Amy paced around in her room, still in her clothes. She knew she should've gone to sleep hours ago, but she was too nervous.

Something just didn't feel right.

She could see light start to come in through the window that proved just how long she had been awake. Despite not sleeping for nearly 24 hours, she wasn't in the least bit tired. Not when she felt so agitated for some unknown reason.

The sun was hidden behind the morning clouds that had brought about a new thick layer of snow during the night. Instead of a sunrise, all that came with the morning was a depressing gray.

There was a soft knock on her door around 6:00 AM that shook her out of her thoughts.

"Come in," she called.

Knox slowly entered the room, not noticing that she hadn't changed from the night before.

"Hey, have you heard from Neil at all? He told me he'd talk to me last night, but I never heard from him, and I'm really worried." She stopped when she noticed his ashen face and slowly approached him. "Are you okay?"

Knox swallowed thickly. "Neil went home with his father last night. His parents went to sleep, but there was a noise. They found him…in his father's study…with a pistol…"

Amy suddenly couldn't find air. It was as if the entire room had suddenly closed in on her with the sole purpose of suffocating her.

"Neil's dead."

"No…" Amy said quietly with a smile that tried to hide her emotions. "No, he…he said he loved me. He…he wouldn't do this to me."

"Amy—"

"No! No, you're…you're wrong!" Her eyes welled with large tears, and she couldn't get oxygen into her lungs. "You're wrong…"

Knox quickly ran forward and pulled her into his arms as she began wailing. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed against his chest, unwilling to believe that the boy she loved was dead.

Todd slowly opened his eyes when he felt someone gently shaking him out of his sleep. He drowsily turned to see who had woken him up.

"Oh, Charlie," he groaned.

It was way too early for anything Dead Poets related. Didn't Charlie know that some people still needed sleep? Not everyone was as gung ho about Dead Poets as he was.

He tiredly turned back over and attempted to go back to sleep. Charlie quickly put his hand on him again and forced him to get up. Todd looked up at Charlie and noticed a tear running down his cheek.

"What is it?" he asked in surprise.

He looked over towards the door and saw Meeks and Pitts with sad expressions on their faces. Knox was holding Amy as she cried onto his shoulder.

Something had to be really, really wrong for them to wake him up with these reactions.

"Neil's dead," Charlie whispered.

Amy let out another sob at the awful words she had to hear for the second time.

With everyone except Amy still in their pajamas and coats, they followed Todd as he numbly walked outside the school into the falling snow. He hadn't said a word yet, and the others looked at him with concern, not exactly sure how he was reacting to the news.

He stopped a few feet away from the school and looked around him with a small smile. "It's so beautiful," he remarked softly.

The other boys stared at him sadly. His mind wasn't completely processing what had happened. He was almost in a state of shock.

Then the reality of everything hit him. He started gagging for a couple seconds before he fell onto his knees and vomited into the snow.

"Todd!" Charlie exclaimed.

Everyone ran up to him and knelt down next to him. Knox hugged him from behind while Amy gently put her hand on his shoulder, tears still pouring from her eyes.

"It's okay, Todd," Charlie cried. "It's all right, Todd."

"Todd, it's okay," Knox mustered out. "It's okay, Todd."

"It's all right. It's all right."

Charlie grabbed a handful of snow and wiped Todd's mouth with it. The boy began to sob and shake.

"He wouldn't—He wouldn't have done it," he said quietly in hysterics.

"You can't explain it, Todd," Meeks told him.

"It was his father!"

"No!" Pitts exclaimed.

"He wouldn't have left us. It's because he…He wouldn't have. His dad was…his—his father did it."

"Todd," Charlie said gently, trying to get him to calm down.

"His father killed him. He made him do it."

Todd pushed himself out of the boys' grasps and stumbled down the hill, tripping and falling a couple times and getting covered in snow.

"Todd!" Meeks called.

"Leave him be!" Charlie insisted.

As Todd continued down the hill, he let out a loud and pained scream that reached down to Amy's chest. She stood up with the other boys and watched him make his way down to the dock where just a couple weeks prior, she, Todd, and Neil had run lines together for the show.

Amy began to sob again. Knox gently put his arm around her shoulder, allowing her to cry onto him once more.

Since it was a Saturday, Amy did not go to Ridgeway that day. The remaining run of A Midsummer Night's Dream had been cancelled because even though Neil had an understudy, no one could do the show with the knowledge that their lead and friend had just recently killed himself. Amy couldn't get up on that stage again to perform even if she wanted to. She may be a talented actress, but there was no way she could pretend to be in love with someone when the person she really loved was dead.

To think that she had been so happy the night before as she and Neil ran through the whole show together, each excited when they saw the other performing.

She didn't realize that so much could change in just a few short hours.

Amy went up to Todd's room in search of the book of poems Neil used during their Dead Poets Society meetings. She wanted something…some piece of him to hold onto.

"Hey, Todd," she called softly as she entered his room. "I, um…I…"

She faltered when she looked over at Neil's bed which still had his sheets and blanket on it. He would never again sleep in that bed.

"I…"

She couldn't go on.

She fell to the floor in tears. Todd quickly hopped off the bed and rushed over to her, comforting her in the same way the other boys had done earlier for him.

Amy clutched onto him, her knuckles turning white. Her cries reached the others and before she knew it, Knox, Charlie, Pitts, and Meeks were also on the floor rubbing her arms.

"It's okay, Amy," Charlie said softly. "It's okay."

Once Amy had collected herself again, she passed by her father's classroom to look for the book and was about to enter when she saw him staring at Neil's desk. After a moment, he opened the top of the desk and pulled out one of the books. Amy recognized it as the book they read poems from during Dead Poets Society meetings. The one she had been looking for.

