Posy may be thrilled that Thresh has won the Hunger Games, despite her really not knowing what that has entailed, but her upbeat attitude begins to falter as she notes the absences of our parents and siblings. I can see the exact moment she realises, that despite the 'scary' being over, the environment around her is certainly not back to normal, and the celebrations of Thresh's win are dismal at best.
Posy's brow furrows as she stands up, looking around.
"Where's Mommy?" she asks Gale, and looks towards the back door.
Hazelle's silhouette is perfectly visible through the grimy window next to the back door. I can see her hugging one of the boys, their head just discernable by her shoulder. I'm not sure which one it is.
Posy watches, too.
"She's just outside with the boys." Gale smiles his best comforting smile, the forced one he only reserves for the younger kids, and occasionally uses to irk me when he's being particularly irritating. Right now though, it's completely for the benefit of his baby sister. No sarcasm. He reaches out to pull Posy's face around to his. "She'll be back in a little while."
Posy purses her lips and looks back to the door. "Why are the boys outside?" She turns back to him. "I want to go outside."
"They, they're just not feeling too, good. You stay here with me, and Katniss." Gale's smile remains solid, but his eyes betray him. I can tell by the way Posy's expression fails to change, that she's noticed it too. "It's okay."
"It's not okay." She huffs and drops back down to her seat on the floor with a pout. "I don't like it."
"Me neither." Gale says gently.
"Why is Prim in the kitchen?" Her accusing eyes fall on me this time, for answers.
In the moment of hesitation I give before answering, I know I've lost Posy. "She's just getting a drink."
"That's a lie." She mumbles and folds her arms. "You're not supposed to lie."
There isn't much I can add to the conversation. She's right. I am lying. Gale is lying. We've all been lying through our teeth to Posy for days now. I beat down the gurgling of guilt in my stomach. Posy doesn't press me for any more answers and her frown has dissipated. Gale rubs my shoulder.
At some point, Posy migrates over to the 'toy box' and begins to sift though the various items collected in it. Gale's hand remains on my shoulder as he watches his baby sister, her quiet rummaging more of a worry than a consolation. He watches her with an expression harmonising with the turmoil in his eyes.
His grip moves to my other shoulder as he puts an arm around me. When he speaks, it's quiet, mumbled into the hair above my ear.
"Even when it's over, it's not over. Is it?" He presses his lips to the shell of my ear. "We should be free of it for another year, and…" Gale trails off when the sound of sniffing breaks through from the kitchen.
Posy must hear it too, because she whips around and frowns at the door. Another sniff punctuates the quiet of the living room, and she turns back to the box.
My eyes burn at the sound of what can only be Prim crying, and I squeeze them shut. The warmth of Gale's hand on the back of my neck grounds me, and even blind, I allow myself to be guided into his arms.
"One day it's not going to be like this." His words are almost just breaths of air that tickle my ear as he speaks. "One day it'll be better."
I turn my head into Gale shoulder, and press my nose against his shirt. "I'm not sure I believe you." I whisper truthfully.
"I'm not sure I believe me either."
Gale holds me close, rocking us slightly back and forth. It's a nice thought, that one day we could abandon this annual feeling of terror, and the anxiety and distress leading up to it throughout the year, but it's simply an idea I cannot afford to harbour. It's a hope that I cannot afford to have.
"Can we play this?" Posy breaks our embrace unashamedly, holding out a pack of cards containing significantly less than fifty-two.
"Yeah, sure." Gale says. Kissing me on the forehead and pulling back.
"You going to play, Katniss?"
Posy looks up at me expectantly, but with every snivel I hear from the kitchen, my composure slips slightly. I'm finding it harder and harder to mimic Gale's comforting smiles and gentle words.
Gale swoops in before I can answer. "Katniss is feeling pretty tired, Pose. How about she just watches?"
"Okay, but you got to be the judge in case Gale cheats."
"I'll be the judge." I agree, getting up to sit on the couch, stroking a hand up Gale's arm in silent thanks.
