoped he would, then as they looked up from the books they were looking in upon hearing the bell over the door when it opened, the Captain spoke apprehensively saying, "Crocodile… I'm sorry… Gold. Belle… We need to talk. Regina and Zelena said you were working on trying to find a way to rid me of this cursed spot. Have you had any luck?"

"I'm afraid we really haven't had much time yet to find the right book," the beauty answered in worry, as she observed Killian's face after he approached her and her husband where they were standing in front of one of the other counters within the room, and saw how desperate he was growing in his eyes. "Rumple only returned a short time ago from talking with Regina and Zelena."

"Of course," the pirate replied in frustration, then opened up another one of the books stacked up beside him to skim through it, until Belle reached out to take his hand into her own in order to look closer at the black spot upon seeing it for herself as he did so. "Surely there's something you can do to rid me of it, Gold. Anything. The Angel of Death and her knight are in Storybrooke seeking to kill me because of what I did to her father, and his friend and protector centuries ago. I don't care about myself, but if they use this curse to somehow hurt anyone else… If anyone's hurt because of me… I have to rid myself of it. At the very least… a glamor spell to hide it, or to block the beacon they can track me with."

The Dark One shook his head in concern while he responded, "I'm afraid all a glamor spell would do would make the spot on your hand invisible to everyone else except for you, but it wouldn't mask the spot's power."

All of a sudden, Killian yanked his hand away from Belle and slammed his fist down against the books as he shouted, "Then cut off this hand too like you did the other if that's what it takes! I don't bloody care!"

"No!" the Savior sternly answered before Gold or Belle could say anything, as she walked out from the back room upon hearing her husband's desperate plea for Gold's help, then walked over to stand in front of him with a cross, yet worried look on her face. "I don't ever want to hear you talk like that again. I don't want to hear you talk about harming yourself in order to protect me or everyone else. Not even when you're feeling so guilty, or so angry with yourself. Do you hear me?"

"I do," he whispered sadly while he looked into her eyes once they softened. "Honestly, I was only frustrated. I didn't really mean it. I was…"

Emma tenderly laid her hand over his cheek while she finished for him, "I know. You're feeling desperate. Believe me… I do understand, Killian. But whatever happens until these villains are caught, it'll only be their faults. Not yours. They're the ones trying to kill you and they might try to use us to get what they want."

At last, Rumple stated again, "Miss. Swan's right, Captain. If we all blamed ourselves for everything that's happened because of the villains we've faced… myself included, then hope and peace of mind would hardly exist in our world."

"Rumple's right," Belle replied. "I promise you, we'll let you know if and when we find anything to help."

"I know I have a book that talks of the black spot somewhere," Gold added, then looked at the stacks of books piled up on the countertops around him. "Only… I'm beginning to wonder if it might have been one left behind within my castle in the Enchanted Forest. In which case…"

He shook his head and then continued, "No… I'm certain it's here. We'll find it."

Belle turned back to Emma and Killian, then noticed a look in Emma's eyes she recognized and sensed she wanted to speak with Gold for a moment without Killian, so she asked, "Killian… would you mind helping me with some more books? In the back… there's a few stacks up on a higher shelf I can't quite reach."

"Of course, love," he responded, then followed the beauty, leaving Emma alone with Gold."

"You wished to speak with me about something important without your husband being around, Miss. Swan?" the Dark One then questioned once Belle and Hook disappeared.

The Savior nodded and then she asked, "Back when Killian came to you asking for you to restore his hand…?"

Gold looked at her in understanding and answered, "I didn't curse his hand. When Hook… came to me that afternoon asking me to restore it, I knew in that moment I could use his request to my advantage. I knew how much Hook was suppressing to remain the hero he had become, especially back then. I know how much of an effort it's been for him to keep centuries of hatred and anger inside. So, I warned him that if I were to restore his hand, it could have adverse influence over him. That it could cause him to revert back into his old self. I made him believe I might have cursed it. I knew he wouldn't trust me enough to heed my warning, but soon he did begin to revert because his mind started playing tricks on him. Brought his hate back to the surface. I succeeded in getting into his head. I am sorry."

"That isn't why I asked," Emma worryingly replied. "Killian's afraid he's going to become his old self again. I don't believe it, but I'm worried he's going to try to hurt himself like he tried to do before I walked in here, if only just to make sure we're all safe."

"Which is why it's important you find his enemies as soon as possible, Miss. Swan," he said firmly.