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Twilight does not belong to me, I know this and you know this sooooo on to the story…
Seek Not My Heart-- Tease Me/Leave Me
The car ride was filled in complete utter silence, both of us lost in our own little worlds. There really was no longer any tension, besides me wanting to touch him. But who can blame me when the only thing between us was the armrest.
I tried the whole time to keep my eyes either straight ahead or out my window, but it was pretty difficult to not try steal glances his way. I just couldn't stop the memory of our almost kiss, and the way his eyes were filled with so many emotions that were incomprehensible and scary yet made me feel so wanted.
I wanted to fill the silence, but I guess I was a bit embarrassed that I admitted that I did in fact want to kiss him. It really didn't help that after I answered that question he didn't speak a word after.
It almost made me look forward to shopping with Alice, just to be out of this car. The only good thing about it was since I could no longer blush he wouldn't know I was embarrassed. Or if he did I believe Alec would never mention it.
We were the last to pull into a parking space, while everyone else was waiting and talking around the parking lot. Humans passed by both walking slow and staring mesmerized or practically ran while taking quick glances, fear radiating off all of their forms.
Alec parked and turned off the ignition while unbuckling his self, he never took a single glance in my direction as he made his way out of the car. For a moment I thought he was just going to ignore me and I felt utter disappointment, but surprisingly he came around the front and opened my door.
A quiet 'thank you' left my lips to which he nodded absentmindly. I wanted to question him on what he was so intently thinking about but before another word could come out Alice grabbed my arm, seeming to appear out of nowhere, pulling me rather roughly towards the mall.
"I am about to get you enough clothes to at least last a century." She told me as we zoomed past everyone in a fast human pace, Jasper a stride behind us.
When we got in the store she pushed me into a chair by the fitting rooms and flitted off towards a clothes rack pulling out various things. I was glad that she wasn't having me follow behind her when she was like this.
Some others of my family came in the store and simply looked around calmly, completely opposite to Alice's rampage.
Her arms were filled with clothes when she came to me, wordlessly throwing them into my arms. I got up from the chair and headed to the fitting rooms next to me, already knowing the routine I went through every time Alice took me shopping in the past.
At least now I had vampire speed to go through try on various clothes, that was definitely one thing I would not miss about being human; the speed. It only took me three minutes to try on everything whereas it would have taken me almost an hour before.
The majority of the things Alice picked were actually things I could see myself wearing, but there was some that definitely had me questioning her sanity. But I knew I would just have to grin and bear it because she was going to force me to get everything.
She was already standing, well bouncing, in front of the door and took all the clothes and skipped to the register with Jasper beside her. As she went to pay, I sat back down on the chair from earlier because I knew she wasn't finished with this store yet.
I had my head resting on the wall while I concentrated on how many dots there were on the ceiling. I was so in to my task that I didn't even notice someone come up beside me until they spoke.
"Having fun, are we?"
I practically jumped from my seat before finding it was just Jasper. "Oh yeah, the ceiling is really interesting." I answered as I relaxed back into the seat and looked back at the ceiling.
"Alice is letting you go free." He said.
"So I no longer need to stick around for clothes?" I asked excited, turning to face him.
"Yeah, go find yourself a bookstore." He said, and then his eyes twinkled mischievously. "You could even find that Alec guy to have fun with."
"Jasper." I practically yelled, to embarrass to care.
He shrugged. "I was only saying."
"I'll see you guys later then." I said before rushing out of there.
It was sprinkling lightly as soon as I was through the mall doors. The cool fresh scent of mist wafted through my nose and I welcomed it. I felt free, though I didn't even know that I was feeling so claustrophobic before.
Malls used to do that to me when I was human, I guess that feeling is still able to happen even as a vampire. Not exactly sure if that is a good or bad thing.
Humans passed by, entering the mall staring since they thought I wasn't looking. I ignored them, just enjoying the scent and feel of light rain.
