Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.
Day 2
The clock next to her bed showed that it was 2:41a.m. She needed to get up in another 2 hours 19 minutes. She had been tossing and turning on her bed for hours, trying and failing to sleep. Clinging to his pillow like a koala, she breathed in the remaining scent, missing his warmth and his company.
She needed to sleep, but she couldn't quiet her mind. And right now, her mind decided to start pondering if people were pieces of land drifting in a vast space, and relationships were just lands bound together by an unknown force as they come and go.
Cristina thought about her past. High school was a big, fat mess. How do people marry their high school sweetheart? She wondered. She could barely remember who she went to the prom with—she didn't want to go but her mom had made her—let alone her classmates. Knowing very clearly that she needed to get into a good college, she was focused, determined, and surely wouldn't let things like that distract her. And maybe that's why she could barely remember what happened in high school, which was a little sad, now that she thought about it.
Then, she went to Smith, and there was her chemistry TA. Their mutual interest in atoms and molecules brought them together, but in a way, it led them apart too. It ended when he left Smith to do his PhD at God-knows-where; it's been too long for her to remember. Was it Caltech? Or Chicago? She had no idea. They didn't stay in touch after he left, he was not her friend on Facebook, and it had all just become another forgotten atom in the massive universe.
Colin Marlow. She scowled as she thought about him. The renowned cardiothoracic surgeon, her professor, the one who could always find a mistake in everything. Even if she managed to win ten Harper Avery awards, he would still have something to criticize her about when they met. Their relationship was built entirely on her thirst to learn and his intention to have someone presentable by his side, someone with beauty and brains, and who would not embarrass him once she opened her mouth. She knew very well that she was exactly what his ego needed, that in the relationship, they would never be on an equal level, and she would always be the suppressed and feeble one. And no, Cristina Yang would not live a life like that, and so she ended it, knowing that he would find another young med student to satisfy his ego.
For a very long time, Burke meant something. She had meant it when she said yes, and she was ready to spend the rest of her life with him. She was ready to walk down the aisle, though in the end she didn't have to. After that incident, she often found herself reflecting on the time they were together, trying to find her mistake, wondering what she could do to fix it. Was it because she was too ambitious? Too career driven? But that was the way she was. Thinking about it, if they had gone through with the wedding, she would have continued to let him take pieces of her, until one day, she wasn't Cristina anymore, but merely a famous surgeon's wife.
But thank God, the wedding was called off, though embarrassingly, or else she wouldn't have met Owen. Maybe this was what people called a blessing in disguise. Or maybe that night in the trauma room would still happen, just that things were going to be a little complicated among Cristina and Owen and Burke, because if it's meant to be, it would be. He was the one. She shuddered at the cheesy thought but still, thinking of him, of them, she smiled. They had been through so much together, and every time they just kept coming back to each other. If that's not a sign, what else is? Nothing could tear them apart, not a stupid plane crash, not a stupid misunderstanding over the purchase of the hospital, and absolutely not the distance.
She had never done long distance—probably due to her lack of faith in her past relationships—and to be honest, it was scary as hell. She wondered how things were going to turn out this time. It's definitely going to be complicated—they had always been complicated—but she was sure that they would have their forty years. On that night, she was sure.
NOTE: This chapter is beta-ed by Eliza. Thank you for reading! xx