Posy and Gale begin their game of 'Snap!' and I lean back on the sofa, watching as they play, attempting to focus my mind on anything other than the Hunger Games, and of course, thinking of nothing else.
Typical.
"You watching, Katniss?" Posy asks.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm watching." I lie to her, again.
I'm getting far too good at lying to children. It's a skill I'd rather not have so much practice at.
xxxxxxxxxx
By the time Hazelle comes in from the back yard with the boys, and my mother and Prim emerge from the kitchen, it's beginning to get dark outside. It seems to be getting darker earlier today than it did yesterday, despite the day feeling a thousand times longer.
Both Vick and Rory look fairly well composed as they enter the room. More so than I expect. I give Vick a gentle smile and he smiles back before ducking out of the room, towards his bedroom. Rory, although appearing fine as he closes the back door behind him, follows Vick without another word, and avoids looking at anyone in the eyes. When the two brothers are tucked away in their room and the door clicks closed, making them safely out of earshot, I turn to Hazelle.
"They okay?" I ask.
Hazelle stands behind the couch and rubs her thumb over my cheek. She smiles kindly, and it's all I can do not to show how much it startles me just how much she looks like Gale when she smiles like that.
Forced and comforting. - It's unnerving.
"They will be." Hazelle nods. She pats my shoulder and breathes deeply through her nose. "They'll be okay."
Hazelle's eyes fall over to her youngest and oldest on the other side of the room. She smiles again, and when she turns back to me, it's genuine.
"Thank you, Katniss." She says. "Thank you for looking after them."
It takes me a second to realise that she is including Gale in that, and I can't help but shake my head at her.
"I didn't, really. Gale, he-,"
She cuts me off. "You did. Thank you for looking after him."
"I think Gale looked after me today." I smirk, but my expression falters at Hazelle's serious one.
"I didn't just mean today." She moves over to the kitchen door where my mother is standing by Prim.
I turn back to Gale and watch as he plays with Posy.
I've never doubted that Gale looks after me. Never. Even when I was a stubborn little kid who wanted nothing more than to be self-sufficient, I knew that Gale was taking care of me, watching out for me. He's watched my back for years; I guess I've been watching his too, and not just out in the woods.
Posy and Gale are still playing 'Snap!' with the part of a pack of cards in the corner. The game has lasted significantly longer than it usually would, due to Gale's tactics to keep Posy entertained. He's intentionally missing all the matching cards so that Posy can yell, "Snap!" and slap her hand down on the pile. I shake my head. She'd be livid if she ever thought he was letting her win.
When she walks into the room, Prim's eyes are red and she has bags under them, but her tears seem to have stopped when she walks over and joins me on the couch. Her head drops to my chest and I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. Unlike Posy, who now that everyone is back together, seems to have recovered from the day's events to the point that she seems completely her normal self, Prim still seems a bit shaken. Her hair is no longer in its braids and she grips me tighter than she normally would.
"Hey, little duck." I say quietly, stroking back some of the blonde tresses out of her face. "You okay?"
It's a stupid question to ask, because of course she's not 'okay', she's twelve and has been forced to witness things no one should ever have to, but Prim still nods.
"Yes." She lifts her head to look at me, and smiles. "I'll be okay."
"Good girl." I kiss her hard on the forehead and tighten my grip on her body.
"Ouch, Katniss," she giggles, and it might be the best noise I've ever heard, "you're squishing me!"
"Don't care." I squeeze harder and press a few fingers into her ribs, tickling her.
"Katniss!" Prim squeals. "Stop it!' she arches away from my hands, and slides off the couch onto the floor, still laughing.
Mid-game, Posy abandons her cards and Gale, and rushes over to Prim's aid, holding her arms wide in front of my sister. She grins at me, scrunching up her nose slightly as she does.
"I'll protect you." Posy declares to Prim, but quickly ducks out of the way once I direct my tickle-attacks at her.
"You're no help!" Prim squeals at the younger girl as I continue my onslaught of tickles. "Posy! You were meant to be protecting me!" her laughs are quickly becoming pained gasps, and my own chest is getting tighter from my hysterics.