I decided to sit on a bench nearby remembering that standing still was not normal. I was only sitting for maybe ten minutes when a boy probably two or three years older than me sat beside me. A little to close beside me.
"It's a little cold out here; would you like to be warmed up in my car?" He asked in what I suppose was supposed to be a husky sexy tone.
"No thank you." I said politely, hoping he would go away.
His hand was moving towards my knee, and just before I was going to stop it another person's hand snapped out and stopped the human's destination.
We both looked up to see who the hand belonged to and I was pleasantly surprised to find it was Alec. And by the look on his face he was not happy.
I guess the boy wasn't dumb, because he bolted up at Alec's look of rage and mumbled some apology before dashing towards a group of other men.
"Hello." I greeted slowly, not exactly sure how to deal with this angry Alec.
"Why would you let him touch you?" He growled sounding jealous. I was feeling absolutely overjoyed and confused that he sounded that way.
"I was actually about to stop him when you popped out of nowhere." I said with a bright smile.
He was silent for a moment, the anger ebbing away from his face, before speaking. "Why are you sitting out here in the first place?"
"I hate shopping." I simply stated.
He sat beside me silently keeping a gap between us, causing a sigh of disappointment to pass my lips.
He looked at me questioningly but I simply shook my head. "So what are you doing out here Alec?"
"I hate malls." He said, but I could tell he wasn't telling the truth.
"So what made you mad earlier?" I asked.
"Nothing." He mumbled, clenching his hands into tight fists.
"Really?"
"Leave it." He snapped.
A tense silence filled the air between us and I was ready to just go inside the mall and find myself a book store when Alec finally spoke.
"I am sorry," He said, "I should not have snapped."
"It's alright. I shouldn't have asked." I said looking at him through my eyelashes.
He seemed to have relaxed a bit and looked at me; one of his hands moved to my chin and brought my face up more then he dropped his hand.
"Did you get some clothes?" He asked, trying to make small talk.
"Yeah, Alice made me try some on then let me leave. She could probably tell that I was extremely bored, or Jasper told her." I told him.
"I'm surprised they just let you go, especially that dog." He said, sneering on 'dog.'
I chuckled. "Yeah, me too. They always seem to right around the corner."
"Did you see where Jane was?" He asked.
"I think I saw her with Felix." I replied with a huge smile, thinking about her with Felix.
I was definitely glad for Jane. I still wasn't sure if she and Felix were an item or anything but if he was keeping her happy then he could keep his limbs. Oh, yeah I needed to remember to threaten him sometime. I laughed outright at that thought.
Alec looked at me like I lost it with his head tilted slightly in a very adorable way. I simply quieted down and shook my head, clearing my thoughts.
"I was just thinking I still need to threaten Felix." I said.
"Threaten?" He asked in disbelief with his eyebrows raised high and eyes wide.
"Well, I have to make sure Jane doesn't get hurt." I told him in a matter of fact tone.
"I'll have to help you with that." He said.
I laughed lightly imagining Felix's face at the two of us threatening him and soon Alec joined in, probably thinking the same thing.
We quieted down and drifted off in our own thoughts in a very comfortable silence.
"What do you do to me?" He asked abruptly, looking conflicted.
"Huh?" I asked dumbly, really confused about his mood change and question. Was he alright?
He stared hard at me, searchingly, but soon he gave up and sighed. "Nothing, obviously you don't have a clue."
There it was again. Confusion. Every time it came to Alec it was almost like his job to make me thoroughly flabbergasted in our talks.
The light rain started slowing down then completely stopped. I pulled on a lock of my now wet hair simply playing with it, kind of ignoring Alec.
What do you do to me? His question replayed in my mind. What was he feeling? Did he feel the same towards me? What is it he does to me?
His hand against my cheek startled me from my unanswered thoughts. I looked at him questioningly, but he didn't speak as he brought his face close to mine.
I was planted in place by my shock as his lips brushed mine lightly. My eyelids fluttered closed and a heat filled my lips when he pressed our mouths against each other.