Her father opened the book and sat down at the desk. She saw him read the inscription, his favorite poem by Thoreau that they recited at the beginning of every meeting. Then he put his hands to his face and started sobbing.

"Oh, Daddy!" Amy said quietly as she rushed into the classroom.

She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing her hand up and down his arm, tears once again finding their way to her own eyes as well.

The two of them remained in the classroom in silence for several moments, neither able to say any words to ease the pain.

The administration at Welton did not let Amy attend the memorial service on Neil's behalf. She wanted to believe that it was because the students were already distracted enough and her presence would just make things worse, but she was fairly certain it was more than that.

That afternoon, the Dead Poets met up in one of the small supply closets waiting for Cameron. Amy's eyes were red and swollen by now and she remained silent. She didn't have the energy to tease the others about their current smoking habits like she normally would.

"You told him about this meeting?" Charlie asked.

"Twice," Pitts answered.

"That's it, guys. We're all fried."

"How do you mean?"

"Cameron's a fink. He's in Nolan's office right now finking."

"About what?"

"The club, Pittsie. Think about it. The board of directors, the trustees, and Mr. Nolan. Do you think for one moment they're gonna let this thing just blow over? Schools go down because of things like this. They need a scapegoat."

The door opened, and the boys quickly put out their cigarettes and waved their hands in the air in a futile attempt to get rid of the smell. A small light turned on and Cameron slowly walked in.

"What's going on, guys?" he asked nonchalantly.

"You finked, didn't you, Cameron?" Charlie said lowly as he stood up and walked over to him.

"Finked? I don't know what you're talking about."

"You told Nolan everything about the club is what I'm talking about."

Cameron's nonchalant demeanor broke, and he pointed an accusing finger in Charlie's direction. "Look, in case you hadn't heard, Dalton, there's something called an honor code at this school, all right? If a teacher asks you a question, you tell the truth or you're expelled."

"You little—"

Charlie lunged for him, but Meeks and Knox quickly held him back from attacking his 'friend'. Cameron took a nervous step back while Todd and Amy stood up in alarm.

"He's a rat!" Charlie yelled. "He's in it up to his eyes so he ratted to save himself."

"Don't touch him, Charlie," Knox said firmly. "You do and you're out."

"I'm out anyway!"

"You don't know that! Not yet."

"He's right there, Charlie," Cameron told him. "And if you guys are smart, you will do exactly what I did and cooperate! They're not after us. We're the victims. Us and Neil."

"What's that mean?" Charlie asked. "Who are they after?"

"Why, Mr. Keating, of course! The 'Captain' himself! I mean, you guys didn't really think he could avoid responsibility, did you?"

"They think my father's responsible for this?" Amy asked quietly.

Cameron glared at her. "Yeah, and he's not the only one."

Amy looked at the other boys in horror.

Charlie glared at Cameron in disbelief. "Mr. Keating and Amy responsible for Neil? Is that what they're saying?"

"Well, who else do you think?!" Cameron yelled. "The administration? Mr. Perry?"

"Yes!" Amy exclaimed.

"Mr. Keating put us up to all this crap, didn't he? And Amy had to fill his head with lovestruck nonsense! If it wasn't for Mr. Keating and Amy, Neil would be cozied up in his room right now studying his chemistry and dreaming of being called 'Doctor'."

"That is not true, Cameron, and you know that!" Todd exclaimed desperately taking a step forward. "He didn't put us up to anything! And Neil loved acting! And you know that he really loved Amy even more!"

"Believe what you want, but I say let the Keatings fry! I mean, why ruin our lives?!"

Charlie turned and lunged towards Cameron and punched him hard in the face. Cameron flew back and knocked down some of the items in the room. Meeks and Knox pulled Charlie away from him.

Cameron touched his bloody nose and glared up at Charlie. "You just signed your expulsion papers, 'Nuwanda'." He slowly got up to his feet. "And if the rest of you are smart, you'll do exactly what I did. They know everything anyway. You can't save the Keatings…but you can save yourselves."

Amy took a couple steps forward and glared at him which was quite frightening as none of them had ever seen her so angry before. "Okay, you know what? I don't go here."

Without warning, she delivered a second punch to Cameron's face. Knox quickly pulled her away as well, but not as forcefully as he had with Charlie.

"Stop, Amy, you'll only make it worse," he told her.

"It can't get any worse!" Amy cried turning to face all of them, her eyes glassy. "Look, it's no secret that most of the administration doesn't exactly approve of me or my father's teaching methods, especially the fact that he let me sit in on one of his classes. And now with a confession? We don't stand a chance."

Amy tearfully ran out of the room. Suddenly, all of the boys wished it had been him who punched Cameron. Or more accurately, they all wanted to deliver one separate punch. Or multiple ones.

Amy ran down the halls and out of the school, not caring who saw her. She raced out of the building to greet the cold winter air. With only a sweater on, she quickly became very chilled, but she didn't care.

Once far enough away from the school, she looked up to the sky with tears running down her face.

Then she screamed. She screamed and screamed and didn't stop screaming until she had completely run out of breath. Then she screamed again.

Once she was spent, she collapsed onto the ground in sobs, the snow soaking into her clothes.

"Amy!"

She looked beside her to see Todd kneeling next to her. He gently draped his coat around her shoulders.

"Don't listen to what Cameron said."

"But he's right!" she cried hysterically, her voice hoarse after all the screaming. "I loved him! I was supposed to be there for him! I should've known! I should've stopped him! The one person I've ever loved is dead and it's my fault!"

Todd took Amy up into his arms and let her cry. In this state, she would never listen to anything he said so all he could do was remain quiet and let her cry out her emotions. Once she had calmed a little more, he would try to help talk her down.

As he held the sobbing girl, one thought went through his mind: he would never forgive Cameron for this.