One of Prim's feet narrowly misses my temple as she attempts to fight off my hands. The risk of a concussion brings me back to my senses and I leave Prim to pant giddily on the Hawthorne's living room floor, as I settle myself back onto the couch. Prim lies on the floor by Gale's feet, recovering but panting over dramatically. He nudges her with his toe, smirking.
"Will you live?" He asks my sister. She grins at him.
"I'm…I'm okay….I'm fine." Prim wheezes through half-hearted giggles, holding her sides.
My mother rolls her eyes as she walks around the sofa and sits down next to me. "Well thank the Lord, I thought I was going to have to carry you home."
Prim sits up, resting back on her elbows. "It's not my fault." She defends, giving me a look. "Katniss is the one who attacked me."
"It was self-defence." I smirk. Prim straightens her back and Gale snorts.
"From what?" She asks.
I shrug, knowing there's no way I'll ever win this one.
"See," Prim looks to my mother, "not my fault I almost passed out."
Again, my mother answers with nothing more than a smirk and an eye roll. At least we're all smiling again.
Posy stands behind Gale, using his back to prop herself up so that her chin rests on his shoulder. She looks behind me at her mother, absently pulling at loose threads on her brother's t-shirt.
"Mommy, where are the boys?" She asks.
Hazelle moves from the kitchen door and perches on the arm of the couch.
"They've gone to bed, honey."
"Already?" Posy asks incredulously. Hazelle nods with a kinds smile and smoothens her dress over her knees. Posy grimaces. "Why?"
"They're both pretty tired, sweets." Hazelle holds out her hands and beckons her youngest over.
Posy obliges, and rushes past where Prim sits to be lifted onto her mother's lap.
"It's early though."
"I know, Pose. But," Hazelle sighs heavily and pats the dark strands on her daughter's head, "they've had a long day, and neither one of them is too hungry right now."
I can't say I blame Vick and Rory. The sun is almost all the way down, and it certainly feels later than it is. I could definitely go for an early night, and as for the not being hungry thing…with everything those two boys have seen today, it's hardly surprising that they can't stomach a meal.
"It isn't my bedtime though, is it?" Posy clarifies.
"Not quite." Hazelle smiles. "But once you've had a little something to eat, I think an early night would be best."
Posy opens her mouth to argue, but Hazelle is a professional, and one look from her makes the little girl agree, if rather reluctantly. She slides of Hazelle's lap and shuffles over to the cards left on the floor, dragging her feet over the threadbare rug.
"Lose the attitude, please." Hazelle says with a raised brow that even serves to intimidate me. "Put the cards away, please."
Posy obliges and begins shuffling the cards into a specific order, only known by her, before placing them into the box one by one. Her attempts to postpone her bedtime, while basic, seem to have the desired effect, because Hazelle just shakes her head and begins to make her way into the kitchen.
"I'm going to make Posy a little something, would anyone else like anything?" Hazelle looks to my mother.
"No, actually, we should be going." My mother says, standing from the couch. "It's best if we get home before it's completely dark."
My heart sinks.
Gale puts a hand on my foot, keeping me in place.
I don't want to go home.
For all that the past couple of days have been traumatic regarding the games, for Gale and I, they've been life changing. Even in my own mind, I cringe at how dramatic I sound, but it's the truth. These hours we've all been trapped inside the Hawthorne's property have proved more than anything, that Gale and I are no longer just friends.
We're no longer just anything. I want at least one more night to explore this.
"Do we have to go home?" Prim whines from her position on the floor.
"Yes." My mother stands close to Prim and holds a hand out for her to take. Prim eyes it but doesn't reach out.
"Please can we stay a bit longer?" She begs, and I also turn to look in my mother's direction, hoping my own pleading is visible through my expression.
"It's no trouble." Hazelle smiles kindly. "Really."
"See." Prim says triumphantly, but my mother reaches out and takes my little sister's hand anyway, pulling her too her feet.