My hands tangled through his hair as I brought myself closer. I rush of fiery burn flooded through my entire body when we deepened the kiss.
Emotions for Alec that simply bubbled under the surface unleashed themselves now and I finally realized what they were.
I granted him access when his tongue swept my bottom lip, our tongues danced for the lead to which I gave to him.
He pulled us apart rather quickly, but there seemed to be some reluctance. My eyes stayed closed a little after we broke apart. I suppose I was just in a daze, his sweet taste still lingering in my mouth.
I opened my eyes slowly and found him staring intensely back at me. This probably would have been slightly awkward if I wasn't so out of it.
He didn't say anything as he swept some of my hair behind my ear, lingering his fingers by my temples. I never got a chance to speak before he just left.
I sat alone on a bench, soaking wet, and with a heart that felt like he just took a large portion with him.
And I couldn't feel mad at him or hate him, I could only feel pain and sadness as he walked away, because the emotions from earlier that I finally realized rung throughout me and shouted in my mind.
I was in love with Alec.
It felt like a giant weight had been lifted now that I finally realized and admitted it to myself.
But the hole in my chest still burned from him leaving me, and I wasn't too sure if finding out my true feelings were a good thing. Especially to find out I love someone that would not love me back, someone that just hurts me…
Before I could any deeper into any thoughts, Alice pranced in front of me and glided gracefully on the bench. Jasper strolled by and just stood in front of us, carrying a ton of shopping bags. Neither saying a word, but the way Alice was looking at me had me realizing that she knew what was happening.
"Why do I always fall for the one's that will end up hurting me?" I sighed.
"Bella," Alice started while grabbing my hands, "remember when we spoke on the phone? What did I tell you to keep hope in?"
Shifting through my memories, I remember what she said cryptically then. "In love."
"You will find your soul mate, even if you have to go through pain. Just never give up that hope, and you'll survive."
"How are you so sure, Alice? The future always changes." I argued.
"Yes, that's true, but some things are set in stone. I don't know how you are going to get there, except for some slight fuzzy pictures occasionally but I do know the ending." She said with a slight smile.
"So you have seen my mate?" I asked.
"Well, yeah." She said in a 'duh' manner. "Bella, you'll get your happy ending you're too good of a person not to."
"So Bella I never knew you could suck face." Jasper said.
"You…you guys were here?" I asked in embarrassed.
"No need to be embarrassed, darlin' Alice had a vision and pulled me here in time to see you and Alec finish up and him leavin'." Jasper said with a shrug.
"That is just great." I muttered. "Why did you have to come out here?"
"Because if we didn't you would be sitting out here all depressed by thinking too much, so I had to make you feel better." Alice said.
"Thanks." I said. "Do you guys have any idea what is up with Alec?"
"Nope, he seems alright with me maybe a bit broody but not as bad as Edward." She said honestly.
"His emotions are quite simple and pretty strong, but he seems to be confused by them." Jasper said, smirking knowingly.
I looked at him to continue, but he simply answered. "I ain't tellin' what he was feelin', silly Bella."
"Fine, don't say anything." I huffed.
My thoughts went back to the kiss and I couldn't help wondering what had gotten into him to do that. If he kissed me because he liked me, I am pretty sure he wouldn't have just left.
But isn't that what he always does? Doesn't he always just leave without saying a word? Why would this time be any different?
I didn't know; I just wished he would have stayed even if we didn't speak.
At this point I wasn't sure which one I wanted more, for us to go back to before the almost kiss happened or for us to just kiss again.
Probably kiss again.
I almost feel like hitting him, he makes my life so damn difficult one punch would probably make me feel better. Or worse, my mind sighed.
Why does he do this to me?
This is definitely worse than the whole fiasco that took place between Edward and I before we started dating. How am I supposed to handle this when I could barely get through that madness?
Well, there you go the first kiss. What do you think; will things be easier or just worse between their relationship? And what is up with Alec, why do you think he does what he does?
Tell me in a review : )