"No, we have to go." My mother pulls Prim over to where Hazelle stands by the kitchen door. "We've imposed enough. Thank you, Hazelle, for having us."
"It's been a pleasure." Gale mother pulls my mother into a hug and pats her shoulder. "Really, it's nice to have the family all together."
The family. All of us. The family.
"Go and get our things." My mother tells Prim. "Quickly."
Prim shuffles off to the bedrooms to retrieve her and my mother's few possessions, quickly returning with a sour look on her face.
"Vick and Rory say bye." She mumbles, apparently as excited about leaving her friends as I am about leaving Gale.
"Thanks again. Bye, Gale. Bye Posy." My mother says, ushering Prim into the kitchen. "Come, on Katniss."
I sigh and glace down at myself, suddenly realising I'm still wearing Gale's t-shirt I slept in, after failing to find my own in the rush of the morning.
"I'm still in Gale's shirt." I state blandly.
Prim raises an eyebrow and my mother looks back at me blankly.
"And?" She prompts.
"Well," I shrug, "maybe I should look for my own shirt, before coming home." I suggest. Perhaps if I can drag out the evening using Posy's stalling technique, we'll get to stay with the Hawthorne's for another night, and I'll get to stay with Gale.
"Katniss," my mother sighs, "you can get your shirt another time, now come on we have to go."
I'm about to admit defeat and stand up when Gale's grip on my foot tightens and he speaks up.
"You know, Katniss and I haven't been able to go hunting for a few days now." He starts and I frown at him, unable to see where he is taking this. "We don't have school tomorrow and since the games are over, I was hoping you guys would be staying so that we could get an early start in the woods." My mother frowns slightly. "It's just, in a few days we'll be back at school and if we could get a couple of whole days hunting…" he trails off, rubbing his neck and half glancing at the carpet.
I silently praise Gale for such quick thinking, before considering that maybe he's been planning this in his head since the games finished. Technically he's right. My mother can't argue that an early start out in the woods wouldn't be beneficial to us all, and in a few days once supplies have diminished, that it won't be vital.
"It would be good if they could get out early and have a full day." Hazelle says, and the wry smile she gives me says she's not just defending our case for the sake of some fresh meat and something to trade at the hob. "And all Katniss needs is already here."
"Yeah." Gale nods. "She came in her jacket and her boots, and I've got a spare bag if we need it."
Hazelle's input and Gale's logic appears to have swayed my mother. Her shoulders hunch in defeat and she lets out an overly dramatic sigh.
"You're right." My mother nods.
"So we can stay?" Prim squeals and I smile.
"No." My mother's words cause all of our faces to fall. "We're going home." She places a hand on Prim's shoulder. "Katniss can stay."
As my smile comes back with a vengeance and Gale grins brightly, Prim mirror's someone who has just been brutally offended.
"That's not fair." She whines, sounding much more like a child of Posy's age rather than twelve.
"Sorry." My mother says unapologetically. "You know we can't leave the house empty for too long, and anyway, you've got to take care of Buttercup and Lady."
Of course that's a lie. Buttercup feeds himself for the most part; I know this because I often find odds and ends of rodents strewn about the bushes near our house. As for Lady, unless she needs milking, she's fairly self-sufficient, and I know Prim has assured that the neighbour will milk her twice a day while we're not home, if he get's to keep the milk. Despite my mother's lie, Prim's moods seems to placate at the mention of her beloved animals, and she nods an 'okay'.
My mother eventually manages to get Prim out of the door with a mixture of grounding threats, and promises to let her come back to the Hawthorne's tomorrow to spend time with Vick and Rory. I wave goodbye to my mother, and hug Prim tightly, spending a few private moments to relish in the fact that she is here, safe in District Twelve, rather than lying in a box in the Capitol.
After sitting at the kitchen table with Gale, Hazelle and Posy, and eating some stale bread and reheated stew, the time comes to get the four-year-old to bed. Despite the rest of us feeling exhausted, as demonstrated by Hazelle's weary eyes and Gale's constant yawning, it is evident that Posy does not share the feeling.
It takes two demands for glasses of water, three claims of needing the bathroom, and six times of Posy re-emerging out of her and her mother's bedroom, until Hazelle cracks and takes herself off to bed with her youngest in tow.
Gale's mother pauses at the door to her bedroom and turns to her eldest son. "Before you go to bed, could you clear up the living room?" She glances around at the chairs from the kitchen and the cushions and blankets still on the floor. "Give the pillows back to the boys and put the cushions back on the couch."
"Yeah, of course, Mom." Gale nods but stops her before she can get completely into her room. "But Katniss is going to need the pillows to sleep on, so…"
Hazelle's brow creases as she looks from Gale to me, and back again. "I thought Katniss would just be sleeping with you. You've got your room back now Prim and Mrs Everdeen are home."
I glance over to Gale who is watching his mother with utter surprise. His brows practically reach his hairline.
"Katniss can sleep in my," he swallows, "room?"
Gale's voice cracks slightly, like it used to when he was fourteen, on the last word and Hazelle doesn't even attempt to conceal the snort of laughter at her son's expense. I myself feel a little more sympathy for him as his cheeks turn a dark hue of red, and so cover my chuckle with a cough.
"Yes," Hazelle smiles, "Katniss can sleep in your room."
"Cool." Is all Gale says in response and Hazelle rolls her eyes.
"Thank you." I say to her sincerely. She smiles. "Thanks."
"Not a problem. Now, clean up the living room. I'll see you two tomorrow, when you get back."
Before either of us can say anything else, Hazelle ducks into her room, Posy yelling her twentieth 'Good Night!' of the evening.
Gale and I are left alone in the living room for the second time in two days. Gale coughs and rubs his neck.
"We should…probably…" He gestures to the mess surrounding us.
"Um, yeah." I reply, and we begin clearing the room quietly.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
It takes Gale and I longer than anticipated to clear the living room. One of the boys' pillows has disappeared, and it requires a whole turnover of the room until Gale eventually pulls it out from behind an old dresser in the corner.
"Why is it even behind there?" he asks, beating the dust off the pillowcase.
"I have no idea." I smirk. "You know what the kids are like when they play games. Nothing they ever do seems to make sense to anyone but themselves." Which is perfectly true. On more than one occasion Gale and I have been roped into playing games with our younger siblings that neither of us can decipher as having any meaning.
"Hmm." Gale hums, crossing the room to the other pillow and tucking it under his arm. "I think we're done here." His eyes sweep the room, now void of kitchen chairs and blankets. "You can get settled if you like." Gale points an elbow in the direction of his bedroom. "I'll just be few minutes." He smiles and takes the two pillows to his brothers.
I slip through the gap in Gale's door through to his bedroom, and climb over the mattress to where the dresser stands. Gale boxers I wore last night for bed are neatly folded on top of it. I shimmy out of my trousers and pull Gale's underwear on top of my own. I've been wearing his t-shirt for over twenty-four hours now, but it's clean enough, so I leave it on and settle myself awkwardly in the centre of Gale's single mattress.
The bedroom door cracks open a few minutes later and Gale pops his head around.
"Hey." He smiles, squeezing through the gap fully and closing the door behind him. "You okay?" Gale voice drops lower as he drops down onto the mattress and crawls over to me.
"Yeah. I'm good."
"Glad it's all over?" He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Until next year."
"Until next year." Gale agrees solemnly.
His hand stills on my cheek, but my breath catches when Gale rubs his thumb over my lips gently.
"We'll be okay." He tells me, pressing his forehead against mine. My eyes fall closed at the sensation of him bumping his nose to mine. "You believe me, Catnip?"
"I believe you." As I speak, my lips brush his
Gale moves his hand from my cheek to the back of my head. I shiver as his other hand rubs a track over my bare knee and up my thigh, resting beneath the hem of his borrowed boxer shorts. His fingers scratch lightly at my scalp, and a low moan escapes my lips involuntarily. The moan is so unexpected that I cut it off with a hand clapped to my mouth. When my eyes fly open and the heat rushes up my chest, Gale is watching me with an amused smirk.
"Sorry." I mumble from behind my hand, excruciatingly embarrassed that Gale has managed to emit such a foreign noise from me with only his finger on my scalp. I look down at where his other hand rests on my thigh, avoiding his eyes as the blush continues to rage.
"Catnip." Even without looking up at him, I can hear the smile in his voice. "Hey, Catnip, look at me?"
The smirk originally on Gale's face has been replaced with a shit-eating grin. At the sheer expression of what can only be described as triumph on Gale's face, I turn away from him. It's an attempt to look angry, but I have to admit it's mostly embarrassment keeping me from looking at him.
Gale uses the hand still in my hair to pull my face back around to his. I grudgingly allow him to do so, my initial blush now subsiding.
His victorious air is still evident in the peripherals of his expression, but Gale's smile is small and comforting, not forced like the ones he's been giving Posy and the other kids. For me, this is all genuine. That knowledge dulls the embarrassment.
"You're so cute." Gale chuckles, rubbing my scalp again.
Despite the change in situation, the feeling of his fingers still has the desired effect and I have to swallow down another noise of pleasure.
"No one has ever called me cute in my entire life." I frown.
"Well," Gale kissed the tip of my nose, "I think you're cute." The shit-eating grin is making another appearance.
"Stop calling me cute."
"Cute Catnip. You're so cute."
"Stop it." I warn him again, attempting to look threatening and apparently failing if the look of amusement on Gale's face is anything to go by.
"Cute."
"I hate you." I grumble.
Gale pecks the corner of my mouth, causing it to twitch up into a smile. My threatening glare falters even more and splinters into nothing.
"Do you?" Gale kisses my lips chastely.
"Yes. I hate you, Hawthorne." I kiss him back.
"No you don't." He grins.
"You're right." I grin back, bumping his nose with my own. "I don't."
Gale presses his lips to mine once again, using the hand on the back of my head to tilt my face towards his. This kiss is no longer chaste. If our previous kisses tonight were breezes against my lips, then right now, Gale is giving me a storm.
It's not innocent. It's heated and gorgeous and so very reminiscent of our activities from the night before.
I can tell that Gale is holding back. His kisses are animalistic and I encourage him with nibbles to his bottom lip and brave swipes with my tongue, but his hands remain static in my hair and on my leg. When we pull back, Gale watches me with dark eyes. I place my hand over his on my thigh.
"Touch me." I command in a breathy whisper.
His already dark eyes become almost black as Gale's pupils dilate. He begins messaging my scalp and the hand on my leg becomes less stoic.
"Like this?" He asks.
"Yes." I swallow hard and pull his face closer.
Gale's tongue finds mine as we kiss, and the man who once fell from a twenty-five foot tree and broke three ribs without even batting an eyelash, whimpers into my mouth when I trace a line over his crotch with two fingers.
I hold on to Gale. My hands run up to his arms, shoulders, the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. The hand on the inside of my thigh rises, closer to where pleasurable throbbing becomes more insistent and longing pools in my abdomen.
Gale's mouth moves from my lips to my jaw with a closing peck. He sucks lightly on the sensitive skin of my throat as he moves down. The moan that escapes me makes Gale chuckle, but I'm no longer concerned with mortification. Fingers on my thigh brush my underwear.
"Gale." I hiss, pressing my face into his shoulder.
His hands still and Gale's ministrations on my neck pause.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asks quietly.
It's so preposterous that I would ever want Gale to stop doing what he is doing right now, that I almost snort. Instead, I lift my head from his shoulder, and take his face in both of my hands.
"Don't you dare stop." I grin, and the concern on his face evaporates.
"You're the boss." He rakes a fingernail over the outside of my damp underwear.
I shudder.
"And don't you forget it."
A/N: Hey guys, thanks for reading and thank you so much for the lovely reviews and messages on tumblr!
Please do leave reviews, because I love to see what you thought. –Panic xxx